The Strange Case of Harry Hinderson

Thinking about it, much of my distaste for how people write Egbert might be more of a general problem with how Homestucks write "passive" characters

...I mean passive in a general writing sense, not a Homestuck classpecting sense. Put your quills down.

Consider Rose for a second. A lot of, if not most of her character is portrayed through her inaction. What she misses, what she clocks as natural or inevitable, what she doesn't do, what she rules out out of hand.

…and that's part of why people tend to make her cleaner and more logical than she actually is. If you don't clock that, you miss a lot of what tells you that Rose is extraordinarily vain, even to the point of being kind of shallow. You kinda miss that Rose was easily the LVP of the session, because she spent most of her time aurafarming or pointing out obvious information (or having panic attacks). So you wind up with a character that's a bit... archetypal. Predictable.

Which is kinda why I feel a lot of people try to make Egbert by just kind of paving them over. You miss a lot of small details that signify intelligence, or care, and a whole lot of other things that make them three dimensional. Which is why in most fanworks Egbert just feels kind of like you put them through google translate. People unwittingly don't put in a lot of the character, or try to make them Egbert-y by restricting their full range of emotion, or whatever, and then they have to put in new stuff.

ok yeah i get what it was going for but like at least jane being hitler was like cartoonishly funny. i'd have probably done that. there's been an egbert drought that persists TO THIS DAY. i'd LOVE for egbert to get treated like jane instead of like trash.

what a utopia we would live in if egbert was still a well rounded character. but alas nobody ever gives egbert any god damn sauce, and it breaks me in two.

Behold, The Zeroth Guy.

I was requested Roxcallygen. I deliver something sickeningly sweet. Never ask me for anything ever again. 

This takes place in the “Everybody Knows John” universe, where John doesn’t withdraw in the years between Homestuck and the Epilogues. Roxy of course takes the opportunity to work this boy to the bone, and John accepts with the same dutiful conviction with which he faced sburb.

Because this is the first time I’ve made a Calliope centric fanfiction. Because I used to dislike the character, I wanted to make something really special and psychologically precise to counteract all the content that makes her generically pleasant or flatly passive. I think I got somewhere interesting. Next time I write her I’d probably let her be a bit more annoying because I’m more confident writing her.

She’s acting like shes cool and then Egbert slips on a banana peel or something and she just BURSTS into hysterical laughter and slaps her knee like

I haven’t really written much in the way of johnvris either, so maybe it’s a thing with thieves.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85047191

This is a silly Legend of Zelda crossover parody thing where June takes down a lame dark wizard prince guy and saves a kind of annoying princess.

Nintendo has a slower kart racer with Mario Kart, it has a faster more serious driving game with F-Zero, but it doesn’t have a vehicular combat game à la twisted metal or carmageddon.

Yeah, it has Mario Kart battle mode, but that’s like saying 200cc is a good replacement for F-Zero.

I would like to propose… Wario Kart. Or Waluigi’s Nuts N’ Bolts.

John and Rose Watch an Arthouse Film