Haroun31

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[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 25: Capitan Spaventa

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

How did you get into this situation? Truly, how could a person be so damn unlucky to end up in the exact situation you were in?

No, I’m not talking about a bunch of monsters dressed like clowns, with delusion in place of thoughts, who somehow developed an obsession with you. Fuck those, we talked about them enough. No. . .it’s not them the problem now (surprisingly) as much as the red eyes you were looking into at the moment. You have to let Doctor study you.

Because there is no way that you stumbled into a monster trapped in metal wires in the middle of a forest.

Okay, wind back, let’s start from the beginning.

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“Do you have everything?”

Fabric against fabric, a sudden heaviness rested against your back just as your hands sneaked around the straps before bringing them in front of your stomach and clicked shut the two locks to secure the backpack on your body. “I’m still of the opinion that I would rather take the chance and use a car to reach the border” your voice came out gruff, heavy with anxiety and tiredness.

“And have the weirdo with a top hat come out the mirrors inside the vehicle? No thanks. That was how we got discovered the last time” Blake shook his head, helping you put on a cloak that could keep your features partially hidden “You think they knew we were directed to the train station because Ticket Taker stalked us through the car’s mirrors?” your question earned a scoff from the older man “That or it was the mirrors inside my house, either way. . .no more mirrors for you”

The thought of walking. . .while not as horrifying as you might have thought, it puts you in unease with the knowledge that you will be completely alone while running toward your only chance to survival and freedom, with the paranoia that every sound might be them stalking you. That is not appealing at all, which is why you were trying your best to persuade for the riskier plan “What if we smash all the mirrors?” you proposed, immediately earning a glare “And have the police taken us into custody? You out of your mind”

Just then, Samuel walked inside the room with a bag full of different containers “Here, the most important part” he pushed them in your hands to be attached to your hip “Completely eliminating one’s scent is not possible, however there are techniques to help mask it. First, carbon clothes. They are used by hunters and are great for the outdoors”

With his experience on the matter, Blake suggested a good brand and bought a couple of mimetic outfits for you, not only to hide within the forest but they are also great when it comes to protection.

“Second, you can use commercial scent-killing sprays and then mask what you couldn’t with natural cover scents like pine or cedar” the bag he gave you was full of said bottle sprays, together with some dried leaves for your mouth and some natural soaps if you needed to clean your clothes and you weren’t near a town “Don’t worry about the blood, we cleaned all the wounds thoroughly however you will need to do that again or the smell of blood will still seep. Be very careful when treating cuts and be sure to wrap them really tight” 

You nodded your head, grateful for the help you’ve received until now. An overwhelming amount if you said so– still, it’s nice to know that there are people who care for you. . .who genuinely care for you.

You felt a hand land over your shoulder making your eyes shift from the floor and toward the blonde boy who was smiling at you before squeezing your shoulder “You might have heard it a lot in these hours but. . .hang there just a little lore. Just a week, that’s all it takes to reach the border, so clench your teeth and move forward, alright?” his eyes started getting shiner and shiner, his bottom lip trembled slightly before he bit down on it and brought you into a big hug, hiding his head against your shoulder “Please. . .please make it okay? Get to the border safe and sound. . .I don’t want to lose someone else. . .“

Snapping out of your stupor, you wrapped your arms around him back and hummed “I will, I promise that not psycho monster will sink their teeth on me– will that be the last thing I allow” a muffled chuckle escaped Samuel’s lips just as Blake walked over and gently pried his son away from you “So that’s it. . .we won’t probably see each other for a long time, a very long time– perhaps even years. However, the day will come where everything will calm down and we will meet again. Nothing will be as before but every storm at the end dies. This is not a goodbye forever. . .just a mere see you in a while”

You snorted “A long while”

Blake tilted his head “But a while nonetheless”

It made you feel better. . .false hope is such a nice thing to believe in.

Something soft walked between your legs, shifting your attention down only to come face to face with Marylin rubbing her head affectionately with a small pouch between her teeth– like she was telling you she was ready to embark in this adventure with you too which prompted a tired chuckle out of your lips “Mari, sweets, I appreciate the support but unfortunately you won’t come with me” gently, you wrapped your fingers around her body and lifted her so that her eyes could meet your.

The empty pouch fell to the floor as she meowed in protest.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid that from now on we will be on different paths. . .it’s for your safety. You are a stubborn kitty but against 6,6 ft tall monsters who could literally ate you in one bite your stubbornness won’t be enough” Marylin lifted a paw to touch the tip of your nose and once again meowed, this time sounded sadder.

“We won’t stay separated forever though, I promise that we will be together once more and you will have so many treats you can make a throne out of them” you placed her down and knelt so you could pet her one last time “So stay with uncle Samuel and grandpa Blake, okay?”

Behind you heard the older man grumble under his breath “From mister to grandpa. . .this kid can’t call people’s names normally. . .”

Finally, after going back and forth, you approached the front door placing your hand over the knob and hesitated. Your lungs expanded, gathering as much air as possible before exhaling and turned around to gaze at Blake and Samuel one last time, who were already looking at you back, the younger of the two holding Marilyn in his arms while the other with his arms crossed “Thank you again for everything”

Blake lifted a hand “Stay safe out there”

You wanted to promise it but the words felt like flour in your tongue.

“See you in a while” you settled with a smile.

“See you in a long while” were the last words the two of them uttered before you opened the door and started your escape for the border.

The sun was barely out, the air chilly and the smell of flowers overwhelmed your senses. . .such a nice day for trekking.

The plan was simple, really. Hike all the way up to reach the border while using nature to conceal your presence and, once on the other side, get the first plane available and get as far away as possible. The city you were in, where Samuel held his studies to obtain his veterinary degree, was the last big city before the border– with only small towns, patches of forest and empty fields as everything else. 

You will occasionally follow small streets near the forest without ever actually stepping on them and instead exploit the trees to stay hidden– there were a couple of risky sections where you would have to walk along wheat fields that might have the occasional tree here and there but nothing else. And then there were a couple of towns, mainly occupied by farmers that tended to the wheat or woodworkers.

First part? It is a walk through the woods, a small path that can make you skip a lot instead of sticking to the roads– also technically safer as no insane driver can accidentally hit you.

And so the first day you spent like that. Alone. Walking. In an unknown place. And freezing every time you hear a weird sound.

There are a lot of weird sounds in the woods. Rustling, birds’ chirping, water flowing, the wind blowing through the leaves, groaning and crying. . .

Groaning and crying?

Ahead, near an abandoned cabin someone probably used as a station before they closed the path to the public, your ears caught what sounded like someone struggling with doing something, groans followed by rustling and metal against metal. It made you freeze, body going rigid and heart almost bursting out of your chest. Something. . .something alive was far ahead, right in the path you needed to take.

What could it be? An animal? What if it was another human who needed help? Or. . .no, that’s your paranoia speaking. There is no way that it could be them– there is no way that they knew you were here–No way! You don’t have mirrors on you and avoided all the ones in the city before entering the forest. Plus the first thing you and Blake did upon arriving at Samuel's apartment had been taking off all the mirrors or covering them.

No, calm down. . .you are losing your cool–you can’t lose it on the first day damn it!

. . .

You debated if you should approach the sound. The problem was that it was exactly in the middle of the path you have to take and walking around it won’t be possible since the vegetation grew so much that you will be forced to step inside and you don’t want to leave traces of your passage nor accidentally tear the new clothes. Therefore you did the only thing you could.

You persevered on.

The closer you got to the sound, the clearer it became. It sounded like grunts and struggle. And once you approached the old station you understood why.

The ground near it gave away, debris, mud and all sorts of things filled the hole. And right in the center. . .there was the origin of the sounds. . .and you wanted to fall to the ground and never move again when your brain finally made the connection of what it was looking at. Of what it was looking at.

A monster.

A monster child.

His skin dark as the night, short fluffy white hair sticking out everywhere as he kept moving, desperate to be free from the wires holding him down. His fierce red eyes, filled with tears to the brim, snapped around frantically before suddenly landing on you– which prompted the child to become even more agitated, baring his sharp teeth, kicking around and hiss “G-Go away!” he tried to lift his clawed hand like it was threatening and bit the metal wire with his teeth hoping to free himself.

You stood there, a bit dazed, and watched the scene like God himself woke up one day and decided to throw random bullshit at you. Because this was a bullshit. . .a colossal bullshit. Not even a day. . .not even a day in and you still managed to meet a monster. . .you spent more than twenty years without seeing one– how is that now they are everywhere?!

. . .

What to do now? Should you. . .ignore him and just go your way? He doesn’t look like he wants you anywhere near him anyway, you will lose an arm if you try to help him. . .where are his parents anyway? Oh God, what if they are close and absolutely tear you to shreds if they think you hurt their child?

Maybe the best decision is really ignoring him.

You took a step back. . .then another. . .and started walking away.

. . .

“Gh! It hurts. . .”

Before power walking back with your features twisted in an exasperated scowl. Not even five seconds– you didn’t last five seconds before feeling guilty! For fuck sake! You are gonna die. . .you are gonna die soooo badly– how can you hope to last until reaching the border?!

“Uhm, hey. . .” awkwardly, you called into the hole to attract the monster’s attention who stiffened and snapped his wide red eyes on you “N-No! Go away! I-I’m not afraid of hurting you human! Stay away! Don’t touch me!” he gasped out, the abrupt movements digging the metal wires in his flesh.

“Hey! Hey! Calm down, I’m not gonna hurt you. If you keep trashing around it’s gonna be you the one that will do the damage” showing your empty hands seemed to slightly calm down the monster, not enough to allow you a closer inch but enough where he wasn’t accidentally gonna choke himself. His chest went up and down frantically and his stare never left your face as you examined the situation at hand.

He was wrapped by metal wires, probably caused when he accidentally fell into the pit. Horns, arms, legs, torso, it was a mess only the most fanatic puzzle master would enjoy solving.

The wires run all along the pit and up the wall, reaching the station where they originated from. “Okay, listen” you called the monster again “Here what is gonna happen if you want to be free from your restraints. You need to follow what I’m going to tell you to do, okay? I’m not gonna come closer, I’m not even gonna touch the wires, but I need you to pay attention to my movements and repeat them. Do you understand?”

The small monster looked at you in muted scared silence before slowly nodding which made you sigh inwardly. Good, he is gonna cooperate. “Okay, look. With your left hand, take the wire around your horn. We are gonna free your head first so you can look around yourself.” you made a show of reaching with said hand where your hypothetical horn would be. 

The red eyed kid hesitated before following your movement. “Now, slowly do this” and you made the motion of unwrapping the wire from the horn. For the next half an hour you gently guided the monster child to free himself from his restrainings, never getting closer, mindful of making slow movements and keeping your voice low. Soon enough he was standing on his own and able to walk around.

That was your clue to get the fuck out of there and as far away as possible. Your good deed was made and hopefully it won’t be repaid with you as his next meal “Okay, bye now. Stay away from wires and go back to your parents” and having said that, you turned on your heels and continued your journey without turning around, as quickly as possible. Run, run away from your stupid decisions and bleeding heart. 

*Crack*

. . .

Not even a minute later, you heard a twig snap behind and immediately turned around only to see the monster child a few feet away from you freezing in his place and just staring at you. . . was. . .was he following you? You deadpanned, feeling yourself putting on a guard and eyeing the white haired child suspiciously, only now noticing that his bangs actually were long enough to cover his eyes  “Did I not tell you to go back to your parents?” 

He awkwardly fixed his hair, picking a strand that fell on his left horn “Are you going to the border?” you lifted an eyebrow in confusion “And if I was?” eyeing his reaction, you could see that he was afraid, suspicious but also anxious– like he was sure you were about to jump him any second now “I saw the big circle on the map”

Of course he did, monsters have an excellent vision.

“You need to also reach the border?” the question did not get any answer.

. . .

“I’m going to the border” you spoke again “You don’t seem to know your way there so. . .let’s do a deal. You don’t eat me and I won’t hurt you. In exchange you can follow me to reach your destination” once again you did not gain any answer but he wasn’t also baring his teeth or claws at you so you will take the win and go on with your journey– even if it meant having a kid trailing after you.

Legs working again to walking, the journey re-started once again as you made your way down the path. Several feet away the monster child followed after you, never getting close but also never disappearing from your view. Just enough to have you in his covered sight.

After an hour of silent walking, the sun started lowering too much for you to continue so, painfully, you had to set up camp. The plan was to reach one of those hunter cabins left around so you could have a roof over your head, but helping the child ate away too much of your precious time and you will be forced to sleep under the stars tonight.

Finding a clearance, you stopped and took off the heavy backpack from your shoulders and lowered it to the ground. A pair of red eyes watched you with curiosity, the small monster wondering why you would already stop even if the sun was setting in the horizon. He wondered what you were doing, from the safety of distance, taking out an old piece of. . .something and placing it on the ground before meddling with it.

He watched you curse under the breath and recoil when the object sparked some flames that burned your hand. He covered his mouth to muffle a chuckle as the amusing human kept struggling with whatever they were doing. After arguing with it a couple more of seconds, you managed to finally turn it on and a small flame appeared. Too small for warming anyone, must be for food then or perhaps you didn’t have anything else that could be better.

Hours passed by and the darkness started spreading all around you, never reaching the fire though. You sat near it, watching the flames dance while not finding in yourself to actually fall asleep. Not when there was a monster (albeit a child) standing just outside of the light ring. Questions on whenever he would attack you once your eyes closed made it impossible to relax. Hard was trusting his words after all you had with his species were bad experiences.

The first day and night came and passed like this, with you and child never utter another word after the whole metal wires incident. You slept at intervals, well. . .sleeping might be a way to put it– all you did was go in and out of consciousness every couple of minutes to make sure you weren't actually being eaten by the kid. However all he did was staying far away from you but never enough to disappear.

The next morning arrived and so your journey started once again, thr objective of today was reaching not the original hunter cabin but push it until the next one. And, once again, the kid monster was just right behind you, following in your footsteps the whole time. You never attempted to talk with him, it wasn't your plan to be friends and you doubt he wants to in the first place.

Midday arrived sooner than expected and the pangs of hunger started to eat your stomach away, so you decided to stop. The kid also stopped, sitting down under a tree on the other side of the small stream you found. You took out the necessary to have a small meal, together with your bottle water, and just sat down in front of him. Staring.

He stared back. . .you think. . .you can't see those red eyes under his white bangs.

"You know right that you can come a little closer? At least when it's night, it can be cold" Finally you spoke up, feeling bad to have him always just outside of the heat ring. He perked up, shuffled his feet and looked away "I don't trust you. . ." 

Go figure, you learned a long time ago that monsters have crazy trust isses–

"To not eat me!"

*SPRFFFF!*

The water you were drinking suddenly flew out of your mouth as the last bit of the sentence reached your ears, making you double down and cough your lungs before snapping your head up in disbelief "Excuse me, what?" the shuffled around once again, before finding the courage to speak "Yes! You humans! You humans are evil and eat monster children who are naughty! And– And you will use our bones as decor!"

You stared at the kid. You stared at him really hard.

His parents must have told him scary stories to make him stay away from human. . .

"I won't eat you. . ." You let out a long sigh and rubbed your temples "I heard your flesh would taste horrible anyway, I have fine palate you know?" the tease seemed to get out a reaction as you saw the child gasp "I-I do not taste bad! I actually taste super yummy! My mom always bite (lovingly) my cheeks and says so!" He argued with his cheeks puffed.

"Ehhhh? Are we sure?" You drawled, smirking and twirling your water bottle around "People says that monster flesh is so salty" You saw him vigorously shake his head "I'm not salty! I'm the perfect balance!"

You stuck out your tongue "I don't believe it"

He jumped on his feet, the tail behind his back waving around in protest "I swear!"

With a laugh, you leaned back against the tree and shook your head "Well, unfortunately I won't know since I can't actually ate any of you. My teeth aren't made for that diet, see? They are duller than yours" and pointed at your teeth "So you can stay sure that the only one in danger here is me"

Instantly, things seemed to click in the child's head and he visibly relaxed "Oh" before sitting down on the grass "So you won't eat me?" 

You shook your head.

"Hurt me?"

Again, your head shook "If I wanted to, I would've done so when you were trapped"

He fell silent for a second, then– "Why did you help me?"

You hummed and lifted your gaze to the sky before closing your eyes "It's nice. . .helping other people, even if I'm not always brave enough to offer it, but when I do. . .it fills my chest, make it warm and heavy. People are mean enough on their own, if I can. . .I want to avoid being like them"

The white haired monster opened his mouth, the words failed to come out of his mouth, before he finally managed to utter out a weak "You are a kind human. . ."

To which you just shook your head "I'm just a human" then you pointed your bottle in his direction "My name is ____, what's yours? If we are gonna share a journey I would like to avoid always call you 'Monster child'" which prompted him to raise his shoulders slightly and his to wrap around his torso "Oh! I'm–"

The next words words that came out of his mouth did not sound like words at all and just jumbled noises incomprehensible to you. That must be his name in whatever language monsters speak. . .which of course it would be impossible for you to replicate as. . .well. . .you are just human.

"Afraid I can't pronounce it. Me and my weak human vocal cords" your words prompted a chuckle out of the child and you grinned "What about a nickname?" That seemed to please him as he nodded his head eagerly.

"What about. . ." You muttered under your breath.

"Spaventa?" [¹]

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

Extra:

MC: *Completely traumatized after everything that they went through*

Life: *Yeet a monster child to them like a sniper*

A/N: I always say that I will finally make a note explaining why Livia was a perfect match for Columbina and why MC and Harlequin had such affinity, however I'm always so tired after writing. . .I promise next chapter I will do it!

[¹] The name comes from the character 'Capitan Spaventa' in the Commedia dell'arte. He is a sophisticated and cultured character, not at all presumptuous: rather a poet, a dreamer who struggles to distinguish between fantasy and reality, a sort of Don Quixote of La Mancha.

I do have to ask though: in a hypothetical situation in which MC, during the bathroom confrontation, gave in and decided to go with Jester, how would the Circus cast react/behave? I assume there would be a collective relief, but would that change how they treat MC?

Regardless, please remember to rest and take care of yourself!

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

So, I have to be honest. . .at the start I didn't plan for this whole running away– I mean! I did! But it should've have ended with MC backed to a corner where Jester gave them an impossible choice.

Either come back willingly or Pierrot would've continued killing the people in the town in a sort of crash out– something like that.

The plan was to have MC givin in, guilt about what happened to Livia creeping in– not wanting for more people to lose their lives because of them. Volume 2 should've been centered around MC imprisonment into the Circus and the toxic dynamics with the clowns.

Then I had a vision– scrapped that idea and instead kept the chase plot. And all thanks to a new character coming next chapter 👅

Thank him, because otherwise I had planned far worse for MC.

Coming back to your question. If Jester managed to worn out MC mental strenght enough to be able to crush them between his fingers. . .first of all he would feel extremely smug. That's right, little human, just follow his orders like it should've always been.

As you said, extreme relief but also a lot of tension between the members themselves. They haven't had the 'Share them or not shared them' discussion so I feel like a lot of fighting would break out (especially between Harlequin and Pierrot) where the golden eyed monster would keep you to himself and growl to anyone who would come closer. Though, it could be that you might also get involved in these conflicts– not that you would be much of help. With your spirit crushed you would hardly speak or move– like a doll.

Only after everyone sat down and discussed the situation, an arrangement could be decided.

Restrains (Especially from Jester and Ticket Taker). At least at the start surely– there is no way that they will take the chances and allow you to run away again. Not anymore. Some of them would also become paranoid so it's likely that you will never be alone.

I wouldn't rule out Doctor injecting you with all sort of medication to keep you numb, or your legs paralyzed or straight up to the point that you can't think anymore. He is there is case something goes wrong so the others aren't that worried about him stripping away from you any form of self mobility.

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[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 25: Reorganizing

A/N: Before starting! Thank you so much to Yaritza for the fanarts about Mister Blake and Livia –AH! THEY ARE THE CUTES EVER!!! ( ´∀｀)σ)∀`)

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

You were scared, relieved, hysterical, numb and so many other emotions that you couldn’t even acknowledge that right now you were inside the same vehicle that had been the protagonist of many nightmares hunting your mind. However, in all honesty, you couldn’t focus on the sound of wheels hitting the metal rails and instead only thought about the arm around your shoulders and the smell of dirt and blood all around you. No more anguish cries begging you to come back, no more invasive touches all over your flesh, no more sharp claws digging just below your jugular like you were constantly under threat. No more of that. . .for the moment at least.

“I’m glad to see you still in one piece” Blake was the first to break the hug, taking a step back and offering a gruff smile instead “None of those bastards took a bite out of you, right?” he then added, looking you up and down to make sure that there were no teeth marks anywhere “I’m. . .alive i guess. Can’t say the same about you, though– did you fight a bear?!” you gasped out. While, sure, you weren’t the picture of perfection– looking more like a minefield rather than a human being, Blake himself seemed to have sustained some damage.

“You aren’t that far off” his black hair was a complete mess, small ponytail completely undone and part of them sticking to his right blue eye covering it “He was vicious, I must admit that. They know how to fight and they know how to fight well. The purple grape is also resilient as hell” he gritted his teeth and scoffed “He managed to snap my arm clean off”

And indeed, his left arm was looking pretty limp under his cloak and blood was already slowly dripping down between his fingers and forming a small puddle on the floor “Shit– does it hurt? Maybe there is a medic on board and we should–” your fretting was cut off by a hand resting over your head for a second before ruffling your hair like a little kid and earning muffled protests “We are both pretty messed up, kid. Let’s focus about one thing at the time, you worry too much”

You stared at him in disbelief.

Too much–WORRY TOO MUCH?!

Oh yeah, it’s not like you left him to fight the only monster that has so much hatred for humanity he could very well be hate personification himself.

“I didn’t have anything to fear, not when this little lady came to my rescue” Blake chuckled, looking at Marilyn on his shoulder and scratching beneath her chin with his finger “Climbed over the bathroom window just as that bastard managed to toss my rifle away and broke my arm. Genuinely thought my end was here when I saw a blur of orange and white coming like a missile and landing over his head” a laugh at the memory broke out of him.

“She started hissing and scratching like crazy– not getting off his head no matter how much he trashed around! I think he was cursing in Portuguese, I’m not sure but he was so mad it felt great.” your gaze flickered on your cat, which was already looking back with a smug gaze– proud of finally showing those monsters who was the real boss here. Which of course was her “Then I got my rifle back and shot him in the leg before scooping the lady here and running away.”

Blake chuckled before his gaze softened “I bet everything that you were already on it despite your fears”

At the explanation you uttered a laugh of disbelief “Is it over?” stubborn tears made their way in your eyes yet again and the ebony haired man simply stared at you for a second before finally speaking “I’m not sure, if they are as stubborn as they fight I would probably say no. But. . .I’d say that for now we can take a break” people from inside the carriage looked at you two, whispering to each other with confused expressions– some tempted to call security, others not even bothered and simply kept their heads down. This was a normal occurrence.

“Anyway, how long will it be before we reach Samuel’s college city?” you asked, feeling the adrenaline slowly wearing off and only now starting to process that you are truly inside a train, to which Blake just patted your back “Three hours”

“Three hou–THREE HOURS?!”

.

.

.

.

.

.

For the rest of the time, you spent it curled in a ball sitting against the corner of a carriage while Blake walked back and forth from the bathroom to clean his injuries– at least as much as possible to not trigger the police at the station or being accused of straight up murder. He wasn’t a doctor, but he had his fair share of broken bones therefore building a makeshift cast with what you two had hadn’t been such a huge issue. Blake is simply ticked off than now he is injured.

He washed away the grime from his face before suddenly groaning and doubling over as a headache bloomed– slamming the inside of his forehead “Fuck ass old age. . .don’t do this to me now” he cursed under his breath, briefly stealing a glance in your direction and at the display at the end of the carriage where it was written the next stop– their next stop.

“I better go and wake up ___, once out we have to run off any potential cop” muttering to himself, he dried his face from the water and walked over the sear you were in and shook your shoulder “Kiddo wake up, we are here” he called out, waiting for you to stir and stretch. . .only to earn a meek “I’m already awake. . .” from you who still hadn’t moved nor lifted your face from the corner you platted yourself.

Blake blinked in confusion, looking around before clearing his throat “Okay. . .do you plan to get up anytime soon?” once again, he earned silence followed by your head shaking slowly “Trains are so scary. . .”

Blake sighed deeply at the sight and shook his head “Good lord, I can’t believe it”

■__—ブレイク —__■ [¹]

Samuel is a normal guy, or at least, he likes to think he is. Sure, by someone standard he might have had quite the hard teen years, becoming famous for the disappearance of his mother and having to take care of his father least he wanted to end up with two dead parents (allegedly, he doesn’t know if his mother truly ran away or not)

Either way, Samuel likes to think that, despite everything, things are starting to look upward and soon enough he will finish his studies and find a job, like the good citizen he is.

. . . .

Then, why the fuck is he now looking at his father and ex neighbor standing in front of his door cosplaying WW2 soldiers?

“D-Dad?! ___?! What is going– are you okay?!” he wasn’t expecting a visit from his father who lives three hours away by train and he expected even less for him to be accompanied by his neighbor “I will live, Sam. . .” was everything Blake said before making his way inside the modest apartment while helping you not fall down “Can we take a shower?” 

Samuel stared at you two with a baffled look–only to snap out of it immediately after “You are injured dad! Your goddamn arm shouldn't be bent like that–! Let me check it, oh my GOD!” useless to say but the next hour had been a complete mess. 

You finally took a bath and cleaned yourself raw, not wanting any remainder of them. Each hand print left on your skin, each scratch made with their claws– everything! You scrubbed everything raw, and dunked yourself in five different shampoos to cancel any scent or whatever the heck they might have left on you. Meanwhile Samuel was running around trying to play doctor and fix his dear father's arm “What the hell, what the hell!? I’m studying medicine yea. . .bu medicine for animals– I’m gonna be a veterinarian not a doctor!?”

At the end of that hellish hour, you three were sitting on his couch just staring ahead to a turned off TV– most likely just processing whatever hell you crawled out of.

. . .

“So. . .” Samuel started slowly, pushing himself forward and placing his elbows over his knees; he laced his fingers together brought his hands over his mouth before changing idea and letting them dangling “Am I allowed to have an explanation or. . .” the question hung in the air like a bomb ready to detonate. And, just like a switch, the air suddenly got tense and heavy followed by a knot forming inside your throat– hard to swallow but hard to push forward too. After all, how do you start explaining to someone what you just lived through?

Should you lie? Would telling him the truth put him in danger too. Are YOU out of danger? Will you ever be out of danger from now on?

Would it be cruel to burden him with the knowledge of what happened to Livia? Would it be more merciful if you told him a kinder version?

. . .

“Samuel. . .” you started, your heart begging you to not relive that nightmare again– not so soon. But you knew that if you waited more you will lose courage and never speak again “What. . .What I’m about to tell you. . .you have to believe me as it pains me to say that it is the truth no matter how unbelievable it might seem. And– And I want to say how sorry I am–”

“Kiddo you don’t have to say it” Blake cut you off sending what seemed a sharp glare but really, it was simply one filled with worry “I can do it, you already went through enough–”

“But it has to be me!” and now it was you cutting him off so suddenly that it surprised him and prompted Marilyn to open her eye briefly to look at you. Noticing the outburst you looked away, awkwardly coughing out the nervousness and trying your best to remain calm and composed “Sorry. . .for shouting. But I need to speak while I still can, while my voice still allows me and doesn’t remain stuck in my throat. Plus. . .it all started with me. The least I can do is warn others with my experience. . .”

Warn. . .warn what? About any circus because psychopath clowns could be hiding behind masks? Perhaps is simply wishful thinking, not wanting to admit that you and Livia were doomed from the start because–fuck! 

You really couldn’t have done anything at that point to save her. And hate not being able to do something.

“____. . .” Samuel called your name softly, his brows furrowed with concern and apprehension while trying to grasp and understand what was happening “You are scaring me. . .please just tell me what happened, I don’t like not knowing things” he pleaded, grabbing your hands in his and looking at you with those soft eyes of his “I’m worried about you and dad, I-I don’t like seeing you hurt. . .what’s going on?”

You looked at his hands holding yours and took a deep breath “Sam. . .” your mouth tasted like blood “Livia is dead”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Samuel stared at you and Blake with wide horrified eyes as you finished recounting all the events that happened in the last days. His fingers felt numb, like his tongue and lips as he tried to find the strength to speak through all the information his brain had to process “A-Ah. . .” a blonde strand of hair fell in front of his face, tears quickly building in his eyes “L-Livia. . .she–. . .gh–!” he bit back what seemed to be a sob “Mom and Livia. . .” he repeated before suddenly standing up with a yerk “I-I’m sorry-” and rushed out of the living room with his head down, in the direction of his bathroom.

You felt like shit.

Watching him run away, trying to hide his tears– you always knew that Samuel was soft at heart. Perhaps you shouldn’t have been so selfish and told him a small lie instead. . .

“Don’t look like that, it’s not easy for anyone to hear something like that” Blake tried to comfort you, patting your healthy shoulder “Especially when he had something for Lilli. . .he is probably regretting never having the courage to confess” you felt even more shitty, your theory of being the wrong survivor intensifying each second that went by which was immediately noticed by the ebony haired man “Don’t you dare blame yourself, alright? Remember, don’t be stuck in the past and look at the future”

Then he stood up, petting Marilyn as he walked past you “I’m gonna go and check on him, you stay here and rest. Eat something, drink and watch TV but don’t stay still doing nothing. That’s the worst when you are grieving” and just like that, he also disappeared from the living room following the muffled sobs leading to the bathroom.

You stared at the turned off TV for a couple more seconds and then loudly groaned before laying down on the couch and covering your face with your hands. You are so miserableeeee. When is this sense of guilt ever gonna go away?!

“Oof!” something heavy fell over your chest, followed by a long soft tail slamming over your face and making your eyes twitch “Oi. . .” you huffed, looking at the cat giving you her shoulder through your fingers “You are heavy Marilyn. . .get off” the calico, however, swung her tail over your face once again and shot you a look over her shoulders before turning around (making sure to put all her weight on the paw directly over your sternum) before nuzzling her head against yours.

“Mar–pft!- Marilyn! You are filling my mouth with your fur! Quit it!” your protests were ignored as she kept purring and snuggling, making biscuits with her paws. It must have been ridiculous to watch as a grown ass adult that survived monsters was being overpowered by a mere cat. Insane, your life is insane.

“Alright, understood, you want treats” you chuckled, finally cupping her under the armpits and pushing the calico away who just meowed again “Stupid cat. . .” you murmured affectionately and looked at her before noticing something weird reflected in her eyes leaning closer with furrowed eyebrows “Mh? Were they always this–” 

“Kiddo” Blake reappeared inside the living room, Samuel closely behind him with red eyes “Now that everyone is informed we have to talk about something important” Marilyn wiggled out of your grasp and instead jumped over the headrest of the couch once again, making herself comfortable. Samuel shot you a brief look before shifting his eyes away “I’m. . .sorry for the scene I made”

You just shook your head and hummed “It’s fine, I don’t blame you. Heavy stuff and all. . .”

“Speaking of heavy stuff” Blake walked over the chair opposite to the couch “I know that we are all tired and I know you all just want to close your eyes, forget everything and sleep. . .however it’s in these moments that we shouldn’t let our guard down” his son sat by your side, latching his finger together “I can’t believe that monsters exist. . .” he muttered, mainly to himself.

“And not any normal monsters” his father added, pointing his finger at him “I could have not given a shit if they existed, however these bastards kill without a second thought and for the sound of it they meticulously choose people who are struggling or that won’t be noticed if missing. The weakest of the weakest. They are cowards” following his words you simply hummed and crossed your arms “Either way what now? Do we stay low? Change our documents?”

“Maybe you should call the police? There is surely gonna be an investigation on all the people that went missing and they will provide you with protection” Samuel tried to suggest.

“No, no and no. We won’t do anything like that” Blake shook his head at all the suggestion “You are gonna run away” he then settled, pointing his finger at you who blinked a couple of times in confusion before shouting a loud ‘HUH?’ and leaned forward “Run away? Again?! I just finished running away like five minutes ago. Can’t I. . .I dunno. . .stay hidden somewhere? Even if they come searching for me, if they can’t find me here they will be forced to go away. . .I’m sure they will eventually get tired”

Above you, Marinlyn growled, softly laying her tail over your face.

“They are animals, or at least they act like one but ten times smarter. Plus they are horrendously stubborn. Think about it. . .” Blake pointed out, tilting his head to the side “You know too much, you know much more than us– therefore they will be hell bent on finding and killing you no matter what it takes. You are the biggest liability to them” 

Samuel hummed, taking hold of his chin and looking to the ground with furrowed eyebrows “There are multiple animals who take days following their prey until it falls down exhausted before punching. . .once they get their eyes on you it’s impossible to lose. Their behaviors with you remind me of this. . .maybe they also hunt by stalking and lingering. If they are sure you are here, they won’t leave you alone till you are dead”

At those words you grimaced and Marilyn looked at the blonde man.

“Plus. . .is it only me or most of them exhibit mating rituals?” he then added, prompting you and Blake to grimace in disgust “Pretty sure you have studied too much because I’m pretty sure that killing and eating one's partner isn’t exactly ‘mating’ ritual. Almost died more times than I can count” your reply earned a flurry of apologies from Samuel who quickly shook his head “No, no, no, no–I mean! From how you described to me– and keeping in mind that they behave mainly like animals– exchanging gifts. . .taking care of each other's wounds. . .stepping in to protect the other. . .trying to bite you– especially in the neck–. . .well, that sound a lot like they were courting you”

You just stared at him with your mouth agape and completely baffled “Just kill me already” then you slammed your head on the couch pillows and just screamed your lungs out. What a goddamn bullshit! You have to deal with psychopath killer clowns who are trying to woo you?!

“A-Ah! But I might be wrong– I–!” Samuel tried to reassure you, awkwardly hovering near you, only to earn a glare from the cat beside him followed by a hiss that made him awkwardly back off.

“One more motive to get the hell away from this country” Blake settled, taking out a crumpled piece of paper “Out of the country?” you echoed in confusion and made your way closer as he opened what you recognized to be your country map “Exactly” the ebony haired man nodded, his finger trailing from the city you were in and away, away till it reached the border “You are going to reach the border, you are going to leave all together and go somewhere far”

Marilyn kept her ear up, listening to the conversation.

You looked at him like he was crazy– scratch that. He definitely was “You are out of your mind. . .”

Blake instead shook his head instead “It’s your only choice really. You think that you have lost them but until you are inside this country you will never stray away from their claws–even now you are just a breath away. Sure you have taken the train, but how long will it take for them to check each city it stops at before stumbling into this one? How good are they to track down your blood, sweat or scent? Those are first and foremost predators. They know how to hunt what they want. And they want you”

The words made you shift uncomfortably.

“If instead you reach the border and get inside another country, then get the plane, ship, whatever you prefer and reach a continent opposite. . .only then tracking you down will be completely impossible. Only then your chance of survival will multiply”

Reach the border. . .you have to reach the border. . .and leave the country. . .you have to leave everything behind? Granted that you literally have nothing but still. This country was something familiar to you. . .entering into another one. . .somewhere you aren’t familiar with and completely different? It’s scary. . .it’s really, really scary to think about.

“Kiddo. . .” Blake placed his hand over your shoulder, prompting your gaze to meet his, noting Samuel by his side smiled softly at you “I know that this is scary. . .what you had to go through was scary and what you will have to face will be equally so. However this is not forever. . .they won’t hunt you down for eternity. They are animals at the end of the day. They will always prioritize survival and if following you becomes dangerous they will give up. Just hang a little longer, okay? You will soon sleep peacefully” he squeezed your shoulder at the end making you nod and hide your gaze away from them.

“We will go as soon as possible” he said, before immediately being interrupted by his son “You can’t go with them– none of us can. Dad, your arm is broken– it will only be a liability. And the more people there are, the harder it is to hide your tracks”

“Tracks?” you lifted an eyebrow.

“You don’t think that you can reach the border with a vehicle, right? Sure, they are animals but at the same time they are extremely intelligent. If you take the train again, they will just follow the train tracks. If you use the car, it will be easily identified since it’s in my name. Bus, it’s the same” Samuel listed with his fingers and you could feel dread pooling at the base of your stomach.

“Your only option is on foot”

■__—サムエル—__■[²]

. . .

Pierrot stared at the woods in front of him, golden eyes wide, pupils shrunk into pin pricks shaking like crazy, expression blank, horns that still had to retract. He doesn’t know exactly how he is feeling. It’s like there were at least thousands of different emotions and thoughts clashing with each other– in the same way he feels whenever he was near you– but no. This kind of chaos was different– it hurt, but not the good kind of way– it hurt so much all he wanted to do was weep or maybe tearing his claws through his flesh till it reached his heart and squeezed it to stop suffering like this.

You were gone. . .

He were so close, one second he swore he had touched you– then other and you are no longer in his field of view and instead getting far and far away from him. From his embrace. From your place rightfully between his arms. 

He doesn’t remember much after that, only bits and pieces confused, however next thing he knew– he and the rest of his family were inside a villa Harlequin found, their disguises shed as no human would venture this far and even if they did. . .yeah. The Circus supplies and tents were left in a parking lot with the fools keeping an eye on them.

“They. . .They are gone?” Columbina's soft voice murmured, her shoulder high and closed on her body as she looked to the side with sadness in her eyes. Sure, she knew that you came to find the truth in quite the harsh way but running away like that without letting them explain? Humans are truly such a fragile species, so skittish of everything. Like a little kitten– make a sudden loud sound and it scurry away from you.

Doctor said nothing, standing close to her while looking through his notes about you– like reading and re-reading every single detail about you would unlock the secret den you hidden into.

Pierrot golden eyes abruptly snapped over Harlequin, who until now stood in the corner of the room cowering like a wounded animal and staring at the bandaged tentacle that you cut before freeing yourself. How cruel. . .to tear away from him the last piece that touched you. How truly cruel of you. So cruel it makes Harlequin want to do the same with one of your arms or legs.

“You. . .” Pierrot growled before suddenly lunging at him and grabbing the front of his shirt “You let them get away! You scared them into hurting themself! Were you trying to kill them?! Dangling my dear from such height” he snarled when the green eyed monster, instead of recoiling, got closer to him and bared his sharp teeth back, tentacles wrapping around Pierrot’s arms to push him back or maybe tearing them from his body.

Columbina gasped, her and Doctor quickly running to separate the two of them.

“My fault? My goddamn fault?! Of course it’s my fault! It’s always my fault for you! It’s my fault even if you were the idiot that revealed everything and let them escape the first time, uh?!” his sharp claws tried to cut the silver haired chest, as he in exchange tried to bite the ebony haired man face off “If you weren’t such a lovesick puppy who only needs to flutter your eyelashes or cry to have everything you wanted then maybe, instead of wasting time begging and sobbing for them to come back, you would have caught ____ before they could have got inside the train!”

“Why you–!” Pierrot growled, feeling Doctor’s arms wrap around his owns and drag him back as Columbina made sure Harlequin would not go back at the attack but no, the green monster just laughed like a crazy man “You boast and gloat about them loving you but have they ever saw you without your costume, saw your monstrous form and come toward you and instead of running away?!” he instigated further, earning a downright murderous glare.

“Harley, Pierrot, stop it. You are not helping anyone by fighting!” Columbina tried to find a common ground, shooting nervous glances at the door in hopes for Ticket Taker or Jester to come in help.

“Is that so? I seem to remember them always coming in search of me any time they were in need of support, you are nothing but temporary fun to them” Pierrot, despite not being the best with come back, still managed to anger Harlequin, who growled.

“Is that jealousy speaking? Wasn’t green my color?”

“Why don’t you get close so I can remind you why red is mine?”

“Enough” 

A cold, stern voice interrupted the fight, making everyone turn their head to the entrance where Ticket Taker stood with his arms crossed before stepping aside and letting Jester walk inside– all the gunshot wounds he sustained were already slowly healing themselves.

The purple haired man looked around the room for a second before placing his arms behind his back and puffing his chest slightly, his right hand right beside him while muttering about all the disorder happening "Look how a human reduced you, putting one against the other" he noted, earning a distraught cry from Pierrot "Bil! Jester! We can't– we need to find them please–!"

"This is exactly why they managed to run away" Jester cut him off, the statement followed by different grimaces "A human, a miserable lone human. . .they escaped–I don't doubt your hunting abilities, none of yours. However, despite my reclutance, I have to admit that some of them possess strong survival instincts. This little mouse is not out of that circle"

He brought his hands out, lifting a golden button he managed to steal from your satchel when you were distracted. He twirled it between his fingers, looking at his own reflection "We knew them but in exchange they also knew us. And our small rivalry between each other made it possible for them to exploit it and slip away"

Harlequin scoffed "What? You are proposing of collaborating together? Be a small happy group, holding hands and skip toward the sunset?

Jester stared at him with an empty smile "Exactly. Help each other. Do a coordinated hunt. One lure them toward the trap and the other catch them. Much better instead of this challenge you have between eachother."

"Wait" Columbina piped in, tilting her head to the side "You are suggesting that we could then. . .share them?" Immediately the words made both Harlequin and Pierrot let out growls of disagreement. They were monsters and monsters are quite possessive of everything– sharing. . .only few of them ever did that–and sharing a darling? Even less.

"I won't watch my family tear each other apart for a human so yes, we all will share it if it gets to calm you down" Jester answered her question, promoting a raised eyebrow from Ticket Taker "We?" his heterochromatic eyes watch a slow grin made its way on the ringmaster lips "What? And be the only one out? I like to participate in family activity, dear Bil."

Pierrot seemed to snap out of his frustration as he finally process the words "Wait! So you are saying that– are you allowing me to keep my dear?!" Harlequin scoffed and Doctor hummed "First we have to take them back though, which could be hard with the Circus"

At that Jester's smile widened "Worry not my dears" and his purple eyes glowed "For I managed to get a little spy with them" 

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

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[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 24: Train to heaven

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

Harlequin’s eyes watched the blood slowly tickling down the old wooden table, green pupils unfocused enough to make everything around blurry and confused. He didn't even acknowledge the corpse over the forniture– if someone could still call it that– his head detached, probably rolled off under the table somewhere, and the rest of the body sprawled over the top with his clothes shredded and the flesh even worse.

Harlequin did not move, sitting on the chair at the head of the table, claws crossed together, red, soaked in blood– his tentacles limp all around, not paying attention to where they would wrap around. He is supposed to be happy, to feel relief upon being finally free from his torture– his personal hell– he dreamed of this moment during all his imprisonment stay!

Yet all he could now was staring blankly at the buffet he and his family just had, for the first time in a long while being full, his stomach no longer chewing its walls for something to satiate itself with. Despite that, he felt even more empty.

What had to go down for this to happen. . .what had to go down for them to finally be free. . .

What he had to do. . .

It changed everyone, it changed Harlequin more than he let on, more than he let the others know. It had to happen. . .the ebony haired monster would repeat to himself. . .it had to happen, he didn't have a choice– all of them would have died– the humans would have taken Columbina away and done who knows what. Placed her under who knows what torture.

This was an act of mercy. He simply had taken the better path. Yes. Mercy. He gave her mercy– a painless death– this world was too cruel for her anyway. An act of mercy. An act of mercy. Mercy. Mercy. Mercymercymercymer—

"No one escaped"

Popping his head inside the main hall, Jester let his purple eyes sweep over the massacre scattered all over before shifting his attention on Harlequin, still sitting in the same position that he left him in. Still looking dead despite all the words and taunt that he previously uttered out. At the sight, Jester sighed and allowed his shoulders to soften ever so slightly.

He made his way closer to the green eyed monster and placed a clawed hand over his shoulder "It's over. . .it's finally over. They won’t hurt us anymore. And we won’t let them anymore" his slender fingers squeezed the scales one more time "However we need to decide what to do now, take the best course of action and make sure that the humans won't come to know about what happened to the traveling Circus. For that we also need your presence. I'm gonna host a meeting"

Harlequin heard the older monster's words but it was like he wasn’t listening to them, offering a nod before catching himself and scoff loudly– harshly pushing the severed limb down the table with his tentacle "Finally, I was starting to think that you guys would have never stopped crying to yourself. All you have done was walking around the same place we already know too well"

Jester sighed, shaking his head and finally releasing his hold on the other monster "We had to make sure that no human was left. . .alive that's it. Either way, have you seen ★★★★? ♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎ and ¤¤¤¤¤ are gonna be here shortly and he is the only one missing" once again, Harlequin scoffed and lifted his legs to comfortably lean them over the table without a care in the world. [¹]

"★★★★? He is probably back at the cages, sobbing like a baby and mourning his sweet angel. You know him, all he does is cry and cry and cry– act pitiful and pathetic. Try there or just follow the sound of choking wept" he pushed himself back a little, dangling on the back legs of the chair as Jester gave him a look hard to decipher– but he is always hard to decipher so it's nothing new "♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎. . ." [²]

Just then the flap of the main tent slammed open, followed by a loud rustling and an even louder voice "◆◆◆◆! ◆◆◆◆ look!" Pierrot rushed inside, his cheeks still dug by tears while more were already threatening to fall down from the corner of his golden eyes. He looked initially panicked, like he discovered something that could put all of them in further danger.[³]

Which is why Jester immediately tensed, claws digging in the soft wood and heart spiking up "What's going on ★★★★? Are the others okay? Has someone discovered you? Are you hurt?" However, Pierrot ignored his worries and instead lifted the object he held between his bloodied claws, grinning in a way that could only be described as desperation or delusion "L-Look ◆◆◆◆. . .look what I found– we can't bring her back! We can–" he bit back a sob.

Harlequin tensed at the mention of the female, green eyes looking anywhere but at the way that Pierrot’s tears once again flowed down, mixing with the blood soaking his face "Look!" The golden eyed monster pushed a book with the cover of a beautiful maroon closer to Jester’s face, who took a step back in surprise "★★★–"

"Look at what the humans have! A way! There is a way to bring her back– just look! Please–" Pierrot urged once again, with so much frenzy yet excitement everyone could hear his heart beating so quickly and loudly– it was insane. He was acting insane. But again, could they really blame him? After what he had to go through, after everything? When the next day the ‘Man’ came back to their cages, Pierrot had been the first one to spring into action despite the injury he still had. . .no one could stop him in that state.

No one wanted to stop him.

“This book! This book– please look! It says that we can bring her back!” the hold on the book shook, multiple times almost slipping whenever Pierrot would cut himself to gasp or sob or not choke himself with tears. Jester tried to calm him down, holding his shoulders, wiping away the tears before finally tearing away the book from his grasp and place it over the table, right in the vision field of a certain green eyed monster “Hey ★★★★ breathe please, I can’t understand what you are saying. . .”

Harlequin let his gaze linger on the book that his childhood friend just entered sobbing about, seeing the bold letters on the cover spell ‘GRIMOIRE’ and bit the inside of his cheek, narrowing his eyes and looking away– not offering a taunt nor a word. All this crying it’s spoiling his usual mood. . .

“A ritual. . .” Pierrot muttered out, sliding to his knees and hugging Jester’s legs “We can do a ritual. . .a-and bring her back. . .we can. The book says that we can. . .We just need a human! A-And she will be back! We can be together once again– please!” Pierrot’s grip tightened, his eyes quickly filling with tears once again while looking at the younger monsters, begging to be heard “Please Jester! I need her to come back–! We all need her to come back! I beg of you!” [⁴]

Harlequin scoffed, making himself smaller and crossing his arms to block out Pierrot’s voice. She is dead. . .he ate her flesh. . .what happened, happened– you can’t bring someone back from dead– you–. . .she is gone. . .

Jester looked at the book, opening the book and slowly leafing through it while eyeing the titles.

His purple eyes snapped over Pierrot. . .poor, poor, sad Pierrot. His claws moved to take hold of his face and move it so that his golden gaze could be on him “Oh ★★★★. . .my dear ★★★★. . .You shouldn’t trust what you find of humans. . .”

Pierrot eyes widen in horror, not wishing for his small hope to extinguish “But—”

Jester’s eyes glowed, cutting him off “However. . .” he spoke with a cold tone, with that same cold tone he always uses whenever he has to take charge “A human took her away from us. . .that means it’s only fair if we use a human to get our angel back”

Harlequin watched as Pierrot thanked Jester, feeling his lungs squeeze painfully and biting his tongue from spitting out some mean remark– instead he narrowed his green eyes over the purple monster, conflicted with what he might have planned. . .

■__—ハルクエン–__■ 

“Jester. . .”

Your heart hammered in your chest like a wild animal, the urge to scream out in frustration and punch the ground being the only thing that stopped you from fully curling on yourself and cry. You are soooooo tired! Why can’t things be easy for once in your stupid life!

“Harley. . .” you breathe out, taking a step back “Let’s talk. . .” his green eyes were pinned on you and, no matter how much you were trying to convince yourself, they still managed to keep you pretty much frozen in your place. If he was anything like Pierrot. . .then running would be useless. . .what to do? What to do? Should you take up time, hoping that the train will soon stop in this station and that Blake manages to deal with Jester so that he could save you. . .or do you try your luck and give chase?

Dealing with Pierrot would’ve been better. . you knew what to say to maybe get out. . .but Harlequin? Sure, you two had your moments, but he was by far someone too unpredictable for you to have a chance. . .but. . .but. . .

Could it really be that nothing you two went through meant anything to him?

“I’m not a guy of words, you know? Afraid that won’t be possible” he replied, taking a step closer which you immediately mirrored and felt your heart jump to your throat, memories of the ways he treated the fools and the way he tried to eat you flashed back in your head– prompting a grimace to appear on your features. . .grimace that was immediately noticed by the ebony haired man as he suddenly went still.

“Why are you looking at me like that. . .” he chuckled out yet it sounded more like a disbelieved gasp, like he was confused or in denial by such action from you “Why. . .ahahah. . .why are you looking at me with such hatred. . .ahhh. . .you are looking at me just like them” the way he kept laughing, taking a step back to stop himself from swaying while he ran his claws through the ebony curls– one of the tentacles slammed against the wall so hard it rose a cloud of dust and left an indent.

 “Harlequin. . .” you tried again, taking another step back “Yea?” he drawled and beneath his black mask you could clearly hear that he was smiling or grinning not in the typical Harlequin teasing way–no. . .no this was different. “I like it when you say my name all breathless” He was different– like even he lost it badly. Like he came to a conclusion that completely flipped his view of the world and now was seeing it in a different light all together 

“Who else is here?” you decided to buy as much time as you could and then run to the train, to Blake– to anything!

“Mmmmh?” he tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes in amusement before chuckling “Worried about someone interrupting us? That old dog with you seems pretty busy with Jester” he threw a glance back, yet before you could move his eyes snapped back on you once again “Lucky for you, someone had to stay back at the Circus to deal with annoying merchants. . .”

Ticket Taker.

“Someone is still not used to her new body”

Columbina.

“And someone doesn’t like leaving the Circus grounds”

Doctor.

. . .

That means that Pierrot is also out searching for you, he doesn’t seem to be anywhere near however by now he might be already informed of your location and is making his way here. Which means that you can’t actually buy yourself time standing still like a fool– and this is why Harley is so. . .no, calm isn’t the right word– not when he is laughing like a lunatic. However he is certainly not in a hurry to get you.

“You know something funny?” the ebony haired man chuckled under his breath, slowly making his way closer and closer “I tried!” he opened his arms and tilted his head to the side, the black mask slipping off to reveal a sick grin “I really tried to do it right this time! I really did it like I was supposed to do– like it was meant to be. I followed all these stupid rules, I held back–me! Can you believe it?! Me! I honestly tried to do it the right way–!” he rambled off, disbelieved laughs cutting between the words like he himself could not believe it.

“This time I did everything it was asked. . .and still it’s not enough? Will it end in the same way?!” he placed a hand over his forehead, claws digging in his scalp, looking completely disheveled and at his wits end “What the hell am I supposed to do then? Oh. . .am I cursed? Is it the poison in my veins? Is everything that I touch cursed to whiter away? To slip past my fingers– why can’t I have anything?”

He went on and on with his muttering and ramblings, words pouring out so fast that you couldn’t follow them– it was like he was spiraling into another breakdown, in the same style you have found him when he was panicking and going insane about Columbina come back “Foolish of me to believe that this sickly sweet approach could work for me. . .I tried it once and it didn’t work– oh but now it’s different– now I’m no longer willing to lose it again, no. . .so tell me. Why are you looking at me with so much hatred in your eyes? Why are you looking at me with his same eyes?”

The real question should be, why is he looking at you with such deranged eyes?!

Ohhhhh he lost it, maybe even worse than Pierrot–!

“You guys killed Livia–how exactly am I supposed to react?” you gritted your teeth together, digging your nails inside the palm of your hand “You think that I wanted that? Ah-HA! I could have been careless about your little friend– why am I supposed to be punished for something the others did? For once that it wasn’t my fault– for once that I was innocent!” he argued back.

“You tried to eat me, damn it!” yet you also did not back down, trying to find a small opening to exploit and have a small advantage of time. Harlequin stood still for a second and then laughed again “Oh. . .so it was really you. . .I knew it. That heart was so familiar– yet you smelled so much of death that I thought it couldn’t possibly be– why would you even be with the fools after all?” he dragged a claw down his face, yet did not even attempt to justify himself and instead went back to spiral “I was going to eat you. . .ahahah. . .I can’t believe it. . .isn’t it ironic? I ate Columbina and now I was about to eat you– how fucking ironic!”

In the distance, a robotic voice broke through the air sharply [“The train 123976 is arriving at the rail 1 in five minutes. Please stand behind the yellow line”]

Your train. . .your train will be here in five minutes. . .and still no sight of Pierrot.

Just a little longer. . .just a tiny more, two minutes. . .you just need two minutes to keep Harley distracted and then gather all your strength to run and hope that the little fucker won’t try to follow you inside the train full of people. They can’t, no matter how much they wish to catch you, they can’t be seen by humans– that’s gonna be your only advantage!

“S-So Harle–”

“I’m tired” the ebony haired man cuts you off, making your blood go cold with the sudden switch up in tone– more cold, lacking the amused or mocking bite. You watched as his extra limbs stood up behind him, surely indicating that he was about to do something, something that you won’t like “Just let me go Harley. . .you also know that this is insane. . .” you meekly fought back, reading yourself for anything feeling the combat knife resting on the satchel against your hip.

“Insane. . .” Harley repeated, slowly allowing the grin back to his face “You chose me. . .you, ahahah, you chose me–! You can’t just—! You can’t say that and then run away! You just can’t!” another tentacle slammed against the wall, prompting the electronic train display board to detach and fall down with a loud *CRASH!*-- he was about to act, you could feel it “Ahhhhh, I understand. . .I’m done playing nice. I’m done doing the right thing. . .” his vibrant green eyes snapped back over you, making you flinch.

“We are gonna play the game following my rules now”

You didn’t wait more than the first word before turning around and sprinting away, hearing a pair of boots giving chase almost immediately after. Round two of the chase however this time you knew what to expect more or less– this time it was bright outside– this time you had a plan!

A plan that completely relies on pure luck that’s it, but you have the feeling that all you can rely on is fate and that your courage will be rewarded appropriately. You know that Harlequin, unlike Pierrot, likes to play with his victim. . .with his food. You could gather as much from his playful personality and with the way he treated you before almost eating your arm. He played around, he mocked, he taunted– he was literally licking your blood and pushing fools around. This will be his doom!

“Where are you going? Ahah! You know right that I can’t refuse a juicy chase” you heard him laugh behind, not even hurrying to try and catch you– like this was all a game, like he was so sure that you would lose– that there is nowhere to hide and escape– not this time “And the catch is always more tasty after it” he sing sang, voice echoing all around.

You ignored him, turning a corner and running up the stairs, flight of stairs after flight of stairs– no matter how fast you were, he was always a step behind– you could feel his claws mere inches from your back, his tentacles sneaking around your feet and legs.

You burst open the old door leading to the roof. It wasn’t a tall building, just two stories with bushes all around its perimeter. . .yes. . .you had worse. . .yes. . .

“End of the chase” soon enough, Harlequin appeared at the entrance of the stairs– a sick, sharp grin on his face as he tilted his head to the side “Delicious, we should do this more often. Don’t you feel it? This exciting shiver running down your spine? Eating your lungs? I should have done this much earlier” gone was any trace of possible vulnerability that he showed– the threat of you running away, leaving him alone, made him open his eyes and crumble anything left.

He won’t let you. No way. Not anymore. He deserves happiness too.

“Good thing that we will have all the time in the world” he slowly approached you, like a predator would do, with the green tentacles slithering at his feet. You mirrored his movements, walking closer and closer to the edge of the building. The blood rushing in your veins so quick and warm you thought your heart was about to exhaust itself from too much work “Harle–Ah?!”

The words weren’t able to leave your tongue before one of his extra limbs shot forward, wrapping around your leg and lifting you high in the air, dangling your upside body over the edge of the building as a sort of taunt. His features twisted in a mocking smile, cooing and chucking at your uncomfortable expression and the fear etched in your eyes “Aww, don’t look like that my sweet little partner in crime. You have lost. I’m just showing you what happens to those who lose to my games. Do you really think that I would let you go?”

The sound of the train arriving filled the empty silence and for a second you didn’t say anything, eyes looking at the beautiful bushes of magenta and light purple lilac flowers.[⁵] before taking a quiet deep breath and smiled. A sad smile. Confusing Harlequin more than anything else as he just stared at you.

“I thought about it for a long time, you know. . .” your hand went to the small satchel still tightly attached to your hip “Maybe in another universe we all would have been happy together”

Harlequin’s green eyes widened slightly, his mouth opening “Wha–”

However, before he could speak, you took out the combat knife and in a swift motion you cut off the tentacle dangling you into the void, prompting the ebony haired man to grunt on pain before he could process that you were falling down and try to grab your hand, missing it by mere inches. You felt the wind harshly slam against your body, clothes and hair flapping all around before you made contact with the bushes full of lilacs. 

It was a hard impact, but never as hard as it could have been if you fell onto the ground.

Groaning, your body protested when you tried to roll out of the bush but you forced yourself as the sound of loud footsteps were quickly closing by. It couldn’t be Harlequin as he was still on top of the roof and these ones were on the ground. Could it be Jester? Would he really be the type to come and charge after you?

. . .

It was Pierrot.

You bit your tongue as your whole body ached and cried in pain, the urge to cry or gasp and freeze out of fear was quickly overwhelming you– instead you ignored it. You ignored everything, you ignored the footsteps coming closer and closer and closer, you ignored the pain– your only focus being the open door of the train.

*STEP!* *STEP!*

It’s so close! It’s just– there!

*STEP!* *STEP!*

After everything! Just a little bit more!

*STEP!* *STEP!*

You won’t make it.

It’s too far away– Pierrot is too fast– your legs are begging you to just give up– if you aren’t quicker the door will close–! The train will go without you–! IF YOU–

Two hands rested on your back and the smell of lilies hit your nose as everything seemed to still, your own heart, the wind, the steps behind, the train. It felt like you were being hugged, a warm hug, enveloping you from behind. Then–

You were pushed forward, harshly, which sent you flying right inside the open door. You fell on the cold floor of the train, rolling before slamming your back against the surface of the door on the other side. Around you, people gasped at your sudden entrance, abruptly standing up and looking at you like an alien. You didn’t pay them any mind, coughing, sniffling and pushing yourself to your knees, confused, dizzy, wondering what just happened.

Without thinking, you stood to your feet and staggered toward the closed door, placing your hands against the glass and looked out before a sob choked out of your throat at the sight of a pair of deep blue eyes. Standing just outside, hands over yours on the glass, a sad warm smile on her face, stood Livia– your Livia. Looking exactly like you last saw her.

Tears filled your vision, legs feeling weak, fingers curling  “I-I’m sorry” you choked out, placing your forehead against the glass “I’m so sorry Lilli, it’s all my fault. I’m sorry” through your blurred vision you saw her also lean her forehead against the glass still smiling at you, not blaming you for anything “Goodbye” she mouthed and you shook your head “No–!”

*SLAM!!*

Something slammed against the door, making you immediately back off and fall on your ass. You lifted your gaze only to see Pierrot where once was Livia, slamming his fists against the glass, looking desperately down at you, begging for you to not leave him, his monster's features peeking out as you could see his horns tearing his hood. People screamed in terror, standing up and running toward other carriages. The door was miraculously holding.

You were stuck looking at the silver haired man with wide eyes– body too tired to move.

The train started moving and Pierrot started looking panicked, down right spiraling as the speed started picking up and he couldn’t keep up with it– until his figure disappeared and all you could hear were his anguish screams of agony echoing in your ears and mind till those too slowly faded away.

. . .

You. . .you did it?

You. . .you. . .oh god. . .

Did you. . .did you really escape them?

“____! Kiddo!”

A familiar voice called your name and an older male came bursting from the carriage beside the one you entered, his left arm limp and bloody beside him, a calico cat over his shoulder. He looked at you with his wide blue eyes, you looked at him barely managing to stop yourself from screaming in relief.

With the last strength in your body, you pushed yourself on your feet and you two ran to each other before you wrapped your arms around him and he did the same with his healthy arm over your shoulder.

You, Blake and Marilyn managed to get on the train.

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

A/N: Is it obvious that I love writing about crazy ass men? Writing about Harlequin losing his mind had been the highlight of my day. And you escaped!! Yippie!! For the moment at least.

ALSO YIPPIE WE CAUGHT UP WITH QUOTEV FINALLY!!!!!

I'm actually surprised with how many people came to love Mister Blake, Livia and all the other in the cast! I'm actually so happy as it means I did a good job ヽ(´∀｀ヽ)

That means that I can share my sketches of them with you guys. And also this meme I made of Mister Blake tired of the clows bullshits with his not blood-related nephew MC.

If you guys have fanarts or memes you want to share you can do it in this email: [email protected] 

[¹] ★★★★ =Pierrot ♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎ =Ticket Taker ¤¤¤¤ =Doctor [²] ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ =Harlequin [³] ◆◆◆◆ =Jester [⁴] The last phrase is the same phrase that Jester hallucinated back in the chapter ‘And they lived happily ever after’ [⁵] Magenta lilacs are associated with passion, love and the sheer thrill of being alive, especially after surviving a harrowing experience.  Light purple lilacs are associated with one’s first love or the first time one feels love for someone.  These two colors in particular represent MC surviving this whole ordeal and running away but also that they considered Harley and Pierrot as somewhat a first love to them and are mourning this lost possible relationship. 

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[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 23: "We are everything you have left"

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

“Do you think that it will work out?”

You stared at the fake documents in your hands, together with a good amount of cash held together by a rubber band. It was kinda weird that Mister Blake had an ‘emergency plan’ with both yours and Livia copy of fake documents and money in case you two had to leave the town in a dire situation. He said that Livia helped him with the preparation and that explained why you couldn’t find your ID that time.

. . .

Monsters exist and just turned your best friend into their dead companion, having your documents copied by a paranoid neighbor is the last of your problems. 

“It must, this might as well be our chance for getting out of town without being detected” you answered, putting away the forged documents and fixing your eyes back on the road, where Blake was driving down with his car. It was dawn, the first ray of sunshine filtered through the trees of the woods and illuminated your tired face “I know that, but I wouldn’t mind driving all the way instead of having to take the train”

Blue eyes briefly flickered on you before setting back onto the road “After all, knowing your deadly fear of tr–”

“And that’s exactly why we have to take it” you rubbed your arm uncomfortably, biting your inner cheek to calm yourself down “I– I’m aware that I don’t do well with trains. I freeze at the sight of one–I know that and they know that” your fingers curled around the combat knife on your lap “They will try to use any single information on me to make sure I won’t be able to run away. . .they won’t expect me to use the one vehicle I wouldn’t step foot in”

The rearview mirror reflected your sullen face, a flash of light passing through as the car turned in a curve.

“I will. . .I will just close my eyes” a nervous chuckle escapes your lips “I will keep my eyes closed and let you carry or lead me inside the train. I will just keep my eyes squeezed the whole journey. . .” you tried to reassure yourself, feeling your stomach already twisting itself in protest. Blake hummed.

“I can tell you stories about when Samuel was just a baby and made my wife go insane”

“I would appreciate that really much. . .”

Flickering your eyes out of the window, you leaned your forehead against the glass and closed your eyes. A meow broke your train of thoughts, prompting you to straighten your back and turn around to look at the backseat, where Marilyn was already watching you with her big eyes and swinging her tails lazily back and forth before meowing once again and making your eyes soften.

You debated with Blake if it would have been a good idea to maybe leave her in someone’s home, the old granny perhaps, and then take her back once things calmed down. . .however it’s since you came back that she insisted on being attached to your hip, hissing and growling whenever the ebony haired man tried to pry her off. Seeing the situation at hand, you decided to take the bet and made the feline tag along the journey to reach Samuel’s dorm.

“Hey girl. . .how is it going? Are you hungry?” you smiled at her, lazy, soft, and stretched a hand to pet her head “Hang there, once we are on the train, Mister Blake will give you all the treats you deserve” you promised.

She meowed in delight.

Blake scoffed with a small grin.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Your town has a train station. It’s small with only two rails going opposite directions, just beside the woods and barely used. Trains still stopped here, one going north and one going south with each passing once every hour– meaning that if you lose yours then it will be a long wait for the next one. Spending one hour in a small train station with the main building barely standing wasn’t a nice experience to everyone who had the misfortune of experiencing it.

“[Due to bad weather, the train 123976 had been subjected to a delay of 1 hour]”

And now you are also gonna be another soul victim of the poorly organized system of train departures.

“There is no way we are so unlucky” you groaned, running a hand down your face in what Blake could describe as pure annoyance. He himself wasn’t happy about the accident– not when he counted on taking the first train available in the morning and arriving mere minutes before its departure so that there weren't any possibilities for those creatures to reach you two in time “It’s fine. It’s like you said. They will never guess that you came to a train station out of everything”

Sighing, you nodded at his words and sat on one of the benches with Marilyn on your lap “I guess so. . .”

The blue eyed man looked at you for a second before shifting his focus on the building behind you two and swinging his rifle over his shoulder “I’m gonna map out the terrain, see if we may have an advantage or maybe a disadvantage. If something happens. Scream”

You just nodded and let your gaze get lost on the landscape in front of you, hearing Blake’s steps get smaller and smaller.

For a good half an hour, you did nothing but lay motionless and processed everything that happened once again. . .when suddenly a freight train rushed past the rails on the other side– snapping you out of your daze and spiking your heartbeat to your throat. The sound of metal again metal was so loud, the wagons speeding so fast that were simply unrecognizable blurry blobs–

Before you knew it, the train was gone, leaving behind just the wind to follow it which did nothing if not ruffle your hair and Marilyn's fur.

The train was gone. . .but it might as well reminded you why you were so utterly terrified of them. . .

Huge, loud vehicles driving speeds that could cut through objects and with no way of stopping in time.

The sound of the crash echoed in your mind.

Yea. . .

Your heart did not like that at all.

Standing up, you felt your legs shake and it took you a deep breath to gather your strength and turn around to pat your cat "I'm going to the bathroom, hun. . .you. . .you stay here. . .I'm coming back soon" 

All she did was meowing.

You made your way to the bathroom of the train station, searching for a working sink so that you could wash away the sweat around your wrists. With the heart thumping loudly in your heart and shallow breath escaping your lungs you opened the old door with a fading ‘Bathroom’ sign screwed to the surface. It has been years since you had been close to a train, took you months to stop flinching whenever the sound of wheels over rails flashed through screens and movies.

Stopped watching action movies with trains in it all together.

Maybe that’s why you moved to a smaller town, because trains don’t usually go through here– or at least, they go through but the station is barely used and stops once every hour. It’s not good in this case, not when you are trying to run away from man-eating monsters. Either way, the point is that you genuinely thought to have come to peace with your terror of trains– you did everything that the therapist told you, followed every advice.

Yet, when placed in a train station– not even the train itself– your heartbeat would spike and the fingers so numb that you thought they weren’t yours in the first place. Funny how you felt more calm against creatures that could shred you alive rather than doing something as normal as taking a moving vehicle.

You stumbled toward the sink, praying that it worked and especially that the water would not come out murky or disgusting. You have puked enough times in the past days. . .you don’t ask for water from the fountain of youth. Fingers curling around the edge of the sink, you leaned forward slightly and took a deep breath to calm your nerves. . .whenever you were anxious about the Circus finding you or the journey ahead, you couldn’t tell the difference anymore.

Speaking about Circus. . .

Your attention snapped over the wall in front of you, coming face to face with an old dirty mirror. . .you aren’t sure how Ticket Taker’s powers works, if he has to force the mirrors himself, if he has to touch it before his could travel through them or if his powers were so strong that anything reflective could count as a mirror but you wouldn’t take any chance. Not after what happened to Livia.

With the water running in the background, your eyes snapped to the corner of the bathroom and locked into a set of brooms and other cleaning supplies. Good enough. . .ahhh. . .it won’t matter if you destroy public property right? After all, you seem to be more than an expert when it comes to damaging bathrooms.

So, taking hold of one of the longer and sturdier brooms, you made your way to the sink once again and swung as hard as you could– shattering the mirror in smaller shards followed by a loud *CRASH!*

Perhaps you needed to let out some of the anger in you but it felt honestly good. Like a small revenge you knew won’t be possible to obtain with losing a hand or perpetuating a never ending cycle of violence between you and the monster. . .also because in a part inside you, an annoying small part, still wished you could have found a common ground– an explanation– a solution.

Was running away the right thing?

. . .

Pierrot made it clear that you had no choice.

“Stupid. . .” you muttered to yourself, lightly hitting your forehead against the stick of the broom “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid” walking back to the sink you finally placed your hands under the water, being mindful of not soaking your bandages. You shuffled on your feet, pushing away the glass shards and under the furniture as you kept trying to stop your heart from jumping out of your throat.

The bathroom door opened, a pair of shoes entered and walked closer with slow and lighthearted steps. The person reached your side and turned on the faucet beside allowing the water to flow down yet never making a movement to dip their hands underneath it. No words were exchanged and the only noise that reached your ears was the rhythmic tapping of long nails on the ceramic.

The stranger hummed a melody under their breath following whatever music was in their head.

“Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye. Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. And when the pie was opened, the birds began to sing, ‘now wasn’t that a dainty dish to set before a king.’”

The water kept flowing on your wrists as the song went on like a taunt in your mind.

“The king was in his counting house, counting out his money. The queen was in the parlour, eating bread and honey. The maid was in the garden, hanging out the clothes, when along came a blackbird and pecked off her nose”

Then the tapping stopped.

“They were all in love with dyin', They were drinking from a fountain, That was pouring like an avalanche, Coming down the mountain. . .”

In the corner of your eyes you noticed those black slender fingers barely hidden by a beige long coat and a brown cardigan and your heart beat spiked like never before now, mouth going dry and numb. “You have broken the mirror” your gaze shifted on the broken mirror, looking at the reflection of the stranger distorted by the shards. The way a scarf covered the lower part of his face, a pair of golden glasses framed his purple eyes– the same color as those long strands peeking out of the coat hood.

“I presume that you have seen Bil's performance then.” Jester mused with a low chuckle, making the hair on your neck stand up. The tapping resumed “I wonder what else you had witnessed for you to be leaving so abruptly. To choose and take a vehicle you are deadly afraid of stepping a foot in” 

He knew, of course he knew– Harlequin must have told him everything damn it!

“Jester, there is no point in risking your cover for trying to get me back. I know you can’t deal with the idea of having me near the Circus” you stepped to the side, turning around– he followed after you, unhurried– like this was merely a conversation between two strangers that met for the first time “You will be getting rid of me by letting me get far away. . .I won’t meddle with your business, I won’t say a word for no one will believe me anyway”

Another step back, he stood in front of your only exit. He might be one of the Circus members however the ringmaster had the reputation of hating your guts. Ironically he might be the only one who would let you go just to not see your face ever again. . .if you play your cards right then you might come out alive. . .always if his hatred won’t push him to kill you instead.

“Getting rid of you. . .that does sound nice, yes” he hummed and his eyes glowed, immediately you looked away when you remembered the purple diamond in the fools’ irises “But tell me, how am I supposed to believe your words?” he pushed, you could hear the grin at the sight of your action.

“In the same way that I haven’t called a priest when I figured out you guys being monsters”

. . .

Silence wrapped around the room, heavy and thick. Then–

A laugh– amused– disbelieved– prompting a shiver to run down your back.

“Of course you knew, all humans act like this when they eventually find out our true nature–”

“Don’t you dare start with this deflecting bullshit, you know that I’m not acting like this because you guys are monsters” you bit back, narrowing your eyes in disdain “What was I supposed to do? Let you guys drug me and then. . .I don’t know, probably kill me or dump in the pile of fools you have? Was I supposed to cover my eyes and ignore what you have done to Livia?”

Jester kept his gaze on you, on the way that you looked like a small animal ready to sprint away at the tiniest movement, eyeing in and calculating what your next choice might be. Such a weak creature managed to outrun them for so long, that’s quite the feat he must admit but that has been simply luck. And luck always runs out sooner or later.

“If you get on your knees and beg” he pointed at the ground “I might not drag you back by the collar”

. . .

Your eyes narrowed in disbelief “You have got to be kidding me. What makes you think that I would want to come back at all? You are making this a bigger deal than it needs to be” Jester hummed, in that way that clearly showed lack of interest, and placed his chin between his fingers “Oh but it is a big deal when you are still working under us”

“You mean the job you left me no choice but to take less I wanted to face your fury?” you reminded him “Job that wasn’t even my fault in the first place–tell me Jester! Since we both know the truth, who had really been the one who attacked me? Was one of you? Was all of this a meticulously crafted plan to rope me in the Circus’ affair to be used as a sacrifice for a satanic ritual?”

Jester scoffed, rolling his eyes “You give me too much credit, little monster. You getting attacked had been a mere coincidence that I decided to exploit” he opened his arms, the long coat reaching his knees and acting as a further obstacle to block you “One of our special guests had been a little careless that night. . .lost his way to a very special performance and mistake you for one of the prizes”

Your blood ran cold– actually frozen like a block of ice as it slowly dawned on you.

What happened that night. . .it happened for real. The creature slamming against the bathroom door, you running away, seeing Livia, the mirror maze, the acrobatics–

You almost got eaten in a communal bathroom. . .

Your expression must have mirrored the horror you were feeling inside because Jester’ grin seemed to widen in a cruel way.

“Why aren’t you hypnotizing me?” you finally managed to mutter out, pushing past the fear clawing at your insides “Oh? How are you sure I can do something like that?” the purple eyed monster drawled with joy tasting in his mouth– like he was enjoying having you with your back at the wall and trapped like a little mouse under his mercy.

“I can put things together” was all you said.

“True” he mused, tilting his head to the side “It’s nice when humans understand their places and follow orders like small cute pets. . .but you know what’s more gratifying?” his grin widened further, showing off his sharp dangerous teeth “When they follow orders willingly and not because they are under my fist. That is true control, that is what it means to truly own mind and body. When they know their roles and act accordingly, they hear my voice and that's enough for them” his claw stretched toward you like an invite “I want you to move those legs of yours and walk up to me. Come on, ____. Come here”

He was calling you over like a dog, like you were simply some misbehaving poor creature that didn’t know better– that needed help and guidance.

It made you sick thinking about it.

“You are completely insane if you think that I would ever roll over for you” Your features were scrunched in a grimace and the way that few hope you held onto crumbled right before your eyes was a painful reminder that no one in that Circus could be reasoned with. At this point being killed would have been better.

"You have no choice on the matter" Jester pushed on using that same tone he would reserve during his performance– like this was another tragic story reaching the planned end "You have nothing left but us. Nothing left but me. I made sure of that." the tone got sharper and you flinched at those words, mind immediately flashing to Blake.

"You have no parents left alive, no home to come back to, no job to sustain yourself with, no more support system" the more the list went on, the more you could feel a jab after the other piercing your lungs and making it hard to breath correctly "No one in that town is truly aware of your existence or will remember it after a mere week"

You tried to argue "You are lying–!"

"You said it yourself. Society would do better without someone like you" Jester cut you off and it felt like he just punched you in the guts "It was true that I was planning on using you to get back Columbina and that had been the plan till the last second– don't think that you 'proved me wrong' or 'changed my idea'. Pierrot was so attached to you I thought it would resolve this annoying problem by assuring to mix two of the creatures he cared about"

You felt sick, you actually felt like your legs were about to give up any time now.

"You were going to be part of our family someway or another"

He is delusional– everyone is fucking delusional and out of their minds–!

"But you hadn't been able to even live a week without getting yourself hurt. Have you seen what you have done? What you made me do?" You didn't even noticed when Jester started walking closer, his imposing figure towering over as his honeyed words slowly poisoned your mind "Haven't you understood it yet?" black claws grabbed your chin, lifting it up so that your attention could be on him.

The black mask slipped off, revealing that crude grin so huge it could split open his face. And those eyes—those eyes of an intense purple. Not trying to hypnotize you–no. He wanted you to willingly give him the leash of your collar.

"You are a mess" the words came out patronizing, with an almost motherly undertone as you looked at him completely horrified and battling an inner conflict "You can't do anything without me, don't you see? You don't know how to take care of yourself and always end up hurt or injured, poor silly darling. I should’ve known from the start and taken the right precautions. You need the Circus. You need me" his thumb stroked your cheek.

.

.

.

"So, how about you stop being so childish and come back? Let me lead you, listen to me and only me. You won't have to worry about anything els–"

*BANG!*

A gunshot rung into the air, loud, ear shattering– followed by Jester hiss of pain and him snapping his head back, stepping away and holding his bleeding shoulder. Blake stood at the entrance of the bathroom, rifle in his hands and the meanest glare you ever saw on his face, blue eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed.

"Get the hell away from them, you monster" he ordered, pulling back the trigger of the weapon– ready to stick another round of bullets right in the middle of the snarling purple haired man. Jester was down right growling in anger at being cut off before he was able to end this whole story. Blake did not back away from the challenge "I won't let you hurt someone else I hold dear– will this be the last thing I will do!"

Exploiting the clown's lowered guard, you knocked your elbow right in the middle of his chest and below his lungs with all the strength you could gather– earning a groan which was promptly ignored in favor of rushing far away from him "Run! Get out! The train is almost here!" Blake screamed, lifting his rifle once again and shooting another bullet when Jester tried to grab you with his sharp claws, barely missing you by inches "I will hold him off!"

"Don't look him in the eyes!" You warned, sprinting out of the bathroom as more gunshot and growls echoed right behind. You didn’t even managed to reach the end of the corridor when one of the doors you passed suddenly flew off its hinges and harshly slammed against the wall opposite with a loud *SLAM!* You looked back and immediately wished you didn't.

Coming out of the cloud of dust, two deep green eyes locked immediately on you– gone was the green jester uniform in favor on the same outfit he decided to wear that faithful night of the road trip. The irony of choosing such an outfit with which you have spilled your worries and weaknesses didn't got lost on you.

Ohhhh but now it wasn't only that, noooo.

His grey hood fell down with the quick movement, allowing you to see the short bouncy curls and two huge dark goat horns right above his head. And especially sickly green tendrils all around him, wrapping over his legs, his waist or simply laying on the ground.

You wanted to sob–

Why did everyone decide you would be the ideal prey!?

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

Extra:

Jester while crumbling MC thin resolve: No one loves you but us.

Mister Blake bursting through the door America style with his rifle: Repeat that again for me purple asshole.

.

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[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 22: Cry me a river

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

.

*Knock!* *KNOCK!*

“Who the hell is now. . .” stepping down from the stairs leading to his bedroom, a dark haired man stomped toward his house’s front door, scowl on the face at the incessant knocking and slamming on the wood. On his left hand, he held his phone ringing from what felt like an eternity before he scoffed when it went once again to the voice mail and glared at it “____ is not answerin–”

*KNOCK!* *KNOCK!*

“I’m coming!” Blake shouted, throwing the phone on the couch before turning around and yanked open the front door “What the hell do you wan–!” 

the words were cut from his tongue when he saw you come tumbling inside his house, falling to your knees, breath elaborated, shoulders shaking like an earthquake and looking like you went through hell itself. 

“Kid–? Oh God-!” his blue eyes widened, knees immediately falling down by your side, face scrunching as the smell hit his senses “Why do you smell like a dead animal? And these clothes. . .why are you dressed like this–?”

“She is dead!” you cut him off with a choked sob, shoulders hunching further your fingers curling and clawing at the floor– squeezing the blood out of your reopened wounds “She–She died! They all died and- and–! It’s my fault! It's all my fault–! Oh god! What the fuck! What have I done?!” the words coming out of your mouth sounded like jumble, too fast and messy to understand. Especially when all you were busy doing was crying your heart out, gasping for air and making zero sense.

“Kid–!” Blake tried again but was cut by more coughs and sobs as you punched the floor with your injured hand, leaving a huge blood stain “If I– If I just let them kill me none of this would have happened!”

“Kid–”

“If I just did what they wanted–Livia wouldn’t have—!”

“____!” two big hands grasped your shoulders, dragging your upper body back enough that he could slide in front of you and force your focus on him “Calm down! You are going into hyperventilation!” all you did was keep your lost eyes on the ground, chest still heaving up and down, the motion broken by the occasional choked sob and cough. Your chest hurt from the effort, limbs so numb that you could no longer feel anything– blood trailing down included. And your mind–

Oh. . .your mind. . .

It was like someone was constantly bashing it against a wall over and over and over again. The information and images you saw were fresh like bread and eating your very core, burning like an inferno. You felt empty and too much at the same time.

Blake eyed the condition you were in, questions at the tip of his tongue and ready to tumble out– yet he sighed and squeezed your arms “You look like a mess. . .let’s get you cleaned and a new pair of clothes” sneaking an arm around your back, he lifted you to your feet– basically carrying you at this point as you made no motion to stand on your own, too busy still trying to not choke on your own sobs. He threw a look at the front door, closing and locking it before carrying you to the bathroom.

After making sure you were sitting on the toilet (and that you wouldn’t accidentally fall down) he hurried out, only to immediately come back with Samuel’s old clothes that could fit you. Blake tried to give them to you and turn around to allow you some privacy, yet you didn’t even look at them– eyes pinned to the floor with soaked strands of your hair framing the empty expression and the silent tears rolling down your cheeks and hands uselessly limp by your side.

You. . .you looked dead.

No. . .you looked worse than dead. 

The dark haired man did not want to force you to do anything but his parental instincts were stronger than him and he wanted to at least have you change out of those worn and disgusting jester clothes or whatever they were. With a deep sigh, he took off your hat and threw it into the nearest bin before taking a pair of scissors and cutting off the upper part of the uniform. There is no way that he will try to understand how these things work.

Sometimes you tilted a bit too far to the side and he had to gently push you back before resuming his work. Once the uniform was off, he took a sponge and soaked it slightly before damping away the grime and smell of death from your shoulders, arms and back. Once you feel better he will have you take a proper shower. But this will do for now.

Helping to put on the plain shirt, he did the same with the lower part of the uniform and at least now you weren’t a walking corpse. . .maybe.

“I killed her. . .” your voice came out meek, shaky, hoarse “I let them kill her. . .” new tears quickly filled your burning eyes “Mister Blake. . .Livia. . .” the dark haired man looked at you, eyebrows furrowed and fingers curled around the towel. His expression was hard to understand, you don’t think you want to look at him as you force the next words to come out, stuck in the back of your throat like a fish bone.

“Livia. . .Livia is dead”

It felt like a bomb. A quiet explosion followed by heavy silence. Something that you couldn’t hold up as it allowed the mess in your head to take over your thoughts– and they were ugly and painful– you wanted to curl up on yourself and scream till your vocal cords gave up or your lungs break– “It’s all my fault if she is dead. They wanted me– they wanted to use me, not her! I was the one who was supposed to die! If I didn’t mess up then–L-Livia would–! It’s all my fault”

An image of the corpses inside the black tent flashed before your eyes and your mind, your oh so cruel mind, couldn’t help but imagine your dear Livia in their places and that was enough for you to fall down on your knees and lift the toilet seat before throwing up everything that was left in your stomach. Blake was immediately by your side, a hand over your back as he made sure no strands could fall on your face. He had yet to say something and that might be even worse than if he screamed in your face.

“If I just wasn’t such a disappointment. . .if only I never started shits with people I shouldn’t have. . .then. . .they wouldn’t have to change hosts at the last seconds and–and–!” your nails dug against the white ceramic “She was supposed to graduate next week. . .” the statement felt weak, so– so fragile yet so heavy. It did nothing more than reinforce your already devastated mind.

“I tore her away from her dream. . .I tore her away from everything, when I had nothing from the start. If it had been me. . .no one. . .would’ve noticed– not in the same way as it would have been with Livia” she had a family, she was kind, she had a promising future, she could have given society so much more– so why the hell couldn’t they have used you?! Someone with nothing! Someone which the society could only benefit from their disappearance! 

Oh right! Because you fucked up once again!

If you never roped any of them in your childish problems they wouldn’t have come to know about Nate, Martha, Alex, Jo— so many people would have not died because of you!

“Kid” Blake's voice reached your ears, prompting for your blurry eyes to shift on him just in time for his hand to pass you a handkerchief to wipe away the tears over your cheeks “I know that this is hard for you but I need to tell me what happened. I don’t want to know whose fault it was, I just need a timeline okay? We discuss blame later on”

Even if his expression was stoic, you could catch the brief clenching of his jaw and the way his fingers curled inside his palm. He was trying to process your incoherent words and information trying to not panic and make your situation worse. “Mister Blake. . .” you looked away “You were right. . .the Circus. . .they. . .”

You thought back at the happy memories you have shared (if they were even real in the first place) and it pained you to speak the next words.

“They were the one behind Thalia’s disappearance”

Blake felt his blood run cold, blue eyes widening and expression downright looking horrified and disgusted at the same time, like he always thought about it being true but hearing it felt like a bucket of ice cold water dunked on his head. A small part of him truly wished for his wife to have simply run away with a secret lover or something like that. But this? This was the worst.

“They were trying to do a ritual– something of the sort–I don’t know! And it needed a human and–and–” breathing was starting to get hard once again “And I was the one that was chosen to be used a-as a host. I was supposed to be the one to die and yet because of my error–”

“Livia was the one paying once again”

And this time there was no going back.

“It’s all my fault–like an idiot I didn’t listen to you and instead kept being blind to everything that was around me. The signs were there! How did I–!” You started spiraling once again at the fresh memory and everything that happened previously overlapped, only to be enveloped in an embrace by the last person you ever thought would be willing to hug someone “It’s not your fault kid”

Your vision began to get blurry once again “How can you say that? It’s obvious that if I never accepted—!”

“And if an asteroid hit earth then none of us would be here” leaning back, Blake kept his hands on your upper arms– making sure that you were looking at him and you heart dropped to your stomach as your eyes landed on his deep blue one, watching as a single tear quietly rolled down his cheek without him acknowledging it. You have never seen. . .Blake cry before now. Not a single tear.

“Listen to me kid, and. . .listen to me carefully, okay?” even his voice sounded different, softer, more tired “What. . .” he cut himself to take a deep breath “What happened to. . .Livia and my wife Thalia. . .could not have been predicted. None of us could have even thought that a– a satanic cult would have tried to use them in a ritual. It sounds impossible even spoken out loud” he squeezed your arms “There was nothing me or you could have done”

Your eyes watered, teeth clenching and nails digging in your palm “And I hate that more than anything”

“I know” Blake nodded his head “I hate that too”

Another second passed by and Blake’s hands finally let go of your arms and wiped away the few tears staining his cheeks “You speak of being the best option these. . .these creatures should have used. Someone who had nothing left in this world, but the truth is– if it really happened to you, I’m not even sure Livia would have been able to find the strength to escape or go on with her life.”

Your eyes lowered to the ground.

“Once, when Lilli spent the dinner with me and Samuel, and she was helping me clean the dishes, she told me something.” standing up on his feet, he walked past you to reach for the sink and turn on the water “She told me that she doesn’t know what she would do if that witch of her step-mother ever tried to send her somewhere far away from you” at those words, your eyes abruptly widened– snapping your shocked face toward the man.

“At the time she still had two years of Uni to get over with and unfortunately she would have to rely on her parents' decision if she wanted to continue her studies. Granted, I told her multiple times to ignore that witch and if she needed anything she could’ve come to me” he splashed some water over his face “But you know how she is. Meek and shy, completely envious of your more outgoing demeanor. Either way. . .”

He turned around to look at you “The mere idea made her damn right almost have panic attack”

There were no words that you could speak out loud. It was like they all had been completely dissolved together with your thoughts.

“The truth is that both of you were everything to the other. If you had been the one killed, at this moment I would have the same conversation but looking at a different pair of eyes”

For some reason those words hit harder than they should have. They made your heart clench so painfully you thought it was trying to tear itself from your flesh.

“Before retiring to a quieter job I used to be a history teacher. I met I think. . .thousands of kids. Seen hundreds of friendships” Blake shot a glance to the upper window of the bathroom, seeing the moon picking up from behind the trees “But I friendship like yours and Lilli?”

Your heart squeezed further, forcing you to double over and lean your forehead against the floor. No tears left your eyes for they had no longer left to shed.

“That’s truly a once in a century thing”

You know that he was probably trying to cheer you up, to make you see the truth. To make you see value in your own life. But you still felt so shitty and dirty and disgusting for what happened. And it didn’t hurt only because you have lost Livia. It hurts so much because you thought you have finally made new friends, new connections– you thought that maybe you weren’t the problem–! Only for losing every single goddamn thing under a blink.

“I couldn’t even tell her goodbye. . .” 

You couldn’t say goodbye to the others too. . .would they even let you go now? After you have found out everything? What were they planning on doing to you if they ended up using Livia? Would they have added you to their corpse collections? Ate you?

The thought pushed another wave of nausea to hit your senses.

A hand landed on your head, making you lift it slightly “If you keep playing the blame game, then you have to also add me” Blake informed you, his expression serious “If I never acted irrationally and confronted that Circus member, you would have never had to interact with him in the first place. If I acted cautionally and called the police or investigated a bit more to find proof, the Circus would have never been able to get you two”

“If they never had someone to bring back then they would have never used either of you”

He tilted his head slightly “See? It’s my fault too” you had no clue on how to answer that, you had no clue on how to answer anything anymore. You were so tired–your own bones felt so tired you just wanted to sleep and forget that anything ever happened. You wanted for this to be just an ugly nightmare.

“But we can’t keep being stuck in the past least someone will sink their teeth on us in the present” he patted your head once again before standing up and offering his hand “You escaped them but it’s far from over. You know too much. They will want to erase any liability. . .” that knowledge made a shiver run down your spine as you took hold of his hand to stand up and try to not fall “We have to warn the police–”

“And tell them what? That a bunch of monsters with superpowers are trying to kill me because I found out about their satanic ritual?” you cut him off, biting your lips and furrowing your eyebrows in a grimace “They will never believe me and if they miraculously do, they will never be ready to go against them– no matter how much I describe. You have to be there to truly understand what they are capable of”

Blake hummed, placing a finger under his chin in thought. You weren't wrong, the police most of the time already slack with any kind of crime– the police of a small town even more. It would be stupid to lose that thin veil of time you managed to buy yourself. Right, even if the police get into action now, it won't be enough and those creatures will get you. . .

"Alright, I have plan. You should take a shower while I gather all the necessities. In these conditions you won't go far away. Clean yourself, treat your wounds and wear light and comfortable clothes– Samuel should still have something that suits you" He ordered and only now, we a clearer mind, you finally gave yourself a long look– grimacing at the state you were in. Getting clean. . .you will scrub off their touches with sandpaper if necessary.

"What's going on? What do you plan on doing?" the question came out with a bit concern.

Blake opened the door of the bathroom, casting you a last look "You are gonna run far away from here."

"Far away from them"

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

ANALISI CORNER OF MC! (And my choices on a writing stand point) 2– The main theme of the book. As you guys might have noticed, there is a recurring theme in my fic, which got more prominent in the last chapters and that is: ●Being stuck in the past. When I played the VN for the first time, what impressed me the most was the fact that all the Circus members (or at least those that we saw) have a weird way of remembering Columbina. Implications and bordline obsession with jer 'sacrifice' every single member seem to try and implement her or her memory into their acts. At the start it might seem sweet or perhaps a way to grieve and keep her in their memories. However the more you think about it the more, instead of a small appreciation, it looked like they were. . .still stuck in the moment of the accident. Like they didn’t want to let it go. And when you obsess on the past, on something that's no longer here. . .well, using Blake's words, someone will sink their teeth on you in the present.  I wanted to take this concept and place it inside my fic in a sort of tragedy. They could have had everything–! If only they didn’t obsessed on the past and learned to let go. Not that's entirely their fault. They had been abused and starved in the past, pushing them to act drastically. But that also doesn't mean thag this way of thinking won't have problems in the future. And it's not only them with the problem of not letting go of the past. All the major characters has it. Mister Blake obsessing over his wife's disappearance (tied to the Circus inability of moving on) Livia insistence on getting over her fear of the circus, wanting to find that spirit she met when she was younger (tied to the Circus inability of moving on) MC inability to let go of people who hurts their loved ones, most of the time going back and take revenge even when it’s no longer necessary. (Everyone is tied to everyone. Sometimes I wonder if the Circus ever went to therapy and learned a healthy way to process loss how things would be right now) Actually, MC already got hit with the repercussions of their actions back when Nate burned their home and jumped them. It was a wake up call (not that they deserved it) and right now they are struggling with no falling down the self blame rabbit hole linked to Livia’s death. From now on starts MC journey to learn this lesson and someone will show them just how to do it. Will trying to survive a crazy Circus crew with even crazier clowns of course!

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[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 21: Bon appetit

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

“Where did they go?” 

Green eyes snapped from side to side, black tactical boots coming to a stop at the edge of the entrance of an abandoned fabric “There is no way we have really lost them” snapping his head back, a hand running its fingers through blonde strands– trying to push them back under the dark hoodie. “For the umpteenth time Nate. . .I don’t know” Martha groaned, leaning her shoulder against the wall and holding her aching cheek. A bruise was already forming in the place you had hit her with your elbow.

“They are good at running, we have been searching everywhere now and not a single trace yet” Alex added “Yea, like a goddamn rat you mean” Nate bit the inside of his cheek, slamming his closed fist against the door frame “We were so close and they–! They slipped away once again, damn it! And we still don’t know where Jo and Lucy are!”

Marth watched as her friend kicked a nearby bucket full of sand, spilling all the content to the ground. She calmly lifted an eyebrow and fixed her smudged lipstick with her finger “What were you planning anyway? We burned their home and we taught them a lesson they won’t forget for a very long time” then she narrowed her eyes, tilting her head slightly “Don’t tell me you were planning to. . .you know. . . That’s not a crime your daddy can pay your way out. Be stupid but not too stupid”

Nate scoffed, shaking his head “And what if I wanted to do that? They kidnapped Jo and Lucy, Martha! They tortured us this whole time– we would do a favor to the world by getting rid of them”

Alex took a step forward, trying to resonate “Okay buddy. . .you are exaggerating now. We will get Jo and Lucy back but committing something like that will involve more than just the local cop down the street. They will connect the dots and–”

“Then we will blame the Circus!” Nate cut him off, lifting his hands to the air with a twisted expression making its way on his face. It made his two friends grimace and share a look between each other with concern. It might be their impression, but he was starting to sound straight up insane– like he was losing it.

Completely unaware that one of the shadows behind them started stretching closer and closer.

“They're just a bunch of freaks, no? People already fear them, rumors run rampant between neighbors– everyone will accept the lie if we say that they killed them or kidnapped or god only knows what!” the blonde man turned his back to his friends, digging his nails in the palm of his hand.

“Nate. . .” Alex tried again to reason, taking a step over a green looking cable.

“And then! And then we will call the police! Have the place raided and save Jo and Lucy!” he kept going, voice trembling, broken only by shaky laughs.

“Nate! Quit it, you are freaking me out!” Martha cried out, hugging her arms around her body and taking a step back–. . .only for her eyes to widen when her back hit something solid. Weren’t. . .weren’t they near the entrance?

Then. . .how it is that she already hit the wall on the other side of the room?

“It will be perfect! We just–!”

Martha screams cut through the air like a sharp knife, prompting the two men to turn around abruptly. Only to feel their hearts drop once their gazes landed on the red head girl, firmly held against a body– her arms pinned to her sides, head to the side while a sharp clawed hand dug deeper in her throat, nails leaving small bloody indents from the pressure.

“I’m sorry” Harlequin’s smile was cruel, all sharp teeth and mocking intent “But I’m afraid we can’t allow little pests to jeopardize the Circus. Your opinion on my home wound me greatly” then, the green ‘cables’ on the ground wrapped around Alex’s legs and lifted him up before slamming him back down on the cemented ground, head first “Never do that again, little one” 

Martha choked out a sob, seeing her friend’s body dangling from this. . .this tentacle and blood slowly dripping down from his forehead. Harlequin just chuckled, delighted by her terror and the smell of blood filling the air.

“Ale–!” 

Then a red blur appeared from behind Nate, just as a heavy brick was slammed on the back of his head– sending the blonde guy to the ground with a sickly crack. “How dare you” without leaving room to even attempt and catch a breath, Pierrot was already over his body, the hard brick secured on his grip “How dare you. How dare you. How dare you! How dare you! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DA–”

His expression was twisted into an ugly grimace, golden eyes shrunk to mere pin pricks, his horns tearing the fabric of the red hat as he kept slamming the brick over and over and over Nate’s head.

“How dare you hurt them!”

*CRACK!*

Blonde hair mixed with the substance leaking and tainting them of a deep red.

“How dare you touch them with your dirty hands!”

*SQUASH!”

Brain pieces remained stuck to the sharp corners of the brick, flying around with every erratic movement.

“How dare you! How dare you! Howdareyouhowdareyouhowdarey–!”

The clawed fingers dug deeper into the cement to the point that Pierrot accidentally broke it, crumbling the pieces in his hands– yet, despite this, he did not stop with his rampage and instead passed to dig his nails into the flesh of the unrecognizable boy and tear apart everything.

Martha was left to watch her friend being completely brutalized by a 6,6 ft monster, sobbing and whimpering from pure fear and terror. She wanted to look away so badly but the man behind her would not let her do that, going as far as using his extra appendices to keep her from falling to the ground. She cried and recoiled when blood, Nate’s blood, splattered over her legs.

“Hey big guy” Harlequin called out with a cheerful tone, like all of this was totally normal, like witnessing a brutal homicide was just another average day “There is no need to go on. You already squashed his head like a fly, you are just gonna dig a hole if you keep going” and then laughed when Pierrot’s wild eyes snapped on him in a heated glare, while the girl in his grasp just choked out more sobs.

“Messy as usual” the ebony haired monster whistled, looking at the previously pristine white mask now completely drenched in blood. Even his silky long silver hair resembled Doctor’s, wet and still dripping down “Aww, I thought we would take turns. You had all the fun alone”

“Shut up” Pierrot growled, baring his sharp teeth to his fellow monster “Look at me” Harlequin lifted Alex’s body higher to the sky with his tentacle before slamming him down on the ground with a sick *Crack!*.

“So efficient”

*Slam!*

“Clean”

*SLAM!*

“Nothing dirty.” *SLAM!* “Fast” *SLAM* “And still good for consumption!” *SLAM!*

Martha sniffled in his arms, tears and snot mixing together, her legs given up long ago with the only support being those disgusting tentacles and sharp claws. Her eyes were closed, forced to hear that repeated cracking sound over and over and over again. Dreading for when it will be her turn and praying to any god to be spared.

“Please. . .I-I won’t say anything. . .please. . .I beg of you. . .don’t kill me”

But her words fell to deaf ears and the two monsters ignored her.

“Plus we need the bodies and as much meat as possible” Harlequin’s grin widened, green eyes glowing lightly stuck on a pair of golden ones “Jester’s orders”

■__—ピエロ—__■

Your wide eyes looked at the scene in front of them.

You think the smell hit before the sight could land on the scene you stumbled in.

Death.

That’s the only way you could describe what you were looking at. A pungent, disgusting odor first hit your senses, overwhelming them and forcing your features to scrunch in a grimace as your hand flew to cover your nose. But it didn’t manage to come all the way before freezing and your eyes got used to the dark, finally processing what they were seeing.

Bodies.

Or worse. Corpses.

Thrown around carelessly, piled one above the other, completely brutalized in the worst ways possible. Limbs missing, heads cracked open, blood caking every surface your eyes could land on, dripping to the ground and forming pools. Some of the blood was dried, other seemed to be still fresh.

You felt yesterday’s dinner come back up your throat, prompting you to snap your head to the side and empty your whole stomach while your mind was desperately trying to erase the image you have just stumbled on. Your legs felt light and heavy at the same time, the fingertips going numb and your head spun like you were in a carousel. 

Those. . .those are not props. . .those are real humans, aren’t they?

You hesitantly shifted your gaze back to the inside of the black tent and clenched your teeth when your eyes confirmed that yes. Those are definitely human bodies, those empty eyes (the one that still had eyes) were the same empty eyes that you last saw on your parents. That means. . .that means that the Circus is some sort of. . .I don’t know, serial killer organisation?

It would be in line with the cult shits. A lot of those rituals need human blood or human hair or whole humans.

Swallowing the thick knot formed in your throat, you took a deep breath and walked deeper, hearing Pierrot calling your name from outside. He hasn’t seen you coming inside here, good. That means that you have an advantage and exploit this moment of confusion to quietly sneak away. But how could you do it? The Circus is half down and from here to the nearest exit or even the bathrooms there is nothing you can use to hide behind. And running in the open is not an option.

Blend. . .you have to blend in. . .but how?

Looking around frantically for anything that could help you, your eyes landed on a group of fools huddled together like cargo. They were still as statues, staring ahead, not acknowledging the clear massacre near them. You looked at their uniform, at their masks, heart beating hard in your chest and teeth sinking inside your inner cheek. 

This might be a gamble. But it will also be your only chance to possibly escape.

Taking a deep breat–no scratch that. The air here is unbreathable. Instead you covered your mouth and nose, making your way closer to the group of fools as quickly and silently as possible “Hey” you tried to call one of them, snapping your fingers in front of the girl with deep red hair. No answers at all. 

You tried to gently push her. No reaction.

Seeing this, you took her mask off and your heart dropped once you recognized the person in front of you. Martha. Yes, of course. You would recognize one of your perpetrators everywhere. Snapping your eyes back on the pile of bodies, your heart hammered in your chest and your mouth went dry as disgust washed over you.

There, just under a chest, peeking his head out. Alex.

Nate must be somewhere here too. . .unless he hasn't become a pile of mush already.

Nausea hit you again and you snapped your head back on Martha– grimacing at the way her eyes now looked dull with a bright purple diamond just in the middle of them. She was no longer a human. She was nothing more than an object.

“I. . .I’m so sorry” it came out almost instinctively, the apology tumbling out of your lips before you could stop it “I’m–! I’m so sorry, really” you didn’t even know why you were apologising–no. You perfectly knew why. And it is because it was your fault if they ended up like this, if they died in such a brutal inhuman way. If you never got them involved with you. . .if you never got hurt. . .if you never roped Harlequin and Pierrot with your problems. . .

They would be alive.

No one deserves this kind of fate, not even someone like them.

An image of Livia passed through your mind and you froze, breath stuck in your throat and eyes quickly getting stinging.

“I’m so sorry. Oh god–, I’m so sorry–!”

You grasped Martha shoulders, hard, shaky, digging your fingers in the fabric as your head leaned against her chest– trying your best to remain whole and not break now of all times. Biting down your lip hard enough to draw blood, you pushed yourself back and started searching for one of the fools that had your body built and thank god that there they were.

Repeatedly apologizing for stripping them of their clothes, you did the same with yours before throwing them in the pile of corpses and putting on the pink uniform. If these monsters have animalistic traits that means that they could track you down by the odor, throwing your old clothes in a pile of foul stench will make sure that they won’t be able to follow anymore lead. Plus, with this new uniform you yourself should not have the same smell as before.

With the mask in place, you felt just a tiny more secure. . .not that it changed much your situation but at least you feel a bit more in control. Now, to go and gamble with your life, it would be dumb to just go out like this and especially alone. You will stick out like a sore thumb and get zeroed immediately by Jester or Ticket Taker and then it will be game over.

Eyeing the fools once again, you took hold of your chin. . .if only you could convince them to follow you. . .to give the illusion that someone gave you an order. To blend in.

Then you remembered. Jester gave you two fools! Pinco and Pallino! You are not sure if it will work. . .but if they could listen to you then. . .

“Pinco, Pallino, uhhh. . .get here” you awkwardly commanded and for a long while none of the fools seemed to move, prompting a frown to etch on your face behind the mask. Then, against all odds, a man and a woman stepped forward. Your fools! Oh thank god! Maybe it’s not all over yet.

“Okay guys, Pinco grab the box, Pallino you hold this one” you passed one of the containers with props inside to the woman fool and then you wrapped your hands around the pole of a flag. Just in case, if they discover you, this could be used as a nice last resort weapon. Peeking your head out, you made sure that no monster was near and signaled for your two lackeys to follow you.

And so it started, with your heart beating relentlessly in your throat, the journey to your doom.

You tried to make yourself unrecognizable, hiding all your hair, or most of them, under the pink hat. The hand you used to punch the mirror and escape Ticket Taker faintly ached which each movement. But it’s fine. . .everything is fine. . .just act like a fool. Match the steps of the other two until you reach one of the exits and then ditch them. Act mindless. . .you are a fool, you are a fool, you are a fool, you are a f–

“Oh my, what do we have here?”

Your heart dropped at the sound of a honeyed voice yet at the same time it couldn’t help but feel a twinge of relief. You cursed yourself inwardly, making sure you didn’t break formation nor give Harlequin any sign of you acknowledging him. The ebony haired monster chuckled, eyeing you three making your way who knows where, and fell in a walk just beside you.

Your heart never felt more heavy than now.

“How cute, I thought Jester already placed you all inside the toy box but it seems he still needs your help” he mused, mocking tone dripping down from his lips before he suddenly pushed Pallino harshly to the ground, just in front of you. The content of the box scattered all around the ground, forcing you and Pinco to stop in your tracks, watching as the other fool robotically pushed himself to his feet. Harlequin looked so smug, it made you feel less than an ant.

It was weird, you have always known that Harlequin was quite the teasing guy, he picked fun on Pierrot, his character is crude and he doesn’t shy away from making innuendos and poking insults. But until now it all felt more like a way to have harmless fun. . .well sort of.

Watching how he pushed the fool to the ground, treating them like a mere toy, pushing and prodding them around. . .cruel. He felt so cruel at the moment and it was twisting your heart so hard it took everything in you to keep your blank stare forward and not punch him in the face out of anger.

Did he know?

He surely did.

Does that mean that all those times you spent together were. . .was anything he said to you. . .did anything you share really matter?

Don’t think, don’t question, you are just a fool– in all senses.

“Ahhh! Wait a second you little one” gracefully he stepped in front of you, ignoring Pallino and even pushing them further to make space and swiftly standing so close to your body you were seriously thinking that he figured you out. Harlequin looked at your mask for what felt like eternity, yet you are sure that only mere seconds went by.

*Thump!* *Thump!*

He smiled. You kept your eyes forward, lost somewhere, praying that he will shove you and be on his way.

“What is my nose telling me. . .” then he shot his claw forward, grabbing your injured hand and dragging it up in the air– almost making you stand on your tippy toes. Pain bloomed under his grip, travelling down your arm and choking you in a muted cry. Don’t make a sound, don’t make a sound, don’t make a sou–

With a quick movement he ripped the part of your uniform covering your arm, revealing the fresh cuts the glass shards left– still bleeding, painfully so “An injured one. What a shame. The others haven’t been careful with such a delicate fool such as yourself, mh?” another crude chuckle escaped the ebony haired monsters and, while all you wanted to do was scream, the only thing that kept you going was the fact that he still hasn’t recognized you.

He didn’t know that under the mask there was you.

This was his real self. . .

“Thump!* *Thump!*

. . .don’t think about that now.

“That means that you will be our dinner tonight then. How, exciting” he dragged you by the arm closer, you stayed as limp as possible– even letting the flag fall down to really sell the illusion even when fear was eating you alive “I had been craving something sweet all this time and, from the smell of your blood, I wonder if also the flesh will be as tender”

Then, as if this situation wasn’t already nightmares fuel as it was, Harlequin mask opened up– letting you seet a long biforked tongue coming out “Would Jester mind if I get an appetazer early?” his spoke, mainly to himself, tapping his chin with a sharp nail “Ohhh he seems to be in such a good mood, I guess I can go by with this one. It has been quite a while since I had something tasty under my teeth” his grip tightened and only the smallest twitch of your eyes could show your pain.

Your injured arm was dragged closer to his mouth, your heart beating like crazy– slamming against your ribcage, a primal instinct urging you to step back, get away, punch, scream–ANYTHING! 

*THUMP!* *THUMP!*

However you remained limp, watching in the corner of your eyes as that long biforked green tongue wrapped around your arm– your fingers doing the smallest twitch you could allow yourself, breathing was starting to become hard to do, the pounding in your head and the tongue over your skin the only thing you could focus on.

Don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t make any indication that you were aware of what was happening.

*THUMP! *THUMP!*

Don’t think about the warm breath hitting your flesh. Don’t think about those sharp teeth opening and ready to sink in your arm. Don’t think about how happy he looks at the moment.

*THUMP!* *THUMP!*

You are a fool, you are a fool, you are a fool, you are a fool, youareafool, youareafoolyouareafoolyouareafoolyouareafo–

You are a fool who is about to get eaten–

“Harlequin!”

The green eyed monster stopped his advances, leaning back from your arm and closing his mask before snapping his focus on a general direction where Ticket Taker’s voice came from. You don’t know. You weren’t daring to move a single muscle.

“What?” Harlequin called back quite snappy, it was obvious that he was ticket off with his meal being abruptly interrupted– you could hear it in the tone lacking any type of bite or playful tease “Quit playing around with the fools and come here, it’s important” Ticket Taker urged again, his words not leaving space to contradict him.

Rolling his eyes, the ebony haired man pushed you back and making you unceremoniously falling on your ass “What a shame, we have to interrupt our dinner date before the main dish” your eyes were pinned to the ground, all you could see were his boots “Well then, don’t think this is over little one. Give me a minute and I will be back. Try to not run away” his sharp chuckle reached your ears.

“Not that you can in the first place”

And then only steps growing gradually farther filled the air.

. . .

And of course your racing heart– that might be the loudest sound.

A minute passed where you didn’t dare to move, then another, then anoth–

You jumped on your feet and resumed the robotical walk with Pinco and Pallino, gaze pinned on the floor, blank, empty.

Just like it was all you could feel at the moment.

The communal bathrooms came into view and a small sob of relief escaped your throat before you could stop it. You dived inside them, making sure to duck beneath the mirrors, reaching one of the top windows leading to the main road and climbing over it. An overwhelming urge to broke down and cry your heart out washed over you as your legs almost gave up when you jumped down.

You looked at the empty street.

You escaped the Circus’ grounds. 

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

ANALISI CORNER OF MC! (And my choices on a writing stand point) 1– Morality of humans. Do good humans exist? So, for this corner I wanted to start with a core aspect of MC: they are not a perfect person (I don't use 'moraly gray' as I'm not sure that's the right term) I chose to make MC a flawed character for two main reasons. ● Does Pierrot love the person or the act? ● The two extremes opinions on humans, Pierrot–Jester For the first point. I wanted to explore Pierrot as a character and his obsessive love with MC. We all know that he would love a kind person, who wouldn't? They are perfect, they saved him, they are always ready to put themselves out for others. But would he have loved someone who is not constantly a saint?  MC is flawed to challenge this variable, and also to place the scenario in a realistic setting. I'm not saying that a kind and good human doesn't exist (I'm not Jester) however it's also true that an average person most likely won't be like that to that degree. And most of the time an overly kind MC has to be dumbed down to an idiot just to keep the story going on. It is stated that Pierrot loves everything about MC and, while I acknowledge that it is made so people of all looks and gender can feel represented, in a real life scenario that can feel. . .superficial. A partner feels appreciated when they are seen. To be loved is to be seen. However with Pierrot feels like, if the next person came by and made a kinder gesture then they will be his next darling. Ence the, does Pierrot love MC or the act of kindness? Now, onto my next point. Once again I made MC flawed to challenge mainly two beliefs in the Circus. MC (a human) is the Devil on earth. MC (a human) is an angel sent to earth. Both statements are completely WRONG! MC is a human capable of good (helping Pierrot) but also capable of evil (decided to pick fights) and their journey is that of learning and changing for the better. They represent (this is a big statement) humanity itself. And everyone can see them and decide on which scale to place them. Here a a rough line of the map where the Circus members stands on their view of MC and their morality: 【Good】: Pierrot; Columbina  【Good with a hint of evil】: Doctor 【Balanced】: Harlequin  【evil with a hint of good】: Ticket Taker 【Evil】: Jester Also in the future chapters I will also explain why Harlequin is the one who closely sees MC for who they really are ehehehhe

Jester will be sulking becayse everything was perfect with Columbia back and he reluctantly accepted you into the circus but then you ran just because they may have sacrificed your friend! It’s not that big of a deal plus you have them now so why would you even need anyone else

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

Jester is one of those people who swear they don't want a pet and then ends up taking care of it. I believe is also canon that he doesn’t like pets because they are too high maintenance.

I think he was so convinced that you would be used as Columbina's host that now he doesn't know what to do with you. The first thought would be to kill or turn you into a fool– but Pierrot and Harlequin got too attached (much to his displeasure), Doctor got used to have an assistant and Ticket Taker doesn't mind as long as you follow his rules and keep being obedient.

And to not forget that Columbina begged him to keep such a cute and adorable thing– she promises she will look after it!

The new plan was then to tear you away from everything you have left with the excuse that you have to still pay up the debt with them and therefore he would make sure that you depend on them and on them only.

. . .

But you ran away. And now everything is in shambles– tch. Humans always ruin everything, what a pain.

I was wondering on if i could also get tagged for the next parts?! Please and thank you!!

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

First of all, thank you so much!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate those words 😭🫶!

I'm gonna be honest, out of all the clowns, writing about Harlequin had been the thing I feared the most– too afraid of making him ooc or completely butchering his character.

He ended up being the one I love the most writing about, lol. So I'm glad you liked it!

Previous part <-

Next part ->

[MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FURTHER– SENSIBLE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 20: Valley of lilies

-VOLUME 2: The Chase is on-

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

Livia has never been to the Circus.

She always saw it on the screen of TVs, acrobats twirling and swinging in the air– following an invisible dance, giving the illusion that they could fly. She saw it drawn in comic books, with the ringleader leading the tiger to jump across the hop surrounded by flames, with the elephant able to stay balanced on a tiny colorful ball, with the tigers dancing around performers in harmony.

She read about it in books, with the clowns cracking jokes and making the audience laugh and applaud, with the fire eaters breathing out flames from their lungs, with the magician making doves appear from thin air.

This world would amaze any kid. And today, she will also be able to see it for her thirteenth birthday!

“I’m sorry, but this is not a Circus for kids. I’m afraid I have to refuse your tickets”

. . .

Her wide blue eyes looked over the man that should’ve let her get inside and enjoy her birthday in the promised Circus, only to be completely rejected just mere steps from doing that. Her lips tugged further down as she held her father’s coat and further hid behind, trailing her gaze to the ground while her parents kept arguing with the man.

“Kids can’t enter the Circus? That’s ridiculous–Circuses are made for kids! They are magical and wonderful and–and–what kind of performances could you possibly be doing to not let a kid enter!” her mother argued, pissed with the employee for denying access and pissed with the fact that they traveled all the way here, spent money for this circus and now they can’t enter?!

Livia’s fingers curled harder against the fabric as she hid her face in it “I apologise madam but this is most definitely not the place for kids as the acts displayed involve gore and horror elements” the man repeated once again, prompting the older woman to gasp once again “Gore? Who the hell would come and see something like that?”

“The people in line behind you” the man pointed out “Now please step aside so I can continue my job”

And just like that, Livia’s dream cracked before it had a chance to start.

Her father accompanied her to the first McDonald they stumbled on, rubbing her back in comfort as he bought her an ice cream she could eat, hoping to lift her spirit. “A Circus with gore acts? Have you heard that Tom? That’s absurd!” his wife argued again, crossing her arms and glaring at the giant tents standing before them, her child not even lifting her eyes as she slowly ate her ice cream dejected.

It made her the more angry and frustrated with her daughter's dream being broken before her eyes. If only they could let them in. . ..just let them roam around and not see any performances. . .just to feel the vibes of a Carnival. . .

“That’s really a shame honey. I’m so sorry, maybe you can go to the Circus once you are older o-or we will find another one that allows kids!” Tom tried to cheer both of his girls, chuckling nervously while throwing glances at the Circus “There is nothing that we can do about that though. . .Oh! How about tomorrow w-we take the train and go. . .somewhere! Somewhere fun!” however all he got was more silence.

Tom sighed, standing up from the bench he was sitting in and rubbed the back of his neck “I. . .I will go and get the car. . .better go now so we can reach home earlier and sleep away this bad experience. . .” and just like that, throwing a last glance to Livia, her father started walking toward the parking lot and get the car closer, instead of having his daughter walk twenty minutes.

Livia dropped her down further, pressing her lips together while she listened to the music of the Circus and the people laughing from inside. She also wanted to go there. . .she wanted to see the magic and spectacles–it’s not fair! What is she gonna tell you tomorrow? All time spent fantasizing only for it to remain that. . .just a fantasy.

Her blue eyes started getting glossy and she had to bite back a sniffle–

“Come on” 

When suddenly a hand appeared in her vision, making her blink and lift her gaze to see the determined expression of her mother. Without waiting for an answer, she took hold of Livia’s hand and pulled her to her feet “Let’s go” she urged again, walking in the direction of the Circus “M-Mom?” the child stammered, accidentally letting her ice cream fall down on the ground “W-Where are we going?”

“To the Circus” Elysia announced without turning around, making Livia’s eyes go wide “B-But! Didn’t that man say that I can’t?” she watched her mom scoff “He said that the acts are not child friendly but the rest of the attraction surely are. We will just wander around for a bit, get something to eat, play around and then get out before your dad will notice” then she turned around and gave her a wink “It will be our secret”

All Livia could do was furrow her eyebrows in concern before slowly nodding her head. This was her mother. . .so she must know what she is doing, right?

Getting inside unnoticed was easier than expected and, just as the man in suit said, the place was filled with adults and not a shadow of a child anywhere. It made her feel uncomfortable and admittedly scared, holding her mother's hand as hard as she could while hoping to hide behind her body “Come on Lilli, let’s go and get some popcorn– then I saw this cute game I used to play when I was just your age! See? I knew this Circus had things for children!”

Elysia started pulling her daughter once again through the thick crowd, only for her tiny legs to have a hard time and keep up– especially with all of these grown ups cutting her way and pushing and pulling and—someone suddenly shoved her to the side, making Livia accidentally let go of the hand “Mom!” her call was drowned out by the Circus music while she was still being pushed and shoved, until she ended up stumbling and falling inside one of the smaller tents.

Livia sniffled, tears building in the corner of her eyes once she slowly got to her knees and felt a sudden sting on her palms. Looking down she saw her skin irritated with tiny cuts all over it, prompting the tears built to finally fall down “Ow. . .ow. . .” she muttered between sniffles. “Mom?” she called out again, lifting her head to look around, only to be greeted by nothing if not for an empty tent.

Her lips pursed and she stubbornly wiped away her tears, not wanting to cry right then and there. She was lost, doesn’t know where her mom is, a lot of grown up strangers just walking outside and her dad is far away to get the car. She was so afraid.

“Mom. . .Dad. . .” she sniffled again just as a sudden chime of a bell cut through the air, making her lift her head in confusion and blinking her eyes in surprise at the sight in front of her. If until a second ago she was completely alone. . .now in the center of the tent stood a feminine figure, completely dark but with two beautiful pink eyes staring down at her “So pretty. . .”

The figure tilted her head to the side, looking completely surprised by the acknowledgement of the child and she tentatively took a step closer “You can see me?” her voice was soft, Livia noted, maybe a bit shy and hesitant.

The ebony haired girl nodded her head “I can. . .Oh! Are you one of my ghost friends!” she hasn’t seen one of those in a very long time! What a relief! Her ghost friends are always so nice and kind to her, knowing that she found another one already puts her tiny heart more on rest.

The female figure tilted her head to the side, her shock palpable “I–. . .Yes. . .I’m a ghost–but! You can see me! I never knew someone could see me! Not to this degree, and–and you can understand me!” despite the joyful tone in her voice, the pink eyed woman ended up crying, shedding tears she didn’t know she possessed.

“Ah! Don’t cry ghost lady! Don’t cry! Everything is alright!” Livia jumped on her feet and ran toward the monster, she even attempted to hug her– only to end up going through the body and face planting on the ground “I keep forgetting. . .” she mumbled, slowly getting on her knees and rubbing her sore forehead “Ah ghost lady–!”

“Columbina”

Livia blinked, tilting her head to the side.

“You can call me Columbina” the pink haired monster sniffled, wiping away her tears with a small smile born from the amusing act of the tiny human “Columbina! What a pretty name!” Livia gushed, clapping her hands “A pretty name for a pretty ghost! I’m Livia–Lilli for the friends!”

Columbina chuckled at the words, softly shaking her head “And Livia is an adorable name for an adorable child–”

“Lilli!” Livia cut her off with a pout, prompting a confused tilt of the monster’s head “We are friends! So call me Lilli! Do you have friends?!”

“F-Friends!” Columbina stammered in surprise, this was the first time a human offered her friendship to her instead of running away scared or trying to hurt her “My. . .my friends can’t see me. . .” she admitted “And truth to be told. . .I’m starting to get so lonely when all I can do is watch. And it pains me every time they are sad because of me. . .”

Livia placed her finger beneath her chin, nodding her head with a serious expression “A lot of my other ghost friends feel the same way! But worry not!” she grinned, twirling with a giggle before making a V with her fingers “That’s why I exist! I’m a superheroine that helps the spirits! And my code name is. . .Pama!” (<-- name chosen by her much to ____ displeasure as they were banned from inventing names)

Columbina chuckled, clapping her hands at the small spectacle. 

“And that’s not all! One of these days I will present to you my best friend! So you will have two new friends!” Livia added, jumping from foot to foot in excitement “They are amazing, you will see! They are so funny and kind and strong! I’m sure you will love them–Oh! I can’t wait for you two to meet one day! And then we can all go and play!” then she lifted her pink, like to make a promise.

Smiling, Columbina felt herself become shy at all this kindness she hasn’t experienced in forever.

She was about to lift her own pinky, when suddenly screams echoed outside the tent “Fire! There is a fire!”

From outside the Circus, a man stumbled out of his car– almost falling down on the ground and barely hanging on the open door as his heart dropped down to his stomach “E-Elysia!” he choked out once he noticed his wife in the middle of a horrified crowd “Where is my daughter Elysia!” he roared, rushing toward her and grabbing her shoulder with fear clawing at his throat.

“Where is Livia?!”

But all she could do was watch the flames rise higher in the sky.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“You know Lilli. . .” a clawed hand held the needle higher, a thin pink string following soon after “You were right about ____, they are an amazing person– I could feel it after immediately meeting them!” a chuckle slipped past her lips, followed by a happy squeal “Ah–! How lucky you were and how lucky I have been to be able to see them–touch them–oh! And all because of their precious gift”

Placing down the needle, Columbina brought a clawed hand over her heart (????no-no-no-no????), listening to it beating really quickly which prompted her smile to widen more “You must have loved them dearly Lilli, I can clearly see it. I can feel it” she then placed down the pink outfit she was sewing with cute white wings stitched to the sides to take hold of her blushing cheeks.

“Oh, but I can see why! They are adorable and not only that!” her eyes opened slightly, the pink pupils turning into hearts as she stood up to do a small twirl “They–saved me! They sacrificed what was most dear to them to finally put a stop to my agony!” then, she grabbed the fool she had been using as a mannequin and started dragging them along for a dance “I was in so much pain–in so much agony! Forced to be a wandering spirit who can’t do anything but watch–! Who can’t leave the Circus ground because they didn’t want to let me go!”

She dipped down, the fool keeping her from falling, and her smile widened in something far too unnatural to be normal “They kept me in this painful state because the guilt of their action didn’t let them from move on and so they tried to bring me back over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER—!”

She snapped back up and twirled around “Each time it was painful and each time it failed and EACH TIME they didn’t want to give up and let me rest with Mother Nature. I wanted it to stop. I wanted the time to keep going. So I sabotaged them. I lured each human they wanted to use in the ritual to find the truth and run away or become so unusable they had to ditch the ritual” her heels stepped over the ground at the rhythm of an imaginary music.

“I hoped they would give up after the umpteenth time the ritual failed. . .but They. Never. Did. It drove me insane!” she let go of the fool, who fell to the ground, to take hold of the fabric over her chest “Until you came along and gifted me with the release from this pain. Gifting me your most important thing” she broke into a fit of giggles and happily skipped to her station so she could finish your new pajama, matching her design of course.

You will look so cute in pink! And you two can have so many sleepovers from now on!

“Don’t worry Lilli” her claw took hold once again of the needle “I will take good care of our ___. I promise you that”

.

.

.

.

.

Meanwhile, you were running for your life, heart in throat, breath elaborated, mind in shambles and the only thing you could focus on was— you have to get out of here–fast!

Your hand painfully gripped the torch and dug your nails against the metal, legs knocking over random boxes inside the tent from how dark it was. Which didn’t seem to be a problem for Pierrot as you could hear his boots step over the concrete at a measured pace while they were getting closer and closer an—!

Tried. 

You have even tried really hard to not run in a straight line, but it seems that monsters could perfectly see in the dark.

Something sharp wrapped around your upper arm and in less than a second you were yanked back and slammed to the ground with so much force it knocked the wind out of your lungs “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry my dear–please–!” you heard Pierrot sob as he climbed over your body, straddling your waist while holding one of your arms down with his claw, squeezing it so much–so hard–oh lord he is gonna crush your wrist if he doesn’t stop!

“I didn’t want to hurt you–oh stars! I don’t want to, so please–! Don’t leave me, my love–don’t do that to me!” he kept going, sounding more and more like a kid begging. You trashed around, your legs kicking the ground as you tried to get away from his invasive touch, from his claw sneaking over your neck to hold your cheek.

Tears built in the corner of your eyes and panic was threatening to take the command as you couldn’t see anything if not those hunting golden eyes staring down out and the sensation of tears dropping over your face “Let me go Pierrot! Let me go— don’t touch me!” desperation started clawing at your heart with each second that went by without being able to get away. It didn’t matter how much you tried to hit the silver haired monster’s back with your knee, not even when you tried to bite the hand holding your cheek.

On the contrary. It had the complete opposite effect.

“Oh my love, please. D-Don’t do that. You have no clue what biting means to us monsters” the way you could hear the sick grin making its way on his face almost made you gag with disgust. He wasn’t worried, he wasn’t worried about your attempts at all! This just shows how different monsters were from a physical perspective. There is no chance for you to possibly even think about overpowering Pierrot. . .or any of the other Circus members at this point!

“I’m so sorry, really. But you can’t leave–! You just can’t. I love you so much, you can’t abandon me” Pierrot went on, ignoring any attempted struggle as he searched for something you couldn’t see. Then– not even a second after– he finally let go of your poor wrist, only to grab your jaw and try to pry it open. You immediately latched your hands on his wrist, attempting to make him stop his advances “It’s gonna be fine, my love! J-Just eat this! I promise you are gonna feel better! Trust me!”

You gagged when you felt his other hand trying to push something hard, what you presumed to be a candy, into your throat and tears finally started to trail down your cheeks. Oh god, more drugged food. He is gonna drug you–and then do God only knows what against your will. Oh no, please no! Stop it–! Quit it damn it!

With all your might, you tried–OH if you tried to clench your teeth shut, to turn your head around, to kick and scratch and punch and beg him to stop. But he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. Instead he just pushed down harder, ignoring your struggles, blocking out the tears on your face as they got mixed with his own.

No, this is for the greater good. This is necessary. Please, can’t you see he also doesn’t want this? So just please, do as he says and you will be fine!

He is just gonna drug you.

Yea. . .he is gonna drug you. If you don’t do something he is gonna take you away–do something and no one is gonna save you if not yourself!

Damn it–! Use that useless brain of yours for once!

Snapping open your eyes, you looked around everywhere, trying to catch anything that could help you– only to be greeted by just darkness with the only exception of two golden eyes–

. . .two golden. . .really wide pupils. . .

Two perfectly wide pupils for seeing in the dark—

Without thinking twice, you lifted your torch with a sharp movement– the head pointed right in front of his face– before snapping the setting to max and turning it on. A pained cry followed after the light exploded–illuminating the tent, with Pierrot jerking back and covering his teary eyes with his black claws. This moment of confusion allowed you to not waste more time and crawl on your feet and hands before pushing your legs to try and run out of the tent.

Pierrot’s sobs and wails left behind, his cries begging you to come back a hunting echo in your mind.

Your heart clenched at the thought of your friend (?????????) clearly in so much agony and it took everything in you to bite your tongue and find the strength to keep moving. The feeling of his forceful grip lingered in your skin was just another reminder that this wasn’t a nightmare at all.

Gagging out the feeling of the candy being attempted to be forced down your throat still lingering, you stumbled around the mostly empty Circus, colored in warm hues. The sun was setting out in the distance and the moon was already peeking out from the other side, soon enough it will be pitch dark– which will be mostly at your disadvantage rather than theirs.

“Volte aqui, eu imploro!” [¹]

A tormented cry choked the air out of your lungs, making you curse and quickly snap your head around. You have no clue what Pierrot has just said but chances are he is gonna warn the others and if one clown was hard enough to trick. . .six will be your downfall. Therefore the best course of action is to shake off Pierrot and find a back exit or something like that.

It's obvious the main ones will be closely kept under surveillance.

Your eyes landed on a dark blue tent and they widened. The house of mirrors! That damn house of mirrors! If you hide inside and Pierrot tries to follow he will have a harder time locating you. They might be able to see in the dark but even they can’t clearly see past an illusion– this is a game of chances!

Taking a sharp turn, and diving right inside the dark blue tent, you were  immediately welcomed by the maze of mirrors. It looked different since last time you had been here and you don’t know if it was your impression but the shadows reflected on the surface were closely keeping an eye on you– their wide eyes, hitting the mirror with their closed fists in mute begging for help.

Unfortunately, you were also running away from becoming one of them. Rushing deeper in the maze, squeezing yourself between tall and thin frames, ducking under the supports whenever you thought your eyes caught sight of a red flash. Inside the blue tent wasn’t as dark as the one you were previously in, allowing you to keep your flashlight turned off and still manage to navigate around.

By now Pierrot should’ve been already inside, if his cries echoing everywhere weren’t enough proof– this is your occasion to slip away and search for an exit. Perhaps sneaking inside one of the vendor's trucks? Or even through the communal bathroom– they were attached to the town’s gym and from there you can go out through the emergency door that leads to the main road. It is equipped with a lot of alleyways you can hide in.

You made your way back inside a familiar room, dotted with mirrors on both sides and a huge one at the end of the corridor. Memories came back crashing in your mind and, meanwhile them being not at all pleasant, you could see the exist just past the last mirror. With a shaky exhale, you threw one last glance behind your back to make sure that Pierrot was still lost in the previous rooms and then started your journey to complete this last chamber.

Oh, but if there was something you should’ve learned it was that nothing it’s easy to achieve.

“Darling, how come you are in such a hurry?”

Your steps faltered when Ticket Taker’s voice reached your ears, making you snap your head around to try and locate where he could be “You look in so much distress, darling guest. Did you get lost?” it sounded like he was speaking from your right, yet when you turned your head in that direction, nothing but your reflection in the green lighted mirror welcomed you.

“Or perhaps. . .” his voice came from the left “You have found the trick behind our performances?” and once again, nothing but more of your wide eyes welcomed you followed by a snap of finger “Or did you? Are you sure what you have seen was real?”  and now he was everywhere. His reflection painted in every single mirror, no matter where it was placed, and all looking directly at your figure– like you were the main attraction in a performance.

You took a tentative step back, not even sure where you could point your bare back as everything suddenly felt like a threat. In the middle of your panic and confusion, the reflection on the mirror to your right started moving differently from the others, catching your attention– oh if it caught your attention. It definitely did when Ticket Taker himself started emerging from the mirror surface.

First his gloves, finger peeking out like it was simply water, then his top hat followed after– together with his head and his body. Tick–Ticket Taker can get inside mirrors?! They have powers now?! Why are you even surprised? Monsters exist, them having powers should almost be expected.

“You shouldn’t always trust your eyes, darling guest” the half out heterochromatic eyed monster chuckled, his grin widening and almost splitting his face in half. Which was weird. Why would he be happy? Ticket Taker. . .the rule obsessed guy himself is happy that you just found out one of the Circus’ secrets?

It was too late when you understood the reasoning, too late for you to react when two arms wrapped around your figure from behind and dragged you back. A grunt escaped your lips when your body collided against another one, biting your lip in pain at the feeling of more sharp nails digging in your flesh, almost drawing blood “They could deceive you” 

Ticket Taker voice hit your ears, his breath making your skin prickle. Re-opening your eyes, now the shapeshifter monster that was once coming out from the mirror in front of you disappeared into thin air, letting you gaze at your reflection and especially at another Ticket Taker holding you. Damn it! That one had been a trap!

“Don’t worry darling, this will take little time” you heard the man behind you say, watching him lift his mask slightly from the reflection and revealing a set of teeth too close to your neck “Do not move around too much, I would hate to hurt you more than necessary. That wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me” and with horror, you saw his mouth open and moving over your neck– like he wanted to bite it.

Panic once again took over and, instinctively, you did the first thing that came to your mind when a mirror hopping entity was about to eat you alive. . .you tore one of your hands away and punched the mirror behind your back as hard as you could. A loud *CRASH!* echoed in the room, together with Ticket Taker curses as he dissolved back inside one of the shards.

You bit your lip in pain, feeling the sharp shard getting stuck in your flesh and the blood quickly trailing down your arm and hand– but there was no time to waste and you pushed yourself forward without even caring if Pierrot was on his way after the loud noise you made, nor if Ticket Taker was currently getting out of another mirror.

You simply ran. Out of the blue tent.

And into the black one.

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

A/N: MC and their survival instincts of a navy seal </3

They didn't survive a 1 VS 3 for nothing guys! Give them more credit!

Also yea, Columbina is as crazy as the rest of the crew. She is completely traumatized by being forced to be a spirit so of course she will lose her mind too. Good luck really, because a crazy lady with your best friend body might be the hardest obstacle.

[¹]Volte aqui, eu imploro! = Come back, I beg of you!

I remember jester saying in one chapter how we are one of his many obsessions does that mean he’s done the same thing before with all the other sacrifices or just with us?

And it’s ironic how harlequin is truly in love with us out of all of them.

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

When talking about 'love' with Pierrot –or any yandere characters really– we have to keep in mind that the line between that and fixation is extremely blurry. It is not love in the pure sense as love do not get you to drug your crush, try to take away their agency or hurt those around them.

It had been explored a little already in the 'Ring Ring goes the telephone' chapter with MC pointing out how Pierrot never really saw them or their flaws and his messed up perception saw everything they did as the right thing even when sometimes it wasn’t. That idolization dehumanized MC to try and mold them in whatever fantasy he constructed.

It was never healty– maybe it could have worked in another universe– but not here.

As for the 'has he done the same with the other saceifices?'line– at the time Pierrot was not aware that Jester chose MC to be the next potential host as he kept it hidden from Harlequin and Pierrot knowing that they would have protested. Pierrot had never been interested in hosts more than acknowledging that they were a possibility for Columbina to come back.

His opinion and fixation on MC was formed completely outside the Circus' grounds and only once Columbina did come back he had been informed– maybe. I can see Jester or Ticket Taker keep it a secret to keep the peace.

As for Harlequin 👅

I will do a note on the next chapters to explain more why some humans are more prone to be better hosts than others. And it will explain the bond between Harlequin and MC better–

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

It's hard to say. On one hand the Circus crew was used to MC being human, they built their beliefs around them while keeping in mind their nature. Especially when we talk about Jester and Ticket Taker– it would be especially hypocritical of them to suddenly switch up on MC just because they are a monster now.

After all, it's still MC nothing (apart their looks) changed from when they were human.

I can see it being an advantage for MC as the Circus definitely won't expect this sudden change, buying them more time to escape or stay hidden from them. Depending on what type of monster they turned into, they could also fight.

Some disadvantages though. . .can't be seen by humans (even if there is Blake or Samuel to help them)– has to eat human meat or the closest thing at least– and the whold having to get used to a body that's not yours -> I can see Jester perhaps use that to manipulate MC that they need the Circus now more than ever.

In the case that MC gets caught and dragged back at the Circus, surely Doctor would immediately go on and do a medical check up to understand their new nature (he would also be extremely curious on how this happened– had the grimoire been responsible? Did you accidentally do a ritual to turn monster?)

Pierrot would NOT leave your side. Not now that he has you back, not ever again. It could very be that at the start he would not let anyone get closer to you– not even Columbina– growling and baring teeth and knives.

Eventually though he would calm down when Ticket Taker and Jester promised him that you won't go anywhere ever again. And they mean that.

Him and Columbina would be the main ones who will help you get used to being a monster, being patient and understanding, teaching you everything there is to know. Especially the pink eyed monster– after all she knows better than anyone how it feels to not be used to a new body.

Harlequin. . .is conflicted. Give him a minute to also get used to this change. Ah– but don't think that he will leave you alone– OH NO! The chase is over and you lost, he WILL get his reward be sure of that.

Jester and Ticket Taker don't know what to do with you. In the sense, they always knew one way or another you would be back in their grasps. . .but not as a monster.

The idea of keeping a human in a cage was quite appealing. . .but now a monster? Bad memories always come up with it.

What to do? What to do?

Previous part <-

Next part ->

[You can find faster update both on Quotev and Wattpad] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 19: Ring Ring goes the telephone

__Before starting! Warning! WARNING! 

From this chapter on, things WILL get ugly and dark DARK. But REALLY dark. I'm talking about Chainsaw man level of dark. It won't be NSFW but it WILL be disturbing nonetheless and the warning at the starting of the fanfic will be heavily applied.

PLEASE, I ask of you, if you are under age this is not the content for you. I know I can't physically stop you from continuing to read this, and I know that you think you have seen worst but, first of all, the VN was thought for an adult audience, it has adult themes AND SO IT WILL HAVE THIS FIC FROM NOW ON.

Out of respect for me and Neko, if you are under 15 (at least) the fic is over for you now. The MC decided that the Circus life was not that bad, the Circus crew welcomed them with open arms and they all went to see Livia graduation. Happy ending!

Because from here on its gonna be heavy. Angst! Angst! Angst! Trauma! Angst! Angst! You are gonna hate your favorite character, I can assure you that.

This will be your only warning. Don't get caught being a minor and for God's sake dont comment your age__

{~♤♡◇♧~}

Two sharp eyes stared down at you, hate visible behind the sunglasses covering them while fierce red lips were pulled into a nasty snarl. You nervously toyed with the rim of a chalice, the water inside swirling slowly as your eyes followed the movement rather than settling on the older woman sitting in front of you.

How. . .How did you end up in a situation like this?

Before Livia’s parents divorced, you used to come to this house rather frequently but since Ciela moved it, she had made it extremely clear that you weren’t welcomed in. You never liked the woman. Livia never liked the woman. Your parents never met her before the. . .point is. No one ever liked this woman.

It’s a wonder why Livia’s father even ended up marrying her.

And Ciela never liked you.

Yet there you were, sitting on her luxurious couch, drinking from her luxurious glasses, breathing her luxurious air, being in her luxurious sight. And you were a mess at the moment, a very nervous mess. Because this woman could be really terrifying when she wanted–no wonder she is a rather successful business woman with that cold stare of hers. Even you would obey her orders without question.

“You are here” she finally said, placing her wine chalice down on the coffee table diving you two with a soft *Cling*. A cold statement. Not a ‘Thank you for your time’, or a ‘How has the journey been?’ nor a simple ‘Thank you for coming after I called you in an ungodly hour’.

Not that you expected anything really, but still.

The urge to whip out some sarcastic remark was strong, but you bit down your tongue and nodded, subtly searching with your eyes to catch a glimpse of Livia somewhere “That I did” Ciela hummed, opening her fan in a way that covered your vision– of course she knew what she was doing and soon enough your attention was back on her.

“I called you here to discuss some. . .things about you and my. . .step-daughter” at her words, you felt yourself tensing, wondering what the witch may be planning now “As you might know, however I have my strong doubts about that, since joining this family I had tried to mend all that mess the previous. . .Lady left in my care. Such an undisciplined child was O’Liva when I arrived. . .not a pinch of respect nor politeness in that girl”

You still remember when you were thirteen and Livia’s step-mother just entered the picture, how much she cried on your shoulder asking why on earth was this new woman so mean to her? Why was she so harsh and strict and criticising her constantly.

Ciela never lifted a hand on Livia, but she never had to.

Then there was the fact that she hated Livia’s birth mother for whatever motive, but you guessed that just a common factor with new partners and exes or something like that. More often than not, she blamed all the family problems on her and openly bad-mouthed her in front of Livia herself.

“That’s to say” Ciela brought the wine glass to her lips, taking a sip “I no longer want you and her to interact”

.

.

.

.

.

“Uh?”

You must have heard wrong, yes. . .Ciela says weird things so this must be another one of them. Because you haven’t just heard her tell you to stop being friends with your Livia.

“Do not look so confused ____, I haven’t used words that aren’t above the elementary comprehension level. I did hope you could at least understand them, was I wrong?” Ciela narrowed her eyes just as you quickly shook your head “No, I did hear you Miss Ciela, it’s just. . .excuse my vulgar language but I’m seriously hoping you are joking right now” as expected you were totally opposed to this request.

The older woman kept her eyes on you before slightly tilting her head down “I do not joke, ____. As a matter of fact I should've had this conversation a long time ago” she then pointed one of her long nails toward you “I worked so hard to fix the mistakes of that woman, to make sure that O’Livia could have a proper successful life. The world out there is cruel and harsh to women like her”

Her tone got firmer but never louder “Polite, smart, a good career, I thank the stars all the days that she willingly chose the medical field. One less hassle to deal with at least. . .yet. . .yet there was still something. . .something that kept tainting her life” her eyes narrowed dangerously “You”

Your heart missed a beat for a second, dread and anger washing over you at the same time while a sense of deja-vu knocked on the door of your memories.

Ciela scoffed, leaning back on her couch “Why she is keeping you in her life is a mystery to me, especially when all you are doing is dragging her down” your fingers curled in your lap from frustration, teeth biting harshly the inside of your cheek “You are nowhere near the standards I placed for her. . .too rowdy. . .to impulsive. . .too much of a punk. Look at those injuries. Do you perhaps pick fights? How do you pretend of me, a mother, to be okay with such knowledge”

You hung your head further down, your hair framing your blank expression as she just went on and on berating you without missing a beat and the worst part? Is that you can’t blame her. You can’t say that she was lying because it is true that you are too rowdy. It is true that you just picked a stupid fight because you childishly wanted to take revenge.

It is true that you are not a good friend.

“And dear O’Livia started picking after you! At this rate she will soon leave medic school so near her graduation and go who knows where! You are like a curse. Making the worst out of people come out”

It is true that you are a bad person.

“I. . .I learned my lesson. . .” you tried to weakly argue back, trying to explain that you finally saw your mistakes and that you won’t repeat them. Those days are over, you. . .you can be a good version of yourself and won’t be a burden further “I’m not. . .gonna pick fights–”

“That won’t be enough!” Ciela cuts you off harshly, making you flinch “No, no, you already have done enough damage good lord. To think that a sweet girl like O’Livia would do something as rebellious as running away mere nights before her finals! She must have learned that from you, stars” she sighed in exhaustion, pinching the bridge of her nose with a shake of her head.

You froze in your spot, snapping your head up with wide eyes and shock written all over your face “She. . .ran away? What do you mean Livia ran away?!”

Ciela clicked her tongue and scoffed “Out of all the bad habits you had to imprint on her it had to be running from home. . .when she was underage it was easier to deal with. But now that she is an adult the police won’t listen to me since she is ‘capable of making her own decisions’. . .but I know that you have something to do with it. So tell me.” then glared at you, such a glare that almost made you curl on yourself.

“You better bring O’Livia back here in time for tomorrow. I know you know where she is. . .and so god help me, if she fails her last exam about medicine I will make sure you fail in life. And after that. . .”

“Stay out of her life forever. You are nothing but a disgrace”

.

.

.

Leaving that house once brought you a sense of sadness, knowing that playtime was over, but now? Now you felt nothing more than a hollow shell. The power that woman had on people needed to be studied because you didn’t feel like a person anymore. She destroyed you from the inside out. . .and she didn’t even have to use force.

You were left to look at your tired expression on the mirror of your bike as a strom of thoughts slammed on the walls of your mind. What if. . .What if Ciela was right? After all, didn’t Nate also say something similar? That you were a curse? That you were dragging Livia down? Maybe. . .Maybe she would be better without yo–

WOAH THERE! Slow down with that sentence! Now it’s not the time!

Livia ran away who knows where. 

Your house couldn’t be. It burned down after all. So she must have gone somewhere else. . .but where exactly?

Mulling over the possibilities, you suddenly remembered that you and her used to have your location active on your phones. Surely, that way, you will easily find her! It is worrying that she hasn’t answered you in these last few days. . .so hopefully she hasn’t left her phone at home.

However, to your luck, the GPS in her phone seemed to work–and it wasn’t pointing at her house but. . .at the Circus?

Right! Last time she ran away, she went to Ticket Taker because you weren’t at home! Maybe she went there again because she saw your house burned down? That could be an explanation.

The ride back to the Circus took quite some time, as Ciela house was a city away from your town and, while taking the train like Livia usually did. . .you would rather get caught under heavy rain with your bike than get on something like that ever again.

Once you arrived, you were welcomed by the sight of the Circus starting to look more and more skeletal. Most of the biggest tents were already taken down, with the exception of Ticket Taker’s, Columbina’s and the black tents. Checking the GPS once more, it pointed to one of the smaller tents, tucked away in the far back of the Circus.

You walked closer and slipped inside, noticing just how dark it was. You took out a torch you took with yourself and turned it on, revealing a singular table in the center with documents and books over it. But no sight of Livia. . .weird. . .ah, but knowing her, she probably offered to help take down the tents.

Your eyes caught sight of a very familiar maroon book, there, without any Jester around guarding it, all alone. . .you bit your lip in curiosity, dying to know what was its content and why it made Jester so attached to it. . .it won’t hurt. . .if you read just a couple of pages, right?

You basically rushed toward the grimoire like a happy child and opened it.

Your eyes skimmed over the pages of the ancient book, fingers brushing over the ink– taking care to not smudge or ruin it, seeing as it was all hand written. It was weird, something like this looked to belong in some sort of museum about old relics or perhaps as a diary about the time period it was written in. . .maybe a museum about the supernatural– just right beside the Annabelle doll. 

You wonder what might be the content of the book, leafing through the pages, finding it hard to understand the words  inside when it was all written in cursive and especially in an older version of your language, mainly forgotten if not by older professors or historian fanatics. Your eyes managed to read the titles, raging from witch-craft and how to make spells or curses to down right satanic rituals.  

You saw a way to make your enemy be struck by seven years of bad luck, smiling to yourself at the idea of making the concoction for Nate before shaking your head. You were done with all the revenge thing, you have matured “Gather a couple of hair strands from the person thou summon to place this beshrew on. . .thou hast to be sure they are plucked from the root of the hair and tie 'em up with a wax seal mixed with the person blood– Woah!” you scrunched your nose and grinned “This book certainly doesn’t hold back”

Led by morbid curiosity, you began to look at the contest of the rest of the book– disappointed whenever some of the information faded away. You managed to read spells tied to sorcery– how to make someone fall in love with you– how to communicate with spirits– how to build salt circles to protect yourself from evil– there was literally everything a paranormal fanatic could desire. . .and in a scarily detailed description.

“How to ward off evil spirits. . .a guide for summoning your ancestor. . .uhm?” turning the next page brought you to a new section, called ‘Rituals’ with big bold letters in the middle of the page “Chapter one. .how to tie a wandering soul back to their corporal agent” It seems like you stumbled to some sort of cultish thing. Turning to the next page, you were welcomed by a wall of words and next to the drawing of a summoning circle perhaps. Your eyes snapped over the title in curiosity “The summoning ritual to bring a human soul back to life”

—”Wishing for someone you lost to come back is a common heart-wrenching desire all beings with a soul are bound to feel, albeit in different degrees. Before starting considering going through with the ritual, it is important that the soul you are trying to bring back is still wandering on earth. If they already joined Mother Nature's immense existence– the chances of bringing back someone or something undesired are higher.”

—”First of all, after making sure that the spirit is still among the living, is it required to gather a suitable host that will be inhabited by the spirit itself. It is recommended to find one near the same age, gender and race as the spirit’s previous body for a smooth transition. Additionally it is required for the host to have a certain. . .affinity with the spirit. To check out the affinity, the host has to establish a connection with the spirit. Meaning that they are able to see and interact with them, their personality and belief must be as close as possible– a complete doppelganger.”

—”If such a host is not available or does not exist, do not fear. Anything as close as possible is still gonna be fine, the only requirement that can’t be ignored is them being able to interact and see the spirit. If it’s the case that you have in your hands a semi compatible host, then it is required for you to prepare them before starting the ritual. This period can vary from host to host, taking up from a couple of days up to months, depending on their affinity.”

Your eyes narrowed, the light of your torch lighting up the weird words on paper while an uncomfortable dread started swimming in your guts.

—First, you have to gather some blood from the future host, it will be required to draw the circle to permit the maximum power. Same thing with taking a portion of their hair, saliva and breath”

Somehow, you couldn’t help but think back to when Doctor visited you. Insisting on getting your blood himself instead of letting you go and have the results from a clinic. 

—”The blood from a vein in the arm is to be the best as it's closer to the heart”

The puncture on your inner elbow throbbed.

—”It is necessary for the transition between souls to go smoothly if the host gets to spend as much time as possible in the places the previous person used to live in. A city, a house, a room. To help with it, is it recommendable to also make them wear their clothes, follow their routine and preferably follow the same diet. In addition, calling them by their name might help.”

The words made a shiver run down your spine. To pretend that someone is the exact replica of the dead person. . .that’s another level of delusion you hope to never reach. Grief was hard, you are too well aware of that, but to be this attached to the past. . .was it a good idea to feed such lies to already broken people?

You felt chills all over your body.

But maybe that was because funnily enough. . .you seemed to have gone through something similar to this ‘host’. . .how funny. . .how funny that you can’t help but overlap your experiences with a silly book when–WHEN–

—”The host has to be kept monitored as long as possible.”

Oh, how your life has been filled with just the circus these last weeks.

—”The host has to be unaware to preserve their cognitive functions.”

Oh, how Ticket Taker and Jester made their best to hide things from you. . .shady things. . .things, that even if they were monsters, still had no business being kept away with so much dread and insistence.

—”Under no circumstances the host has to sustain wound, nor their health has to degrade”

Oh. . .how angry was everyone once seeing you hurt. . .or were they? Maybe that was just frustration and annoyance instead. Frustrated that you ruined yourself. . .

Your eyes swept over the words quicker, your lips pressing together and teeth sinking in your tongue while everything was slowly starting to blink together. The content was becoming a mess, you weren’t even sure if you were still reading or simply lost– no longer able to push away all the questions you have swept away for this Circus.

—”Once the host is ready, the ritual can start. It is necessary to draw the summoning circle represented beside, strictly following these passages and the same exact amount of materials requested. Failing to do so could tear both souls into nothingness or mix them inside a body fighting for control. The human soul will be able to inhabit the human body in the small fraction after you have killed the host”

The beating of your frantic heart echoed in your ears, an ugly sense of deja vu eating your insides while an unexplainable sense of dread washed all over you. Your trembling hand flipped the page, perhaps a bit too hard–yet all you could do was freeze when you read the title over it ‘How to tie a wandering monster soul back to earth.'

A wandering. . .monster soul. . .?

Monster– this book is talking about the same monsters you just discovered being real.

Thump, thump, went the heart behind your ribcage– slamming itself while you read “While monsters possess souls as well as humans, they are functionally different from them for they miss the most crucial passage for the ritual. . .a host. . .”

—”A host is someone who should function as the new link to the living plane, someone who looked and acted like them. And especially someone who has a connection with the spirit. For monsters is far more complicated for they are cut off from the spirit world”

“It is required a human then. A human host– but just a human isn't enough since they will never look like the monster you are trying to get back. For that you also need to gather animal meat but even just more human meat is gonna be fi–Okay what the hell?!” You harshly took a step back, expression twisting into a grimace and eyebrows furrowing in shock.

Your sudden movement prompted the book to be pushed away, falling down from the table and onto the floor with a ‘THUMP!’, scattering around photos you weren’t aware were tucked inside the pages. Not when you were too busy with not freaking out.

What kind of book was that–why the hell would Jester be so obsessed with a book like this–!? 

A-Ah! You are exaggerating now, take a deep breath. You are letting a simple book mess with you for no goddamn reason. Getting heated up just because it's a creepy old thing and seemingly feeling called out was not cool at all–. . .uh?

Among the sea of photos, a specific one attracted your attention. 

A woman. . .blonde long wavy hair. . .deep blue eyes. . .she wasn’t looking at the camera. Like the photo was caught without her knowledge. All around was a mess of bright colorful lights, people caught in a blurred movement, all except for this lady standing still and giving the camera her profile while she was talking to someone.

Someone tall, so tall that his face was just out of the frame– yet your heart couldn’t help but get stuck in your throat as your finger shakingly touched over the white uniform of the performer– looking at the black pom-pom in the middle, the long sleeves covering his hands, the single  liripipe down to his waist. He looked just like a. . .

Pierrot.

But his uncanny similarity with your Pierrot wasn’t what made a chill run down your spine–no. . .after all this was a book that Jester held close to him, may–maybe these were family photos or confiscated from visitors caught taking pictures–no.

That wasn’t the reason for your uneasiness as much as recognizing the woman in it.

That blonde haired woman, with a sweet smile. A picture you have seen plenty of times in Mister Blake house, as the home screen in Samuel’s phone, plastered in missing posters all over the city.

Thalia.

Oh god. . .that. . .that was really Thalia wasn’t it?

Talking with. . .Pierrot? Or at least a past form of him– whe-when was this photo taken?!

Almost feeling your torch slip past your fingers, from how much they were trembling, you lifted the photo closer and turned it around, eyeing the neatly handwritten 13/06/2XXX. . .just five years ago. . .the same date that Thalia went missing.

Mister Blake did tell you that she was last seen in a Circus, to think this being said Circus though. . .moreover, why do they have a missing person photo with them? Why keep it? What were the rest of the photos?

With your heart loudly beating in your ears, you started frantically picking up the rest of the picture, turning them around, eyeing every single person that got unknowingly captured forever in them. There was a man with his back turned, looking at the plushies in one of the vendors' stalls. A young adult caught mid laugh while eating cotton candy. A redhead male speaking with a performer wearing a uniform identical to the Arlecchino from Commedia dell’Arte. And more. And MORE.

Your head started spinning while you read each date behind, it was always the same place. This town, or at least nearby. The days varied but the years had a usual pattern. Five years. Each five years a different person.

Your eyes snapped on the book laying on the ground and you hastily grabbed it, eyes sweeping over the words till ending up in one of the warnings ‘Once tried the ritual there has to be a 5 years gap before it could be attempted again’.

You felt light, you felt nauseant.

There were so many coincidences. . .so many oddities you can no longer ignore.

And then there it was, a singular photo far away from the pile of others. It must have slid away when you threw the book to the ground. You slowly got closer. It was face down. 05/04/2XXX.

This year.

This month.

Just barely more than a week ago.

You felt your breath pick up, your limbs going numb and light as you knelt beside it before slowly picking the corner and then quickly turning it around.

Cold.

An unbearable cold washed all over as your wide eyes held eye contact with. . .yourself. Just like the others, your picture-self seemed unaware of the photo being taken– too busy with standing in the middle of the Circus and gazing toward the pink tent while harsh blurred lights danced all around you. Almost like a cage.

A red circle made with a marker, surrounded your head which was connected to a series of words with an arrow. The urge to not read anything and simply tuck away every single photo you had the misfortune of seeing and pretend like you knew nothing of this cultish bullshit. But a part in you wrapped its hand around your throat, pointing out how you were too far now to forget everything.

And it was right. Damn it if it was right. This time. . .you couldn’t cover your eyes just because they said so.

Finding the courage to finally read what you avoided with all yourself, the phrase said only one simple thing ‘This time, the host will work. We will bring her back’.

. . .

Ah. . .

Ah. . .a-ah. . .

You must have read wrong. . .

You surely have–! 

A host. . .you. . .

“My dear”

Pierrot’s voice called out your name from behind, pushing aside the tent’s flap and welcoming himself inside “I have something I wish for you to try. A new cake I baked with Columbina. Why don’t you have a bite?” his voice was joyful, a harsh contrast with the feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach and somehow. . .his voice was no longer a beacon of comfort for you. Not when all you could think was him speaking with Thalia on the night she disappeared.

Turning around, you were welcomed by him smiling down at you– a slice of cake in his hands as he proclaimed. You thought back at the stark contrast of him in these last days from what you were used to. The way he started to act weirdly after you got seriously hurt. . .the way he didn’t seem sad in the slightless at the knowledge of going away when he begged you so heartily to keep coming to the circus–Oh. . .

That was why he insisted so much. . .they. . .they wanted to keep you close to be used as a host for whatever monster they are trying to get back.

With this knowledge. . .so many things suddenly acquired a whole different light.

“My dear?” Pierrot murmured softly, his smile stretching with a bit of uneasiness when he noticed your shell shocked expression. Those beautiful eyes he oh so much love, so wide and terrified at the same time.

“Do you know a Thalia?” the words tumbled out of your lips faster than you intended as you quickly stood to your feet and tried to keep your heart from bursting out “Thalia?” Pierrot repeated, tilting his head to the side “Five years ago, blonde hair, brown eyes– she went missing. The town is upholstered with her missing posters” you pushed on, the torch in your hands illuminating his wide smile.

“I’m afraid. . .” Pierrot started slowly, carefully. . .too carefully for someone like him “It’s hard for me to know someone from a town I never visited” and the corner of his grin lifted higher as he bluntly lied to your face “But no matter. Why don’t you try my new cake–?”

“I don’t wanna” you cut him off, plunging the tent into a loud silence.

“You. . .don’t want to?” he repeated with a slight disbelieved tone, after all. . .you never refused him “You seem pretty stressed, my dear. Have you eaten? You know what Doctor says about breakfas–”

“I said that I don’t want it!” the words came out louder than you intended as you took a quick step back. Something that did not go unnoticed by Pierrot who now grew quiet and his smile tugged into a blank expression but you didn’t care, all you wanted was to go away from this Circus so you could process everything you saw “Why are you so insistent with me eating that cake?”

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, your mind pushing on the surface every single time you have eaten something from the circus–from Pierrot and linking an unsettling pattern “Everytime I eat something. . .I always have some weird memory gaps. . .I always feel sick. . .I–” 

You always seem to fall asleep or forget what happened later. That food. . .that food had always had something in it, didn’t it? It wasn’t stress, it wasn’t your imagination, it never was. And when Pierrot gave you that cake slice after you told him you wanted to go home. . .a-and you swapped the two of them. . .he fell asleep after eating what was supposed to be your slice.

The food is drugged.

Immediately your eyes snapped on the cake in Pierrot’s hands and he followed your gaze, prompting his claws to dig in the ceramic and leaving dents as the air around got extremely tense. It seems that you figured out a bit too much. 

“My dear. . .” Pierrot breathed out, slowly following your every movement with his golden eyes– in such a way that it reminded you of a cat keeping a close eye to a bird “I love you” he then confessed out of nowhere, making your skin prickle from the whiplash of such a statement. 

“What. . .” you muttered out, wide eyes and muscles stiffening further.

Pierrot, however, seemed to not care because he took a step further, the blank look turning back into a joyous one– the corner of his lips stretching so much that it looked to be splitting his face in half. He was in front of the only source of light, casting a shadow over his feature yet his eyes still managed to be visible– like they were a source of light themselves.

“I love you, my dear” he repeated with a shiver running down his own spine and the heart pounding furiously against his ribcage while he tilted his head to an uncomfortable degree “I always loved you since first landing my eyes on you, since you came to my aid against that human male. Don’t be so afraid!” despite those words supposedly having a positive connotation, all you could feel was an immense fear coiling around your lungs.

“I love you so much I want to tear my own heart out and bare it for you to see! For you to grasp just how much I would do for you, so–!” he gasped out, breaths elaborated like he had just run, taking a step closer “Why are you looking at me like I’m a monster?” at those words you exhaled shakingly, trying to bare enough courage to not seem absolutely terrified, especially knowing you were basically cornered with a monster who is planning to sacrifice you.

“Oh, my dear savior. . .my perfect love. . .it feels so good to finally get all of this out in the open, albeit I hoped for a better setting. . .” Pierrot went on, not giving you time to cut it and speak, even less to find a plausible explanation “But I can no longer hold back–! I want you–! I need you more than anything, I love you–Ohhh if I love you, I think I would not know how to breath without you”

Your heart kept hammering in your ears as Pierrot continued his nonsense about loving you, rambling over and over, so fast it was starting to get hard to follow. It was starting to get hard and convince yourself this was the same friend you spent time together. He was so terrifying and unstable at the moment.

“I love you–I know I shouldn’t for you are so perfect and I'm a nobody but I can’t lie to myself. I ache for you, I crave your kindness, your sweetness, your willingness to choose me. . .” he reached a point in his own monologue where he started to drool. You could see his saliva leaking from the smile on his mask and trailing down his chin. Paired with those two golden eyes fixed on watching you with so much hunger made you feel like you are about to be his next meal.

“You are lying. . .” you swallowed, taking a step back “Uh?” Pierrot blinked in confusion and you went on, more determined “You don’t love me, you are lying to yourself” that got a nervous chuckle out of the silver haired man “What are you talking, my love? I’m mostly sure these feelings I have for you are one of devotion. . .and what better devotion there is that is not love?!” 

Shaking your head, you denied it “You are wrong! You are not in love with me! You never were! You were in love with the idea of what I was to you” 

Pierrot shook his head in turn, now his heart was beating more out of fear to have given you the wrong hints rather than love “I do love you! This burning sensation that I feel is—”

“You don’t love me! Not the real me!” you cut him off again and again and again whenever he tried to repeat the same ‘I love you’ bullshit, the grip on your torch getting the more painful together with anger climbing up your veins “Well then! Tell me! Tell me my worst traits!” you snapped and immediately Pierrot froze.

He froze because he didn’t know what to say. After all. . .his amazing dear did not have a single wrong trait, no. . .if someone had a problem with them was only because they were the rotten ones. No. . .His darling was truly “Perfect. . .” he sighed dreamily “You are perfect–is this a trick question? Why are you asking me something so impossible? You are literally the most amazing human being on earth, what is there for me to dislike? I would do anything for you”

So. . .it was as you imagined. . .he. . .he is delusional. . .or maybe he is still trying to trick you and shoving lie after lie down your throat. It doesn’t matter as this confirms everything.

“No. . .” you shook your head with a grimace “No. . .no, no, no, you are so wrong–I’m far from being perfect. I’m so flawed– someone who could never aspire to be defined as a savior. I’m impulsive– stubborn– petty– aggressive–!”

“Oh my dear. . .I only see the best that there is in you” Pierrot tried again, his eyebrows furrowed like he was trying to convince you–!

. . .

“Then you have never seen me in the first place”

Those words felt like a dagger piercing his heart.

“D-Dear–”

You felt your intestine twist with anger as he just wouldn’t stop “Why the hell should I trust you when you guys want to sacrifice me, Pierrot?!”

He flinched–he actually flinched, eyebrows furrowing in worry while his smile wavered for a second before he forced it back “No, no, my dear– you are mistaken! We would never sa-sacrifice you! Where are you taking that–?!”

“Stop lying! For once stop lying to yourself and me! Do you think that I’m stupid?! This book–!” you pointed the torch at grimoire “Had an awfully similar experience to mine!” 

Pierrot felt himself starting to panic, not expecting for Jester to leave the grimoire out in the open “No! That wasn’t you–!”

Oh? So now he is not even denying the fact that they wanted to do a ritual?!

“That big red circle would say otherwis–!”

“We used the other one to bring Columbina back! I would’ve never allowed the other to use you!”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

". . ."

You felt your heart drop to your stomach as you mutely stared at Pierrot with wide eyes. He stared back at you with the same shock, like he let something slip up.

“The. . .the other one. . .?” you repeated under your breath only for a horrible feeling to take hold of your guts “Pierrot. . .”

“Where is Livia?”

Two golden eyes just stared at you intensely, then–

The soft ringing tone of a phone echoed inside the tent, that ringtone you were so familiar with. . .that ringtone that sounds just like your favorite song. . .that ringtone she chose for you especially.

Your eyes were pinned to the floor, your left hand held your phone shook as a choked breath slipped past your lips in realization. Then your gaze snapped over the performer in front of you, the beating of your heart was the only thing you could focus on and the doom choking you.

You took a step back–

“Don’t.” Pierrot’s voice came out cold, stern yet also desperate “If you run away. . .I will be forced to hunt you down. Just. . .just come here”

He stretched his claw toward you, smile wide– unnerving– on the edge of snapping.

You looked at it for one more second.

Then turned on your heels and sprinted away–

*CRASH!*

With the sound of the ceramic plate smashing down on the ground.

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

-VOLUME 1: The end-

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A/N: Soooooo guuuuuys!?!?!? How do we feel?!?!?!? Volume 1 officially ended and from the next chapter Volume 2 will start!!!! No more rose tinted glasses, the real fucked up horror starts now!

Time to let the monster out.

Ahhhh, I'm so proud of myself for reaching this part! I hope all that build up wasn’t for nothing! Also in the next chapters I plan to make a proper MC and Circus crew relationship analysis on my notes eheheheh. There are so much symbolism I wanna point out!!!

Previous part <-

Next part ->

[You can find faster update both on Quotev and Wattpad] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 18: Cracks

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

You watched Columbina take a step toward you. . .only for her legs to suddenly give up, prompting her to fall to the ground.

In a matter of seconds, everyone sprung in action–with you managing to catch her before she could hit the floor and hurt herself since you were closer than the others. Columbina clung to you, blinking her pink eyes in confusion as she watched her limp legs like they spoke another language and spoke softly “Oh. . .”

A collective sigh of relief echoed in the pink tent, with Jester and Ticket Taker’s shoulders relaxing while Pierrot hovered near you two while looking as concerned as ever. Fixing your grip on the ebony haired girl, you let her lean her tall body against yours as she tried to get her footing back “Oh stars. . .I’m not used to using real legs anymore. . .this is really disorienting. . .” you managed to catch her mumble under her breath, prompting you to tilt your head to the side in confusion.

What. . .what did she mean with that?

Maybe it’s because she had been bedridden for a very long time. . .

“Do not strain yourself, angel. You have been healed just recently so you might be prone to get yourself seriously hurt if you are not careful enough” Doctor reminded, coming closer to check that everything was alright “Doctor is right, Columbina! Please rest at least these first days” Pierrot added with a very worried tone, shifting from one foot to the other– which prompted the girl in your arms to let out a soft laugh “I’m fine guys, really. Please, I don’t wish to make you concerned with my clumsiness”

Grinning at the tender scene, you missed the way Harlequin was looking toward you– or more specifically toward Columbina with an unreadable gaze. His face uncharacteristically blank just like the lack of remarks that were usual to tumble out of his lips.

"Perhaps it would be best to follow dear Pierrot advice and rest for today” Ticket Taker noted, taking hold of his chin and giving the ebony haired girl almost a fond look. Columbina frowned a bit, clinging harder to you and almost making you fall “B-But! I just met ____ and I already have to say goodbye to them not even an hour after? That’s unfair. I also want to spend time with this cutie like you all did!” she protested, hugging you harder, which resulted in you taking a sharp breath to not accidentally lose balance.

“Mmmh. . .” Jester hummed pensively before a sudden smirk split open his face in half “I guess you might be right, sweet Columbina. Well then. . .you–” and pointed one of his slender fingers at you “--go and spend your miserly human time with angel here”

“Don’t give me orders! I’m not a dog!” your eye twitched in irritation, but thankfully Jester seemed to be in a very good mood because he said nothing. And you have nothing but thank whatever star was up there for this miracle.

Then your eyes landed down and you flinched at Columbina giving you puppy eyes. . .oh no. . .she just discovered your weaknesses! Pretty women!

“You are making it hard to say no. . .fine” and sighed, resigning. With the help of Doctor, you lifted Columbina to sit on your back (since she seemed to have a hard time getting used to her body????) just as Pierrot linked his arm to yours and started leading you out of the pink tent “Let’s go to my tent! We can find something to do there!” leaving Ticket Taker, Jester and the doctor behind.

Harlequin quietly followed you three just a few feet behind.

Columbina yawned over your back as the sun from outside welcomed you into the land of living and you fixed your hold on her, squinting your eyes to get used to the light. Unlucky before, now the Circus was teeming with life. . .way too much life! 

You saw several fools running up and down while carrying boxes of various sizes, vendors shouting orders reached your ears which made your gaze shift around and take in just the mess that was happening. Uh? Is there gonna be some sort of special event? Why is everyone so frantic and busy with tools?

“Hey, what’s going on?” you voiced your curiosity, stopping in your tracks to let two fools who were holding metal poles pass by “Some sort of event?” At your question, Pierrot slowly shook his head– the smile on his face lifting just a bit more “Not at all, my dear. We are actually packing up stuff to get ready and move away”

The new information made you choke on your own saliva, having to do a double take to make sure you heard it right “Move away?! As in. . .the Circus is over?!” weren’t there still like. . .10 days left at least?! What do you mean it’s already over?! How are you gonna pay up the debt you owe?!

Do you–. . .Do you have to say goodbye already to your new friends?”

“I’m afraid that’s because of me” over you, Columbona sighed with a twinge of sadness “Unfortunately, despite me still being a bit weak, the others don’t want to risk it and exploit this window to immediately move to the next city. The journey will be hard and I would be just a weight if I was sick”

You guessed her explanation did make sense. . .yet you couldn’t help but still be a bit sad. . .and worried. Especially worried. Since you have something to pay up. . .unless Jester is feeling generous and simply forgets about that part.

Your eyes snapped over Pierrot, expecting him to be sad– but no. . .he was as happy as a puppy.

Feeling a bit silly to expect him to be also sad to leave you, your cheeks flared up with embarrassment as you snapped your gaze to the ground. Right. . .he might simply be used to this lifestyle. Meet people just to immediately say goodbye to them when the Circus has to leave.

“Hey! I know exactly what we can do before we go away!” Columbina gasped, clapping her hands “Let’s make friendship bracelets! So we can also put our pins in them!” the knowledge made your eyes go wide “Pins? You guys have pins?!” you LOVE shiny objects!

Pierrot nodded in excitement. loving the suggestion, and dragged you faster to his tent– where you slowly let down Columbina while the silver haired man took out, from who knows where, boxes full of beads and strings.

Just then you noticed a certain green performer standing at the entrance of the tent, only for him to give the scene a quick glance and then immediately turn around and disappear.

Your eyes followed Harlequin making his escape out of the tent, hurried, too sloppy for someone like him, as if he was trying to run from something present. Furrowing your brows in concern, you shifted your gaze on Pierrot and Columbina– too busy crafting the perfect friendship bracelet to place their pins as charms. You doubt any of them noticed the ebony haired man leaving their presence, much less the distressed state he seemed to be in.

Usually, you would never run after someone if they wished to be alone. Comforting people was Livia’s thing. However, with all the weird things going on recently, it made your guts twist uncomfortably, having the thought that Harlequin– someone you started to care about as a friend– was suffering for something. Blame whatever you want, at least you want to know what’s wrong.

Maybe you can help.

No more revenge bullshit though. . .you are done with those.

“Guys I’m. . .I’m gonna go and check on Harley quickly” you finally voiced out your concerns, hastily standing up on your feet and placing down the bracelet you were working on “He is acting weird, I’m worried” you didn’t stay long enough to see Pierrot’s eyebrows furrow in question, nor the way Columbina shifted her gaze away nervously as you were already rushing out of the tent before any word could reach your ears.

Outside of the red tent things seemed to get really lively. Fools were walking around, carrying big boxes that contained different props, the vendors themselves even helped with dismantling down the smaller tents while Ticket Taker coordinated everything and everyone for a smooth clean up. From the sight of it, it will take up to two days for the Circus to be fully taken down. It made you wonder just how they were able to set it up under a night in the first place.

Shaking your head, you made your way toward the green tent– pushing aside the flap of the entrance only to remain disappointed when you didn’t catch any sight of the performer you were looking for. If he isn’t anywhere near his usual spots that means that he doesn’t want to be found. . .and where could a green gremlin that doesn’t want to be found be?

Your eyes snapped over where you would park your bike. . .only for your face to fall when you didn’t see it anywhere. Patting down your pocket, you noticed how the keys needed to turn on the bike weren’t there anymore.

That little shit stole your bike. . .

You know where he went.

.

.

.

.

.

Thankfully there is a bus stop on the side of the road, near the start of the path leading to the villa. So you were able to reach it without too much effort and, in about fifteen minutes, there you were. Looking at the woods. . .or more like at your sweet baby left in the same place you did the first time you took Harlequin here. Which means that he was definitely here. Bingo.

Following the path you memorized, you popped right in the familiar open field with the old house right in the center. Nothing much changed since last time you had been here, so that means that no one came here apart from you two. Climbing inside the lower window, you started searching all the deemed safe rooms, straining your ears to catch any sound that might indicate where your friend was hiding.

That’s when you pushed aside a plank, squeezing yourself inside the dining room of the villa, and caught sight of who you were searching all this time on his knees, almost looking like he was. . .trembling? Harley was curled on himself, his green cape forgotten who knows where, shoulders hunched, claws deep in his black curls and even from where you were standing you could hear his elaborated breaths.

He looked so. . .so out of himself.

“Harley?” you called out, letting the wooden plank fall back on its place as you took a step forward yet halted when his head snapped toward you and your breath got stuck in your throat. You weren’t even sure what you were looking at, bright green eyes being the only thing you could recognize in that sea of void that was now his face. Wide eyes, yet pupils as small as pinpricks, shaking wildly, shiny and unpredictable.

Then your attention shifted down in front of him, down on the split white mask on the ground.

For a second you felt yourself light, like what you were watching wasn’t real. Then a barrage of images slapped in your face, Pierrot’s looking horn on his head, the book featuring brazilian folklore with a humanoid animal on the cover, Livia’s confident face as she told you her belief on monsters existing.

Monsters. . .ah. . .right. . .

The puzzle pieces were starting to get too bright to ignore.

Then you heard a laugh, it sounded like a laugh at least, but it was more a choked out gasp mixed with disbelieved laughs. Like Harlequin was torn from screaming his lungs out, laughing or sobbing at the same time “I can’t believe it–you are like a disease! You are everywhere, my mind can’t escape you–are you even real or I’m just finally going fucking insane?!”

You flinched slightly at the harsh tone, yet were more preoccupied when he started dragging his claws (at this point that’s what they were) down his head, digging the nails like he was trying to ground himself “I killed her, you know?” followed by more erratic laughs “I killed Columbina! I-It was either us or her–they wanted to take her away and we couldn’t do anything–I HAD to save her. I HAD to!”

He was speaking, sometimes mumbling words, other times screaming them. Something beneath his uniform was moving, you could see the fabric stretch as if it was being pulled from the inside “I ate her–I TORE her flesh with my teeth and I couldn’t stop– I couldn’t think. It was like my mind was fogged while I just kept e-eating. Bite after bite–AH-!” he choked back another laugh, tears building in the corner of his eyes and sliding down.

You were left frozen, trying to assert the situation and decide what would be the best thing to do. It was obvious that Harlequin was freaking out, spiraling down a rabbit hole you had no clue about. His words made no sense, HE was not making any sense and it was hard even following the string of words vomiting from his mouth. Was he having an episode? He looked like he himself didn’t know if this was real or not, questioning your presence. Calling you an illusion.

However if you let him continuing like this, he will surely hurt himself or even you.

“And then–And then she is back! Just like this! Just like nothing happened! Like what I went through was nothing!” the way his chest went up and down picked up the pace, almost to worryingly degree, was he even breathing enough? It didn’t matter to him, mind in shambles after everything that happened. After the miracle. He should be happy, he should be ecstatic that she is back after the hideous act he had done. He should be happy that things will finally be back how they were in the past–but he can’t.

Guilt will always eat his insides, he will always be hunted for the rest of his life while the others will continue like nothing happened. Why does Pierrot have to get a happy ending? Why is Harlequin the only one who has to keep living with their gazes on him— they just keep looking at him with so much hate–even now!

They won’t stop looking at him like he will snap any time and kill Columbina again. She fear him. Pierrot watches him like a hawk. Jester will linger a bit closer than normal whenever he is in the same room as her.

Like he is a monster.

Like he–

“Ugh–!”

Something suddenly collided with his body, two arms wrapping firmly around his torso and the sheer force of another figure draping themselves over him made his back bend in an awkward angle “What the hel–” the green monster snapped out of his spiraling in favor of trashing around and trying to get off this annoying weight.

You, however, stubbornly clinged on him. Doing your very best to be as unpredictable as possible to distract him from whatever freaking maze he was getting lost in. Harlequin snapped his green eyes down, feeling the prickling sensation all every section of his skin you were touching– it made him clench his teeth, it made him want to shove you off, it made him focus only on you, it made him. . .

. . .it made him not wanting to tear out his own flesh anymore?

“What. . .are you doing. . .?” he growled out, body as stiff as a board, arms awkwardly hovering around your body, not wanting to touch you or return the hug. Like he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. . .it would be kinda funny. . .how a hug could freeze up a monster, but this monster came up to become your friend so now here he is.

It’s all his fault, really.

“Whenever I fell in one of my episodes. . .Livia would come and hug me really really hard, to the point that I couldn’t breath” you finally said, uncharacteristically soft, and placed more pressure the more you spoke– really pressing the ebony haired man against you, like you wanted to merge together “It would always somehow manage to ground me. Her arms around me was all I could think instead of what was hunting me at the moment. So, if it worked with me, I figured that it could work with you since we are partner in crimes”

Harlequin stayed silent, his eyes pinned on the half broken ceiling, his heart beating wildly behind his ribcage, even him could hear it over the storm in his mind. Now that he no longer had tunnel vision and could think a bit clearly, he finally took note of the fact that his mask was laying broken on the ground. . .

Which means that you saw his face. . .

And you went toward him, embraced him, so close that his heart might as well be beating alongside yours, instead of running away?

How could you be this foolish?

“I don’t know what might be your history with Pierrot and Columbina” your voice reached his ears, and the world expanded once again to the villa he was in, to the woods surrounding him “And. . .I don’t know a lot of things about the Circus or about you guys” you went on, the bandage around your swollen eye coming loose with the movements “But you are my friend. I know this. It’s kinda lame from me to admit this but. . .I’m gonna miss you guys when you will go away. . .”

Slowly, his shoulders relaxed. Despite wanting to, he never made any movement to push you off. . .because it felt nice to have someone grounding him for once in his life. Yea. . .this felt nice–YOU felt nice. . .yea. . .that’s right. . .

Hesitantly he laid his arms around you too, the gear in his brain turning as he finally came to a realization. Right. . .why. . .why does he deserve a bad ending after he did only what was necessary for everyone’s survival? Why can’t he also be happy? Why can’t he simply. . .have you?

After all, Pierrot has Columbina back– therefore Harlequin deserves to have you, no? The red performer can’t be greedy and take away every little thing that makes him feel whole. So you are his now, right? You ran all your way here just to find him– you stayed here despite seeing what was under the mask for him– He deserves some happiness too right–?!

His partner in crime. . .his little adorable human. . .

The grip he had around you got tighter as he hid his face in your shoulder. As he hid his ever growing sick grin and the claws dug further against you, almost tearing your clothes and you–. . .oh you adorable thing. . .you hugged him back just as strong, thinking that he was sobbing his woes against you when in reality the storm inside the green eyed monster was simply getting louder and louder.

What if he just claims you right now? What if he sinks his teeth in your flesh right at this moment? That would prove that you are officially his–as a matter of fact. . .

He tilted his head just enough to look at the woods that stood out for miles and miles. Ring, ring goes the statics inside his head.

What if you two ran away together?

The ringing his ears started getting louder, louder, LOUDER–

“I also killed someone”

Then silence.

A heavy, muted silence slapped Harlequin as soon as he processed those words.

Leaning away, he looked down at you with wide unblinking and confused green eyes. You untangled your limbs from his (much to his displeasure) and crossed your legs, leaning your elbow on them and your chin on your open palm before sending him a wide grin “Hey, you guys always tell me stories using a weird story telling method. . .can I try it too?”

He went to open his mouth, yet only managed to close it and just merely nodded.

“Cool” your grin widened and you made yourself comfortable on the dusty floor, the wind picked up ruffling your hair as you took a deep breath and closed your eyes before reopening them to look at the clear sky above.

“A not so long ago, in a city where life was teeming with energy, lived a small family huddled in a house near the outskirts. Until the teen went to their parents, full of life as they tugged at their mother’s sleeve in excitement ‘Mother, mother. You and father had been working so hard lately, let’s go and relax your old bones’ they urged, eyeing the eyebags framing sweet eyes”

“The mother placed a hand over her child’s back, looking tired and hesitant as the place her child wished for them to reach was far away and they both had quite a lot of work to do. Yet the child begged and begged and their love for the offspring meant much more than a couple more coins in their pockets. So they relented. They let their child hold their hands and lead, for they trusted them”

“‘We will take the train’ the teen exclaimed with three tickets in hand ‘For you two deserve the best and the best is known to be quite far away’. So they let the rumbling of metal wheels over the rails transport their worries away and let space for something akin to relief nestling in their ribs. The mother busied herself with reading a book. The father laid his head over her shoulder, closing his eyes to rest. The child stuck to the window, watching the scenery quickly changing with the speed picking up and with it so the whistling in their ears getting louder and louder”

Your lips fell down in a blank frown as you could still hear that taunting sound.

“One second they were looking at the green fields passing by the next. . .the next the sun was blazing down on them, hot, scorching, burning their skin as the ringing in their ears was so unbearable it was making their head explode from the inside. They were not moving, that was the first thing they noticed. The train was not moving, as a matter of fact, they were not moving. Laying on top of something hard and uncomfortable, digging in their flesh, in their legs”

“‘There is someone here!’ ‘Go and get more medical stretchers!’ Voices, shadows, smoke, filling their blurred vision, their nose, until a man entered their vision, checking their eyes before calling someone over with urgency. Oh. . .right. . .the train. . .had been hit by another one in an accident. How unlucky, a day that was supposed to be a celebration turned into tragedy.”

“Medics tore away the teen from their mother’s embrace. Her arm flopping down to the ground, limp as a doll, her face planted down, a mess of hair the only thing sticking out from under all the rubble. The father was nowhere to be seen and even in their confused state, the teen couldn’t help but cry out the name of those they longed to find comfort in this confusing and scary situation”

“‘You had been lucky’ the doctor said. The teen did not feel lucky. ‘If it hadn’t been for your mother shielding your head with her arms. You also would be dead’ The teen was left to stare blankly at the wall with the realization that the nest suddenly went from three to only one little bird. They question themselves if this all had been some kind of higher punishment”

"Perhaps they had been someone despicable in another life, someone whose sins followed them up to this new reality, asking for the debt to be collected. What other reason is there for them to be the sole person to survive when it had been their idea in the first place? Thinking. . .thinking, thinking and thinking. All they did was to think, driving themselves crazy, hoping to find a reason for their heart to still be beating”

“Round and round and round. All that thinking led them to a carousel in the amusement park. Round and round and round goes merry. Round and round and round go their thoughts. Round and round and round goes fate itself” [¹]

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

A/N: The cracks are forming guuuuuuysss. Ehehehehe. I hope I managed to make a smooth transition with MC slowly figuring out and come to term with monsters being real. It's not easy to accept something you thought to be a legend to be actually really. So I hope I managed to show that with MC journey.

I also hope I managed to do the same with the obsessive part of the boys!??!?!?!? Was it a good build up with Harley!?!?!?!?

Either way congratulation!!! You managed to bag a green obsessive monster! Good for you, good for you–or not!?

Because he won't give you up never again nor he will let you run away–but hey! Why would you even run away!? :>

Also, I know this wasn't the tragic backstory everyone thought of, however I'm will already put MC through enough torture in the future chapters. At least let them have a slightly less traumatic backstory– It's still messed up and I WILL be a problem for them in the future. Especially that bad connotation you developed with trains :P

[¹] It's a reference from the shart of the chapter 'Strange Findings'. Or more like, now you know the why of that scene. A small prelude to this.

Previous part <-

Next part ->

[You can find faster update both on Quotev and Wattpad] –for any questions my inbox is open–

Chapter 17: You are still hungry for her

~Don't forget to comment your opinion~

{~♤♡◇♧~}

"So, is anything salvageable?"

Your blank eyes stared at the mass of rubble and debris that was once supposed to be your house. It wasn’t much, nor you spent more than a couple of years living in it– but it felt yours. It was a safe haven to hide in whenever life got too complicated.

It made you feel like an adult and not someone still figuring out their life.

And, while it was covered by insurance– especially in light of these incidents– a lot of your things, furniture and personal affects still were caught in the middle. 

Your shoes stepped over a couple of charred wood planks, crumbling beneath the weight and almost making you stumble and fall. Despite that, though, you didn’t seem phased and kept walking till you reached a small table–or at least what remained of it.

"Hey, kiddo. Everything here is unstable, be careful" a dark haired man peeked his head inside the house' entrance, blue eyes gazing at the burned off ceiling where a hole could be seen probably leading to a studio or a bedroom. He narrowed them in concern, yet did nothing to stop you from walking further inside.

It didn't look like you would listen to him anyway.

You almost made it to your kitchen when your foot accidentally bumped against something, prompting your gaze to shift down and land on a picture frame laying on the ground and buried under a thick layer of ashes. Wrapping your fingers around the half melted plastic, you lifted it up and pushed away the dark dust.

One swipe and it revealed the face of an older woman, her smile pointed at the camera. Another swipe and now the man beside her was visible, eye close, grin wide, hands on someone's shoulders.

Yet when you swiped once again the ashes off, the third person (a child from the look of it) nothing but burnt edges welcomed your vision, erasing your past self from the photo.

What a pity. . .this was one of the last photos you have from your parents' house.

"Look at this mess. Damn it. . ." Blake finally made his way inside the house and reached you, looking at the state your kitchen was reduced– crossing his arms and pressing his lips together "The fire must have started from the kitchen, it's hard to think that anything from here got spared" 

A dark line run along the wall, blending out to the hallway and toward the living room "Then it made its way to the rooms above and toward the living room. . .before the firefighters arrived and put it down. If you are lucky most of the upper rooms might have been untouched. Or at least, most of the things that weren’t made of paper. . .Ah–!"

Tching under his breath, Blake snapped his gaze out of the kitchen "Hopefully your documents didn't get burned off. That would be a real pain to remake from zero. Although you will have to wait for the specialists to come and help you retrieve everything. It's too dangerous to do it alone"

". . ."

Nothing answered his statement if not for a car's engine passing by on the road.

His attention was once again on you, who still didn't dare to move or make any facial expression that wasn’t that damn same blank one you had been wearing for the past hours. It was starting to seriously worry him. Never would have Blake thought to miss your stupid and annoying grin.

"Do you think. . .that I deserved this?" your voice carried a weird weight, like it was tainted with thick oil– making it hard to let the words out. The older man took a second to process what he just heard, eyeing your sagged shoulders and head hung, before sighing and taking a step forward.

"Kiddo. . ." He placed a hand over your shoulder, asking for your attention to be on him so that his next words can pass through that barrier you build. Once he saw your eyes on him he continued "At your age. . .you are bound to make stupid choices. You are bound to make mistakes and accidentally trigger the wrong group of people. It's how you test the boundaries of this world"

His fingers squeezed your shoulders, feeling the bandages over your skin through the shirt "But no one. And I mean no one deserved to have their home burned down." He gave you another squeeze before letting you go and instead patting your head "Not even someone as annoying as you. Got that?"

A groan slipped past your lips at the feeling of your hair being messed up and your hands flew over your head, hoping to push away the older male "Mister Blake! Don't touch my head! I had been hit with a metal rod– it still hurts like hell!" 

Your whines earned a rare smile from him, together with a flick over your forehead "Maybe that finally fixed all those loose screws in your brain" You dramatically cried out, immediately covering the spot he hit with your hands while tears built on the corner of your eyes "You are truly mean Mister Blake! Here I'm mourning my house and you are bully me!"

The ravenette rolled his eyes and crossed his arms "You will have much more to mourn once Lilli will come to know about what happened not only to your house but you yourself" He lifted then an eyebrow "Moreover, why isn’t she here yet? I would've expected her to come barelling down the street like a bull"

Still massaging your sore spot, you bit your inner cheek and deadpanned "In all honesty I haven't informed her about anything that happened and I would like to wait as much as possible before having the equivalent of an overbearing mother worrying all over me"

A tick appeared over Blake’s head and his eye twitched "You idiot!" He scolded you, swatting the back of your head once again "Go and inform your friend this instant! Face your responsibilities and her endless worry!"

"A-Ah! Yes sir!" You fumbled around, whipping out your phone and clumsily searching for Livia’s contact before finally finding it and typing out your text with an angry Blake checking your every move.

You:

*Hiiii hun! Guess what happened? Don't freak out but uhhhhhhh, my house might have had a small fire accident. Me and Miss Marilyn the third destroyer of worlds are fine though so don't lose your mind too much.

Uh. . .that's all! 

You looked at the text one more time, biting your lip before quickly adding.

You:

*Once you are free from your studies we should really go and check out that place you saw. You know, the one with the cute layout :>

And then you sighed again.

Blake walked closer, trying to sneak a peek to the texts that you sent "Aren't you gonna tell her that you also got your ass beaten?" Heat crept to your cheeks and you snapped your gaze to the older man with an embarrassed screech "I did NOT get my ass beaten! These are just battle scars worthy of a warrior, mind you! Try and get out alive from a 3 VS 1"

Blake rolled his eyes at your dramatic words but secretly felt relieved upon seeing some of your old self finally cracking that sad shell that you build all around. It was really uncanny to see you that depressed honestly.

"Either way" He shook his head "Since your house is burnt down" he pointed at the disaster in front of you two "And if you don't have any friend that can host you till all the legal procedure is over. You know you are welcomed to stay in my house"

At those words your eyes widened "Uh?"

Blake nodded his head "Yea, you can use Samuel room. He is in college anyway so it's empty. . .and that kitty there with you already made herself comfortable in my couch anyway" he sighed in frustration at the memory of Marylin sprinting to his usual spot on the comfy couch and growl at him whenever he tried to move her.

You just looked at him for a couple of seconds to process his words before a grin overcame your features.

"Thank you"

■__—コロンビーナ—__■[¹]

Seeing as you didn’t have any other choice in the matter– no relatives that can host you, Livia’s step mother would rather drink bleach than have you step a foot in her house, and no way in hell would you go and grovel at Jester’s feet for a place to stay (also because he would join Ciela and jug down at least a barrel of bleach before entertaining the idea) accepting Blake’s offer seemed to be the logical choice.

Apart from some dust, Samuel’s room hasn’t been touched since he went away to college. Despite that, your new host still took care of changing the sheets to something new and vacuumed the room before taking what clothes you managed to save and washed them for you. He didn’t want to hear any of your protests about taking them to get cleaned somewhere since he was already doing a lot for you and opted to slap a wet towel over your face whenever you even thought about that. 

You had been forced on rest duty on the couch with Marilyn napping over your chest. Everything ached, so you weren’t complaining. . .but everything also felt so out of your control and you hate that too. And so that’s how the day went by. Wasted on watching pre-recorded movies on Mister Blake’s TV. Tending to your wounds. And drinking an absurd amount of tea.

You didn’t even go to the Circus and they didn’t contact you at all. Perhaps they understood that you weren’t in the right state of mind to deal with any of their drama and instead would’ve done more damage than anything else. 

Passing the night in someone else's house– in someone else's bed room– had always been a bit uncanny for you; still. . .you have nothing but gratitude to give your neighbor for his kindness. And just like that, you fell asleep with a heavy sigh (and at a reasonable hour) for the first time in a long while.

The sun rose again and the story repeated. You spent the day alternating between resting and filing legal documents on the house insurance together with the police questioning you about the dynamic of what happened so that they could rule it an accident or a premeditated crime and act accordingly.

And even today, you didn’t go to the Circus nor you saw Ticket Taker pop up with his refined suit and demand your presence. Therefore you went to bed and slept the night away.

On the third day, since your house burned down, you officially lost it. Staying cooped inside Blake’s house all day was slowly rotting away your brain and it was just a matter of minutes before you would become one with the couch. Sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, spend an ungodly amount of hours watching movies, treat your wounds, eat dinner, drink tea and go to bed. That’s all you have done these past two days and it was driving you crazy. You need to go out and breathe fresh air.

“You sure about that? The police have yet to take in those kids for questioning and they might still be pissed that you managed to run away” Mister Blake pointed out and you just assured him that you will be careful. To that he did not argue. You were an adult perfectly capable of making their own choices after all. “Be careful”

With another wave, you finally stepped out of the house and immediately a chilly air hit your face, prompting a deep inhale from you. It was really nice to smell something different from the smoke that seemed to be attached to you no matter how many baths you took.

You decided to walk over the park, it wasn’t that far away and usually there are always some people and definitely no narrow alleyway that could be used to lure you in. Finding an empty bench you sat down, resting your legs after the 20 minutes journey you took. People passed by, some of them throwing a quick glance, attracted by the bandages over your face and eyes, some shamelessly stared and pointed at you, briefly muttering something to the person they were with. Most just ignored you.

Not that you minded, with your brain too busy recounting what happened these past days, people staring was something that you didn’t even notice.

*Ding*

*Ding*

Like you didn’t notice till the last second something or someone covering the sun and casting a long and large shadow over you. It almost could’ve been mistaken for a cloud if not for the soft chiming of bells and a sharp stare boring on top of your head, prompting you to blink and snap your attention up and landing on a pair of golden eyes. This was a stare hard to miss or ignore.

“Pierrot?” you muttered out in surprise, honestly not expecting him to be in the same park as you were and maybe used to not see him after three whole days of radio silence. Maybe it had been the shock of losing your living space but for an instance you tried to convince yourself that it had been all a sick dream and that nothing in this last month ever happened. Circus and clowns included.

Pierrot’s smile widened tenthfold, eyes slightly narrowing upwards yet not moving a single muscle and remaining slightly bent over you in muted silence. He just. . .kept looking at you. . .so intensely that it was starting to make the pit of your stomach twist in something foreign. Maybe he wasn’t aware of it. . .but he was surely being a bit creepy at the moment.

And a bit. . .too happy? Or maybe you were a bit too sad.

“My, oh my. So that’s why Pierrot rushed like a missile here. It’s because he saw his darling savior” another presence sneaked behind the bench, placing his hand over your shoulder which prompted you to turn your head back and meet an extremely uncomfortably close familiar grin. Harlequin looked you over once before sneering and leaning even closer “You look like shit” and then, as if you hadn’t been subjected to enough whiplashes, in a swift motion he jumped over the bench and made himself comfortable close to you.

We are talking side against side, as if the bench wasn't empty or wide. 

You blinked in surprise at the feeling of his. . .cold (?) body pressing against yours and threw a glance to Pierrot, expecting hell to break loose. . .only for him to still have that big ass grin on his features– which totally slapped you in the face with shock. What. . .what’s going on? This is completely new and weird at the same time. It was like none of them was following the script given.

They are acting strange.

“Look at your face. Trying to mimic a fish out of water? What happened to that grin I always loved to see on you?” Harlequin broke the tense silence, taking your chin between his claws and trying to force a smile on your lips, tugging them upward with his fingers. It took you by surprise and immediately snapped your head away, trying to create space between you and him. . .

Only to have the ebony haired man immediately chase after you with a laugh.

“My house just burnt down, how am I supposed to feel?” maybe you were being a tiny bit too sarcastic, but honestly this new development was making you feel a weird kind of dread you have never felt. Which was weird. . .these were the same old Pierrot and Harlequin that you always knew– but again. . .maybe you were still under too much shock?

“Sorry for not coming to work these days I–”

A black finger immediately shushed you, covering your lips as the green eyed performer shook his head with a tch “Ah-Ah-Ah. How silly of you to worry about something so utterly useless. That was the past and this. . .this is the present no? Why keep being attached to a time before now?” not only his way of acting, but now also his words were starting to not make sense. . .and Pierrot had yet to speak or make an action that wasn’t just staring at you.

But that. . .at least you can justify that with his rule of not being able to speak in public.

“You look sad, dear. . .”

Or maybe not?!

Why is he speaking? Well, more like whispering– but still! There is a mother behind him who is giving you the biggest stink eye and covering her son’s eyes while walking away, acting like you and the performers were doing an obscene act in a public space.

Managing to collect yourself, you shifted your eyes from the mother and back on Pierrot, feeling your mouth go dry “Well I–” but you didn’t manage to utter out more than a few words before the silver haired man also started to lean in, placing his knee on the bench and basically climbing on your lap if you didn’t try to back away– not that you could’ve. Not when you were caged in all directions.

“It’s fine, my dear. We have something that I’m sure will certainly lift your spirit, back in the Circus–ah! We were hoping to find you as soon as possible!” despite him trying to keep his voice low and whisper in your ear, the excitement and borderline ecstatic smile on his face made it difficult for him to not squeal with joy. It left you slightly disoriented.

“You. . .You seem happy, Pierrot. . .” you muttered–because how else could you react in a situation like this?

“Ohhh, you have no idea how much he is, darling” Harlequin also entered the conversation, yet somehow his tone lacked the usual mockering that made it his trademark. He was still mischievous, still sketchy as hell, still touchy if his claws on your tight meant anything–yet–! It was wrong! Something was simply wrong!

“Why won’t you come and meet her?” Harley added “I bet she will love you” and Pierrot finished. Both of them were so close that it felt like you were being bound with restraints.

“I–. . .Okay?” 

Because what else could you do in a situation like this?

.

.

 .

.

.

The Circus was empty.

Sure, during the day there were no attractions nor was it open in the first place– but there was still some sort of life wandering through the tents. Vendors busy with setting up their stalls, fools in pink walking around while holding props and materials, the performers themselves getting ready to handle out flyers, curious eyes trying to take a peek inside the circus during the day only to be chased off by Ticket Taker.

But now?

It was deserted.

“Come on, my dear. This way! This way!” Pierrot exclaimed, his black claw firmly wrapped around your hand while dragging you through the empty circus. Harlequin was closely behind you two, the grin on his face sharp yet slightly nervous too– but that might have been just your impression. Also because you were too busy trying to not stumble or lose your foot with the way that Pierrot was basically sprinting.

Thankfully, soon enough, he halted his journey which allowed you to finally catch your breath and place your free hand on your bent knee. You are pretty sure that your ribs and stomach had been bruised– the last thing you needed was to run around while being yanked.

“Here we are” the golden eyed man sighed out, squeezing your hand and turning his attention on you with a bright smile on his features “Oh my dear, there is someone that I wis–”

“We wish” Harlequin cut him off with a smirk, amused by the glare that came his way and chuckling under his breath.

“That we wish you to meet” Pierrot corrected him as his features softened once again he saw your attention on him “Someone?” your eyes shifted from his face and to what was in front of you, feeling your heart skip a beat when a familiar tent welcomed your vision. A familiar tent that Ticket Taker expressed a million times to be completely out of limit for you. A familiar bright pink tent something or someone tried to make you enter by pretending to be either Pierrot or Harlequin. Maybe it had been your mind and curiosity all along.

The rules flashed in your mind and you instantly took a step back, nervously laughing “Good try guys. This has been the best one so far but unfortunately for you I’m not this stupid yet. This is a trick right? A trick that Jester mastered in his sleep or something” you pointed at the pink tent shaking your head “I’m not allowed to enter the pink tent. This is clearly a trap”

You waited for the disappointed groans or confused glances.

What you got were instead the same smiles they had been wearing all this time and, admittedly, that made a chill run down your back for some weird motive.

“A trap? You sure have a wild imagination, darling” Harley chuckled, stepping closer to the entrance of the pink tent and taking one of the flaps before slowly lifting it up with a mock bow “After you” despite the opening allowing the sun inside, everything was pitch black. It was impossible to catch anything beyond, like some sort of void ready to swallow you whole. It made you nervous and suspicious.

Are we sure that Ticket Taker isn’t hidden somewhere and ready to jump out as soon as you step inside?

Those thoughts, however, were cut off when a black arm appeared from deep within the void, opening its clawed hand toward you like an invitation to take it, a golden diamond stood printed on the back of the hand with a line running down all over the arm and disappearing in the darkness. [²] Then the rest of the body emerged, revealing Jester with his usual crude smile “I see you dears went and brought out our little worker” he mused with a chuckle.

Pierrot quickly nodded his head, vibrating with excitement and placing his hands over your shoulders while Harlequin just scoffed but it didn’t seem to bother the ring master– now that you think about it. He looks to be in an awfully good mood. Yet another thing completely different from what you were used “I presume it's for her, isn’t it?” Jester went on, earning another excited nod from the silver haired man and placed his finger beneath his chin, deep in thought.

“I guess it would be rude of us to not let them meet. . .she sounded so eager too. I understand” he chuckled and placed both arms behind his back before tilting his head “Shall we go inside, little monster?”

You barely managed to keep your shivers at bay “No”

“No?” Jester repeated.

“Nha-ah. This must be a trap. You guys made a huge deal about this tent and now you want me to go inside it, out of nowhere? I promised Ticket Taker to stay out of it” dramatically shaking your head, you crossed your arms in an X. A beat of silence passed then–

Jester laughed. He laughed so hard that you genuinely had to do a double take to make sure this was the same man, the same ringmaster, the same circus, the same UNIVERSE, because you haven’t just heard him laughing in such hearty way and not mockingly “My, you had always been such a curious little human, haven’t you. Well, that’s it true that the pink tent wasn’t allowed to anyone that wasn’t a circus worker. . .I guess this will be the perfect occasion to officially welcome you, right?

Jester offered you his hand, purple eyes shining bright “Let’s go inside” he urged and you. . .

You accepted.

Because what else could you do in a situation like this?

The inside of the pink tent wasn’t anything like the rest of the tents. It was empty. . .devoid of anything. . .and especially it smelled like disinfectant, like it had been just recently cleaned and in a way you do when you want to make it look as good as new. One singular light stood on the ceiling, illuminating the center of it, where Ticket Taker and Doctor stood. . .together with a new figure you have never seen. They had their back at you, yet you could still grasp that they must have been yet another performer, from the way their outfit was stylized.

Initially you thought you were looking at a rather tall fool, with their black and pink color palette, yet that thought was swept away when you noticed that the outfit was totally different. A single pink hat over their head with one liripipe and a white bow tied at the end of it. They wore a puff skirt and thigh-high sock, one pink and the other black, their own shoes with heels the opposite colors of the stockings. 

Hearing the additional steps, they turned around and your eyes widened when they made contact with a pair of beautiful pink ones. They too wore a white mask with wings painted on their cheeks. Was. . .Was this a girl? A girl?! It was starting to get weird when all the performers were males though.

But you were right. This was another performer you knew nothing about.

You two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the world started closing in, Pierrot and the others seemed to disappear, the tent, the circus too, till all that was left was you and this new girl with long black hair, tied in two front ponytails.Where have you seen her before? You swear those eyes are familiar.

Then she sniffled, followed by fat tears forming in the corner of her eyes and immediately making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and concern. Was she. . .Was she crying right now?!

Next thing you knew, something collided hard against you, a pair of arms circling around your waist and something rubbing your cheek “You are. . .SO CUTE!” the girl sobbed while hugging you close to her and rubbing her cheek over your head. She was strong– abnormally strong and tall–holy shit she could easily lift you and take you wherever she wanted without seating a bullet. But that wasn’t important.

What was important was that you were currently being mushed by her. 

“Waaah! Look at you! Look at your adorable cheeks! Look at your adorable eyes! Look at your adorable outfit! Look at your adorable bandages! You are cute as a doll!”

Your bandages were NOT cute.

She kept crying and hugging the ever living out of you while the rest of the performers did nothing to stop her despite you begging them with your eyes–on the contrary! Pierrot’s lips trembled and his eyes got all shiny, before he also started crying and joined the group hug, his long arms able to wrap not only around you but also around the ebony haired girl.

Great, now you were crushed in the middle of a cute girl and a cute boy. What a dream.

“Aww, how about you let me join this cute little performance” Harlequin chuckled, already getting closer with a mischievous grin. If it wasn’t for Pierrot throwing him a glare and waving a knife on his way to keep him from coming anymore near. All it got were more chuckles “Be careful with our little one, you are crushing them with your love”

Ticket Taker dipped his hat down a little, deadpanning at the situation “I’m surprise you are so well receiving of such amount of physical contact” to which you barely managed to choke out a muffled “I’m pretty sure I had been desensitized by Livia in all these years” seeing your pretty much dire situation, the gentleman shot a glance to Harlequin and Doctor who immediately understood, the first with a eat-shitting grin grabbed Pierrot while the latter gently took hold of the girl’s waist, and both of them finally managed to have the duo let go.

Well, Harlequin risked a knife or two on the shoulder when he dragged Pierrot away, but Doctor was gentle enough and simply guided her away.

Jester took a step forward “Angel, please, be mindful of weaker things will you? You almost crushed them to death” he chuckled, placing a hand over her back before turning his attention to you (who was silently crying from the pain of your wounds) “____, I would like for you to meet our sixth member of the circus. Columbina”

The girl– Columbina smiled, giving you a wave. You hesitantly waved back.

“And Columbina, this right here is. . .oh well, how can I say it? A temporary worker who is diligently repaying for their mistakes”

Charming. . .as always, Jester. . .

A hand landed on your shoulder and you snapped your gaze back, meeting a pair of hetero chromatic eyes “We are sorry it took us so long to present you Columbina. . .unfortunately she. . .she had been severely ill these past months. A weak immune system I’m afraid. We all had been very worried for her, especially when she looked so. . .dead” he shook his head sadly and all you could do was simply nodding at his words “Oh yea. . .that must have been really scary. . .was that way no one was allowed inside her tent I presume”

Bil’s smile stretched further “Exactly, dear guest.”

“You could’ve just told me that instead of being all mysterious and hushy, hush” you argued back, pressing your lips together.

That got a weird flash to go through those white and blue eyes “I know”

Doctor finally joined the conversation, clearing his throat “However, thanks to modern medicine and a bit of magic, Columbina recovery seems to be going perfectly. However we still have to keep it monitored for the time being, understood little angel?” and Columbina gave him a small smile and nod.

“That’s. . .good to hear” you muttered out, allowing a small smile to grace your lips. Looking down at your hand, the gear in your brain turned slightly before you finally looked back at the woman and offered your hand as greeting “It’s really nice to finally meet you, Columbina”

Because what else could you do in a situation like this? [³]

{~♠︎♥︎◆♣︎~}

[¹] コロンビーナ= Columbina in Katakana (Japanese) [²] It's a call back to the chapter 'First day as a slav–worker!' when MC got lured to the pink tent and a clawed arm appeared for them to take and walk inside. Before Ticket Taker stopped them. [³] The repetition of the same phrase stand to symbolize MC starting to lack control over their life.

I’m sure mc is so shocked becayse what do you mean you are coming after me?! You hated me!!!

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

MC was counting–HOPING that Jester would've gone like: "Thank god you want to finally go away from the Circus, now shoo–! I don’t want to see you ever again"

For once that MC was happy that Jester was a dick—!

. . .

He revealed himself to be even a bigger dick than he is. After all we have to remember something, that bastard is a raging sadistic and his hatred for humans will push him to do anything to see them in despair and if that's bringing back MC to their cage against their will so be it.

And totally not because he developed a double standard of wanting MC near him since of course they can't do anything alone. I mean, look at that– they get hurt so easily without following his orders.

Thank god that Jester is a kind monster and he guesses that he will have to simply take care of you– like a person that never wanted a pet but his family brought one anyway and he ended up getting attached to it more than he want to admit.

. . .

“He’s my best friend!”

“They are interesting”

I low-key love their dynamic and how doctor calls us sweetie I giggle every time

He’s definitely my second favorite!!!!

Would he calls us any other endearing nicknames and why did he choose sweetie specifically

Not my Circus! Extra content + answered questions.

Writing about MC and Doctor (before all hell broke loose) had been my favorite thing so far– that man deserves so much more love and recognition I swear IT'S JUST TOO FUN WRITING HIS INTERACTIONS WITH MC.

Another dynamic of the two that's my fav is definitely the fact that sometimes Doc just enter in a room and pick up MC by the back of their shirt like a cat and just carry them wherever he wants– he is just so chilllll.

Definitely the most normal of the bunch– he is not the perfect green flag (as he still performed experiments on MC) BUUUUTTTTT he is just a silly guy, come on.