they reminisce over you

she nodded, “okay, tomorrow morning. i’m holding you to that. i’ll even … wake up before noon to make sure that you actually go through with it,” she said. and be there with him, in case he needed the moral support. make sure that he still knew he was doing the right thing. “i mean you’ll have to buy me coffee, and i might fall asleep in the middle of it, but i would come with you if you… need me to. or … want me to.”

jess wasn’t sure she believed in god, but … something brought luke into her life over and over again. all at different points, all for different purposes. here they were again. friends. team mates. maybe … she glanced over at their hands, and up at his face that wide smile. maybe something more. maybe this is where they were supposed to be. here together. even when they first met jess knew how she felt for luke was more than she felt for any other friend with benefits. she hadn’t been in the right head space (or life space) for anything more than they shared, but that’s changed now.

her dark eyes closed as his lips brushed her temple, a smile pulling at her lips, “oh, you’re sure you’re in my circle huh? that’s some confidence,” she teased. he was of course, he had been before any of the other defenders. jess untangled their fingers, lifting her hands to cup his face before she leaned in close to him, “i’ll always be in your circle, luke,” she murmured, closing the distance to press her lips against his.

“well, you just being there counts for something. makes me feel better. if it means anything, sure. we can get coffee - not just coffee, the good stuff. i’ve got a french press at home.” 

he’s positively grinning, almost ear to ear, and he ought to feel a little sheepish about it, being so goddamn corny. it’s been a long time since anything in his life’s felt like it’s exactly as it should be. he’d had reva, but not without the paranoia of being found out. then he lost her, then pop, then willis. then claire, then harlem. one after another. he couldn’t relax. couldn’t even breathe right, bulletproof skin or not. but now he can exhale, or start to, with jessica here. that’s enough. 

 the hands on luke’s face make that smile go softer as he leans his forehead against hers and kisses her in return, hand reaching up to hold her by her waist to pull her close. the kiss is chaste but it makes his head spin, more feeling than what they’d shared in the past despite the moment being so minuscule, but still so intimate. he presses his forehead against hers when he has to pull away for air, hand reaching for one of hers to trace circles over scarred knuckles.  

“i’m not a big fan of people anyways, i’ve got my circle right where i like it,” she said. more than two now. not so big she felt … like there were too many people taking too much from her. she looked up at him, dark brown eyes on his face. this right here, she could give this, she could be there to support him. nothing about being with luke ever felt like he was taking from her. supporting each other… especially now … it came so easily.

“it’s hard to be a sheriff and a hero.  seems like you can do one or the other. and at least when you’re a hero the shots are all yours to call.” she pointed out. her hand squeezed his. there was something satisfying to feel the skin and muscle shift under the gentle touch. or … gentle for him. for anyone else she would have broken bones. “we’ll come up with a plan of attack. what is the first thing we need to do to start shutting the club down?” she asked.

they could set up a plan of attack. what were the first steps. how could they go about achieving them?

a smile pulled at her lips as she nudged him back. there was something relaxing about not having to worry about hurting him.

“i just told you stuff you already know, luke. besides, you just … you deserve more than this.”

“ i’ve gotta file dissolution documents,  my lawyer told me.  i’ve been putting it off ---- pain in my ass, paperwork.  but i can start that tomorrow morning.  i wanna bulldoze it to the ground ---- don’t want anyone else to have it and all that,  so i’ll have to sort that out after.  the dissolution papers are important, though. ”

it’s all he can think about.  moving on from this,  the club,  with jessica’s help.  all he’s been able to think about these last few weeks is jessica herself,  too,  which doesn’t surprise him as much as it feels like they’re picking off where they left off but with the two of them faring much better than they left each other.  her grip’s firm and reassuring in a way no one else’s can be for him,  and he smiles a little wider at her.

her fingers laced with his, holding his hand in hers. she’s hardly been … celibate since they parted ways. but there’s something about holding hands that almost feels more intimate than what they used to do. there’s a simple sort of tenderness to it. the kind that makes jess’ heart feel like it’s sticking in her throat. she felt more vulnerable sitting there, fingers laced with his, than she would have naked in bed.

“yeah, yeah, i do. but i also push a lot of people out of my life. like… maybe it’ll be better like that. no one can get hurt because of me. no one can let me down,” she could be remarkably introspective when some of those problems were in the rearview mirror. “i’m just lucky there were one or two people who wouldn’t give up on me, you’ve got at least double that number,” she teased, a soft smile on her lips. “if things are hard to handle on your own, i know it’s kinda terrifying, but the solution is letting people in to help.” she couldn’t have taken killgrave without trish. she couldn’t have gotten out of too many jams without hogarth. they wouldn’t have beaten the hand without the four of them together. maybe people just weren’t meant to be alone.

“you don’t have to hold on to it. the club. the other stuff. luke… you choose to be a hero, right?” she turned to face him, her eyes on his face. “like of all the other shit you could be doing, this is your choice. hero of harlem. so do it the way you want to. if this way, holding onto the club, standing more in the shadow than the light isn’t the way for you. let it go. i’m sure between… me, you, matt, misty and danny, colleen — we can come up with something together, keep harlem from becoming a war zone. you’ve got us, and you don’t have to hold on to the shit that’s weighing you down luke. don’t drown because mariah fucking dillard told you the only way to keep harlem safe was through the club.”

luke’s stubborn.  his stubbornness had been why he’d refused to give up the club to this day,  why he’d allowed himself to become a middleman to maintain whatever parlay harlem could have these days.  but enough is enough.  jessica’s hand and voice sobers him a little,  knowing another person bears the brunt of obligation that he does because of the powers he’s been blessed or cursed with ---- depending on the prerogative.  

“ quality’s better than quantity, ” luke smiles gently,  but it’s a reminder.  jessica’s got him,  the defenders.  her other friends,  small as her circle may be.  they matter.  but she’s past that,  being reminded she’s not alone and goaded into team work,  it seems.  he needs the encouragement more than she does.  his thumb strokes over her knuckles and he feels tired,  looking down at her beside him.  “ but you don’t gotta hear me say it.  you’re right.  about all of it.  i should shut the club down,  give it up.  i haven’t wanted to be a sheriff since i stopped being one in savannah. ”

it’ll be easier said than done,  but luke has it in his mind and it’s palpable,  at least,  not a pipe dream,  with the others there to support him. 

he doesn’t think of that,  now,  simply sighing and smiling at her,  bumping shoulders with hers.

“it’s relaxing. you ever watch it? it’s absolutely charming, really recommend it for unwinding after a long night,” she said, a grin on her cheeks even as a blush rushed to her face. jessica laughed, “the leather coat, the doc martins, and the whiskey really do all the work for me. i coast on those three things and everyone just assumes i’m a real bad ass,” she said. which was … mostly true. the blush on her cheeks deepened as she glanced down at her coffee, before shrugging. “feels … good, i guess. way better than watching people cheat on their wives anyways,” she said, before taking another sip of her coffee. 

it seems that while … she’s fighting more and more on the side of angels, that luke’s life is getting mired down in shades of grey he’s less than comfortable with. a frown pulls at her lips. 

“you are only half an hour away on the subway, i probably can come and visit,” she said, warm smile pulling at her lips. “plus i hear you guys get good music acts, so really i’d be kinda a fool not to take you up on that.” 

she didn’t need or want to be a hero. she just … couldn’t say no to helping others. there was probably something there, a childhood spent hearing she had a duty to help others set her here. unable to look someone in the face who needed help and say no. “well, i’m obviously not getting rid of the leather jacket,” she said, a smile on her lips. it was her turn to laugh this time. a loud, bright, happy thing. “well it’s in there now, i don’t know how i’m ever going to be able to get it back out again,” she joked. “i’m in luke. for getting the gang back together. for … visiting you at the club. for more … meet ups. for you, anything you need.” unlike a few years ago she was emotionally available now. in a place she really could help others. 

“ i’ll put it on my DVR list.  i need all the unwinding i can get these days ----- the guided meditations that bobby sends me aren’t doing the trick, ”  luke says dryly, adding,  “ but, the leather jacket does it for me.   and the ripped jeans, when you do wear them. add another level and all that.  good thing i know about the woman underneath.  maybe she’s not bulletproof,  but she doesn’t have to be. ”  he flashes a grin about it.  he hasn’t spoken to anyone this long in months.  months.  it feels good,  organic,  especially if it makes jessica smile.  “ i used to be a cop,  back in the day.  a sheriff, actually.  i wouldn’t do it now,  now that i know better.  i would never go back but ---- besides the bureaucratic bullshit,  besides the politics and besides everything else ---- i loved helping people.  getting paid for it,  that’s another thing. ” 

luke taps his fingers against the compostable cup and ---- smiles,  wider,  at the thought of them back together.  if it’s not enough to make the club stink less of blood,  then so be it.  but it’s worth it.  worth doing something good for harlem,  restore the barrier that mariah had destroyed in her absence.  

   it feels like a running joke at this point.  luke gets an obscene amount of food,  danny gets an even more obscene amount of food,  and luke spends a good couple of minutes gawking at him before making some kind of quip about it.  he’d never anticipated that danny rand could get the munchies worse than a stoned hippie at a music festival ever could, but he’s baring witness to it once more first-hand ---- not munchies,  but restoring his chi.

really,  luke thinks calling them the munchies suits him better.

they chose an IHOP this time.  bottomless pancakes at three in the morning suits luke just fine,  especially after a long night of work with danny at his side ---- working with others at his side,  besides misty who spends most of her nights at the precinct or on the field for it ---- is still a foreign concept.  foreign,  but not unwelcome.  

he clears his throat,  though,  when danny orders a third plate of pancakes.