.happysadness.

This is my final step, this is my limbo.

When I'll die, go find me in a place like this, under a gray sky, trapped by concrete walls, in a silence made of snow and smog. No words, no people, no chaos, no sunlight, just a slow and quiet peace.

Black smoke from the industrial chimneys. My footsteps on the snow. Old soviet tunes behind the frosty windows. A broken tv chatting on the kitchen table. A small cat purring to me on the cold steps.

“So since the Troll Call has released a veritable buffet of new trolls to observe, I, TR from fantroll-purgatory, have decided to revamp our old guide to Alternian troll fashion. I’ll also be taking into account new information presented in the Extended Zodiac and will be treating those 288 signs as the known canon ones from here on out.

Up top, if you read through this guide and feel I’ve missed something critical, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

We will start with general conclusions about Alternian fashion (bearing in mind, of course, that we still have a relatively small sample size from which to draw conclusions) and then do a quick breakdown by caste. Let’s go!

General conclusions

It looks like all trolls of the same caste have the same blood color, so you would use our alpha trolls as a color guide precisely. This means that your cuspblood fantrolls would be classed as mutants and would be treated as such.

Contrary to our prior assumptions, it seems that it is not mandatory for trolls to display their symbol in the center of a black shirt. Given that over half of the existing trolls do so, we can conclude that this is common. Furthermore, we only see two characters who display their symbol on their leg rather than their shirt or jacket, so such a thing is uncommon. There is only one troll who displays their sign on a pin that they have attached to their jacket, so that is creative but allowed.

Shirts may deviate from black, but if they do then they are typically white, grey, or blood-colored.

You don’t see trolls using a lot of color outside of their blood caste until you hit jadeblood or higher (and even then it starts with subtle accents). A notable exception is goldbloods, who use the colors of their vision two-fold as liberally as they would their blood color.

If trolls are using an accent that is neither their blood color nor the blood color of another troll, it is mostly in shades of red or pink that are different from rust and fuchsia.

Some trolls wear skirts, and some wear long shirts, but few trolls wear dresses.

Female trolls whose eyes we can see mostly have eyelash definition while male trolls largely do not.

Some of female trolls wear makeup in black or their blood color (and one of them wears undereye makeup in their blood color). Only one male troll wears makeup, so we can ascertain that Alternian gender norms fall roughly in line with Earth ones.

All trolls who have visible eyes have bags under them.

We see a few trolls with their hair in ponytails and buns! It is uncommon, but possible. Female trolls are also just as likely to have short hair instead of long hair, and male trolls seem to largely stick to short hair with just a few exceptions.

Only 3 trolls have color in their hair, and no trolls below jadeblood color their hair. Hair color is very uncommon.

Horns tend to be the same length unless broken (though goldbloods’ second set can be shorter than the first).

Horn decorations are not common, with only two characters who have respectively pierced and painted theirs.

We’ll move on to the specifics below the cut so as not to clog up your dashboard!

List of inventors killed by their own inventions

List of scandals with the -gate suffix

List of noodles

List of hoaxes

List of pirates

Response to sneezing - that is, what you say after someone sneezes

List of places in the U.S. named after places elsewhere

List of songs about bicycles

List of American advertising characters (e.g. the geico gecko. There is also an article for breakfast cereal mascots specifically.)

List of unusual deaths

List of superlative trees - its TREE APPRECIATION TIME

Recursive islands and lakes

List of Crayola crayon colors

List of individual birds. There is SO much going on here.

List of deep-fried foods (aaaaaaa)

List of words that are their own antonyms

List of genres (of...everything)

List of onomatopoeias - READ THIS PLEASE

List of Noah’s Ark replicas

List of people who have been pied

List of voids - This is meant in the astronomy sense but I think the name is funny.

List of animal sounds

List of cryptids

List of prison escapes

List of discredited substances - there’s a LOT going on here

List of methods of capital punishment

List of wartime cross-dressers

List of extinct dog breeds. this topic contains some of my favorite obscure facts

List of songs considered to be the worst - there is also an article about the worst books and one about the worst movies, if you’re interested

List of facial hair styles

List of clowns

List of sexually active popes - I just think it’s funny that this is an article

List of reportedly haunted locations

List of animals with fraudulent diplomas

List of people who died on the toilet

List of English language metaphors

List of stories set in a future now past

List of unexplained sounds from @hostilehospitalbeds

List of helicopter prison escapes from @unicorn-elvis

List of gairaigo and wasei-eigo terms (Japanese loanwords from western languages) from @passumbapper

List of common misconceptions from @passumbapper

List of heavy metal genres from @time-and-water

Lists of renamed places for the confused time travelers and/or immortal beings here

List of extremes on Earth

List of disasters by cost

Lists of men. It's funny as a concept but the further you scroll the more mundane it gets. It does start off strong though.

List of catgirls. Yes, really.

List of nicknames used by Donald Trump

List of most expensive domain names

List of frivolous political parties

List of alternate history fiction

List of Capitoline Wolf statues

List of words that may be spelled with a ligature (æ or œ)

List of mythological objects (AMAZING)

List of English words without rhymes

Stocking up on strawberry Mentos

So when you kiss me it'll taste like them