Hiiiii, so I'm not officially back yet. Still want to take a few more days off tumblr, but I did want to post Renee in Paralives, so here she is!
For the second version, I gave myself a little bit of creative freedom with her outfit.
Tamma, Qiu, and my munchkin have also gotten some slight tweaks as well.
You know when you're trying to recreate a character and hope you captured them well? I really hope I did with Renee. She might get more tweaks later on, but I'm really happy with her for now! On to Serenity next!
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Fourteen-year-old Shan Fang is in her most emotionally intense period.
When she first arrived in Golden Grove at age ten, the entirely unfamiliar foreign surroundings filled her with deep panic. Initially, she kept a noticeable distance from Qiu Lin and Tamarack, even harbouring faint resistance toward them. Still, the pair’s warm, outgoing personalities gradually coaxed Shan Fang out of her shell. She grew closer to Qiu Lin first partly out of rational calculation: Qiu Lin shares similar East Asian features, carries the easy poise of someone raised locally, and naturally commands central attention among peers. Shan Fang once believed devoting extra attention to them would bring her more benefits. This motive faded long afterwards, however.
By fourteen, Shan Fang has grown mild-mannered and well-spoken. She always knows how to treat others with thoughtful propriety, making every conversation partner feel comfortable. Though not as eye-catching as Qiu Lin, her calm and gentle aura draws plenty of people eager to open up to her. Aside from her two neighbours, barely anyone notices how much deliberate scheming lies beneath her considerate demeanour.
Shan Fang’s personality stems from her family background. Born via special conception methods, a circumstance extremely rare within China, she has constantly felt alienated from those around her. She cannot empathise with the trivial affection shared between two-parent households and their children, nor comprehend the distinctive, profound and intricate kinship ties of Asian families.
Frequent job transfers of her mother meant Shan Fang never stayed within the same social circle or resided in one house for more than a year before turning ten. This nomadic lifestyle robbed her of the ability to build a sense of belonging toward any place or possession, leaving her unable to trust anyone besides her mother.
She yearns for company and detests loneliness, yet fears the collapse of intimate bonds. Every relationship and stable status quo feels like walking a tightrope; one tiny misstep could trigger total ruin. This persistent pressure hangs over adolescent Shan Fang like a suspended sharp blade. To avoid abandonment, preserve her public persona and earn acceptance, she is willing to mould herself into whatever another person desires.
During Step 2, Shan Fang seems flawless. She achieves outstanding academic results, treats everyone amiably, and maintains unnervingly stable emotions. Only she knows that beneath the defensive shell which shields her while shutting others out resides overwhelming, suffocating adoration for the people she holds dear. Deprived of a solid sense of self, Shan Fang can no longer tell her genuine likes and dislikes. Her replies shift to cater to whoever poses the question, or she simply mimics Qiu Lin and Tamarack.
Even after six years of living in Golden Grove, once her mother confirmed there would be no more relocation, jagged fragments of anxiety still weigh heavy on Shan Fang’s mind. She dares not let her guard down, for her current peaceful life feels too precious. She cannot bear to suffer abandonment ever again, and has internalised a belief: the only way to avoid being discarded is to become irreplaceable to others. Hence she remains perpetually on edge, meticulously maintaining all stability around her.
She values her two best friends above her own life. Phrases such as “I cannot live without you” are not dramatic idle outbursts. Tamarack is her kindred sister. Both relocated from afar, grew up amid unstable family conditions and are of the same age. The moment Shan Fang met Tamarack, she resolved to make them her dearest best friend. Her feelings for Qiu Lin fall into a completely different category. What she labelled as “love at first sight” and “utter infatuation” was essentially her search for a vessel to pour romantic longing into; the individual mattered less than having someone to fixate on. She projected all of her understandings of romance onto Qiu Lin, vowing that they would forever be the secret crush who makes her heart flutter.
From their first encounter, Shan Fang labelled the two neighbours privately in her mind. She upholds these relationships rigidly following social norms with extreme precision and restraint, much like the formulaic polished answers she gives when asked about personal preferences. Only she can judge the authenticity and true nature of her deep affection.
Shan Fang cannot fully define what exactly she feels for Qiu Lin. Every time she watches them surrounded by crowds of admirers, rage threatens to consume her. This scenario repeats daily across six years. As she matures, she no longer displays her temper outwardly, and raw irritation curdles into dark possessiveness. To secure legitimate reasons to stay by Qiu Lin’s side, Shan Fang picked up numerous hobbies she holds little personal interest in but knows they love, including ballet.
Beneath this seemingly innocent companionship, the fourteen-year-old Shan Fang commits many underhanded deeds. She feigns minor ailments regularly to gain Qiu Lin’s sympathy, takes charge of nearly every trivial errand in their daily life, and tells countless gentle lies to sustain her docile, reliant image. She memorises nearly all of their preferences, routines and habits with near-obsessive attention. She has even mapped out an imaginary route climbing along exterior walls to sneak to their bedroom window (an idea she will never put into practice). If Qiu Lin ever uncovers her hidden schemes, Shan Fang would only smile softly and explain: I do all this simply because I care about you so deeply.
If a faint hazy veil always lingers between Shan Fang and Qiu Lin, slowly seeping into both of their lives, her bond with Tamarack is built on heartfelt mutual understanding. There is no romantic tension between them, only warm moments reminiscent of a heated oven and crisp autumn wind carrying bread fragrance — these are Shan Fang’s most relaxed, blissful hours.
Due to their similar life trajectories, the pair can voice their true inner thoughts candidly and perceive each other’s insecurities without lengthy explanations. Even within this most relaxed friendship, Shan Fang instinctively shapes her personality to match Tamarack’s ideal version of her, though putting on this facade requires almost no effort. This is why years later, when drafting her Ego Project, she lists the version of herself that stays alongside Tamarack as one viable persona.
Though this friendship appears healthy on the surface, it relies on Tamarack having few other close acquaintances. Should Vianca or anyone else constantly make plans to take Tamarack away, Shan Fang will reveal a frightening side.
Fights between her two best friends rank among the rare situations that leave Shan Fang helpless. She cannot afford to lose either one; the departure of either would shatter the fragile mental balance she has built. She bends over backwards to satisfy both parties’ demands and carefully keeps the peace between them. If forced to pick one side, she records every single choice and alternates picks evenly to treat both fairly.
I really want to update a few character details (design, personality wise) regarding the Solanos, but I didn't want to completely scrap them and start over. I settled with just changing a couple of things, and I made a list :D
For Metztli/"Nene":
I gave her more beauty marks on her face. I have a lot of beauty marks on my own face, so Metztli gets more to match >:D
In Step 1, regarding her outfits, I added a couple more details. For her upper half, I adjusted her undershirt to be a turtleneck. The little piece of fabric attached to her overshirt has lace now. Her jeans have stars sewn into the fabric. She's wearing gloves now. With her turtleneck and glove, I'm hoping to better express her need to cover up due to falling ill very easily. She needs to be kept warm!
Her Step 2 design got a bit of a change. I made her little cardigan/sweater a long sleeve and made it cover her shoulders more. Her shirt is a little longer. I gave her side swept bangs rather than blunt ones. Her socks are longer, and I changed her shoes to long boots. Overall, I tried to cover Nene up a little more since she's quite insecure of her body during this step.
In Step 3, Metztli's only change is her hair. I made it more wavy since I think it looked better than her straight hair. Also, I wanted to add in that Nene straightens her hair in Step 2 to fit in with her peers. Of course, in Step 3, she stops doing it, so her hair is wavy again.
Step 4 Metztli has no changes!
Personality wise, I'd say there's not a lot of change considering I don't really talk about Metztli's personality very often, especially when it comes to Step 1. So here's what I've got:
In Step 1, Nene is doting and considered to be overprotective of Agustín, especially since he's smaller than her (physically). She's also quite outspoken during this step, which is a contributing factor to the bullying she faces in both Step 1 and 2. She calls out bad behavior when she sees it and doesn't let people get away with anything. She's a real teacher's pet. It's due to the values that Xihuitl and Noel have shown as she's grown up, which means people perceive her as "no fun".
Unfortunately, that means during Step 2, people still view her as a teacher's pet and are hesitant to be seen around her. To the people she does become "friends" with, she's basically their punching bag, figuratively. They always want homework answers, her to get them access to classrooms during lunch break, and to get them out of trouble.
As for Agustín:
In Step 1, he gets a bit of a design change. His hair is a bit longer, just above shoulder length. He should appear more frail, especially with the oversized clothes he's wearing. His shirt is tucked in, and his undershirt is more of a turtleneck, like Metztli. He's wearing tights, leg warmers, and a cardigan. Similarly to Metztli, I wanted his outfit to reflect how easily he can get sick. He has to wear more layers to keep himself warm.
Step 2 Agustín has no change, design wise!
Step 3 Agustín has a bit of a hair shift. I removed his little braid and instead gave him more face framing pieces. That's basically it :)
Step 4 Agustín has no change, design wise!
The two face changes for Agustín are his nose and eye shape. His nose is no longer curved, and it's more similar to Metztli's nose shape. As for his eyes, I gave him more of an almond shape. I've never mentioned this before (completely my bad), but Agustín is biracial. His birth mother was Nahua while his birth father was Chinese. Based off of my cousin, who's Chinese and Nahua! :D So that's why I gave him almond shaped eyes and a straight nose bridge. He gets his eyes from his birth father and his nose from his birth mother :) (And, if anyone's curious, Metztli is Nahua!)
Side tangent: This part of his identity does affect him as he grows up because he never truly feels connected to his Chinese roots, only really his Nahua ones because both Metztli and Xihuitl are Nahua as well. Xihuitl does try his best to keep him connected to those roots, but Agustín really doesn't feel that connection.
Little side note: I will, eventually, get to Agustín's background since I already mentioned Metztli, so you guys aren't left in the dark for too long regarding that :D But, spoiler (I suppose), Agustín's birth parents do reconnect with him when he moves back to Mexico!
Anyways, personality wise, I'd say Agustín pretty much stays the same. In Step 1, he's very quiet and a big scaredy cat. He's practically attached to Nene and Xihuitl during this step, and it's very hard to separate them. Step 1 Agustín is still selectively mute outside of his home. He doesn't speak and uses gestures to communicate outside. It stems from his anxiety of being in a new environment and needing to speak a new language.
Even in Step 2, Agustín's selectively mute, which does mean he no longer does choir. That's a change. While Xihuitl does his best to support him throughout his time in Golden Grove, Agustín still struggles with speaking to non family members in Step 1-2. A lot of people misinterpret his lack of speech to either be some cool persona he's trying to exude or him being rude.
That should be all the details I made changes to, but if I remember something, I'll be sure to bring it up in a different post :)
Since I did make multiple changes, I'll probably re-do intro cards. I kinda wanted to change them anyways, especially with the changes in my art style. I'm not sure if I'll just re-do them, and then, change them on their original posts. Or if I'll just post them again with the new art. I'm not sure yet 😔 BUT I do want to do my Metztli confession post first before I do any of that :D (maybe I can finish it today, but no promises :0)
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In Step 1, Nene really wanted to marry someone just to get to wear a pretty dress. She hadn't really thought of WHY people get married. She really just wanted a big dress because she wanted to feel like a princess
In Step 2, Nene thought about marriage less. She didn't really think she'd ever marry someone. She didn't know if people even liked her. Would anyone love her enough to spend the rest of their life with her?
Step 3 Metztli never thought about marriage because she was more focused on herself and how she was changing during this step. She didn't think she was ready for marriage if she was still figuring herself out.
As for Step 4, Metztli truly began to wonder how she'd look in a proper wedding dress and who she wanted to tie her life to. Of course, she doesn't know who yet, but she thinks she's smart enough to spot a good match.
I actually just wanted to test a new eye style and see Metztli in a pretty dress 😔 But, at least, I snuck in some talk :D
Hi! I'm back again with a request >< For the second request, can I have hanny attacking Nene back with kisses and/or hanny gives agustín's hand a kiss in step 2? :D
My biggest apologies to Agustín because the Hanny x Nene agenda calls to me. The propaganda... I must spread it 😔
(I will make their ship name soon! These two precious babies deserve one 🥹)
For the kissing request. Astoria kissing Agustin on the cheek after Tori gave him his birthday card in step 4! And Astoria and Metztli doing eskimo kisses in any step!
The Solanos love Tori very much :D (Metztli is plotting how to kiss all of her freckles...)
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Hanny and Nene are so very precious to me, and I hope they stay together forever in their universe 😔 Anyways, Nene gets cuteness aggression from Hanny, so yes, she gives Hanny more kisses than might've been expected ！Σ(￣□￣;)
Ryuuji and Agustin kiss, absolutely. Step 3 or 4 works
And if you'll take it. Step 2 Makade and Nene cheek kiss? ＼(_ _)
The kiss requests are actually an excuse for me to learn how to draw kisses... One day, I'll actually do Agustín and Ryuuji kissing justice 😔 but hopefully, my messy squiggles are done well enough for now (*´-`)
Here's Agustín's full body line up :D Compared to Metztli, Agustín actual goes through less of a wardrobe change, especially during the first three steps :0
A quick sketch line up of Metztli and her full designs for each step :) I tried using a watercolor brush for coloring to do some testing, so the colors might look less vibrant as a result ( -∀-)
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¡Feliz cumpleaños, Agustín! 😆 I know this is late and you don't have to answer if you don't want to! His step 4 design is absolutely ethereal! :D and you mentioned that he enjoys playing beach volleyball in the morning or late afternoon.. Hanny will definitely join him! For the questions:
1. This is a question for both siblings, but both Solanos come back to their hometown at the end of step 3 right? What's the reason behind the move? Is there any chance they're going to visit GG again?
2. Are there any hidden details behind his step 4 design? :D
For your first question:
You are right! The Solanos return home, at the end of step 3. While both of the siblings would claim that move was because of the people in Golden Grove, there's more to it than that. I'll start with Metztli's reasoning.
Metztli wants to get away from the town that caused her so much stress during her stay. Obviously, there was the bullying and the abandonment of her identity. She doesn't exactly hold a grudge against her bullies or former friends, but she's never gotten a proper apology from anyone except from Agustín. Not from her bullies, complacent peers, or even any adults involved in the whole situation. All they really do is give her looks of pity whenever she happens to pass. It really frustrates her, and she wants to get away from it.
As for Agustín, Golden Grove would never be home for him. He could decorate his house with all of his favorite things, try to make friends, find things he enjoyed, but it never changed the fact that his home was in Mexico. He understands WHY his father took them to Golden Grove. Their dad thought a new start might allow them to discover parts of themselves they hadn't known before. That didn't work for Agustín. In Step 1, he tries to follow his dad's advice of trying new things, but he finds nothing that sparks his interest. He gets bored of Golden Grove by the beginning of Step 2.
Now, regarding whether the siblings would visit, Metztli would, but you couldn't pay Agustín to. Metztli would mostly just come back to see old friends and check in with them. That's mostly it. Agustín has nothing tying him back to Golden Grove, so he wouldn't. But he would tag along, if Metztli went.
For your second question: there are a few design details I want to cover!
Regarding Agustín's hair, if you remove his bun and braid, it's meant to resemble his Step 1 hair style. The braid is a call back to his Step 3 hair, and his bangs are similar to his Step 2 hair. Of course, I kept his little hair swoop throughout all steps :)
His make up! They are meant to be wings to represent his freedom to express himself. Also, the ones next to his lips are meant to look a little like snake bites (I think that's the proper term). And, he's wearing lipstick for the same reason he wears a veil: being okay with wearing what's considered to be "traditionally feminine".
He's decked out with a lot of jewelry! It's a mix of all the jewelry he's worn throughout Step 1-3. Rings, necklaces, bracelets... His earrings have little rays of sun in them meant to mimic a rising sun :)
His pants were, honestly, the part I debated with for a while (alongside his veil). They can look a little silly, but they're meant to be a mix of Agustín's shorts in Step 1 and his jeans in Steps 2 and 3.
Now, I do want to cover both of the Solanos' actual character card text, but I quickly want to talk about the significance of the dahlia for Agustín.
So, first of all, dahlias are Mexico's national flower that why Agustín likes them so much. They remind him of home. Secondly, white dahlias are meant to symbolize new beginnings, which is why he asks for one when they first move in. A little reminder of home and to celebrate their new beginning. The little lace band on Agustín's arm is meant to be reminscient of a dahlia's petals. I will admit something... The reason I gave Agustín white hair is because of white dahlias. It was all planned from the beginning >:)
