Life Is...

And then I see that the caption says something like “oil on canvas”

Wood and Resin Rings / Pendants / Bow Ties

Croptops are for everyone!!

Boys can wear croptops Girls can wear croptops Nonbinary people can wear croptops Trans people can wear croptops Fat boys can wear crop tops Fat girls can wear crop tops Fat nonbinary people can wear croptops Fat trans people can wear croptops People with stretch marks can wear crop tops!!

Everyone can wear croptops

you aren’t a boy or a girl or anything or nothing based on your fat, and you aren’t NOT a boy or a girl or anything or nothing based on your fat! fat doesnt have anything to do with gender! if someone tells you that your fat makes you more or less of your gender, they’re wrong!

you can nonbinary with a fat tummy! with big arms! with or without boobs or a butt or a waist or thighs! you can be nonbinary with chubby cheeks and double chins! you can be nonbinary if your superfat too! you can be nonbinary with ANY body! you can be nonbinary at any size, height, or weight too!

you might feel dysphoria because of your body, even because of some of your fat. but i promise it isn’t the fat thats giving you dysphoria, it’s what people pretend that it means! its ok to transition while you’re fat! it’s ok for your transition to make you fat - in fact, it can be a great thing! it’s ok if your transition causes you to lose fat too (there might be a whole surgery about it :3), but please try not to lose fat on purpose, it’s not healthy. transitions should make you healthier by changing your body to what makes you feel euphoric as yourself! it’s tough, but try to recognise what makes you feel euphoric vs what makes you feel more “correct” by others’ standards - the former is what your transition should look like, not the latter!

whether you feel big, strong, weak, fluffy, soft, hard, heavy, chubby, big, or just plain fat, your gender is awesome and unique and your body is awesome too! it’s good how it is now and its good how it will be if you transition! any size, weight, or proportions are good! 

and, if you’re ok with this concept, fat nonbinary people are sexy too! you can be sexy however you want! your gender is what it is no matter how you have sex or feel sexy or with whom your have sex. and your fatness makes you sexy, because it is your body and you are sexy! you are desirable because you are fat and because you are nonbinary! i promise.

and finally it’s alright if it’s hard to believe me. i know i often feel like my fatness invalidates my gender and makes me ugly and worthless. but it should be okay for us to love our bodies and our genders and our selves! i want to try.

I want autistic characters that are adults. Not robots or monsters or children. Autistic adults.

I want nonbinary characters and asexual characters. ESPECIALLY nonbinary and asexual people of color (this was previously worded poorly and I apologize.)

Black trans men. I want black trans men to be cast in shows and movies. I want characters to be black trans men as well.

Show me trans characters that cannot medically transition.

Show me single dads.

Show me fat people loving themselves.

Show me men being able to freely express emotion.

Show me abortion in a positive context.

Promote healthy relationships for all kinds of couples. Children don’t need to learn all this toxic bullshit.

Show me a bad bitch in a wheel chair. I want a complete fucking badass.

Give me deaf characters being sweet and kind and also badasses.

After seeing a few of the tweets under the #FatSideStories tag, I was flooded with personal examples of externalized fatphobia.

Growing up as a fat girl, much of this has become internalized and plays a part in my life - from the way I dress to what/how I eat to where I go grocery shopping to how I have sex. Everything.

Examples I came up with in just 30 minutes of sitting with these thoughts:

* losing weight due to my ed and being told that to ‘keep it up’ and that im ‘looking healthier’ * people say we’re lazy and tell us to work out but take pictures of us and mock us in the gym * friends commenting on other fat people bodies’ but say they think youre pretty * 'youre not fat, youre beautiful’ not mutually exclusive but okay * feeling like its only fair to 'warn’ the person that you’re fat before you two go on a date * not being able to go clothes shopping with friends because (even if i wanted to) their stores generally dont carry my size OR they do in a corner in the back * “fat girls have the best personalities because they grew up ugly” “fat girls give better head because they’re desparate” “every girl needs to have big tits. fat girls have big tits but that doesnt count because they’re fat” “fat girls shouldnt wear that” * every doctor thinks every ailment will be cured with weightloss * every female cartoon villian is either old or fat * fat characters in movies are always the butt of the joke and often have to do degrading things that emphasize their fatness to entertain the other characters * “i like big girls” im not a fetish k thx bye * being scared to eat in public, shop in stores, etc because of all of the pictures on the internet making fun of fat people just living their lives * “you have such a pretty face” instead of 'you look pretty!’ * constant comments on the internet about how fat people loving themselves is promoting obesity * being afraid to work in a restaurant, be seen around certain foods, etc because you dont want people to further associate you with food * everyone tells you that you should work out & when you tell them you do, they dismiss it * people claiming that their fatphobia is out of concern for your health * constant before & after weightloss pics on the internet * having to be extra feminine, extra clean, extra sexual, extra dressed/made-up to avoid the 'lazy, dirty, ugly, undesirable’ stereotypes * eating everything with a fork and knife because every fat character in every movie ever eats and gets food all over their face and then made fun of * being attracted to anyone fat is seen as having a fetish, as if we are objects and not people * seriously considering doing drugs, weight loss surgery, etc as a teen to lose weight * not being able to believe that your partner is attracted to you because of internalized messages of not being desirable * being put on a diet as a child * being called the name of the other fat girl in the class because you know, we’re both fat so we’re obviously indistinguishable * friends constantly calling themselves fat as an insult right in front of you, an actual fat person * dreading group photos with friends * crying in dressing rooms because nothing ever fits * only being seen as acceptable on social media if you are completely done-up * no representation of cellulite or rolls or anyone plus-sized that isnt a perfect hourglass figure * acceptable fat = big boobs, big ass, small waist, perfect hourglass, flat stomach * old people calling you fat and everyone just shrugging and laughing it off * stressing during sex about how to angle your body to look the least fat instead of being able to actually enjoy the sex * having 10,000 more things to add to this list because internalized fatphobia is beyond pervasive

As a way to break this down and remove its influence over our fat person lives, we must be able to acknowledge it, challenge it internally, and then fight it outwardly by living courageously and actively ignoring these messages.

My fat friends, I know many of you will relate to this post and I want to say that I am proud of you for living and being and continuing to grow despite it all. Grow grow grow. Become the people you want to be and do not be afraid of taking up space on this planet.

And to my thin friends, please take this as an opportunity to experience just a pinch of what your fat friends have experienced their whole lives. When you forget about this post, we’ll still be living in it. Take this as a chance to acknowledge your thin privilege, a chance to change the ways you are externalizing your fatphobia, and lastly a chance to empathize with your fat friends. We need allies in changing how fat people are treated.

support fat people who don’t want to exercise or diet

support feminine fat people who don’t have traditionally attractive curves who have big bellies and small breasts and flat asses

support fat people who feel good about themselves

support fat people who WANT to feel good about themselves