letters.unsent

with every thought of him.

He lives in every place I go,

in every room, every hymn.

I chose this love not out of need

but out of something true.

And in that choosing I found home,

a world made whole by you.

His voice, my quiet. His smile, my light.

Not burden but my bloom.

I carry him not as a wound

but as my sweetest room.

This is not longing. This is love,

chosen, complete, and mine.

Filled to the edges, beyond all words,

beyond all space and time.

Not the love that answers calls,

or shows up when you spell it out

I mean the kind that finds you first,

the one that chose you, without doubt.

Before the asking, before the need,

before you learned to beg or wait

that's the love worth holding out for,

not the kind that comes too late.

I'm not broken, just done performing

for hands that never reach my way.

Silence isn't emptiness anymore

it's where I learned I'm okay.

I say I don’t believe in it. I say love doesn’t need a date.

But when your heart has chosen someone as 'home', it still waits… even if it pretends not to.

We’re not talking.

There’s silence where there used to be laughter.

But the moment I heard “Valentine,” it was his name that echoed inside me.

Not because I remembered him-

but because he never really leaves.

He lives in my thoughts like a permanent season.

People wait for one day to post, to confess, to show love.

But when you truly love someone, every ordinary day feels sacred.

Every sunrise is his.

Every night belongs to his memory.

It was 3 a.m.

The world was asleep.

I called him five times.

I knew he wouldn’t pick up.

I knew he was probably dreaming peacefully.

But still… I dialed.

Because sometimes love isn’t about being answered.

It’s about feeling connected.

And in those few seconds while the phone rang,

my heart felt closer to him.

As if the sound of the ring was travelling through the darkness,

finding him, touching him softly -

whispering, “She’s still here.”

Does he know I lose sleep thinking of him?

Does he know my nights are heavier when he’s distant?

Even if he never sees the missed calls,

even if he never asks why -

I know that for those few seconds,

my love reached his world.

Maybe not as my voice.

Maybe not as my name.

But as a vibration.

A signal.

A quiet proof that somewhere,

someone loves him so deeply

that even silence cannot stop her from trying.

Hopeless?

Maybe.

But when love is real,

hope never really dies.

The day smiled upon me, till dusk betrayed it.

Then came a sudden stillness - unnamed, unbidden

a terror without a face.

My heart emptied itself,

and I became a vessel without feeling.

I longed to sit unmoving,

as though motion itself might shatter me.

Fear wrapped the world in darkness

Like a rain-drowned midnight

where no candle dares to burn,

and silence speaks louder than thunder.

In that hollow hour, one truth rose above the void:

I knew the cure to my breaking.

It was not light, nor words, nor time -

it was you!

Only you.

He stays light

I speak in concern

He answers in silence or laughter

~ That mismatch is disturbing me- not him alone

"I am not in love, yet love hath laid his hand upon me"