I Feel God In This Chilies Tonight

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

straight boys that make homoerotic jokes piss me off it’s like do you want a blowjob or no

Bro let's watch a horror movie together.... Bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? If you wanna hold hands it's ok. If you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it's alright bro.... Bro if you wanna kiss thats understandable that was a scary movie.... We can keep cuddling after the movie is over it's alright dude....

Please fire me. I work at McDonald’s and last week I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to an old man they we do not sell hot dogs (McDogs as he claimed it) then he threatened to report me for “withholding products from him”!

hes from an alternate timeline

the McDogs man actually proves the multiverse theory

homophobic that im not a man in 1845 but the sexy version of 1845 where im wearing a poofy cool shirt and its a stormy summer night so i run to the big abandoned mansion for shelter and as i light a candle and walk the corridors i see portraits of a dashingly handsome man who seemingly never ages and then with a clap of thunder the top of the stairs illuminate and i see him standing there wearing a cape and then he tops me for like 7 hours at least

thats right gay men like vampires too. not all of us are into warewolves some of us are intellectuals

i mean im not but statistically speaking theres gotta be at least one who is

gays when a celebrity has more than 3% body fat: omg DAD BOD alert 🥵 so thicc!!

for y’all who are also bad at math but too lazy to bust out a calculator: 45 weeks is eleven months, just to make it clear how much she’s fucking with him

don’t talk to me until i’ve eaten my morning ass

LMAOOO :,)

if u can whistle youre straight

sounds like someone’s mad they can’t whistle