Claude Monet said, “Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love.” and Vincent Van Gogh said, “The way to know life is to love many things.” and “If I am worth something later, I am worth something now.” and Kurt Vonnegut said, “If this isn’t nice, I don't know what is.” and Fyodor Dostoevsky said, “Compassion was the most important, perhaps the sole law of human existence.” and James Wright said, “God, sometimes I am so happy I don't know what to do with me.” and I am really working on this happiness. 

i spend my days waiting. waiting for the water to boil and my tea to be ready. for spring to come back. for more daylight. the oil in the pan to heat up. a “hey i miss you” or “can you help me out for a second?” or “you want to hang out?” text. for my phone to finish charging. for good news. flowers on the table. the next hug. “hey, you got the job!”. waiting for the sun. to set. to rise. to see both. for summer to be around the corner. a good song. a falling star. a text back. i spend my time waiting to be remembered. i spend my time repeating that tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better. i spend my days waiting and waiting and waiting. i spend my days waiting unbearably.