Summary: After finding out that you have a crush on Kakashi, Jiraiya concocts a plan to get Kakashi to confess his love to the reader (in one of the most Jiraiya ways possible).
Warnings: Mild suggestive themes, jealousy, romantic tension, playful innuendo, humor.
You didnât mean to tell Naruto.
Honestly, you hadnât even realized you had until the words slipped out, light and thoughtless in the golden afternoon, while you sat beneath the old training ground oak, sharing lunch with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.
Theyâd been pestering you. Who was your type? Who did you like? Did you even have a crush? Do you want to spend your life lonely?
You shrugged, picking at your rice ball.
Sakura grinned wickedly, "Come on, Y/n, youâre not dead. Thereâs someone, right?â
You rolled your eyes. âFine, maybe a little crush. Happy?â
Naruto leaned in eagerly. âWHO??â
Sasuke, half-bored, half-annoyed, muttered, âItâs probably someone lame.â
And, without thinking, without even meaning to really say it, you mumbled, âMaybe⌠Kakashi.â
Narutoâs eyes bugged out like ramen bowls, "WHAAAAAAT?!"
âBe quiet,â you hissed, clamping a hand over his mouth, your face blazing hot.
But the damage was done. Sakura gasped. Sasukeâs mouth twitched like he was fighting a smirk. Naruto was practically vibrating.
And Naruto... well. Naruto could never keep a secret for longer than he could go without eating.
You realized how bad it was hours later, when a familiar, booming laugh echoed across the street, making villagers glance around nervously.
You turned, and there he was, Jiraiya, the Toad Sage himself, striding towards you with an all-too-knowing grin.
"Y/n," he drawled, tossing an arm over your shoulders, "I hear you're struggling with some matters of the heart."
You stiffened. "I- I don't know what you're talking about."
He only chuckled, deep and sly. "Narutoâs not exactly a vault, you know." His grin widened. "Lucky for you, I'm willing to help."
"Simple," he said, winking. "Pretend to be interested in me. Get Kakashiâs blood boiling. Nothing makes a man move faster than a little competition."
You opened your mouth. Shut it. Open again. "Thatâs insane."
He grinned harder. "Maybe. But are you gonna tell me itâs a bad idea?"
"I mean," you mumbled, staring at the ground, "I donât think itâll work anyway. Iâm not exactly... the kind of girl someone like Kakashi would get jealous over."
You said it lightly, joking almost, but it stung. Worse, Jiraiya caught the truth of it immediately.
"Hmm," he said thoughtfully, tapping his chin. "Sounds like a good research topic."
"Of course." His eyes twinkled. "Let's prove how wrong you are, shall we?"
You made sure to cross Kakashiâs path at the market, laughing way too loudly at something Jiraiya said. (Jiraiyaâs joke had been about a frog falling into a bathhouse; it wasn't even funny, but you laughed like it was comedy gold.)
Kakashi was there. You knew he was there before you even saw him.
You felt him, the quiet tension, the way the lazy, half-lidded stare snapped a little sharper, the subtle turn of his masked face toward you.
He didnât say anything. Didnât even move.
It continued innocently enough.
You were walking beside Jiraiya, laughing over something stupid Naruto had said earlier in training, probably about ramen or toads or his constant near-death experiences that he somehow turned into punchlines.
Jiraiyaâs voice boomed as he chuckled beside you. âYou know, I always said that kid was a walking disaster. Takes after me, clearly.â
You snorted, elbowing him. âThatâs not something to brag about.â
âYou wound me,â Jiraiya said dramatically, clutching his chest like youâd stabbed him. âAnd here I thought I was charming you with my wit.â
You grinned. âOh, is that what this is? A seduction attempt?â
He gasped. âAttempt? My dear, I am a living legend.â
You both laughed, really laughed, and as your shoulders bumped, his hand lifted and dropped easily across your upper back. A heavy, teasing weight. Just enough to make you stumble a bit and instinctively reach out, your hand catching his side, your body leaning into his to catch your balance.
It would have been nothing. Would have passed, unnoticedâŚexcept Kakashi was across the street.
You didnât see him right away.
Not until Jiraiyaâs hand lingered and he leaned down, teasing, âSo, this is how rumors start, hm?â
You arched a brow. âWhat, you can dish it out but canât take a little contact, old man?â
âOh no, I can take it,â he said smoothly, voice dipping low. âIn fact, I might request more.â
You laughed, a little breathlessly this time. âJiraiya, are you flirting with me?â
He smirked. âAre you asking me to stop?â
And thatâs when you felt it.
That strange, electric awareness.
You followed the pull of it, across the street, past the bakery cart, to the man in gray, leaning against a post with one hand in his pocket and the other loosely holding his book, unread.
He wasnât even pretending to read.
He was watching, still as stone. Eye unreadable, but locked on you.
You straightened a bit, flushing.
Jiraiya noticed the shift in your posture and followed your gaze.
âOhhh,â he drawled under his breath, grinning, âHeâs watching.â
You tried to hide your smile. âItâs not working. He doesnât even look bothered.â
Jiraiya gave a knowing chuckle. âThat man is seething. Trust me. Iâve known Kakashi a long time. His silence? Means heâs losing his mind.â
You cast another glance toward Kakashi. Still motionless. Still staring.
âThink heâll say something?â you asked softly.
Jiraiya shook his head. âNope. Not yet. Heâs going to stew. You just rocked his foundation, Y/n. Let him marinate in that.â
You groaned. âThis is mean. Weâre being mean.â
âWeâre being educational,â Jiraiya corrected. âYouâre showing him what itâs like to want something and think youâve lost it. Thatâs the only thing thatâll make him move.â
You looked back again, unable to stop yourself.
Kakashiâs eye shifted, and for one dizzying second, your gazes locked.
A jolt, like chakra crackling under skin.
Then, slowly, his eye narrowed just slightly.
Just⌠sharp. Focused. And possessive.
Your breath hitched, âOh,â you whispered.
Jiraiya grinned, satisfied. âThere it is.â
Narutoâs brilliant idea (âLetâs REALLY make him mad!â) involved dragging you and Jiraiya to Ichiraku Ramen for dinner.
Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke âcoincidentallyâ showed up too, lurking behind menus like the worst spies in shinobi history. And of course, Kakashi âcoincidentallyâ walked in not long after, the faint smell of rain and cedar clinging to him as he coolly nodded to Teuchi and slid onto a stool two seats down from yours.
You felt his presence before you saw him, the subtle shift in the air, the weight of his gaze brushing against the back of your neck.
You and Jiraiya leaned close, far closer than was strictly necessary, whispering conspiratorially. You could feel Kakashiâs focus on the movement of your shoulder brushing Jiraiyaâs sleeve, the way your hair swayed forward like youâd just let your guard down.
You knew Kakashi could hear you.
You knew he wasnât really reading that book he was pretending to hold.
Your skin prickled with awareness, every nerve on edge. Your heart was hammering against your ribs.
Jiraiyaâs voice dropped low enough that only you and Kakashi would catch it.
âRight now,â Jiraiya murmured, lips curling in a knowing smirk, âKakashiâs thinking about grabbing me by the collar and hauling me outside.â
You almost choked on your noodles, hiding your laugh behind your hand.
âThatâs ridiculous,â you whispered back, though your voice betrayed the tiniest hitch.
âOh no,â Jiraiya said, grinning as if heâd just uncovered a hidden treasure. âItâs not ridiculous at all. Heâs calculating how far he can push before you notice. How far he can let me push before he snaps. Because heâs Kakashi⌠and Kakashiâs a slow burn. Heâll stew. Heâll agonize. Until it breaks him.â
You caught a glimpse of Kakashiâs hand, knuckles white around his chopsticks. His jaw, barely visible under the mask, had gone taut.
âYouâre imagining things,â you said softly, though your own chopsticks hesitated halfway to your lips.
âAm I?â Jiraiya leaned even closer, deliberately brushing your hand as he reached for the soy sauce. âBecause if I were him, Iâd be picturing the two of us in the exact position weâre in now, except his hand would be on the back of your neck. And heâd be making damn sure I got the message.â
The words sent a shiver straight down your spine. You felt Kakashiâs attention sharpen like the edge of a kunai.
âCareful,â you murmured, your pulse thrumming in your throat. âHe might just surprise you.â
From two seats away, Kakashi finally turned a page in that book, slow, deliberate, and utterly unnecessary.
âTeuchi,â he said, voice calm but cutting through the air like smoke. âCould you pass the chili oil?â
Teuchi slid it toward him. But instead of setting it on the counter, Kakashi stood and crossed the short distance between you, placing it directly in front of you with a lazy precision that made the hair on your arms stand on end.
âCareful,â he murmured, eyes holding yours over the rim of his mask. âItâs stronger than it looks.â
Your breath caught. Jiraiya smirked into his ramen.
Kakashiâs gaze lingered on you for a beat too long before he returned to his seat, flipping another page without looking down.
It was a page you were willing to bet heâd already read. Twice.
The tension held like a bowstring until Jiraiya finally clapped a hand on the counter and declared, "Come on, Iâll walk you home."
Kakashi stood up at the exact same time you did. Too casual. Too timed.
"Heading out," he said, voice mild, slipping the book into his pocket.
"Donât let us keep you," Jiraiya replied cheerfully, steering you toward the street. "Iâll make sure she gets home safe."
"Iâm sure you will," Kakashi murmured.
You frowned a little at the edge in his tone, but Jiraiya just looked smug.
The streets were quiet this time of night, lanterns casting long shadows. You walked with your hands in your pockets, Jiraiya matching your stride. Behind you, a faint scuff of footsteps echoed.
"Someoneâs following us," you whispered.
"I know." Jiraiya didnât even look back. "Relax. Itâs just your guard dog."
You rolled your eyes. "Kakashi isnât-"
"Sure," Jiraiya cut in. "And Iâm not intentionally making him want to put me through a wall."
You bit back a laugh, "Youâre enjoying this way too much."
"Of course I am. Heâs a good man, but I canât let him think youâre too easy to win over. Makes him fight harder."
"Youâre insufferable." Your eyes roll in response before you even realize.Â
"And yet youâre smiling."
By the time you reached your door, you could still feel the heat of Kakashiâs quiet shadow behind you. Jiraiya paused, hands in his pockets, and gave you a long, deliberate look before stepping in and pulling you into a firm hug.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he murmured.
You hugged him back, warm and fond. But as you stepped away, you caught the barest flicker of movement down the street, silver hair, one hand shoved in his pocket, the other drumming against his thigh in a slow, barely restrained rhythm.
Even at a distance, you could feel the heat rolling off him.
And you were in so much trouble.
Kakashi watched you from behind his mask, trying to reason with himself.
Itâs none of your business. Youâre her teacher. Her friend. Barely more. Sheâs free to... be with whoever she wants.
But no matter how hard he tried, the ache in his chest wouldnât go away.
Seeing Jiraiya lean close, watching you laugh like that, that sweet, open laugh you usually only gave to friends, it made something ugly rise up in him.
He thought he was above this kind of petty jealousy.
Kakashi wasnât expecting to see you this early in the morning. He was on his way to the training ground, hands in his pockets, already running through the exercises he wanted to put Team 7 through when⌠there you were.
Not on the way to the training grounds. Not even in your usual mission gear.
Sitting in the open-air corner of a small tea shop with Jiraiya of all people, your elbows on the table, a cup steaming between your palms. And in front of you, a messy stack of papers bound together with a string, his new manuscript.
You were laughing. The kind of laugh Kakashi had heard maybe three times in his life, bright, unguarded, the kind that made people turn to see what was so funny.
Jiraiya had probably caught you after your morning market run, Kakashi guessed. Convinced you to âjust walk with him for a secondâ under the pretense of asking your opinion on some research, and then somehow talked you into reading his work aloud over tea.
Jiraiya leaned closer to you in the shop, lowering his voice. âNow, if we picture you in this scene-â
You choked on your tea, âAbsolutely not.â
âWhy not?â he asked with mock innocence. âYouâve got the poise, the looks-â
âAnd the ability to leave,â you interrupted, flipping the page with a sharp snap.
Jiraiya chuckled, but there was something knowing in his gaze, as if he could feel the chakra spike of a certain someone watching from down the street.
âCome on, you have the voice for it,â Kakashi could almost hear Jiraiya say in that teasing tone of his. Youâd protest, but your curiosity would get the better of you. And once you got pulled into a story, you didnât just read it, you lived it.
Right now, you were leaning forward, voice low and dramatic as you read a line that made Jiraiya slap the table in delight. Your lips curved around the words, drawing them out. Your eyes flicked up at him with mock severity when you reached an especially ridiculous romantic metaphor.
Kakashiâs gaze lingered on that tiny smile tugging at your mouth. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.
ââŚShe gazed into his eyes,â you read aloud, âand felt the heat of a thousand suns melt her resolveâŚâ You broke off, snorting. âSeriously? Heat of a thousand suns? Sheâd be ash.â
Jiraiya waved you off like a man above such mortal concerns. âPoetic license, sweetheart. Now keep going. This is the good part.â
Kakashiâs eyes narrowed just slightly. The good part? He didnât like the sound of that. He stepped toward the shop, just enough for you to notice him in your periphery.
âOh, Kakashi,â you said, glancing up mid-sentence. âWeâre not going to make training today, Jiraiya asked me to help with his draft.â
Jiraiya grinned like a fox whoâd stolen a particularly shiny hen. âDonât worry, Iâll make sure sheâs not working too hard.â
There was a faint, wry edge to Kakashiâs voice when he replied, âGlad to know where your priorities are.â
You tilted your head, as if trying to gauge if he was joking, and went back to reading.
Jiraiya took a sip of his tea and murmured something to you that made you roll your eyes and swat at his arm.
Kakashi turned away before he could see any more, his book now held higher than usual, pages turning with deliberate care.
He was definitely not thinking about how easily Jiraiya had pulled you away from training. And he was absolutely not annoyed that you were reading to someone else.
Later that day, he cornered Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura after training.
Leaning against a tree with false casualness, he asked, âSo, Y/n and Jiraiya. Are they⌠together?â
Sasuke muttered, "Tch," and looked away.
The worst lying trio in the history of lies.
Naruto, sweating bullets, piped up way too fast, âY-YEAH. Theyâre... dating! Super serious! Totally real!â
Sakura elbowed him sharply. âYeah,â she said weakly. âTheyâre... in love.â
Sasuke muttered, deadpan, âTheyâre basically married.â
Kakashi narrowed his eye at them.
He didnât believe a word.
But what if⌠What if it was true?
The thought hollowed him out from the inside.
Iâm going to lose her, he thought, sudden and sick and sharp.
The sky was bleeding silver outside your window, moonlight painting pale shadows across your floor. The village was quiet, save for the soft rustle of wind in the trees and the occasional whistle of a passing ANBU patrol.
You sat curled on the edge of your couch, nursing a cup of half-cold tea and staring at your reflection in the darkened glass.
This whole plan⌠the teasing, the pretending, the flirtation, it had started as a silly, half-serious attempt to get his attention. To crack the shell. To see if he felt anything like what you did.
Now you felt like youâd broken something.
You exhaled softly, setting the cup down on the table, just as the quiet knock came.
Not a loud one. Not hurried.
Just a soft, deliberate knock. Familiar.
You stood slowly. Moved to the door. Opened it.
No book. No mask. No mission gear. Just him.
Hair tousled by the wind. Face shadowed in the moonlight. His expression unreadable, but his eye?
You blinked up at him, stunned. â...Kakashi?â
He didnât answer right away. He just stared at you.
Like he was trying to memorize every inch of your face. Like heâd already forgotten how to speak.
Finally, he said, quietly, raw, âDonât let him touch you like that again.â
Your stomach dropped. You took a step back. Not away from him, just to breathe.
âI thought you said it wasnât your business,â you whispered.
âI lied,â he said. âIt is my business. Itâs been my business for a long time.â
Your fingers curled against the doorframe, âKakashi-â
He stepped forward once. Into the frame. Into your space, âI canât watch you pretend to want someone else.âÂ
His voice was rough, like gravel under silk. âI thought I could. I thought⌠if it made you happy, Iâd survive it. Iâd be your friend. Iâd smile and nod and let you go.â
You swallowed. âBut you didnât.â
He shook his head. âNo. I didnât.â
There was silence. Thick. Cracking at the seams.
You finally looked at him, really looked, and whispered, âWhy now?â
His jaw clenched. âBecause I canât sleep. Because every time I see him with his hands on you, I want to kill him. Because Iâm an idiot, and I didnât say it when I shouldâve. And now I donât know if Iâm too late.â
Your heart stuttered painfully. âYouâre not.â
His eye snapped to yours. Wide. Bare.
âYouâre not too late,â you repeated softly.
For the first time, something in him broke.
He stepped fully into your apartment, kicked the door shut with his heel, and cupped your face with both hands, forehead falling to yours, breath shallow.
âI canât promise Iâll be good at this,â he murmured. âIâve lost more than Iâve loved. But Iâll try. If youâll let me. Iâll try for you.â
You closed your eyes. Your heart ached with it, with the sincerity, with the sheer aching restraint in his voice.
âYou donât have to try,â you whispered. âJust stay.â
Not a perfect kiss. Not polished or poised or seductive.
Like heâd been holding his breath for weeks, and you were the air. Like he needed to know you werenât a dream.
His lips moved with restraint, then hesitance, then hunger, tongue flicking against your lower lip like a question he didnât quite dare ask. His fingers splayed across your jaw, the curve of your neck, trying to memorize the feel of you under them.
When you finally broke apart, he didnât pull back far.
Just rested his forehead against yours again.
He whispered it like a secret, âI love you.â
He said it again, quieter.
âI donât know how to do this, but I love you.â
You smiled, tears already threatening. âThen weâll learn together.â
And he held you there, like the storm had finally passed.
Like, for the first time in years, he wasnât alone.
You were glowing. You couldnât help it.
It was subtle, the kind of glow only people who know you very well would catch. A looseness in your shoulders. A softness around your eyes. The way your fingers occasionally brushed your lips like they still remembered something sweet.
You had slept with your head on his chest. His fingers had traced patterns on your back until you dozed off. Youâd woken up tangled in each other, with the kind of quiet warmth between you that couldnât be faked.
Kakashi had pressed one last kiss to your temple before vanishing with a mumbled, âI have to go... before Naruto gets any ideas.â
You hadnât made it very far.
âSOMETHING HAPPENED,â Naruto announced dramatically, pointing a finger at you the moment you arrived.
You blinked. âGood morning to you, too.â
âNo, no, no, donât change the subject. Youâre smiling like someone gave you a lifetime supply of free tea.â
âI smile all the time.â You mutter.Â
âNot like that,â Sakura chimed in, arms crossed and eyes gleaming. âThatâs post-confession smiling.â
Sasuke raised a brow. âAbout time.â
You flushed instantly. âOkay, hold on-â
âNo way,â Naruto gasped. âDid it work?! Did the plan actually work?! Did sensei- did he- did he kiss you?!â
You smothered your face in your hands.
Sakura grabbed Narutoâs sleeve. âShh, shut up, what if heâs nearby-â
âHe BETTER be nearby, I helped orchestrate this whole thing!â Naruto roared, doing a little victory spin. âIâm practically your matchmaker! I should get to name your kids, ow!â
You swatted him. âStop yelling!â
But it was too late. A familiar chakra signature flared from behind you.
Kakashi. Leaning against a tree. Book in hand. Mask back on. But his visible eye?
You groaned. âYou heard all of that, didnât you?â
He turned a page lazily. âEvery word.â
Naruto looked between you both, then pumped his fist into the air like heâd just won free ramen for a year. âYES. I KNEW IT. YOU OWE ME RAMEN, SAKURA.â
She rolled her eyes. âOnly if they last more than a week.â
âBet,â Sasuke muttered.
Kakashi raised a brow at you, clearly amused. âDid you tell them?â
âI didnât have to,â you grumbled. âApparently, Iâm not subtle.â
Kakashiâs eye softened. âNo. Youâre just⌠radiant.â
The group went dead silent.
Narutoâs jaw dropped. âDid he- DID HE JUST-?!â
âDid he say radiant?!â Sakura gasped.
Sasuke looked vaguely ill.
âIâm going to pass out,â Naruto whispered. âKakashi-sensei is romantic? Iâve been living a LIE-!â
And that was when Jiraiya appeared.
âSomeone said romantic?â He landed in a swirl of wind and dust, white mane wild, grin huge. âYou finally cracked the Copy Ninja? I knew you had it in you.â
You crossed your arms. âYou sound disappointed.â
âIâm heartbroken,â Jiraiya said, mock-clutching his chest. âHere I was, offering my wisdom, my charm, my undivided attention-â
âYou offered to âstudy me for research,ââ you interrupted flatly.
He wagged a finger. âA very noble sacrifice.â
Kakashi had his book open again, but his eye flicked up at that.
âSacrifice any harder,â he said evenly, âand youâll need a hospital bed.â
Naruto made a strangled choking sound. âWas that a threat?â
Sakura blinked. âDid he just glare at Jiraiya?â
Jiraiya laughed nervously. âAlright, alright, no need for the murder-eyes. You win, Copy Ninja. I humbly bow out.â
He winked at you. âUnless you change your mind.â
âShe wonât,â Kakashi said.
And then, very subtly, like it was nothing, he reached over and took your hand.
Laced your fingers together. In front of everyone.
âOH MY GOD THEYâRE HOLDING HANDS-â
 âSENSEI HAS A GIRLFRIEND-â
Jiraiya sighed like a proud father giving away a bride. âWell, I suppose this will make an excellent chapter for my next novel.â
You groaned. âPlease donât-â
Too late. He was already scribbling.
Kakashi leaned down to murmur near your ear, his voice low, warm, amused, âStill think I wouldnât get jealous?â
You looked up at him, smiling like a fool. âMaybe just a little more, next time.â
He squeezed your hand. âCareful. I might just throw you over my shoulder next time and make it very obvious.â
And if he kissed your temple right in front of all three of them?
Sasuke rolled his eyes and muttered, âTook you long enough.â
Because finally, you were his.