break me off

The sheet beneath you is damp with tears, your chest aches, your mind is exhausted, your emotions are drained and utterly spent. It wasn’t a single, ‘I’m done,’ type of thing. It was days. Trying to talk it out, trying to make it work despite knowing it couldn’t. 

Now you’re laying in a dark room, under the covers completely broken. You wonder if you could’ve been something else for him. But you know it would’ve been at the expense of your happiness. That you wouldn’t have been you if you tried to be what he needed. And he didn’t want you to be anything but yourself, just like you didn’t want him to be anyone but himself. 

It simply was no one’s fault. 

A stream of light barely shines into the room. 

Chan. Your roommate. Your best friend. 

Your tears are silent but violent, your body is shaking slightly. You feel the mattress dip with his weight and the covers raise and his body heat floods your back. His arm snakes around your waist as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“It’s gonna be okay…” he trails off, trying to offer some sort of comfort. But it only makes you cry harder.

“I thought I had forever with him,” you sob out quietly, “I considered changing for him.” 

Chan’s arm only tightens around you, pulling you in closer.

“You don’t have to change for the right person,” he reminds you gently. 

“What if I can’t find the right person?” That’s it. That’s part of the fear. You thought you had everything figured out because it was supposed to be him. Now you’re mourning what you thought you had. Now you’re afraid you won’t find better.

“Y/n, the right person is out there. I promise.” he whispers in your ear. You turn to face him and bury your face in his neck, breathing in the scent of clean soap and light cologne. 

“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” he whispers into your hair before planting a soft kiss on your temple.

“I just wanted it to be him so bad,” your voice comes out weak and whimpery. 

“I know sweetheart,” he says sympathetically.

“Does it ever get better?” A sharp sniffle leaves you. 

“Yeah… eventually,” he says, his own heart breaking.

-

Over the few days slowly your heart starts to heal, to a point where crying is little to nonexistent. Chan has been there for all of it. Letting your tears soak his shirt when needed, with your favorite foods and movies. He’s done all the cooking, letting you rot on the couch when needed. 

Days turn to weeks. Weeks turn into months and life starts to finally feel normal again. 

One afternoon Chan comes home.

“Get dressed. We’re going out.”  

“What, but I’m in my sweats and eating popco-” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll take you somewhere fancy. My treat.” For a moment you consider fighting him. But you decide it’s a waste of time. 

Your feet pad down the hall to the bedroom and you pull out your favorite dress from your closet. You do your makeup and hair, fixing yourself up before slipping on your garments and walking out in a pair of heels. 

Chan changes his clothes, a nice pair of pants and button down shirt. 

He’s waiting on you when you walk into the kitchen and his eyes widen slightly. 

“Wow… you clean up well..” his voice is slightly higher, and he clears his throat before giving you a soft smile. A soft blush blooms on your cheeks as you smile bashfully and grab your purse.

-

The restaurant is upscale, classy and definitely took some planning.

“Yeah, reservation for 2,” Chan says as you look around at the grand establishment. 

You walk through the place, sitting down at a table cloth clad table, a booth, its private- intimate even. You order drinks and your meal, the night goes well. Two friends catching up on daily life, Chan going on and on about new songs and sounds, how Han almost broke the microphone when he went a little hard in the sound booth, and how Lee Know was really off key that day so they’re going to have to re-record tomorrow. 

You’re laughing at a story about Seungmin making fun of I.N when you see it. Your heart rate skyrockets and your breath catches. 

Him. Your ex. He walks in with a new girl on his arm and your stomach turns in knots. Chan sees the instant change in you, goosebumps raise up on your skin as if the room dropped 20 degrees. 

Chan follows your line of sight and his back goes rigid. Were you over the heartbreak? Mostly. You accepted that it was over, but that didn’t make seeing him any easier, especially with someone new. Chan notices the way you shrink into yourself. He grabs your hand and rubs his thumb over your knuckles. 

“You okay?” 

You give him a simple nod. 

“Y/n?” That familiar voice calls. Your stomach drops and you stare at Chan with wide eyes. In the blink of an eye Chan winks before plastering a smile on his face. Your brows furrow. 

“Hey, Cade,” he smiles all too politely. You look over and notice the slightly confused expression on your ex-boyfriend's face. 

“Hey, i, uh, didn’t know you would be here tonight.” 

“Yeah well, my girl deserves the best.” He chimes in effortlessly, his thumb resuming the circles on your hand. You can’t fake the genuinely amused smile that appears , because you see the lines creasing on Cade’s face. 

“You two are… together.. Now?” 

“Yeah, and man I can’t thank you enough for letting her go. I finally got my chance and I don’t plan on squandering it.” 

Your cheeks heat up and you look down at the table. Cade is speechless. 

“Well… congratulations… It’s good seeing ya, y/n.” he says and awkwardly waves to go back to his table. You give him a tight lipped smile and turn to face Chan who looks like the cat who ate the canary. 

“Why did you do that?!” You whisper yell. Chan only smirks before slightly cutting his eyes at your ex’s table and turning to you. 

“Because I wanted to see him uncomfortable.” His nonchalant tone causes you to furrow your brows.

“Maybe we should just go,” you start to slide out of the booth but Chan gently grips your wrist.

“Don’t let him ruin our meal. Please?” 

You sigh begrudgingly.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” you tease him. But part of you liked how he was acting. It was sweet, respectful, but dominant in a way that makes you feel safe. Like he knows exactly what he’s doing and has it all under control. 

“Wanna kick it up a notch?” He smirks playfully. You raise a brow in silent question.

“What do you mean?” 

He slides in the booth beside you, putting his arm around your shoulder.

“He’s looking, just go with it,” he whispers in your ear, causing your stomach to knot and goosebumps to litter your skin again. A blush spreads on your cheeks and down your neck.

“Mhm, just like that. Good girl.” He teases lightly trying to get more of a reaction. 

And boy does it. A soft giggle leaves you by accident and you lean into him trying to hide your face in his neck. You bite down on your bottom lip as he chuckles and lets you hide. For a moment, there’s no game, there’s no show, it’s just you, Chan and something between you now that’s starting to feel a little too real. 

The waiter returns with your meals, sitting them down on the table, and you give a shy smile thanking him. Chan kisses your forehead then your cheek before turning to his plate. For a brief moment, you miss the feeling of his warmth around your shoulders. But you force yourself to eat, glancing around noticing Cade’s eyes as they glance towards your table. You quickly look down at your food and eat. 

One of Chan’s hands rests on your thigh. Something in your chest tightens as you place your hand over his for a second before cutting a piece of your food. 

Over the course of dinner you halfway forget what’s happening is meant to be for show. Your smile becomes brighter, your giggles become genuine, and out of the corner of your eye, Cade is still sparing the two of you glances. 

As dinner winds down, Chan takes your hand and helps you up out of the booth, smiling like he’s a fool in love. Your expression mirrors his as he kisses your forehead before paying at the counter and walking out.

-

On the ride home, reality crashes in violently. 

A show. A performance. All of it, fake. And it breaks your heart in a way you hadn’t anticipated. The drive home is in silence, your eyes watching as the world blurs by in the car. The silence is tense, filled with words you wish you could say. But Chan is your friend. That’s all he would ever be. 

The car pulls into the parking garage, and the walk up to your shared apartment is still silent. 

“You okay?” His voice cuts through the silence like a sharp blade. 

“Mhm,” you nod, but both of you know it’s not true. You don’t look at him, only staring at the stainless steel doors of the elevator. 

Finally they open to your floor. The short walk from the elevator to the door is tense, and each second that passes makes you wish you could just get out of this situation. 

Finally the door opens, the apartment is dark, lit only by the moonlight coming in from the windows. 

“Thanks for tonight,” you say quietly, and yet it sounds too loud in the dead silence of the living room. 

“Y/n,” he says softly. You stop, your back to him, eyes staring down the hallway to your bedroom.

“Yeah?” Your voice comes out cracked, you hadn’t even realized that a tear had tracked its way down your cheek until you reached up to your face and felt the wetness there. Chan’s hand gently grips your wrist and spins you to face him. His eyes are laced with worry as they rake over your expression.

“What’s a matter?” He whispers, cupping your face. 

“Nothing,” you whisper, a blatant lie. Chan’s thumb brushes away the tear. 

“It was just.. Seeing him and the way you treated me tonight… it was nice to feel wanted again… and then it made me miss it worse,” you barely whisper. 

His forehead goes to yours. 

“You are wanted,” he rasps. 

“Chan-” 

“I want you,” he admits before you can finish. Your breath hitches. Your eyes look back and forth between his. Before Chan can really over think it, his lips find yours in a sweet, soft but also assured kiss. He knows what he wants, and he’s making it clear. 

A surprised noise leaves you, your lips paralyzed for only a few moments before they move against his, your hands gripping his wrists. Its magical, it’s soft but sure. It’s two friends crossing a line neither knew the other one wanted to. 

Chan pulls you closer, his tongue darting over your bottom lip and your mouth parts for him, letting him explore. His tongue glides against yours and a soft whimper escapes your throat. You can feel him smirk slightly against your mouth as one hand slides into your hair and one goes around your waist. Your arms snake around his neck, forcing the two of you closer together. 

“Tell me to stop,” he breathes against your mouth. 

“Nuh uh,” you respond immediately. He breaks the kiss, taking a moment to search your face for any uncertainty. 

“If we do this,” he whispers, letting the sentence hang. For a moment the only sound heard is your mutual heavy breathing. This is it. Do you cross the line forever? Is it already crossed? Probably. 

You take his hand, lacing your fingers together before gently pulling him towards your bedroom with a soft, shy smile. He follows, wordlessly.

You pull him down on top of you as your back hits the mattress. His nose brushes yours before he kisses you deeply. His hands start to roam, hiking your leg up over his hip as he ruts slightly against you, causing you to gasp. 

“Chan-” you breathe against his mouth. The outline is felt, he’s beyond ready. 

“Need you,” he breathes before capturing your lips again. He removes your dress and his lips find your neck, one hand pulling up your dress to expose your body to him. He pulls back, looking down at you like you're a rare work of art. 

“Fuck,” he breathes deeply before kissing you deeply again. He leaves open mouthed kisses down your neck and chest down to your sternum, before taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking softly, tongue swiping across it, causing short soft bits of pleasure to shoot into your abdomen, making your hips roll upward. The sounds you make cause his hips to stutter. His eyes roll back into his head as he feels slight friction against himself. He lets go, giving the other side attention. 

Once he lets go he smiles up at you.

“Such a good girl for me,” he flicks your hardened bud with the tip of his tongue forcing a soft cry from your throat. He chuckles before kissing down your stomach. 

“So pretty,” he whimpers against your hips as he thrusts his hips into the mattress now. He pulls your underwear down in one swoop, settling between your legs. He kisses up your thighs, and for a moment you can feel the frustration building. He chuckles as he see the way your hips jerk slightly.

“Paitence baby,” he tuts and you whine in response. He chuckles before kissing over your mound, spreading you open and blowing slightly against your bare core. 

You hiss in response, your back arching slightly. While your brain still processes the foreign feeling, suddenly a warm, wet feeling hits you. 

His tongue. It laves over your nub. A gasp leaves you as your eyes roll back and your back arches as he gently, teasingly assaults you. Your hips buck slightly against his mouth, forcing him to hook his arms around your thighs, holding you still as he feasts now, locking his eyes with yours. Moans, whimpers, groans and cries fill the room as he bares down, pushing you just to the edge, before backing off. His tongue traces figure 8’s on you before circling and sucking like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He plunges his tongue into your hole, making your back arch as he simply chuckles, forcing a vibration against you.

His finger replaces his tongue, slowly making the come hither motion. He quickly adds another, finding that beautiful spot inside you. Forcing out cock hardening sounds to leave your mouth as his tongue strikes your nub. Your hand grips his hair, pulling him closer. 

“Chan!” Your voice breaks on his name as the tightening in your stomach begins. 

“Don’t stop, please, baby, don’t-” a sharp cry leaves you suddenly as he hits your sweet spot faster.. He starts moaning, forcing vibrations to push you over the edge, causing you to cry out, your thighs to clamp around his head and your back to leave the mattress. 

He works you through your orgasm, only stopping when you try to push his headway from overstimulation. 

“Fuck you taste so good,” he says once he kisses up your body back to your lips, his tongue plunging into your mouth, letting you taste yourself. His hands work to get his pants and boxers off. 

“This okay?” He whispers, double checking your consent. 

“Yeah,” you whisper back. He nods and finishes undressing. He hovers above you. 

“I’m gonna go slow, just tell me if I need to stop,” he warns gently and you nod. He lines himself up, his eyes going to yours as he pushes in. 

“Oh God,” he groans as you gasp. 

“That’s it, baby. Just take it,” he breathes into your ear. You whimper in response as he finally gets himself sheathed inside you.

“Fuck you feel so good… Like home,” he says lowly in your ear. He pulls out and slides back in, creating a gentle rhythm. He takes your hand, lacing your fingers with his, beside your head as his eyes peer down into yours. Your mouth hangs open slightly as the pleasure starts to build. 

“God you sound so pretty like this,” he moans as he hears you whimper and moan. Your legs hook around his waist, letting him drive in deeper. He kisses along your neck, sucking marks and nipping at the skin there below your ear. 

“Y/n,” he groans as your muscles squeeze him.

“Feels so good,” you whimper, hips bucking to meet his thrusts as he picks up the pace. He kisses you deeply, tongue plunging in and out of your mouth in time with his thrusts. 

“You’re everything,” he growls softly. Your body arches into him, your chests pressed together. 

“I love you, Chan,” you breathe as your bodies start to tense, pleasure and heat rising between you. 

“I love you more,” he breathes before going faster, forcing you to completely abandon all thought. Only feelings exist. Only pleasure. Only him. 

“Chan- ah!” Your body desperately tries to writhe beneath him as he sucks a nipple into his mouth causing you to groan. 

The tightness builds, your muscles contracting before a scream rips from your lungs and your body trembles as you squeeze around him, forcing him over the edge. 

“Shit,” you breathe deeply despite the trembling. For a moment the two of you are suspended in a tense moment of realization. You did it… You felt wanted… You felt desired and loved. You still do. 

“Chan,” you whisper and he takes one of his hands and cups your face.

“Please don’t tell me you regret it,” he whispers vulnerably. You immediately shake your head.

“No- no I don’t,” you reassure him and it’s like you can see the relief on his face.

“Good, because I don’t either.” He kisses you chastely before pulling out slowly, making you both groan. He grabs a towel, wiping off both him and you. Your hips twitch as he gets close to your clit. 

“Sorry.” His voice is gentle as he methodically and carefully cleans you up. He discards the towel and pulls you into his arms. 

“It was nice to feel like you were mine for a night,” he says in your ear. 

“It was nice to feel like yours,” you admit. 

“I want to feel that all the time.” 

“Me too,” you look up at him, eyes wide and puppy-like. He smiles and kisses you passionately. 

“Good, because I’m not letting go. Not ever,” he whispers against your lips.

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"Oooh, that's pretty..." you mumbled to yourself under your breath, feet having slowed down outside the display window of a very Parisian boutique. "Binnie, do you think your mom would like that sweater?"

Idly reaching your hand out to where you thought your boyfriend still stood, you flailed it around before turning your head to look at what had him so distracted. Assuming he was just beside you, lost in his phone, you were surprised to see him nowhere nearby.

"Wha... Binnie?" You called out, looking between the roaming window shoppers weaving through the streets with you. "He was just here..."

Turning around to the direction you'd previously come from, you started backtracking a short distance but were becoming even more confused when you still couldn't see where he had slipped off to.

You and Changbin had been dating officially for roughly 8 months by this point, and when he asked you if you’d like to take a long weekend’s getaway to do some shopping in one of Germany’s famous Christmas markets, you couldn’t contain your excitement.

Somewhere along the way, you must have laid it on pretty thick that your dream bucket list vacation would be to spend time in the cozy, quaint meandering streets of a European town during the holidays.  

You’d arrived only the day before and barely had time to settle in and get your bearings before wrapping both you and Changbin up tightly in your warm winter clothes to head out onto the snow-covered streets outside.

Unbeknownst to you however, Changbin had been prepared.  He’d set up a romantic dinner for the two of you in a tiny little restaurant with a table right by an old stone fireplace, and enough aromatic, warm gluhwein to keep the chill away from you both.  After you’d both stuffed yourself fully, he’d found a small ice rink littered with Christmas lights to take you skating.  

Everything had been so idyllic and perfect.  Until now.

Wrapping your scarf tighter around your neck to prevent the cold breeze from wafting down the back of your coat, you started to panic a little bit as it felt like the crowd had gotten thicker, and any sight of your boyfriend was made that much more difficult.

Cautiously, you turned around and began walking the way you were previously headed before getting separated, and started down the cobblestone streets to see if maybe he’d somehow gone ahead of you.

It didn’t take long this time, thank God, before you finally spotted him.  And in a place you definitely wouldn’t have expected.

Changbin’s back was to you as he faced the front display of the boutique store, mesmerized eyes glued in on the items just behind the glass.  

As you finally approached him, you laughed softly in relief.  “You scared me!  One second you were right next to me and then the next…” 

Your voice caught momentarily as you turned your eyes to the display in front of you, pausing as you saw what had him so transfixed.

Just behind the glass was a delicate red Christmas dress, complete with tulle and a bow, adorning a tiny mannequin.  The size of the clothing couldn’t have been for someone older than the age of 1.

“Bin…?”

Finally, Changbin sucked in a breath as he heard your voice and turned to face you with a cheeky smile.  Lifting his hand, he pointed towards the window again.  “Isn’t that so precious?”

Unsure of how to reply, you nodded your head once slowly with a chuckle.  “It is really cute.  I don’t think it will fit you though, Jagi.”

“No but… just think of the tiny human that it could fit.  Honestly, how can someone be small enough to actually wear it?”  His eyes were back on the dress in the window, and his voice was soft in wonder.

“Babies typically start pretty small, you know…”

“Yeah, yeah but,” he lifted his other hand which held a couple of shopping bags already and pressed it against the glass.  “Can you imagine having one?”

Without much time to think, you replied in a shocked, louder than intentional voice.  “What?  A baby?”

Hearing your reaction, he turned back to you with a small frown.  “Well, I didn’t mean right now, but… look how cute their stuff is!”

“I let you out of my sight for two seconds and now you’re planning a family?  Did you sneak off and get some hot buttered rum without me noticing?”

“Tell me you don’t think that that is adorable!”  Changbin said defiantly, pointing more directly at the dress before him.  “And that onesie with the reindeer on the butt?”  He said, trying to shift your eyes to the tiny green pajama set just beyond the window and a tiny bit further into the store.

“Ok the reindeer butt is pretty cute…”

Before you could hardly finish your sentence, Changbin squealed - yes, squealed - the moment his eyes landed on the small table of baby accessories near the pajamas.  His voice rose an entire octave as he squeaked out, “OH MY GOD THAT IS THE TEENIEST TINIEST HAIR BOW I’VE EVER SEEN!”

Almost as a man transfixed, Changbin left you again standing alone on the street as his new obsession had pulled him into the children’s boutique.  

“Wh… Binnie!”  You said, trailing behind him at a quickened pace, trying not to lose him again.  Once inside the store, he came to an abrupt halt in front of the accessories table, all glittered in its Christmas glory.

Nearly bumping into him from behind, you slowed down just as he dropped your shopping bags on the floor beside his feet, and picked up the dainty white snowflake bow headband.  “Jagi,” he said, almost in a whisper as he turned to you.  “...it’s so tiny…” he murmured, holding the headband up to his own skull, proving just how small the item was.

All you could do by this point was laugh.  “Seriously, what has gotten into you?  You’ve never said anything about having baby fever before…”

“...but I never saw anything this tiny before…” he replied, still in his hushed tone, eyes now focused again on the hair accessory in his hands.

“Binnie,” you began, slowly moving your hand to his palm to lift the headband away from him.  “Honestly, I am loving this side of you but maybe we should slow down on a collection of baby things until we’re ready to have one?”

Your voice was gentle, trying your best to be understanding, but Changbin finally met your eyes again and he sighed, recognizing he may be getting a little ahead of himself.  “Can’t we just get one?  It can stay on Dwaekki’s head until we have a real baby?”

Leaning forward, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, giggling softly at his suggestion.  “Dwaekki doesn’t need a headband, Binnie.  But I promise you when the time comes, you can pick out as many headbands as you want, yeah?”

Changbin’s lips curled into a small frown, pouting despite your kiss and pacification.  “Fine…” he reluctantly murmured.

“Why don’t you go to the stand just in the square there and get us a couple of hot chocolates?”

He sighed heavily, looking wistfully back down at the headband you’d placed back on the display table.  “Okay.  Peppermint?”  He asked, looking back at you before picking the shopping bags back up from the floor.

“Yes please,” you smiled softly, kissing his cheek once more.  “I’ll be right there, gonna pop into that paper store across the way,” you said, motioning to the shop just ahead as you ushered him back out of the store and onto the street.

Changbin, like the good boyfriend he was, headed off into the direction you’d pointed to dutifully get your hot beverages.  

Just when he was far enough out of sight, you ducked back into the children’s boutique and picked up the tiniest pair of Christmas socks you’d ever seen, white with small red dots decorating them and a soft, faux fur cuff around the edges.  The headband hadn’t done much for you, but these socks?  They were another story.

Less than two minutes later, you walked back towards the main square, tucking the newly acquired small paper bag into your purse, out of sight from anyone else including your boyfriend.

Someday you knew he’d love to discover both of those teeny, tiny surprises hidden inside.

DEC 01 │ Lee Minho │ holiday confessions │ @thegreenlynx DEC 02 │ Kwon Jiyong │ christmas morning │ @loveesiren DEC 03 │ Lee Felix │ first snow of the season │ @pineapple-burgah DEC 04 │ Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) │ under the mistletoe │ @makeitworse DEC 05 │ Lee Felix │ holiday baking │ @iconicallyher DEC 06 (A) │ Choi Soobin │ gift giving │ @overtheggum DEC 06 (B) │ Choi Seunghyun │ snowman making │ @moonqz DEC 07 │ Lee Felix, Han Jisung, Seo Changbin (poly) │ donating gifts │ @fenya-stays DEC 08 │ Bang Chan │ holiday stresses & fluff │ @bbokicidal DEC 09 │ Kim Seungmin │ fake boyfriend / first Christmas PART ONE & PART TWO │ @skzophreniic DEC 10 │ Hwang Hyunjin │ mistletoe & ice skating │ @emmiesoverthemoon DEC 11 (A) │ Lee Minho │ christmas confessions │ @aunty-tiger-potato DEC 11 (B) │ Kim Seungmin │ gingerbread house making │ @havennz DEC 12 │ Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin (poly) │ first holiday together & gift giving │ @chrizzztopherbang DEC 13 │ Kwon Jiyong │ holiday baking │ @jiyongsangel DEC 14 │ Choi Seunghyun │ christmas bar crawl & holiday party │ @wcnderlnds DEC 15 │Seo Changbin │ december birthday │ @ttturnitup DEC 16 │ Kim Seungmin │ ice skating & christmas festival │ @straya-kids DEC 17 │ Lee Minho │ under the mistletoe │ @bbokaricentral DEC 18 │ Kim Sunoo, Park Sunghoon (poly)│ winter's day coziness │ @toastmenace DEC 19 (A) │ OT8 SKZ (poly)│ advent calendar │ @ttturnitup DEC 19 (B) │ Hwang Hyunjin │ christmas kiss │ @baby-yongbok DEC 20 (A) │ Lee Minho │ secret santa │ @namgyooner DEC 20 (B) │ Bang Chan │ ugly sweater party │ @bangchans-girl DEC 21 │ Han Jisung │ matching pj’s & gingerbread houses │ @starlostjisung DEC 22 │ Bang Chan │ decorations │ @angel-writes-skz-here DEC 23 │ Kim Mingyu │ standing in for santa │ @makeitworse DEC 24 │ Bang Chan │ holiday vacation & snowy hot tub │ @blxksun DEC 25 │ Kwon Jiyong │ first christmas together & matching pj’s │ @ldydeath DEC 26 │ OT8 SKZ (poly)│ holiday vacation │ @sereia4skz DEC 27 │ Bang Chan │ unresolved resolutions │ @cb97percent DEC 28 │ Yang Jeongin │“baby, it’s cold outside” │ @breakmeoff DEC 29 (A) │ OT8 SKZ (poly) │ christmas train ride │ @redemptions DEC 29 (B) │ Joshua Hong │ snowed in │ @kiestrokes DEC 30 │ Han Jisung │ new year’s resolution │ @thegreenlynx DEC 31 (A) │ Lee Minho │ midnight kiss │ @hyunjincanraptoo DEC 31 (B) │ Hwang Hyunjin │ celebrating nye │ @straywrds

BONUS: special fics by @pixie-felix & @slut4kwon to be posted sometime throughout the month as well!

To join our Tag List, please comment on THIS post!

Except he missed his flight. A snowstorm delayed the first one, and by the time he landed, the connecting flight in Frankfurt was already gone. Then, when he finally managed to catch another flight, as if things couldn’t get worse, a baby one row ahead started crying nonstop— loudly. The mother looked exhausted, muttering apologies in german while the other passengers groaned and smiled politely.

Minho closed his eyes, counted to ten, trying not to lose control and of course he failed, “Enough”, he sighed, standing up and holding out his arms, “Agi jom juseyo”  (Please gimme the baby)

The woman blinked, startled,  “Was?! Wie bitte?!” (What? Excuse me?)

“Just…”, he gestured, rocking his arms and pointing to the kid, “Me. Baby”

She hesitated, clearly unsure, then— for some reason— handed him the crying baby. Within seconds, the baby calmed down, staring up at him with wide eyes

Minho looked down, in disbelief, “You just wanted someone grumpier than you, huh?”, he grumbled, settling back in his seat and finally putting on his headphones.

By the time the plane landed, he hd finished half a season of attack on titans and almost started to feel human again.

🤍🎆

Now it was 9 pm, December 31st in Rio de Janeiro. The weather was hot when Minho landed— tired, sweaty, and still wearing a turtleneck and a long puffer jacket, “No but why…”, he muttered to himself, dragging his luggage behind him, “is it thirty degrees at night?! It’s fucking December!”

Then came immigration— the line was endless and he didn’t understand a word of what anyone said. When it was finally his turn, an officer looked at him and said, “Boa noite, senhor. Passaporte, por favor”. (Good evening, sir. Passport, please). Minho only understood the word passport, handing over the document impatiently.

“Veio passar o fim de ano no Brasil?” (Are you here to spend New Year’s in Brazil?)

Minho just blinked, completely clueless. The officer tried again in English. Still nothing, then  “Español? Français?”

Minho groaned, “No. Korean”

The man looked at him like it was some kind of bad joke. So Minho pulled out his phone and opened papago, “I’m just here to see my girlfriend and watch the fireworks”, the app said in a robotic accent. The officer chuckled, stamped his passport, and he was finally free to go.

It was already 10 pm when he finally managed to get out of the airport. Outside, a wave of heat hit him like a punch in the stomach He took off his coat, shoved it in his suitcase, and prayed that the taxi’s air conditioning would be working. And as if fate was determined to test his patience that night, the traffic was awful. 

He tapped his foot, anxious, when at some point along the shoreline, he could see a crowd dressed in white— singing, dancing, drinking and laughing. He sighed, frustrated, he was supposed to be by your side already.

By 10:50 pm, he finally reached the hotel. He sprinted to your shared room, heart racing with the anticipation of seeing you only to find it empty— just your luggage, your things scattered around, a carefully folded outfit on the bed that matched yours, and a note written in your handwriting:

“Midnight in Copacabana 🤍”

He ran a hand through his hair, half laughing, half groaning, “What a fucking disaster”, he muttered under his breath.

With no time to lose, he grabbed the outfit— a light white linen shirt and white shorts, thank god, no more turtlenecks— showered and changed in record time.

It was already past 11:30 pm when he was jogging through the calçadão (boardwalk), phone in one hand, desperately trying to get internet, but there was nothing, zero bars.

He cursed softly, “Shit. Of course there’s no signal when I need it”

By the time he reached the beach, Minho already hated it— it was loud, people danced too close, and drank too much. The air was humid, salty, sticking to his skin like glue. Sand kept getting into his espadrilles until he finally snapped, kicking them off and leaving them behind. He took a deep breath, exhaling hard, and scanned the crowd.

And through thousands of faces— he found you. You were standing by the waterline, sandals dangling from your fingers, your white dress fluttering with the ocean breeze. You turned, your eyes finding his instantly, like you knew he would make it, even when he didn’t.

“Minho!”, you called out, smiling wide, and he almost forgot to breathe, “You made it!”

When he reached you, taking you into his arms, he muttered against your hair, “I told you I would”

You pulled back just a little to look at him up and down— he had sand clinging to his feet, sweat running down his neck ad temples, blond locks messy from the wind, a tired, jetlagged expression on his face, “Minho? Are you okay, my love?”, you asked softly.

He searched your eyes, then laughed, shaking his head, like he couldn’t even believe he was actually there, “You have no idea what I went through”

You laughed, tugging him closer to the shoreline, “You can tell me later. It’s about to hit midnight”

He opened his mouth to protest, but then the countdown began:

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five…

Minho turned to you, eyes glowing with mischief, “You’re supposed to kiss someone at midnight, right?”

…four, three…

You smiled and nodded, “That’s the tradition”

…two…

He leaned in, one hand cupping your cheek, the other finding the back of your neck, pulling you closer. And when it hit one, the lights exploded— fireworks sparkling across the sky, coloring the dark night over Copacabana beach.

His lips met yours as the sky bloomed, champagne popping, people celebrating around you. Something about the way his lips moved smoothly with yours made all the stress disappear— the delayed flight, the missed connection, the crying baby, the long line, the miscommunication, the heat, the traffic, the empty hotel room— none of it mattered. Because it all led to you and nothing mattered more than that.

When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, both of your breaths mingling, “Happy New Year, my love. I love you”, he whispered.

“Happy New Year, Minho. I love you too”

Then he took your hand and looked around— gold fireworks bursting open above the ocean, followed by pink, violet, and silver. The explosion of colors reflected in Minho’s eyes, who was stunned by such a beautiful view.

“Wow”, he said, lips slightly parted, “That’s… beautiful”

You smiled, watching him instead of the sky, “You like it?” 

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he just looked at you, like he was realizing he didn’t want to let go of you anytime soon. Then he smiled, spontaneous and honest, “Yeah,” he said, “I think I do”

The year was crazy— tours, schedules, time zones— but standing there on that crowded, noisy, sticky beach, Minho knew he had twelve more months ahead to face it all again, but he would do everything he could to make sure you were by his side this time.

He lifted your intertwined hands and kissed the back of yours, “I like being here with you”

You smiled, resting your head against his shoulder while you watched the fireworks together, “I like being here with you too”He chuckled, “Good. cause you won’t get rid of me anytime soon”, he said softly, eyes still on the sky, thumb brushing over your hand, “It’s a promise”

May 2026 bring us all a man (if you like and want a man, ofc) like minho from this fic 😭🙏🏻

Disclaimer: This is only fiction, I don't intend to offend or defame any artists I mention in my stories 😉 If you enjoyed it please consider liking and reblogging 😊 Lemme know if you want to be added to the taglist 💜

“This is insane,” you muttered to yourself, kneeling on the floor of your dusty attic.  “There’s no way this is going to work.”  And yet, you continued to situate the candles in the way the shaman explained.  

You had always prided yourself in being practical, level-headed, and methodical.  But when you got the phone call 8 days ago from the hospital that your father was on life-support, all of that flew out the window.  He would be conscious, happy, thriving had you been there to prevent the accident from happening.

Now, guilt ridden and desperate to keep him alive, you convinced yourself that extreme measures might be the only way after the doctors said there was nothing left that they could do.  Which is how you found yourself in the dark, seedy part of town, face to face with a shaman who was positive that he knew of a way to bring your father back to lucidity.  

But, there could be consequences.

Honestly, you’d blacked out as he explained the conditions, steps, and required circumstances for the summoning, but luckily he’d written everything down as he handed you the bag of necessary accoutrement.  

Now, minutes before the clock was to strike twelve, you placed the final item down beside the tall, dark, demonic looking black candle.  Your paternal grandmother’s black diamond vintage cocktail ring.  

You'd always loved the ring growing up - it was big and gaudy, and nothing you'd ever wear on a daily basis, but something about it was mesmerizing. The obsidian stone sparkled in the right lighting, and the intermittent flecks of silver gleaming never failed to catch your eye. It only seemed fitting that when she passed away, she bequeathed the ring to you and told you to keep good care of it.

Taking one more glance at the list, you mentally checked everything off:

- Black ceremonial candle to be lit precisely at Midnight - Empty space with no distractions - Incense - Sage bushel - No artificial lighting (candles or lanterns only) - Matches - Personal Artifact - Spiritual Incantation

Reaching for the book of matches, you pulled one out and struck it against the side of the box, the spark lighting instantaneously in a small flash of orange and red.  Bringing the small flame to the incense holder, you waited for it to catch and allow the smoke to begin to billow, wafting the earthy scents of wood, frankincense and patchouli through the small space.

Sitting back on your heels, you looked around the dimly lit area, sucking in a deep breath as the anxiety of your situation began to sink into your chest.  Just as you tried to settle your rapidly increasing heartbeat, your phone chirped with the time.  Midnight.  “Guess it’s now or never…”

With the matchbox still in hand, you lit one more match before you shakily reached forward towards the black candle in the center of the room.  Lowering the flame to the aged, worn wick, you waited with a tremor in your hand just before the candle ignited in a momentary bright flash, before dimming back down to a normal brightness.  Blowing out the flame on the matchstick, you stared at the lit candle, transfixed for a second before you remembered the final part of the summoning.  The incantation.

Allowing your eyes to flutter shut nervously, you took a deep breath before you began to quietly whisper the words ingrained in your mind from the shaman.  You could feel your heart thumping in your throat, conflicted with whether or not you hoped that this would work, or wouldn’t.  You didn’t believe in black magic.  It was preposterous.  There was no way it was real.

Even though your mind repeatedly told you this was nonsense, your lips and voice continued to say the right words, and just when you had convinced yourself that nothing was going to happen, a cold breath of air shivered down your spine, causing you to pause speaking momentarily.  

Your eyes shot open quickly, looking around the space which looked untouched, and remained the same.  After a moment, you shook off the previous sensation as coincidence and continued the last few lines of the incantation slowly, methodically.  And as the last few words rolled off of your tongue, all of the other lit candles in their lanterns around the room suddenly extinguished, except for the centered, black ceremonial candle.  

That remained the only light in the room, and unnaturally, the flame didn’t flicker.  It stayed still, ignited, as if everything in the room had frozen in one specific moment of time and all of the air had been sucked out.  You held your breath as you stared at the candle, true fear now spreading through your veins.  

And then, the final light in the room... vanished.

You sat there in pitch black silence for what seemed like an eternity, until the next thing you heard was the cracking of fingers snapping, and all of the candles in the room, including the center one, reignited in a flash of light.

The only difference in the room now was the shadowed figure standing just on the other side of the black candle whose flame was once again flickering gently with whatever air was circulating in the room.  

Petrified, you tried to remind yourself to breathe as your eyes first fell on the sleek black leather boots a few feet away from you.  Slowly, you lifted your gaze, taking in the perfectly tailored black pants, up to the crisp white button up shirt beneath the deep, blood red, crushed velvet coat that the figure was effortlessly donning.  

Finally, you took in the porcelain tinted skin of his collarbones, neck, perfectly sculpted jawline and cheekbones before settling on his dark, alluring eyes, glinting with a deceptive cockiness as he looked down to you below him.

“Holy shit,” you whispered instinctively, having a hard time believing that any of this was real.  It couldn’t be.

The figure before you chuckled deep into his chest, shifting his stance.  “Quite the welcome.”

“I…” stumbling over your words, you just blinked up at him before something stirred in you, telling you to scoot yourself backwards, and that this dark figure was standing too close for comfort.  “...w-who are you?”

“My dear,” he began, grinning down at you with a sneer.  “You summoned me, shouldn’t I be inquiring as to who you are?”

“You aren’t real, you can’t be real.”  Scooting back even a little bit further on your knees, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.  Who, or whatever, he was, was beautiful.  Terrifyingly so.

“Hm, shall I just go then?”  The figure mockingly looked around the room, raising his hand like he could easily snap his fingers and disappear once again.

“No!  Please.  Wait.”  Your desperation was sinking back in, and you tried to gain the strength to address the reason all of this was happening to begin with.   The shadowy man simply raised his eyebrow at you expectantly.

Clumsily, you got to your feet, wiping any dust from your knees as you kept your eyes glued on him.  “Are,” your voice caught in your throat annoyingly, and with determination, you cleared it before speaking again more clearly.  “Are you really a dokkaebi…?”

Your guest smirked wickedly, deciding to toy with you just a little bit longer.  “Do you think I’m a dokkaebi?”

Before speaking, you looked him up and down again.  You’d grown up with the lore of the spiritual tricksters, but in every story you’d ever heard had the dokkaebi were described as evil looking goblins with horns, gnarled teeth and horrible skin.  In some versions of the folklore however, they were said to manifest in almost any imaginable form, living or inanimate.  The only thing that gave away what he truly was was the mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

Without verbalizing your answer, you nervously nodded your head in response to his inquiry.

“Pretty and smart, aren’t I the lucky one?”  He teased, shifting to move both of his hands into the pockets of his pants.  “Pray tell, why did I get summoned here this evening, hmm?”

Your voice cracked as you tried to get the words out, still processing the reality of your situation.  “I… I need a favor.”

“Of course you do,” he nodded, shrugging his shoulders derisively as if to insinuate why the hell would I be here otherwise?  “...go on.”

“My father is dying,” you began, to which he quickly replied “Pity.”

His disinterest was startling, causing you to momentarily break your concentration.  You knew these spirits were troublesome, but the cockiness was unexpected.

You continued.  “...he’s dying and it’s my fault.  I could’ve stopped it.  And I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to keep him alive.”

Finally, he was silent.  Typically cold and devoid of empathy, something about the sincerity in your voice caused him to take pause.  His dark eyes studied your features, weighing his options as it wasn’t often that he was summoned by those who didn’t believe in him.  It was refreshing, honestly.  Almost… humanizing.

Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he clasped them behind his back thoughtfully as he began to slowly walk around the space.  Tilting his head, he watched you carefully, taking note of the way you moved and breathed, all the while he circled around you.

“Quite the predicament you’re in.”  He mused, pausing beside you.  Lifting one hand, he reached forward, extending one long, slender finger to toy with your hair.  He leaned in closer, almost as if he was encroaching to inhale your scent.  Lingering there for a moment longer, his dark eyes studied you holding your inhalation, sensing your apprehension.

Finally, he took a few steps back before striding gracefully, coming to stand before you once again.  

“So your favor… you’d like me to spare your father’s life?”  He asked, waiting for your confirmation.  

“Yes,” you breathed.

“I’ll grant your request.  But you must know that there’s a catch.  A quid pro quo, if you will.”

With your eyes glued on his face, you flexed the fingers on both of your hands, trying to loosen some of the tension that was gripping through your bones.  “I understand.”

“In exchange,” he purred, inching closer towards you, languidly like a panther stalking its prey.  “...flesh for flesh.”

Attempting to hold his gaze, you were forced to slightly tilt your head back as he came to stand before you.  “...what?”

Leaning in close enough that his breath began mingling with yours, you froze in place, his proximity causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand up straight.  “I want one night with you,” he began, raising one of his hands to the side of your face, his fingertips ghosting over the curve of your jaw suggestively.  

“One night to remember the pleasures of the human flesh…” he murmured, the tips of his index and middle finger hovering over your lower lip, a look of hunger in his eyes.

Snapping his gaze back to your eyes, he didn’t move to take any further advances until an agreement was made.  “One night.  And I will fulfill my end of the bargain at dawn.”

You heard his words, his demands, but something in the way he moved and spoke felt tempting.  A small voice in the back of your head was telling you to stop, to leave, to run far away, but the allure of his presence and the silky smooth lilt in his voice was magnetic. 

You couldn’t wrap your mind around anything logical, and soon the undeniable pull he had on you became all consuming.  It barely registered in your brain before you exhaled a shaky “yes.”

The sound that followed was a short, dark chuckle. Finally, he shifted his fingers hovering over your mouth to the side of your neck, and leaned in closer, whispering in a low timbre. "Oh, I think I'll have fun with you."

His lips brushed yours only for a brief moment, almost as if testing the waters, but enough for you to taste the subtle flavor of smoke, ash and overly ripened fruit. Normally what would be a saccharine, lingeringly sour essence was pleasant but strange.

There was something addicting about him, almost disturbingly so.  This transactional interaction was starting to feel like anything but that, his ethereal and surreal presence becoming calming and intoxicating.  You were surprised to feel yourself give in so easily as he moved in to kiss you again more hungrily, an inexplainable pull exuding from him.

Breaking away from your lips briefly, he snapped his fingers once, crisply.  Wordlessly, he turned behind you and sank down onto the pile of blankets and pillows that he appeared amongst the candles and ethereal looking space.  As he sat, he leaned back against one of his hands before lifting the other towards you in silent invitation to join him.  Hesitantly, you took his hand and let him guide you down to the blankets beside him.

Laying back against the cushions below, you looked up to the man besides you, who was shifting to hover above you.  The moment caught you by surprise, not prepared for the way he looked at you.  Gingerly, he lifted his hand and traced your cheek with a finger, watching you almost reverently.  Before he could stop himself, he whispered almost inaudibly.  “Flawless.”

As he took his time admiring you, gently brushing the softness of your skin with his fingertips, you were caught in his eyes. Initially, you thought them to be almost void of color, just dark like everything else about him.  But within this close proximity, you could discern the different shades of brown.  Like the rich bark of an old mahogany tree and smooth whiskey.  With a few speckles of the most brilliant cerulean blue.

Lowering himself down, he brought his surprisingly warm lips to melt against yours once more, the softness of them a welcome feeling.  The tip of his tongue swiped across your lower tier gently, coaxing its way between your lips to further taste you once again.  He groaned lowly, the sensation of human touch only previously having been a distant memory.  

Moving his frame to fully hover above your own, he started at your jawline, beginning to litter a series of delicate kisses down your throat and collarbones.  There was nothing hasty about his actions, obviously intending to take his time with you and savor every moment.  

Your thoughts were so conflicted, acknowledging the transactional reality of your situation, but every touch he laid upon you was precise, intentional and almost worshipful.  His lithe fingertips came to the side of your waist, inching just below the hemline of your shirt before he pushed it up and over your chest, and inevitably fully off of your body.  

His hooded gaze fell to your soft skin, caressing every available bit of flesh exposed to him, relishing the sensations long forgotten to him.  Feeling the weight of his concentration on you, your eyes shifted to the worn rafter in the roof of the attic above you, trying to focus on something other than your current reality.  

Though, as his fingertips dipped into the delicate lace edge of your bra, you inhaled sharply feeling the cold bit of drafty air on your now exposed breasts.  With the desperation of a man back from a year at sea, he dipped his head down to your chest and allowed the tip of his tongue to swirl around your pert nipple before sucking the peaked bud in between his lips. It was impossible to tell whose sound was whose as both of you keened in sync with one another.

Shifting his mouth to your other breast, he took his time, kissing and suckling at every bit of you he could.  Soon after, he shifted to the center of your chest, placing a series of kisses down your sternum, stomach and eventually both of your hips.  Purposefully, he gripped onto the sides of your pants and panties, slowly tugging them both down simultaneously.  Pulling them off of you fully, he tossed your clothes in a pile on the side, and shifted his weight to settle between your legs. 

With you now fully exposed to him, he sighed a breath of adoration taking in the very intimate view of you.  Bringing a hand to your face, you draped your arm across your eyes in embarrassment, almost having an out of body experience with the figure now almost on top of you.

“Darling, don’t hide,” he murmured in a low voice, his breath feeling like a warm burst of air across your sensitive skin.  “Let me enjoy this… it may have been a few hundred years since I’ve last touched a woman but I believe I can still make this a pleasurable experience for you.”

Removing your arm from your face, you inhaled deeply once more and cast your eyes down the front of your body and between your legs, finding the strikingly handsome creature looking up at you with a look of pure carnal hunger in his eyes.  “Mm…” he purred approvingly, “now that’s a good girl.”  

Without another moment’s pause, he extended his long tongue and licked a thick stripe up the entire length of your folds, his eyes locked in on yours as your lips parted in a silent gasp.   Languidly, he shifted the tip of his tongue to your clit, licking the sensitive bundle of nerves teasingly, doing his best to watch how your body reacted.  

A quiet, closed lipped moan slipped from you, and it only further encouraged his experimental touches.  Bringing his dominant hand up towards his mouth, he slid his index and middle finger up the expanse of your folds, spreading the sensitive lower lips apart in order to give his mouth better, more direct, access to your clit.

Tilting your head back, you involuntarily arched your back slightly with his ministrations and you sucked in a gasp.  Hearing your reactions, he chuckled darkly against your wet skin, leaving another teasing kiss to your clit.  “Looks like I haven’t fully lost my touch.”

His long fingers soon inched their way down to your entrance, touching gently at the outermost portion of your velvety walls before they dipped inside your cunt.  As you shifted with the new intrusion, he let his lips find your clit once again, and while he suckled lewdly, he slid his digits further into your tightness before curling inside you, putting slight pressure against your inner most sensitive spot.

“Oh my God,” you cried, squinting your eyes shut at the overwhelming sensations he was providing.  Another deep laugh rumbled from him, causing a new vibration against your skin and another moan from you.  “I’m the furthest thing from God here, Darling.”

The creature kept his focus on you, doing his best to draw out every last inch of pleasure he could wring out of your body.  Everything he did was all consuming and overwhelming in the most incredible way imaginable.  Speeding up his motions and increasing more pressure where necessary, he pulled your climax from you with practiced ease.

The guttural cry that spilled from your lips was animalistic, more feral than anything you’d ever made before.  Your pussy clenched around his fingers and your body twitched, riding through every wave of pleasure he could wrench from you until he was fully satisfied.  Verging on the edge of overstimulation, you finally pushed your hand against the top of his head and pleadingly begged him to stop.

He leaned back and looked up at you smugly with a wicked smile of pride across his features.  “Beautiful.  Better than I remembered.”  Gently, he withdrew his fingers from within you and you gasped at the feeling of emptiness, watching him bring those same digits to his mouth and lick them clean.  Something should have felt wrong, watching the sinful creature perform such a sinful act, though every last second felt so right.

Slowly he began climbing his way back up your body, pressing more open mouthed, wet kisses to your skin all the way up until he captured your lips once more.  No longer feeling reserved, you reached to the buttons on his shirt and quickly began undoing them, desperate to feel his heated skin against yours.  Hastily, you pulled the fabric from the waist of his pants enough to push the dress shirt down over his broad shoulders, and onto the floor, fully exposing his taut and toned body above yours.

You couldn’t help the desperate look of hunger on your face as you ogled his otherworldly form, only causing another smirk from him, knowing full well you were enjoying the view.  Leaning back on his knees, he took it upon himself to unfasten his belt and pants, and pushed everything on his lower half off of his perfectly sculpted body.

Again, you couldn’t help but stare.  You knew he wasn’t fully human, though his anatomy was screaming otherwise.  Now fully exposed to you, you dropped one of your hands down the center of his chest, trailing fingertips down until you met the thick, warm base of his cock.  He was heavy in your palm, but the velveteen texture of his shaft was addicting.  

Wrapping your hand along his length, you pumped his cock a few times, achingly slow, causing a wicked noise to rumble through his chest again.  “Mm... careful darling, you don’t know what you’re starting.”  Shifting your eyes to meet his, you kept your hand loosely stroking him, silently urging him to show you.

Wrapping his strong forearms around your thighs, he pulled you down closer to him before he gripped the base of his cock, causing you to let go.  Almost punishingly, he smacked the head of his thick length against your clit, inciting a gasp of surprise from you.  With a satisfied grin, he shifted his position to press the tip of his cock against your warm, soaked entrance.  

Leaning forward, he braced himself on both of his palms, bracketing your head as he hovered above you, and paused just the briefest of moments before he shifted his hips and pushed inside of your warmth.  “Fuck…” you inhaled a gasp, spreading your legs wider to accommodate his girthy length, eyes focused down on the joining of your bodies.

He, on the other hand, knit his brows in concentration and focus, allowing himself to painfully slowly push himself further inside your tight cunt.  He needed to savor this, to imprint it in his mind.  There had been times he’d dreamed about being with a woman again, to feel that desperation of closeness, but his imagination could never do this justice.

Finally fully seated within you, he dropped his jaw and exhaled the most animalistic moan, nearly powerful enough to shake the walls of the attic.  You both could feel your inner walls pulsing around him, throbbing around his cock, your heartbeat nearly seeping into his skin in the most intimate way possible.  

He couldn’t move… didn’t want to move.  The feeling of being fully sheathed inside was incomparable and he felt so consumed by it all that if he ceased to exist in that moment alone he would be satisfied.  But slowly, reluctantly, after dropping his forehead to your collarbone, he shifted his hips back and pulled out of your pulsing cunt steadily.

Slipping one of your arms around his shoulders, you gripped his bicep with your other hand, fingernails digging into the tensing muscles below as he slammed his hips back against you, a wet slap echoing in the darkened room.  “More, please… I need more…” you breathed, eyebrows pinched together.

Lifting his head, he looked down to your eyes hungrily and roughly pushed his lips against yours, kissing you fiercely in a mess of teeth and tongue, allowing the pace of his thrusts to dictate when and how deeply you both exhaled.  

His speed quickly became erratic, overwhelmed by the sensations he’d long forgotten and craved so desperately.  Shifting his weight, he moved one of his hands between your bodies to find your clit, still puffy and sensitive from your first orgasm.  His fingertips were relentless, rubbing tight circles against your tender nerves, silently determined to pull another orgasm from you.  

You cried out, tears lining your lashes, nails digging into his arm so sharply enough to break the skin.  Attempting to plead with him to take it easy on you, you couldn’t form the words and were forced to just take everything he gave you.  Your legs soon tensed around him, your entire body clenching with your impending release, and you parted your lips, muffled noises and inaudible words tumbled out against his lips as you were helpless to cum around his cock violently.

Continuing to fuck himself into you at a relentless pace through your entire orgasm, he finally pulled his fingers away from your sensitive flesh and reestablish his position, supporting himself with hands on either side of your head.  

He dropped his head momentarily to drag his tongue lewdly across the expanse of your sweaty neck, causing your skin to erupt in goosebumps beneath him.  Everything was too much, and not enough.  

Breathing against the crook of your neck, he snapped his hips against yours once more and paused, the entirety of his length buried inside you once again.  “Those were for you… and now, this last one… this last one is for me.”  

Bracing yourself for anything, you held your breath in anticipation but were surprised to find his movements switch from feral to… reverent.  Almost as quickly as a lightswitch flipping, his breath soon regulated and his heartbeat slowed down.  Tilting his head to your chest, he pressed his lips against your chest just above your heart, and silently coaxed your own heartbeat to abate.

Everything else that came after was intimate, savoring, and tender.  His lips melted against any part of your skin he could reach, and he slowly rocked his hips, his cock gliding effortlessly through your slick at the unhurried pace of his choosing.  You weren’t sure if you had been tangled together for 30 seconds or 30 minutes, but it didn’t matter.  

Once again, finding himself buried to the hilt within your still twitching, velveteen walls, his lips were molded against the sensitive flesh of your skin of your neck just beneath your ear.  “...if I perished from this realm right now, right here…” His voice was so soft, and the tone he whispered it in spoke volumes, enough his unfinished sentence didn’t need to be completed.

And with barely any further movement from either of you, his eyebrows furrowed and he tensed, moaning deeply before he fully stilled within you and came, white, hot ropes covering every inch inside of you, marking you in the most avarice way possible.

After that… things went hazy.  You were wrapped in his embrace, his skin feeling so perfectly warm against yours.  In a way, it felt like he was meant to be there.  Meant to be claiming you.  The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the overwhelming sensation of comfort and adoration that you hadn’t experienced before and never thought was possible.  It was, for a lack of better word, otherworldly. 

The next morning, you awoke to the sound of your phone chiming.  Your bones felt heavy and stiff, and when you turned onto your side to reach for your phone, you winced as the memories of the night before flooded your mind.  Shifting yourself up onto propped elbows, you were surprised to find yourself still in the attic, and in the mess of blankets and pillows that had magically appeared beneath you.

Most of the remnants of your ritual were still there - all of the lanterns, incense, sage, etc.  Even your ring, thankfully, was still there.  The one item that was missing however, was the black candle from the shaman.  

Had any of that actually… happened?  Had you just imagined the entire thing?  

A million thoughts ran through your mind, but as your phone chimed once again, you snapped back to reality and picked up your cell.  Noting the missed call and new voicemail, you immediately hit the play button to let the recording play back.

“Good Morning Ms L/N.  This is one of the nurses at the ASAN Medical Center, and we have good news.  Your father woke up a few hours ago, and was finally able to ask for you.  Please either call us back at your earliest convenience or come to the hospital as soon as you can.  It looks like your father may make a miraculous recovery after all.”

An incredulous laugh caught in your throat as you put the phone down, and a tear slipped out of the corner of your eye.  Pushing yourself up off of the ground, you stood to make a run for the door and to your father’s bedside, but a small refraction of light caught your gaze.

Glancing down to the ring still on the floor, you bent down to pick it up, sucking in a breath as you genuinely couldn’t believe the ritual had worked.  Slipping the ring onto your right hand, you examined the stone in the slivers of morning light peaking through the attic windows, but this time, something made your breath hitch.

Walking closer to one of the windows to get better light, you tilted the ring towards the sun and you couldn’t believe what you saw.  The stone, once a sea of the deepest black, now almost looked like a shade of brown.  

Like the rich bark of an old mahogany tree and smooth whiskey.  

With a speckle of… cerulean.

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The wind howls against the heavy timber walls of the cabin, a low, mournful sound that only makes the inside feel ten times warmer. Outside, the world is a white-out; the driveway has long since disappeared under feet of fresh powder, and the pines are bowing under the weight of the blizzard. You’re officially snowed in with eight very needy, very excited hybrids. The cabin smells like cedar, roasting meat, and the overwhelming, heady mix of eight different scents that have effectively filled every inch of the space.

Dinner is a chaotic affair that takes nearly an hour just to get settled. Minho and Felix have spent the last four hours defending the kitchen from Han and Changbin, who kept trying to taste test. The kitchen island is still covered in flour from the morning's baking, and the table is a rustic spread of honey-glazed ham, enough side dishes to make Minho nod in approval, and the slightly tragic-looking mess of gingerbread houses from a couple days prior, now serving as an edible centerpiece.

“If anyone touches the rolls before I put the butter on them, I’m biting,” Minho warns, his tail giving a sharp, rhythmic flick against the back of his chair. He glares pointedly at Han, whose hand is already hovering inches from a golden-brown crust.

“No biting!” you scold.

You sit at the head of the long wooden table, flanked by Chan and Felix. Chan keeps a possessive hand on your thigh under the table, his thumb tracing slow circles through the fabric of your pajamas, grounding you amidst the noise. To your other side, Felix is practically vibrating, his kitten ears perked as he describes every single ingredient he put into the stuffing, to an uncaring Seungmin. Sat across from you, eyeing the centerpiece.

The room is filled with the clinking of silverware and the low, contented purrs and huffs of eight hungry hybrids. After the initial frenzy of eating settles into a comfortable lull, Chan clears his throat. He raises his glass of cider, the amber liquid reflecting the warm candlelight.

“I know the storm is bad out there,” Chan says, his voice dropping into that deep, melodic tone that always makes the pack go quiet. His golden eyes lock onto yours, filled with a raw, protective heat. “But to be honest, I think I prefer it. It's exactly what we needed.”

He leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your temple before finishing. “To a very long, very snowy Christmas with our favorite person.”

“You’re cringe Hyung!” Seungmin says, faking a gag, raising his glass so that cider sloshes onto the tablecloth. The rest of the boys join in, a chorus echoing through the timber rafters.

⋆｡°✩

After dinner, the pack migrates to the rug in front of the massive stone fireplace. The fire is roaring, casting long, dancing shadows across the piles of presents.

Changbin dives into the pile, his bunny ears twitching with high-velocity excitement. He destroys the paper, leaving a trail of shredded red and green in his wake. He finds the box you got him, a weighted vest for his workouts and new headphones, and he immediately tackles you into the cushions, nuzzling your neck with frantic, happy huffs. 

Hyunjin receives a set of high-end charcoal pencils and new paints. Seungmin gets a baseball jersey, which he pretends to be "okay" with, even though his tail is thumping so hard against the floor it sounds like a drumbeat. Jeongin gets so many new clothes, which makes Minho immediately sigh at the prospect of the overfilled closet. Minho gets new sets of earrings for his healing piercings. Chan finds a heavy, custom-engraved leather jacket in his pile. Felix unwraps his new games, purring so loudly the sound vibrates through the floorboards. And Han is quick to show off his new guitar accessories. 

⋆｡°✩

The fire burns down to glowing embers, the blizzard is still raging outside, but inside, the energy shifts from chaotic to heavy and honeyed. The air is thick with the scent of pine, woodsmoke, and your eight boys.

Chan pulls you back against his chest, his large arms wrapping around your waist “You look so pretty in the firelight,” he rumbles, his voice a low, wolfish vibration against your ear.

“Hyung, please,” Seungmin’s voice cuts through the romantic tension from across the nest, sounding utterly exhausted. “That was so corny it actually hurt my ears.”

“He definitely practiced that in the bathroom mirror earlier,” Jeongin chirps, his tail flicking as he suppresses a giggle.

Chan huffs, his chest vibrating against your back as he ignores them, turning you in his arms to find your mouth in a slow, deep kiss that tastes like cider and sweetness. It's a grounding, possessive kiss that claims you for the night.

Jeongin lets out an indignant whine at the older still putting the moves on you, pawing at you both for attention until he can wedge his way closer to your side. Minho crawls over anyway, his cat ears alert, and begins to pepper your neck with sharp, nipping bites, his hands sliding under the hem of your pajama top to find the warmth of your skin.

On either side of you, Han and Hyunjin share your hands, but their focus increasingly drifts toward one another. Between kisses on your knuckles and palms, they lean across your lap to share their own soft kisses. Han nuzzles his cheek against Hyunjin's shoulder, leaving a faint smear of charcoal from the ferret’s skin on his own, while Hyunjin uses his dark-dusted fingers to tilt Han’s chin toward him for a lingering, private moment.

Felix looks up from your lap, his eyes dark and dilated with affection. He reaches out a hand to grab Jeongin’s ankle, tugging the fox hybrid closer until their foreheads touch. Felix's focus shifts to the younger, his purr intensifying as he shares a nuzzle with Jeongin before pressing their lips together.

Changbin and Seungmin pile in next, pressing their warmth against your sides, turning the rug into a fortress of soft flannel. Changbin buries his face in the crook of Seungmin’s neck, his bunny ears flopping over his shoulder, and Seungmin finally drops the act of indifference, whining softly until you reach out to ruffle his hair.

“I think I’m exactly where I want to be,” you murmur.

Morning arrives not with the muffled blue light of the snow-covered windows. No one moves to leave. The kitchen is a world away, for now, the nest is the entire universe.

Minho had the foresight to bring a tray of late-night snacks and a thermos of cocoa into the nest's perimeter earlier, so you don't even have to get up for breakfast. You spend the morning tangled in limbs, watching the snow continue to pile up against the glass. Han and Felix take turns feeding you bits of leftover holiday treats, while Chan, Seungmin and Jeongin have started a low-stakes card game on a flattened area of the blankets, their tails occasionally thwacking against your legs as they play, and Seungmin attempts to cheat.

Hyunjin is back at it, leaning against your shoulder with his sketchbook, capturing the sleepy, soft expressions of the pack in the morning light. Changbin is content to just be a heavy, warm weight at your side, his bunny ears twitching every time you laugh at one of Jeongin’s jokes.

The blizzard is freezing the world outside, burying the cabin in white, but you’ve never been warmer. Yea this will be a great winter break.

“I uh, actually just need to call a tow truck. My phone died and I slid off the road into a bank.”

“The coffee will warm you up, I have decaf if you prefer.”

The man taps his boots to clear off any residual snow and approaches the bar, “caffeinated is fine.”

You pour him a mug and set it on the counter, “cream, sugar and the top three flavors of the season.”

With a tap to the condiment carousel you turn away to place the pot back on its warmer.

“Hot Frosty?”

“Peppermint mocha, a local fave.”

“Mmm, I am Joshua by the way,” He reaches an ungloved hand across the counter to you, which you accept with a firm shake.

“So Joshua, the tow company isn’t open twenty-four hours like us. You will have to wait until morning.”

Joshua’s eyes roll with irritation and he quickly schools his face, “I am not upset with you just the-”

“Situation,” you nod in understanding.

“Yea,” he breathes with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Why don’t you leave your jacket over by the fireplace and you can cozy up on the loveseat,” you duck below the counter and retrieve your coworkers' napping blanket.

Joshua quirks an eyebrow at you, and you raise yours at his in a challenge.

“There is a charging bank on the table beside the loveseat. Take a nap, I will wake you before my shift is up and get you the number to the tow company.”

Joshua heeds all of your advice, setting his coat and boots by the fireplace and padding across the rug in wool socks to the loveseat that faced it. Tucking himself under the sky blue blanket and letting his eyes skim the shop.

The coziness of the establishment brought ease to his mind as he took in the comforting shades of the brick walls. The warm glow of the lighting, opposed to the harsh fluorescents he was accustomed to at his office. Accompanied by the bright pops of green from the plants scattered and tucked into every crevice of the store, breathing life in the middle of winter.

His eyes finally come to rest on you, leaning against the far end of the bar, paging through your book.

“Why is the coffee shop open twenty-four hours but not the tow company?”

Your eyes jump to his, lips parting when the tinkling of the door steals both of your attentions.

A stereotypical looking truck driver walks in and calls out what Joshua assumes is your name. He watches as you tend to the older man with familiarity, jesting at one another before he passes you a thick roll of cash. Which you attempt to return but the man is already headed out the door, wishing you a happy holiday.

“Because we are on the trucking route in and out of the big city, it's very profitable this time of night.”

You pick up your interrupted conversation, waving the large tip playfully at Joshua who apologizes for his lack of tip and payment.

But you brush him off, “We don’t overtax the hardships here.”

Joshua hums, his eyelids drooping with sleep.

“Get some rest, I will make sure nobody bothers you.”

05:00

Your morning shift arrives around 5am, motioning to the man sprawled over the loveseat. His socked foot kicked up over the back, lips parted slightly.

“Needs a tow,” you whisper as they slip behind the bar.

“Mingyu told the last person he towed he isn’t hauling anything in until noon so that the sun will warm the roads a bit.”

“Shit.”

“He can stay on the loveseat, but the morning rush is definitely going to wake him.”

You purse your lips in thought as you shrug on your coat. Decision made, you wander over to collect Joshua’s boots and coat before waking him.

“Hi-” Your face warms as his lips curl into a gentle smile at you.

“Tow truck?” Joshua asks, grunting into a sitting position.

“So about that…”

You inform him of your recent discovery and offer up your plan.

05:30

“Should you be taking a stranger home?”

Joshua casts a sidelong glance at you as your boots synchronize crunches in the snow.

“Nothing bad ever happens in the town of Darling-” you smile at him as you wind your scarf tighter around your neck, “-plus my roommate has biceps so big they could pop your head like a cherry.”

“Mmm, sign me up,” Joshua wags his eyebrows at you flirtatiously.

You let out a visible puff of both, startled and amused air into the cold.

The rest of the walk to your house is serendipitous silence, peppered with questions that Joshua asks about Darling; if there is crime or murder, does he need to worry about thieves stealing parts of his car.

You amusedly inform him that the most criminal action Darling has ever seen, raising your hands to make air quotes with gloved covered fingers- is the local weed dealer Jeonghan.

“But Hannie always tips the most and is kind to everyone.”

“Hannie, huh?”

Joshua looks at you with an unspoken question trapped behind his curious eyes, that you choose to ignore.

The rest of your trek is quiet as the snowflakes begin to freeze both of your cheeks and tips of your noses.

06:00

“Cheollie, this is Joshua-”

You gesture to the man beside you.

“Hong,” Joshua finishes reaching a hand towards your cousin as he stands.

“Bringing home strays again cousin?”

Seungcheol quips, firmly grasping Joshua's hand.

“Good grip, do you deadlift?” Joshua asks with earnest curiosity, eyes scanning Seungcheol's biceps.

“Yea, I just finished upper body for today. Have a post glow pump goi-” Seungcheol flexes his forearm in a typical carved stone roman pose.

“Ahem, anyway he crashed his car, your bootycall isn't towing until noon. Are you good if he crashes on the pullout?”

Your cousin's ears tint rose instantly, “he's not my boo- that's fine, I will grab some spare pillows.”

You turn to Joshua after placing your coat and bag on the rack, helping him out of his coat before toeing off your boots and gesturing for him to do the same.

“Put them next to mine on the drip tray,” you pad towards the sunroom door, “Oh I have a dog by the way. Are you allergic or scared?”

“No and no,” Joshua strides up next to you, eyes warm.

You can't help but laugh at his cuteness.

“What?”

“You look just like her right now.”

“Your dog?”

In answer you open the door to reveal a wiggling red irish setter, goose plushy in her mouth.

“This is Ruby.”

“Oh my goodness” Joshua meets your dog, dropping smoothly to his knees and cupping her fluffy neck.

“Don’t steal my dog, I am going to make up the couch for you.”

Joshua looks up from cooing at Ruby, “I am your stray now too.”

You roll your eyes at him playfully.

06:30

Once the couch is fluffed into a comfortable bed for your guest. You wander into the kitchen to make a bowl of instant ramen, waiting for Joshua to finish up in the shower so you can take a turn.

You're leaning against the counter, chopsticks midway to your mouth when he wanders out in borrowed gray sweats and matching hooded pullover. Toweling away at his damp hair when his eyes lift to yours.

“Oh ramen, could I steal a bite?”

You manage to close your mouth and avert your gaze without causing suspicion at the eye full you had just caught.

“You can have the rest, I am going to shower and power nap before my next shift.”

Joshua sets the towel next to your abandoned bowl, dripping his head to scoop a bite into his mouth with a pleased moan.

“You have to work another shift?”

You're almost to the hallway when he calls out to you.

“Yep! Second to last one before the new year and then I am here to watch you like a hawk, Hung.” You make an I'm watching you motion with your fingers before realizing your mistake, “I-I mean Hong!”

You escape without looking back after hearing his bubbling laughter.

12:00

You sneak out a couple hours later for your shift without disturbing the sleeping guest.

The same guest that had stolen your cuddle buddy.

Ruby was softly snoring in his arms with an outline of her toys surrounding his body.

19:30

When you arrive home from your evening shift, you’re surprised to find Joshua not only there but working out with your cousin.

“Hey!” Joshua greets you just as warmly as Ruby does, his bright eyes locking onto you as the Irish setter bounds over to you.

You give Ruby a pet and place a kiss to the top of her silky head before you shed your outside clothing as Joshua launches into an update.

“So we got the car towed in, but Jihoon said that there is an issue with the part-”

“That it won’t be in for two weeks due to the storms and holidays,” Seungcheol chimes in.

“There still aren't any available rental cars or hotels in a fifty mile radius, which I think is a little insane. But Seungcheol said it would be okay if I stayed until the car was fixed. That I can use your Wi-Fi here or at the cafe to do my work since I have my laptop.”

Seungcheol nods eagerly from his perch behind the weight bar where he had previously been spotting your new couch surfer.

Joshua prattles on, given your furrowed brow and silence, “and I am more than willing to pay the rate of a normal hotel fee, plus anything else you deem necessary.”

At this point you shake your head in mild confusion, shushing him and Seungcheol.

“Have you had those the entire time?” You point at his exposed biceps, now on display in a tank top.

Seungcheol bursts into laughter as Ruby looks eagerly from the three of you with her toy lamb whipping with each turn of her head.

Joshua looks at his arms as if he is also confused, before looking up at you under his lashes with an arched grin, playing bashful by flexing his arm behind his head.

“Yea, muscle mass helps with brain and cognitive function.”

“Cool. I am going to make dinner now.”

You greet Ruby with a deep hug, burying your nose in the silky strands of her ginger coat and taking a centering inhale.

“Do you want chicken or beef today?”

Ruby licks cheek in response.

“Beef it is.” You kiss her cheek in return before climbing to your feet and pulling all needed items for everyone's dinner from the fridge.

You are placing Ruby’s bowl on the stand for her when Joshua joins the two of you in the kitchen, his disarming muscles cloaked yet again in Seuncheol’s borrowed sweatshirt.

“Can I help with dinner?”

“Mm, if you want. Are you safe in the kitchen?”

Joshua laughs at your scrutinizing stare, “I won’t burn anything if that's what you’re worried about.”

“Good! Aprons are in the tall cabinet.”

You fall into sync beside each other, preparing dinner for the three of you. Effortlessly, as if you were atoms that had been sparked to life near one another and were coming back to each other centuries later. It flusters you in a way, the domestic chemistry of it accompanied by how easily he touches you.

“Oh! Watch out,” Joshua says, behind you suddenly.

The heat of his body fanning across your back, intentional fingers pulling your sleeves up your forearms and out of splatter distance.

“Thanks,” you mumble as the blunt tips of his nails brush your bare skin in their exit.

Little moments like this occur throughout the cooking process, how you turn to ask for something and he was already in the process of passing you the item before its name passed your lips.

The most alluring part however is the unwavering warm eye contact, and soft spoken but clear voice Joshua postures. Making you feel as if you are the only person in the world that he cares to give his attention to at that moment.

Dinner passes as easily as cooking and you escape with the excuse that you cooked and that means Seungcheol must do the dishes.

Under the steady stream of hot water you bite at your knuckles to mask a silent scream.

Who the hell was Joshua Hong and why had he come into your life showing you a piece that you hadn’t even known was missing!

Seungcheol calls out to you when you emerge from the bathroom, asking if you want to join them for the movie.

“No thanks Cheollie, I have an early shift tomorrow. Will you just take Ruby out one last time before bed?”

“I can take her,” Joshua pops up from the kitchen side of the hallway.

Startling you slightly, as if he magically knew the thoughts that had been overtaking your mind in the shower.

“Oh, it’s okay the yard is fenced in so you just let her out. We usually run in the mornings, but my schedule has been hectic the last week.”

“Do you want me to take her on my run in the morning?”

“You don’t have to do that, I consider this her holiday break too.”

Joshua’s eyes flick over your body and suddenly you feel a little too bare in your matching thermal pajamas.

“Goodnight,” you let out in a breathless hush.

“Sweet dreams!” Joshua responds with a warmth dripping off of his tone.

02:00

It appears Joshua had cursed you with the last sentence he had uttered. Suddenly it went from ten at night to two in the morning and you hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

Your eyelids tattooed with vivid images of him and his swell of shoulder muscles.

“UGH!” You wail into the satin of your pillowcase.

06:00

“Hey, wake up-”

A pleasing voice beckons you by name from your slumber, and you roll towards it- that is until your eyes open and you’re face to face with the entire reason you lost a whole night of sleep.

“Umph, what Joshua?”

You pull the covers higher up your chest as he kneels down beside your bed. Quickly taking in his runner flushed cheeks, bright eyes, legs in shorts despite the cold and putting together that he had just gotten back from a run.

“Come on, we picked up breakfast burritos on our way back.”

With a squeeze to your forearm Joshua rises from the floor and leaves you to unpeel yourself from your warm bed.

Once dressed you pad out in thick socks to find Seungcheol perched on the barstool across the counter from Joshua.

“I hope you don’t mind, we took Ruby with us this morning.”

You peel back the foil from the burrito Joshua has slid across the counter, looking around for your pup immediately at this news and finding her gnawing away at the remnants of a dried pig ear.

“I heard you tossing and turning all night, so I figured she might be just as restless as you cooped up in the house the past week.”

You cough around a bite of potato at Joshua’s statement, embarrassment flaring in your stomach. He had heard you last night. Only he didn’t know the blanket kicking was about him…or did he. This stranger seemed to be incredibly intuitive when it came to you.

Seungcheol smirks at the myriad of emotions that cascade across your face. You send him a glare, blindly reaching into the bag of dog treats and retrieving Ruby a new one.

“Ruby!” You whistle low while tossing the treat at him.

Ruby immediately tries to intercept the treat before it makes it to your cousin, successfully knocking Seungcheol off the stool backwards.

Joshua lets out a gasp that dissolves into laughter as Ruby not only snatches the treat but the remaining bit of bacon Seungcheol had pulled out of his burrito.

“Thank you for taking her and the burrito, Joshua.”

Boldly you plant a kiss to his cheekbone before escaping out the sunroom to shuck on your outdoor gear. Buzzing on sleep deprivation and winter delusion about the man occupying your sofa, you tuck into your hot, free breakfast to combat the cold on your walk to work.

13:00

That man happens to show up at the café later to do some work of his own. Typing away on his laptop, thin metal rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

Distracting you with secretive smiles and glances, so much so that you burn your hand on the steam wand. Which forces your coworker, Youngji, to swap with you for their usual spot at the register.

“Hey did you finish that pour over?”

“Shit Ji, I forgot!”

You spin around to prep the filter and grind fresh beans of the small batch roast the customer had requested. You’re absent watching the scalding water stream from the spout of the kettle when Youngji belatedly responds to you.

“Don’t worry, I such suck at no foam lattes.”

You turn to face them and see the counter flooded with soy milk. The two of you burst into laughter and you rush to help them clean up the mess. Before switching back to your usual strengths.

You pass off a perfectly executed and clean, no foam latte just as Youngji arrives to give the pour over to its customer.

“Wow he is…distracting,” Youngji rumbles, leaning her hip against yours.

You both steal a glance at Joshua who looks up just then, catching you both and sending a disarmingly bright smile at you in warm confusion.

Youngji pretends to faint at the sight of his smile, collapsing dramatically into your arms, causing all of you to erupt into laughter. Youngji beckons you closer and you lend her your ear.

“What in the Hallmark bs is this,” She whispers to you.

“It’s only Hallmark if he ends up sweeping someone away to their happily ever after.”

“Mmhm, I see that happening before my eyes.”

Youngji scans your body as you set her upright and shove her playfully back to the rightful spot at the register.

“Are you going to Soonyoung’s party tonight?”

“Planned on it, why?”

“You should bring him,” She juts her chin towards Joshua where he scowls at his computer screen.

“Well…I can ask, but I cannot force him Ji.”

“Yo, Joshua-”

His face whips towards the two of you, eyebrows raised in alarm at her tone.

“Yea you, there is a party tonight, you down?”

“Uh sure?”

“Cool, dress code is something sheer.”

“Okay…I don’t know if I have anyth-”

“Cheollie will hook you up, don’t worry.” Youngji smiles widely at him.

Joshua’s gaze flickers to you and you stifle a laugh at the look of mild fear on his face. You offer a sympathetic shrug to which he shakes his head and goes back to his work.

21:00

You had left the two men in Seungcheol’s room, in the process of dressing Joshua last minute, since he had left the cafe after you. Something about wrapping up his workload until the new year to allow for distractions.

Soonyoung had outdone himself this year, his house was lit up with clear lights on the outside. While the inside was draped in white fabric over more clear lights, creating a cozy frozen glow throughout the whole place.

Soonyoung shouts your name, waving you over to the shared DJ booth of Minghao and Youngji. You make your way slowly through the crowd, hugging, greeting and complimenting outfits as you go. Until you’re in front of two of your closest friends, burrowing into Soonyoung’s fuzzy white coat and wrapping him in a tight embrace.

“Soon, I thought the theme was sheer delight?”

“I am sheer too!” Soonyoung bursts his coat open dramatically to reveal a white tulle shirt underneath.

You laugh wholeheartedly, “the fur is the delight?”

“Exactly,” He beams at you with childlike earnestness, his hand plucking yours to spin you in a circle.

The icy blue lace of your sheer dress twirls the perfect amount around your navy tights.

“You look perfect, sheer and delightful!”

You hug Soonyoung close at his compliment, the two of you giggling and spinning around until Youngji stops you suddenly.

“H-o-l-y shit,” Youngji leans between the two of you, her gaze fixated on something across the room.

“You did not tell me he was packing those underneath his fisherman sweaters.”

You finally catch sight of what, or rather who she is talking about.

Joshua is chatting up Jeonghan animatedly, biceps straining in a gauzy black long sleeve shirt, modestly dressed over a fitted black tank top.

“I just recently found out too-” You breathe as Joshua seems to feel your stare and lifts his eyes to meet yours through the throngs of mingling people.

You don’t know how you see it, or even if it's just wishful thinking- but his eyes darken as they rake up your body. Self conscious suddenly creeping in, knowing that the deep blue intimate set you wore was boldly shining through the pale blue lace of the dress.

Jeonghan breaks the trance cast over the two of you, as he casts a mischievous look your way, whispering something into Joshua’s ear that has him slowly turning away.

With the spell broken, you turn back to your friends. Launching into everything you had learned about Joshua Hong over the hours.

Once their curiosity is satiated you drift away to find your coworkers and spend a little time with them, all the while your mind drifting back and forth between present conversations and to thoughts of Joshua.

You find them easily, seeking out the tallest person at the party, Mingyu. Who your cousin was tucked into sharing sips of Soonyoung’s sparkly party juice.

“Hey-” Joshua leans in to greet you, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“You look good!” You shout over the music.

“So do you,” His eyes drop to the section of your exposed midriff, fingers brushing the floral stitching of your dress.

“Did you want anything to drink?” You motion towards the cup in Mingyu’s hand.

“No, I was busy talking to your friend, Hannie-” He teases, and you roll your eyes moving away from him playfully.

Joshua tugs you back to his side, “I can get us some though.”

You only trust yourself to nod and Joshua leans in to whisper in your other ear.

“Don’t move, I will be right back.”

He turns to Mingyu, “I am going to get a drink, do you need a refill?”

Mignyu nods, kissing Seuncheol’s cheek before untangling himself and disappearing into the crowd of people with Joshua in tow, heading towards the kitchen.

Seungcheol smirks at you and you kick his shin, to which he gasps dramatically before the two of you slip onto the sofa together.

“Did you like his outfit?” Seungcheol wags his eyebrows at you.

You purse your lips, feigning disinterest, “he looks alright.”

“Alright?!? He has a better chest than me or Mingyu!”

You cast a faux contemptuous look at your cousin, “cheating on Mingyu already.”

You click your tongue disapprovingly at him.

“Speaking of, don’t wait for me, I am going to spend the night with Gyu.”

“Ew.”

“Well you could ew with our guest if you wanted.”

You punch Seungcheol and he pouts at you again, “stop hitting me! I bruise like a peach.”

“No you just have the ass of-”

He shoulders you over as Mingyu and Joshua reappear, making space for Mingyu to sit on the couch and create a safety barrier between you and your hits. Also successfully pushing you up against Joshua who had just taken a seat on the other side of you.

“Hi-” You say in unison, before laughing at the silliness.

Not much is said after that, you recline back on the sofa, Joshua draping his arm across the back as you take turns sipping the shimmery alcohol and watching others dance.

“You don’t want to dance?”

“I actually kinda want to go home, and cuddle Ruby-” You laugh, turning to look over your shoulder at him.

Joshua’s warm eyes slowly cut a path from where his fingers had been idly tracing a flower on your thigh up to your waiting gaze.

“Can I cuddle too?”

“Yea-” You breathe, realizing how close the two of you had gotten in that moment.

“Then let's go.”

Joshua trails behind you through the crowd, a lingering hand on your hip as you say your goodbyes.

Mingyu is thankfully kind enough to drop you at your place on his way home with Seungcheol.

“You know, I actually thought that you might be gay and I was going to try and pair you up with Cheollie.” You offer in an attempt to try and combat your nerves as you find the right key to open the door.

“I am open to the idea, although he seems arguably already quite taken. We have another problem.”

The door successfully unlocked you turned to Joshua, curiosity peaked. Your breath coming out in visible stutters at his proximity and the heat in his gaze.

“Seungcheol isn't my type, you are.”

23:00

“I don't usually do this-” You start as Joshua pulls your dress over your head as the two of you dance your way through the house to your room, Ruby sleepily following at your heels.

Dress still clutched in his fits, Joshua lunges to kiss you again as your hands tug his tops free from his pants.

“Neither do I, but we're both-” Joshua pants against your jaw as your hands skim his bare stomach.

“Consenting adults, yea.”

With one look at each other, Joshua tosses your dress into the bathroom and laundry hamper before snatching you off the ground. Once secure in his arms you’re battling one another again orally again. Tongues twisting with urgency, moans folded between each lick as Joshua carries you towards the bedroom.

“Fuck that was attractive,” You groan when he tosses you effortless on the bed, before turning around to apologize to Ruby before shutting the door.

Joshua laughs, climbing over you and slotting knee between your barely covered thighs, “my strength or me apologizing to Ruby?”

You tug him to you with a fistful of his shirt, “both- but I was talking about your biceps.”

You give both of his arms a squeeze and drop your head back with a show of appreciation. Joshua chuckles into your clavicle, his tongue tracing the bone structure to the hollow of your neck. Groaning against your throat as you tease the trim of his pants, before laying a path of damp, open mouth kisses to your lips. His hands roaming with purposeful squeezes across your body.

“This set, it's driven me crazy all night.”

Joshua’s fingers dip into the cup of your bra, dragging his nail over your hardened nipple. Your body stutters in response as your eyes lift to his lidded ones.

“Yea?”

“Yea,” Joshua hums, his other hand cupping your face and thumb stroking your cheek with a paradoxical softness compared to the hunger of his kisses.

“Then it did its job,” you smile wickedly at him, and flip Joshua over so that you’re the one on top and grind slowly against the denim covered bulge of his pants.

Joshua gasps out a shocked moan, fingers biting into the fabric of your tights as you slide against him. Your hands shoving his shirt up and mouth chasing each inch of skin that is exposed. He lets his head drop back into the bed.

“Fuck,” his hands blindly find your thighs to hold you against him as he rolls his hips upwards, “it never feels this good, this fast.”

Your gasps mingling as you successfully push the shirts up under his jaw, and seek out his mouth for rewarding kisses.

“Too many clothes,” You mumble against his lips.

“I agree,” and his fingers slip under the hem of your tights to peel them down your ass.

Breaking the kiss briefly to roll them over your knees and off your feet before tossing them aside, your bra joining seconds later as his fingers dive under the band of your panties to grab twin handfuls of your ass and rub you into his restrained erection.

“Joshua-” you whine.

“I'm right here, what do you need?” His lips brush your ear.

“More-” you cry, rutting against the denim, hard.

“Condoms?” He gasps, fingers squeezing your breasts together and kissing each swell with a show of admiration.

“Top drawer, I'll get it. You take off your pants.”

You clambering off of Joshua midsentence to retrieve the protection.

“You don't want to take them off?”

You glance over your shoulder to see him on his stomach gazing at you with those molten eyes.

“I think you’ll blow your load if I do that,” You can’t help but jest.

Joshua laughs heartily, “ you might be right.”

He rolls easily off the bed and you watch him discard his tangled shirts, before his fingers methodically pop the button, tease the zipper down and shimmy in what feels like slow motion out of the blue jeans.

“I might blow my load actually…” You mumbled, climbing back onto the bed.

Joshua's eyes cut to yours and he snatches your ankle tugging you to the middle and crawls over you.

“Good thing we both can come more than once.”

You cant when his hand tightly cups the prize at the apex of your thighs.

“Joshua-” his name melts into your kiss, with a whisper of yours.

Your fist clenches the condom as two of his fingers test the wetness between your folds before thrusting into you. You throw your head back with a gasp as he fucks you open on them.

“I'm a little big-” He starts to explain.

“I know-” You gasp, clutching his shoulders as he adds a third finger.

His smirking mouth lowers to your breast, teething at your nipples as his hand palms at your clit and fingers stroke your core. Softening you for him, pushing you just to the edge before buzzing to a stop.

“Joshua!”

You had been so absorbed in your own body you hadn’t noticed that his breathing had grown labored and his hips had been driving a hole into the bedding between your thighs.

“Are you ready for me?”

You nod in response, hips chasing his retreating fingers. Joshua sits back on his calves and you pass him the condom. He presses a kiss to your lips before putting the wrapper between them rising up on his knees to roll his boxer briefs down, smiling around the item in his mouth at your reaction to his cock. Wasting no time he rips it with his teeth, eyes on yours and fists the latex over his length until it's secure.

His fingers tips are on your hips next, dragging the band of the panties down your thighs and tossing them off to join the other items of clothing.

“Come here-” Joshua purrs, arm slipping under your back to help you climb into his lap.

Your hands find his waiting erection and guide it into your needy core, both of you let out a joint gasp as he breeches your walls.

“I want to go slow, but I want you too bad-” Joshua moans as you start to sink down on him.

One of his hands spread over the back of your ribs and the other under your ass, controlling your depth for your own comfort.

“Okay-” you spread your knees and roll your hips forward sensually, “we can go slow.”

You whisper the last part against his jaw and you move to mark his neck.

“Ahhh,” Joshua breathes and his hips jolt up into yours, stroking you in a way that has your eyes rolling back.

“Do that again.”

He does and does until you're fully seated, leaking arousal all over the inside of his spread thighs.

“Was that slow enough?”

His mouth is busy sucking deliberately on a nipple, as his hand massages the other one and his hips meet your desperate thrusts.

“Joshua wait, I'm gonna-ngh,” your first orgasm rolls over the two of you.

Your body convulses in his arms as his mouth releases your breast to bury his face in your neck. Strong hand holding you by the nape of the neck firmly and all of his focus on fucking you through the aftershocks or your climax. His deepened breaths are the only thing anchoring you to the bed. You cry out as the intensity of everything seizes you, your nails digging into the supple swells of his shoulders.

“Joshu-”

“I have you, keep going.”

You spread your thighs to mobilize enough power to fuck him harder, slower and longer. Fueled by Joshua whining your name and clutching you to him as you do. His praises and encouragement doused over you like the blanket of snow dusting the ground outside. Each stroke stoking the build up of another combustive fire inside you.

“Ah fuck,” Joshua exclaims, sweeping you under him.

You let out a startled yelp that deepens into a moan as he drives into you.

“Oh fuck!”

He smirks down at you, bangs damp against his forehead as he thrusts into with vigor, “I just said that.”

“Joshua!”

“Going to come again?”

You nod urgently, the only sounds leaving your mouth are desperate whimpers as your body starts to tighten again. Your thighs pressing to his hips is an attempt to fight off your orgasm just a little longer. His eyebrows converge, bearing down with his hands to your hips as he works your body over, his lips parting as you start to shake underneath him.

“Are you waiting for me?” Joshua gasps in realization.

“Yes!” You whine, fingers twisting in your bedding as your head presses back into the pillows.

“Fuck-” he grunts, shoving your legs up by the back of your thighs.

“You already said that-” you tease between gasps.

“Want to hear me moan your name instead?”

His eyes catch yours, with the slits you are managing to keep open. Watching as his warm irises are eclipsed by the new moon of his pupil as he whispers your name, brokenly.

That is what sends you over, gasping his name as he holds true to his promise, moaning yours as he slams against the back of your thighs. Until his hips tremble and he whines your name with unsheltered need, pressing your legs to your chest, and seeking your lips.

You clutch him to you as seismic waves of your orgasm quake over the both of you. Joshua gently lowers your legs to the bed before persisting in his pursuit of oral dance. Moaning into the back of your throat as you idly roll your hips against him.

“Keep it up and I am going to come again,” he growls, fingers pinching your nipple so that your body jumps in delight under his.

“I thought you said you could come more than once?”

“Get another condom.”

© COPYRIGHT 2021 - 2025 by kiestrokes 

All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

-

When you were younger, you didn’t think too much on soulmates. They were something the grown-ups spoke about, not something you concerned yourself with. 

All you knew is that on the first of December, your dreams would change and you’d see your friends. Eight of them, a few older than you, a few younger. You didn’t speak the same language as most of them (only Chris and Felix spoke English and as a child, you had zero knowledge of Korean) but you didn’t need that to be able to play. 

You got very good at gesturing to get your point across.

It was always the same place - a train that seemed to chug endlessly around a snow-covered landscape. It never stopped anywhere, never slowed down, never sped up, but it was always on its way.

To where? None of you knew.

You and your friends had free run of the corridors, playing hide and seek between plush seats and drinking endless amounts of hot chocolate that always seemed to appear as you thought about it.

And when new year stuck, your dreams would return to the empty slate they were before and you’d have to wait another year to see them again.

You were eight when you mentioned it to your mother, exclaiming your determination to go to bed early, and she carefully explained what a soulmate link was. 

Some people got names scrawled on their bodies. Some people got timers, numbers ticking down to the enviable conclusion. Others still saw red threads, a thin line connecting you physically to your fated other, no matter the distance.

You? You got linked dreams but only for 31 days of the year.

As you got older, into your heartbroken and dramatic teenager years, you’d hated it. Why did everyone else get to have this consistent link to the ones that they were destined to be with? Why were you and your soulmates relegated to this short burst of joy before it gets yanked away from you for another year?

“No one gets a choice of how it presents,” your father had tried to console.

“I’m sure your soulmates feel the same way,” your mother added, as if that would somehow help.

One tearful 31st December, when you were fifteen and emotions were increasingly too much for you to handle, you’d sobbed and told them that you hated that this would it for another 11 months. 

“I’m going to miss you,” you’d cried.

Chris, already sixteen and acting like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, had gathered you close in gangly teenage arms and promised they’d miss you too. Changbin, more stotic in those times than he was now, kept a hand on the small of your back, expression set in grim sadness that matched your own.

Jisung, smaller, leaner but oh so sweet, had brushed away tears from your ruddy cheeks, even as his own eyes swelled. Minho said something, no doubt mocking, to him in Korean that you couldn’t understand yet, but never let go of Jisung’s hand.

Seungmin, quieter, shy with his affections, had looked away so you wouldn’t see the heartbreak in his eyes, but he’d held your hand until the last moment, pressing sweet kisses to the back. Jeongin, the youngest, excited but shy, offered words of comfort and demanded that Chris translate them exactly as he said them.

Felix, pretty even when flushed with tears, asked you to smile, not cry. “I want to remember your smile for the year,” he’d said earnestly. Hyunjin agreed and tried to make you laugh as best he could with a mix of broken English and Korean.

The joy you felt at the beginning of the month to the heartbreak at the end was hard, but that year, to fullfill your promise to your boys, you tried to be positive. 

You threw yourself into Korean studies so that when Minho or Changbin or Jeongin spoke to you next December, you’d be able to answer them back. You had a notebook specially for writing down things you wished you could share with your soulmates. You filed away every piece of information they gave you over the month, hoping it would lead to something. Some way of finding them, of staying connected with them over the long period of emptiness.

It never did.

They all found each other in the end. Your talented, handsome soulmates. They were idols now, these famous figures that you could search for whenever you wanted. 

And you did, frequently. It made your heartache and burst with happiness to see them together, whenever you wanted to.

“When we’re rich,” Jeongin had promised back when they’d debuted, his baby face just beginning to become more grown up, “we’ll fly you to Seoul.”

“I have university,” you’d shaken your head.

“School’s important,” Chris agreed.

Felix pouted. “But we want you with us.” 

“When I come to Seoul, I need to know it’ll be forever,” you had confessed, “let me be equal to you.”

“You’re always equal,” Hyunjin had been quick to say.

You weren’t, you knew that. At that time, you were a debt-ridden second year, and they were making money you couldn’t begin to dream of, flying to places all around the world. Walking catwalks for designer labels and having fans who screamed their names daily.

You, with your literature degree, couldn’t match up.

But you would. You worked hard to get a first class, to join a publishing company as a translator, to build a name and a career for yourself. In the end, you didn’t need to be flown out to South Korea by your famous soulmates- you did that on your own, your company accepting your transfer to the Seoul offices.

You’d be moving before the new year, areas of your apartment already filing away into boxes, some already in transit to be at your new place when you arrived. It was a whirlwind, especially with the holiday season, but it felt like your life was heading towards an enviable conclusion.

You in Seoul with your soulmates.

Now you just need to tell them.

-

When the others arrived, it was like their bodies slipped from behind chairs or down corridors. As if they had always been there, just waiting for you. Sometimes, on the gentle rocking of the train carriage, it was hard to imagine them anywhere else.

Changbin had been giving you updates on the last year, as if you hadn’t been tracking their every public appearance. Still, you hummed and replied as if it was the first time you’d learned about it. Jisung’s shout of your name, full of excitement that he had every year, without fail, and you sat up straighter to see.

You caught him over the seats. He’d gotten broader of the last year, seemed to hold himself with more confidence that made your heart swell to see. His grin was blinding when his eyes landed on you.

Changbin made a show of holding on to you for a moment longer, mock whining about not wanting to share you just yet, before letting you go with a kiss and a soft smile.

You didn’t run to Jisung, but you did slam into him, fingers gripping at the back of his sleep hoodie, face pressing against the comforting warmth of his bared neck. His hands were under your thighs, lifting you up as you squeaked your complaints and tightened your legs around his waist.

God, he was stronger than last year. He was beaming at you, face bright and eyes warm, and you bumped your nose against his.

“I missed you, love,” he breathed, and you whispered it back, heart pounding in your chest.

Behind you both, someone made a noise of objection. “Ya! Put her down, I don’t want you to drop her.” Minho scolded.

Jisung huffed in disagreement, grip tightening. “I won’t,” he argued, “we’re in a dream. I’ll carry her forever.”

The declaration made you laugh, just it made Minho sigh fondly. You turned your head to watch him approach, each movement languid and relaxed, like you had all the time in the world. He smirked when he saw you looking and pressed in close to you, brushing your lips with his.

“You look good baby,” he whispered.

You hummed. You released one hand so that you could trace along his cheekbones. “How’s your ankle?”

Minho’s eyes flickered with surprise and then melted into affection. “Doesn’t hurt,” he promised.

“Between you and Minnie, I was worried you were working yourselves too hard,” you admitted.

When the news from the latest performances had come out to fans, you had admittedly panicked. Made you wish you’d asked for their numbers in the real world so you could reach out and soothe your own concerns. Hyunjin had offered them to you before, but honestly, you’d been afraid to accept it, as if they spent more time in your company, they’d somehow come to regret having you as their soulmate. An irrational fear born from distance.

It was hard to think that now, with Jisung’s forehead resting against your temple and Minho looking at you like you were the world.

“We are,” Jeongin stretched in the aisle, rolling tightness in his hips before grinning widely at you. “I need a holiday. Preferably on a beach with Noona.” He winked, and you flushed, charmed.

“Confident now, aren’t we daddy bread?” you teased, delighting in the way he went deliciously red. 

Innie had gotten surer of himself, of his love, over the last few years but you enjoyed that he still folded under the lightest push back. You couldn’t wait to kiss the blush from his cheeks when you were alone – he wasn’t big on displays of affection in front of the others, each of his relationships with his soulmates private and personal. You appreciated that about him.

Unexpectedly, hands – slender fingers, cold metal of rings biting into the soft flesh above the band of your trousers – wrap around you securely and lift, much to Jisung’s vocal objections. You yelped when you dropped unexpectedly into a warm lap, but when your limbs were manhandled to turn, straddling someone’s lap, you knew exactly who it was.

Even messy with slumber, Hyunjin was sultry. The discovery of his sexual expression had been a delight for all who got to be on the receiving end of it as much as it was headache-inducing. Bare-faced, he looked at you with a sly uptick at the corner of his lips and intensely focused eyes. He was like that, you knew, his sole focus narrowed in on whoever he was talking to. He breathed your name and tugged you closer to put his lips on yours, a sensual slide that made your toes curl and a contented hum rise at the back of your throat.

“No fair,” Jisung pouted and then draped himself dramatically against Minho’s side.

Hyunjin pulled away, lips wet and pupils blown. “Sharing is caring,” he shot back.

“Says Mr Possessive,” Changbin teased. He had shifted so his legs were stretched out in the aisle between seats, arms crossed over his chest.

Hyunjin shot him a grin. “I don’t mind sharing you,” he said, “I’m sure baby doesn’t mind, do you?”

There was heavy implication in his words and heat curled up your neck.

A hand reached between seats and clapped Hyunjin on the back of the neck, making him yell in surprise. Chris stuck his head around the seats, an amused mix of interest and disapproval on his face. “Let’s keep it PG, Jinnie,” he ordered, “it’s only day one.” Then he looked at you, eyes softening with deep affection, “we have a lot to catch up on.”

Familiar paint chipped nails curled under your chin and urged you to look up. Felix’s smiling face was there, bare and flushed, nose wrinkled so cutely. “We missed you, darling,” he said.

“Missed you too,” you replied. Your eyes danced across your boys and frowned slightly. “Where’s Minnie?”

As if on command, the carriage door swung open and Seungmin stepped inside, hands in the pockets his sweatpants. You watched his gaze dance across them all before they landed on you and relaxed.

“Noona,” he smiled, that wide gummy smile that only seemed to wear when he was truly happy, “You look pretty.”

And it was like the world righted itself. Like the eleven months of the year without this were the real dream, the dimmed nightmare of life, while here, amongst the snow and your beloveds, you were finally alive once more.

Hyunjin must have felt you relax into him before his hands stroked a love heart into your hip. A silent mark upon you. 

It was the evening of December 1st and you were finally happy again.

-

“If you get drunk in a dream, do you have a hangover in real life?” Jisung wondered out loud, staring into the depths of his mug of spiked hot chocolate.

“Haven’t we tested that one already?” Jeongin asked.

Changbin groaned dramatically. “Don’t remind me. We had dance practice the next day. Instructor-nim was mean.”

As you got older, the dining cart had expanded, adding floor tables and blankets that you would all huddle around. You were under Seungmin’s arm, who had dragged you close and refused to let go, no matter what his hyungs' said. Felix had squashed in on the other side of you, one of your hands tugged into his lap so he could trace the smooth edge of your Christmas nails.

Jisung was resting against Hyunjin, who initially loudly complained but now sat with his free hand under Jisung’s hoodie, fingers splayed across his stomach. Minho and Chris were shoulder to shoulder, brushing each other when they moved. Jeongin was braced up against the wall but had his bare feet under Changbin’s wide thighs, who was happily keeping them warm.

It was cozy, comfortable, building a sense of peace that you had almost forgotten could exist around you. You hoped it would feel the same way when you met in person.

Your stomach clenched nervously and made you feel momentarily sick. Alone in your apartment, the excitement for the move, for finally getting the chance to stop this horrific loneliness, your future had unfolded like a fairytale in front of you. Prince Charming (or eight of them), the princess and the happily ever after.

But now, for a terrifying moment, their bodies felt too warm. Too real. And you felt like one wrong word would ruin everything. It was an anxiety that you had to push down, because you knew it was just you imagining the worst-case scenario. 

These boys, your soulmates – you’d known each other since you were all children, unaware of the way your lives were connected, unaware of what destiny dictated you to be. They’d seen you at your snotty childhood and your bratty teenage years; they’d cheered you through restless December nights of university. They’d seen your worst.

Yet they were still here. Holding on to you as tight as they held on to each other.

You grasped that precious knowledge tightly, unwilling to let it shatter.

“I,” your voice went dry. You cleared it and let your eyes dance just above their heads. If you didn’t look at them, you could be brave, you reasoned. “I have something to tell you.”

There was a weighted pause, the kind that wrapped and sunk you with anticipation. It wasn’t until Chris’ hesitant, worried voice said your name that you realised how it must have sounded to them.

You shook your head. “No, wait, it’s not bad. At least, I don’t think it’s bad. I hope you don’t think it’s bad.”

“Darling,” Felix said softly, raised your hand to press a kiss to the knuckles.

You shuddered a breath. “Okay, so I’m moving.” You licked your lips nervously, “to Seoul. I’m moving to Seoul.”

There was quiet for a moment and then –

“Wait, really?” Jisung sat up straight, eyes wide with unconcealed hope.

“How?” Minho demanded. His expression was fluxating between excitement and disbelief, like all his dreams were coming true.

Seungmin’s fingers flexed around your shoulder. “What about your job?” he sounded worried. He knew how much you loved your job at the publishing house, had spoken to him for hours about it one Christmas. He wanted you with them – god, did he want you there - but not at the expense of giving up something you adore.

You smiled up at him shyly. “They have a Seoul branch,” you explained, “They approved my transfer a few months ago.”

“When do you move?” Jeongin was practically vibrating.

“My flight is December 28th. I wanted to go earlier, but my parents demanded we spend one last Christmas together,” you said bashfully.

They had been so proud of you, always had been, but they knew, once you boarded that flight, once you were in the same space as your soulmates, it would be a while before they saw you in person. It both broke your heart and comforted you to know that.

“28th? Hyung, do we have a schedule?” Hyunjin asked.

Chris hummed thoughtfully. “One performance before our break, I think.”

“Do you have a ride from Incheon?” Felix asked eagerly. “Should we come?”

You laughed, joy and love overwhelming. “Babe, you can’t come and get me. What if people see?”

Changbin made a show of pouting. “But I want to see my baby as soon as she lands.”

Chris cooed and pinched his soulmate's puffy cheeks. “So cute,” he teased and laughed when Changbin whined in complaint. Then he looked to you with soft eyes, “We’ll ask someone from the company to come and get you, okay? And we’ll come to your new apartment, whenever you want us.”

“Immediately,” you answered honestly.

Seungmin brushed his lips against your cheek. His whispered voice was raw, honest and trembling. “Is this real?” he said, “you’re going to be with us? Really be with us?”

You turned so that you could kiss him, a firm touch of lips that still made your head spin like the first time. He let out a shaky breath against you, arm slipping to move around your waist, holding you closer. “It’s real,” you promised, “I'm so excited.”

“Us too,” Seungmin swore and kissed you again.

Later in the evening, just before the sun began peeking over the snowy mountain caps, and you knew that it would soon be time to return to the living world, Chris crowded you against a carriage door. He held you close, head dipped so you could feel his breath against your lips, the heat of his hand on your hips holding you still.

“This will be the best Christmas you know,” he confessed, “with you as our Christmas gift.”

Your fingers curled in the front of his hoodie. “I can’t wait to touch you for real,” you admitted, “to have you all on January 1st.”

Chris brushed a finger along your jaw. “You always have us,” he said, so sure, “Every morning, every evening, January to December. We’re yours. God, I can’t wait to see you outside of a train.”

You laughed. “It’ll be weird. Like you’re real people.” You joked, “I’ve seen you in pyjamas for the last twenty years. Do you even have normal clothes?”

“I bet you’ll look cute in our clothes,” Chris bumped his nose with yours.

You exhaled softly. “I can’t wait.”

“28 days,” he murmured.

“28,” you repeated. 

You could feel the lightness in your head, the sign that it was time to wake up, to return to your normal life. This time, it didn’t feel devastating, like you were losing a part of yourself.

Because there was a countdown to when it would no longer just be a dream. Come the end of December, your boys wouldn’t fade away into greyness, wouldn’t be a wish for the entire year.

Come the end of December, you’d open your eyes in the morning, and they would still be there.

Your boys. Your loves. Your soulmates.

------------------------------------------------------------

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