all the rest illusion

vibe check

laying an egg hard and loud

will the person who tagged this “stephen colbert” please approach the bench.

i hate star trek because every time theyre like “oh my god the skringles have broken the crankus treaty with the skronglies which mean the flongles are starving because they cant get binkbonk berries” and every time im like “oh my god they cant get binkbonk berries…”

texting my coworker “hey! how are you feeling” and reading it 40 times to make sure i didn’t accidentally type how are you sex cum penis ass cum porn 1080p hot cock

Why is this worded like an ACT/SAT question?

Because it is one

itmeans everything to me

you're not just misinterpreting the characters, you're misinterpreting the entire story because you're thick in the head. once again i have to bear the burden of having every correct opinion in the world.

why do coffee makers growl at you. What's the point of all that

They’re called baristas and they’re working very hard, they deserve to let off steam however they’d like.

everyone’s hallucinating. Red guy is having a baby, yellow guy is doing a sick air guitar solo, blue guy is getting shot in slow motion and beige guy just got out of an imaginary divorce. 

beige guy just kicked EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE WIGGLES IN THE BALLS and is standing in the middle of the carnage, contemplating life

Period cramp simulator on three cis dudes and one trans man