Love Yourself So No One Has To

I’ve gone back and forth about the right thing to do and same, but at the end of the day there’s isn’t something “right” to say.

What’s right is that I made a choice to protect myself and I’ve been trying to find ways to deal with that in a healthy way. Having mental illnesses and doing things in order to take control in an effort to maintain a kind of sanity and protection is hard. I’ve gotten mad, stayed silent, cried myself to sleep, and suffered in silence.

I’ve never be able to do something that was good for me until red flags were tucking me into bed at night.

Although so much time as passed I still feel anger, pain, and love for a person who hurt me, but helped me grow.

I haven’t been able to reconcile with that.

I don’t know if I ever can.

But I know that I’m at a crossroads.

Friendship is becoming difficult, rekindling might hurt me again, and what’s left.... is just total separation.

It’s a choice I just can’t make because my heart is tired and hurt.