Half Of What You Are

Hello.

I just happened to look at my ao3 yesterday and it turns out my works have now amassed over 50,000 hits. That blows my miiiiind.

I have finished The Novel (I am still editing...still🤦🏼‍♀️). Here’s a v tiny snippet from it that I’m proud of.

I'm gonna cheat and restart this week because pretty much all I achieved was my artist date (WENT TO SEE PVRIS UGH SOOOOO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!)

TAW Check In - End of Week 2

I did my artist date, Julia, yes, and loved every minute. Got v inspired.

I did 4/7 'morning pages' sessions because clearly I jinxed myself with saying my mental health was the best it's ever been... Because of something at work, I had severe anxiety leading up to today so I couldn't write in that state. I'm determined to do ~250words tonight to end the week well.

Turns out that novel I was going to write wasn't happening much so I decided a few days ago that that needs to change if I want to meet my goal of having the first draft done by the end of the year. I've always had TAW at the back of my mind since being introduced to it over 12 years ago. Then, recently, a few people I follow on other platforms were giving it a go; I took it as a sign.

My aims with it are more to do with re-establishing discipline and routine with regards to my writing and getting out to my beloved galleries like I used to but who knows what else will come from it, if anything (well, a novel, duh).

Anyway, today I began. I take my 'morning pages' as my non-negotiable book writing time which, yes, I know, is cheating, but seeing as I'm surprisingly the most mentally healthy I ever remember being, I don't feel like I have any life shit clogging me up. I got up, I had my coffee and I wrote within my designated time frame before working out and going on my Artist Date.

I'm meant to 'list 3 enemies of my creative self worth' (lol the drama of it all). I guess those are: 1. The illusion of 'not having enough time' when I absolutely do. 2. Forgetting™ 3. My desire to keep everything I like, do, write etc as close to my chest and secret as possible.

Skipping the next couple of tasks because I cba, I'm now meant to 'list my 3 champions of my creative self worth': 1. My innate self discipline. 2. The joy I find in writing. 3. Me, full stop. I'm forever my own best cheerleader.

Next task is Imaginary Lives. If I had five other lives to lead I would...(this is hard lmao it's difficult enough imagining much more of my current one, which I'm completely satisfied with thank you very much): 1. Have tried harder when I first started practising and become more proficient with guitar/bass and singing. 2. Travelled the world alone a lot younger than I plan to. 3. Have gotten a cat as soon as I bought my flat. 4. Have cultivated an online following more (if I hadn't chosen the profession I have or by doing so whilst still remaining anonymous) which, unfortunately, nowadays bodes well for prospective publishers etc. 5. Have become a PT like I wanted to when I was a teen (and avoided the health problems I had that blew any chances of that to pieces).

Well, I’m off to a good start I guess. 1006 words written and a lovely day had. Here are some pics to sum it up.

Oh, and no I will NOT be documenting every damn day of TAW but a weekly check in might be of use to me. Accountability and all that. If you happen to read it too, well, hello👋🏻I guess.

This is an absolutely insane number to me. THANK YOU. For reading - still - and engaging.

Funny you said that because I'm hoping to have a bit more free time soon and I thought hmm I wonder if I could go and rewrite/edit and continue that fic I started.

No promises, unfortunately, but I'll never say never.

:') makes me v happy that you reread it, thank you!