Half Kosher

This sort of gatekeeping and abuse unfortunately happens in most cultures, where a term that means “not us” within a specific community will be applied to those who are deemed insufficiently aligned with the perceived values of that group. For example, a gay friend of mine with exhibits a lot of traits that are associated with stereotypical mainstream American masculinity is often told by other gay men that he’s “so fucking straight.” This upsets him because he’s not straight and his lifestyle/dress/behavior does not and should not define his sexuality. The people who call him straight are assholes. But that also doesn’t make straight a slur just because they are using it incorrectly to insult somebody.

Another example: I am very fair-skinned, despite being mixed race. I have been called ‘gori girl’ a few times at Indian cultural events, which is definitely hurtful because I’m part Bengali and that terminology as applied to me denies my ethnicity. But when applied properly, Gori and Gora are not offensive terms. They literally just mean “white person,” so if you’re talking about an actual white person and not a very light-skinned Desi, then it’s totally fine.

Hi anon!

Reform Judaism emphasizes choice through knowledge whereby the individual makes an informed choice based off of ancient, medieval and contemporary sources of Jewish law and practice. 

Although I will certainly tell you my opinion on the matter, I preempted it with the commentary on “Choice through Knowledge” because that is the lens which I view life Jewishly and how most/many Reform Jews do.

Being in a relationship is about loving and respecting each others similarities and differences.  Being in an interfaith relationship is very challenging, but it also can be incredibly rewarding.  That being said, I do not see a problem with celebrating your partner’s holidays for him as he should celebrate Jewish holidays for you.  But there should be boundaries set up as to make sure that you both feel comfortable.  I suggest that you experiment and learn about each others faiths so that you both can make a serious decision on how to raise your household.

As of right now, if I were an ordained Rabbi (which I won’t be for five more years), I would only marry a Jew and a non-Jew if they were to raise their children in a Jewish household, sending them to Religious School toward their b’nai Mitzvah and celebrated the holidays and Shabbat at home.  But I would never want to force a couple’s children to not get to experience the *other* religion with the other parent.  But, just like in a relationship, there needs to be boundaries set up, clear answers to questions and a situation set up so that children do not feel as if they are hurting the non-Jewish parent by *not being the other religion*.

In conclusion: put up the decorations, go to Christmas Dinner, celebrate for your boyfriend.  But don’t do anything that feels uncomfortable.  If mass is too much, he should understand when the High Holidays come around!

If you have any other questions about this or anything else, I would love to chat.  Feel free to ask on the new chat feature or we can private message as well.

B’hatzlacha v’hag Sameach! Good luck and Happy Holiday!

Google Doodle Honors Hedy Lamarr, Hollywood Star And Wi-Fi Inventor

The “most beautiful woman in the world” would have turned 101 on Monday.

going to visit the Jewish History museum in New York, and knowing you’re in the right place before you can check the signs because there are police permanently stationed outside

having to go through a metal detector before you can go in

knowing that every other Jew in the building is terrified that they could be murdered for who they are at any minute, even in the heart of the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

It’s considering whether you should give your actual name or your middle name or a Christian name (and yes I know people who move to other countries do this as well, for a long list of reasons, and it’s problematic and irritating and also sad because you like your name but you’ve got to change it so people like you).

It’s explaining your holidays and festivals in terms of Christian festivals.

In my case it was barely learning anything about the Jewish faith at school except in relation to the Nazis, and even then no one ever spoke about resistance. In religious studies we learnt about Christianity (reasonable-England’s a Christian country), Buddhism, Sikhism and Hinduism. We even learnt a bit about Islam.

It’s living in England and being terrified when anti-Semite are reported to be on the rise in France because you know there’s a very real chance it will spread to England.

It’s not telling people you’re Jewish, and, in my case, preparing the defence that my mother’s from a Christian family (she converted, but they don’t need to know), and using that to let people assume you’re not Jewish.

It’s going to you Jewish cousin’s wedding while there’s a nazi rally occurring across the street from your hotel.

It’s getting laughed at for crying during a Holocaust documentary in history class because you know your grandparents went through that. 

Yes my school, a community college, has a tiny Jewish population and yes often I am the only Jew in my class, but I can’t do this anymore.

So when you tell me that Judaeo-Christian  viewpoint of sex is for procreation only, seed is life because they didn’t understand science, and other such stuff in my Sexual Behavior class yeah I’m going to raise my hand and say something.

I’m going to respectfully tell you that Judaeo-Christian is not even a thing because they are nothing a like and it perpetuates the idea that Judaism is Christianity-lite. Also these two religions could not be more different.

Also if you look at the Tanach and Talmud you will see they are very ahead of their times in terms of science and they discuss life, conception, and biology. 

That in Judaism sex is meant to be good and fun and not for procreation only. That women are not obligated to have children and are entitled to have sex be enjoyable for them.

When I am in my Women in Literature class and you tell me the during the Renaissance only 4% of women were educated I am going to ask to clarify if you are talking about Christian women because if you looked at Muslim and Jewish women during that time period and during most times period they were far more educated then their Christian counterparts.

And you know what. I am incredibly proud of myself. They say we have many selves our Academic Self, Familial Self, Hidden Self, Developmental Self and so on, but you know what fundamental aspects to all my selves I have often hidden away out fear and a million other reasons, my Jewishness. 

My Jewishness is so ingrained in how I view the world, how I conduct myself, what my moral and ethic codes are, and so much more. I am sick of having and being encouraged to hide it. Yeah the way people have built the world is that is makes being a Jew very difficult to almost impossible and it is pretty clear that this is not a world set up for Jews to have a place, but if goyim get go out a be why can’t I?

There is long line of strong Jewish women reaching back to Sarah, the first Jewish woman, who I take strength and courage from.