"When you see white and it doesnt bleed right away and you have that moment of just Oh shit"
Yeah. Yeah I get it now.
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@haisyclouds
"When you see white and it doesnt bleed right away and you have that moment of just Oh shit"
Yeah. Yeah I get it now.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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iām not doing bad enough to deserve or need help because iām happy sometimes and i can usually function ānormallyā.
but i have cuts covering my arm and iām eating badly.
but i shouldnāt be doing those things because i should be able to cope and iām not doing that badly.
but i clearly canāt cope if iām resulting to these negative coping mechanisms.
but iām not like going to kms or anything.
but i wouldnāt be complaining if i didnāt wake up tomorrow.
Getting better seems like to much work. Thereās so much comfort in being at your worst.
It doesn't feel like enough
The comfort of cutting is too nice, do I even want to get better?

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I just love the fact that my scars will never fade away...
Well I just fucking relapsed.
2 months clean down the gutter
I hate how I want to hide my scars from everyone, but also wanting more.
Theyāre so ugly but I also weirdly love them
Iāll never tell anyone about this because Iām terrified theyāll think Iām doing it for attention
i feel like i cant talk to anybody about this
if i want to self harm just because i want to... is that a reason for you to hate me?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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CW// vent post
i donāt think iām sick enough to go to a mental hospital. i need to be sicker, iām not worthy of help. but i hate everything and i just need to be away for a while. ļæ¼
Do you ever feel lonely but donāt want to talk to anybody?
I donāt want to exist anymore
But I donāt want to die
āI smile, I try, but truth is I want to dieā

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
i hate when you think youāre finally getting better and then everything comes crashing down.
dont you hate it when all those negative emotions you bottled up come crashing down because of one tiny inconvenience and you dont know how to handle it so it turns into a panic attack and s*lf h*rm because you "have no reason to feel like that" and then you feel extremely guilty for having emotions and when it's all over you feel so numb you might as well not be real?
shit.