mary magdalene said gay rights

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

i'm not dying on this hill, I'm killing you on it actually.

Girl with a uniform fetish who is turned on by all things and concepts an equal amount

hit her gpt-spot by accident and she started saying we weren't just having sex, we were teaching a masterclass on pleasure

I stopped being special for 2 seconds today and the pain? Unimaginable.

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

Did my balls hear a who because they are definitely horton rn #testicular torsion

i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire

💵🫲}([[[[[)

I JUST MADE ONE PILLION DOLLARS