Pink Guts

 i dont know my head hurts. 

if i just keep my guard up, dont show anything, no one will leave me again.

im tired.

i was doing so good pushing everything down but the one day i have a break from everything i just can’t handle all these feelings all this self loating all the cravings. 

i hate working but ithelps me feel numb. like nothing. im just so fucking tired.im tired of knowing. tired of my own guilt, tired of my own past. tired tired tired tired so fucking tire.d.

pretending not to be messed up is exhausting

just shut up. suck it in. fucking suck it in.

if i just do it i wouldnt feel anything anymore

its toxic that i even feel this way i hate myself

unlovable unlovable unlovable unlovable unlovable unlovable unlovable

how many more

i wish i knew what i di dwrong

i dont know

i get why ppl stop talking to me tho my sadness is exhausting. id leave me if i could.

is past me ok? give them a hug.