witcher blog

Table of Contents

Do not interact

Pronouns

Currently playing/reading/watching

Previously played/read/watched

My fics

Thoughts on characters:

Main Characters

The Lodge

The Hansa

Ciri's Allies

The Witchers

Other

Villains

Thoughts on pairings

Other blogs

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1 - Do not interact if:

You don't want to

2 - Pronouns

Yeah

3 - Currently

Playing: Gwent, Witcher 2 (Vernon run)

Reading: --

Watching: Witcher s2 (2021), Wiédzmin (2002)

4 - Previously

Played:

The Witcher

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt

Read:

The Last Wish / Le dernier voeu

Sword of Destiny / L'épée de la providence

1: Blood of Elves / 1: Le Sang des Elves

2: Time of Contempt

3: Baptism of Fire

4: Tower of the Swallow

5: Lady of the Lake

Season of Storms

Watched:

Netflix's Witcher s1 and s2

Nightmare of the Wolf

5 - My Fics (tumblr) (ao3):

stay (ao3) - geralt patches up dandelion

elixir (ao3) - geralt doesn't want jaskier to see him under his elixir's effects

soothed (ao3) - dandelion watches over wounded geralt

gift (ao3) - dandelion writes a song for geralt

warmth (ao3) - jaskier and geralt cuddle in brokilon

emotions (ao3) - the bard following geralt has questions about witchers' emotions

safety (ao3) - geralt comforts dandelion after a nightmare

grief (ao3) - dandelion watches geralt die

toussaint (ao3) - geralt confesses his feelings after dandelion decides to stay in toussaint

something familiar (ao3) - yennefer is on the run, and she's relieved to see someone she knows: jaskier

You may be thinking "cool, but are we on the same page in terms of opinions?"

6 - Thoughts on characters

7 - Main Characters

Geralt - Very attractive man. His personality is hard to pin down in the games since it's an RPG but in the books and shows it's obvious that while he pretends to be a super neutral, unemotional witcher, he's actually the totally compassionate hero type.

Yennefer - Super hot. A very grating character, however, though I love how distinct and defined her personality is.

Ciri - Possibly the coolest character in the franchise besides Regis. Princess. Victim. Outlaw. Witcher. Bisexual icon. She's so great and multi-faceted and strong, I adore her. Also very very in love with her Witcher 3 appearance. In the show, I think they captured her near-fearlessness and determination very well. She is exceptional.

Dandelion (aka Jaskier) - Real cutie. Usually, I describe him as Geralt's PR guy. Constantly in need of saving. Brings out the light-heartedness in Geralt. My favorite thing about him is how easy it was for him to actually recognize that Geralt is a person, not just a witcher. In the show, he seems to be super in love with Geralt. "Burn Butcher Burn" is a Taylor Swift–level breakup song. It just is.

8 - The Lodge

Triss Merigold - She was kind of nice in Blood of Elves, helping Ciri and all that, but her involvement with the Lodge of Sorceresses and also her repeated, embarrassing attempts at coming onto Geralt kind of ruined my opinion of her.

Phillipa Eilhart - This bitch! She's so presumptuous and rude and entitled. Jesus. Really the physical manifestation of every negative stereotype of sorceresses.

Francesca Findabair - A relatively tolerable sorceress. In the show: Cool, but more emotional than I expected her to be. And fucking brutal. Not a bad thing I guess. She'll be a good leader for the Scoi'atel.

Sheala de Tancarville

Fringilla Vigo

Margarita Laux-Antille

Keira Metz

Sabrina Glevissig

Assire var Anahid

9 - The Hansa

Regis - Regis, my beloved ❤️The vampire that captured my heart ❤️❤️❤️Extremely relieved he is not dead!!! Games are canon, you cannot convince me otherwise

Milva - Very cool, unparalleled badass, I would feel very safe with her around, physically but also emotionally because I feel like she's sarcastic but nice and very loyal.

Cahir - On the one hand, it's kind of creepy he's in love with Ciri. On the other hand, he really has grown on me and he's really talented and presumably hot and he becomes really committed to his hansa. His death hit me hard ☹️. In the show: Poorly cast but I'm interested to see where they go with his character.

Angoulême - Kind of annoying, kind of endearing.

10 - Ciri's Allies

Avallac'h - Probably the least terrible elf, like, the only one who wasn't a total bitch to Ciri, and it's kinda cute he was in love with Lara Dorren and Ciri looks kinda like Lara but he knows she's not. Like all Alder elves, a piece of shit, but less of a piece of shit than the rest of them.

Mistle - Really, really not the best start to a relationship with Ciri, but I'm glad they eventually had a good thing going.

The Rats - Yikes, but at least Ciri has friends and people to keep her safe(ish).

11 - The Witchers

Eskel - In the books: He's a total sweetheart and I love him. In the games: He's a total sweetheart and I love him. In the show: He's kind of a dick and he died too soon. He was Geralt's best childhood friend and they kill him off without building up his character first? Terrible writing.

Lambert - Always a dick but reliable, and I will always have fond memories of dressing up in Triss's clothes with him. He's a jerk to Ciri in the show and books, but he's kind of like an older brother - wants the best for her, but he's mean about it.

Coën - Love how he got along with Ciri :) He's also pretty cool in the show.

Vesemir - He had a good role as a father figure for the witchers. In the show, I don't think he would've tried to make more witchers - he was present for and helped assist the creation of new witchers and knew how awful it was, and I don't think he'd want to repeat it.

Other witchers from the show: Nice addition for the intended purposes (giving more of a community feel to Kaer Morhen, and it made the Witcher guild a little less sad). That final fight scene... They were kind of weak, for witchers, but I'll let it go because they're not Geralt.

12 - Honorable mentions of characters I like

Zoltan Chivay

Yarpen Zigrin

Calanthe

TV Tissaia de Vries

Mousesack/Ermion

13 - Thoughts on villains

Leo Bonhart - Truly, I hate him probably more than I hate Ramsay Bolton. I just wanted him to die but he was too damn powerful. Honestly, there was nothing more satisfying than his death.

Vilgefortz - Book Vilgefortz: What a fucking creep! Yikes!!!! TV Vilgefortz: What a hottie!!! Good god!!!!!

Emhyr var Emreis - Kind of surprised the man has a heart? Insanely creepy he planned to marry and impregnate his own daughter but I'm glad he finally let her go and married fake Cirilla instead and even was very considerate towards fake Cirilla at the end.

Eredin - Also a creep, like most villains, but he's kind of a distant villain so I just don't really have many thoughts on him.

Sigismund Djikstra - He's so smart, and so committed to his principles. I like him a lot, even though he works against the main characters sometimes. He's just a well-designed, distinct character overall.

14 - Thoughts on video game characters (Jan '22)

WIP

Iorveth (2) - Hot but homicidal. 👍

Vernon Roche (2,3) - Hot. 👍

Ves (2,3) - Hot. 👍

Saskia (2) - Good ideals but tried to kill me twice so not sure I can look past that 🤙

Letho (2) - Always what I imagined Bonhart to look like... Gross and evil. 👎

Berengar (1) - Whiny jerk. 👎

Alvin (1) - Geralt isn't ready for kids and also Alvin is annoying. 👎

Radovid V (1,2,3) - Yikes maybe stop killing people and being a genocidal piece of shit? 👎

Yaevinn (1) - Hot but not very helpful 👍

Thaler (1,2,3) - Funny guy, good at his job 👍

Siegfried of Denesle (1) - We're buddies ever since we killed a monster in the sewers of Vizima together. 👍

Shani (1,3) - Stop trying to marry Geralt and adopt children with him!! omg. Y'all work great as friends but he's just not that into you 👍

Skjall (3) - He tried 🤙

an Craites (Cerys, Crach, Hjalmar) (3) 🤙

Gaunter O'Dimm - Evil but an overall fun guy 👍

That one guy from the expansion - Evil but hot 👍

Priscilla - Good as Jaskier's homie 👍

Detlaff - Eventually evil but hot (yes, even in that form) 👍

14 - Thoughts on pairings

Geralt/Yennefer - It's destiny, right? Kinda cute how head-over-heels Geralt is for her, and how he fell in love so quickly. And then she fell so hard for him too. Also, both are so strong-willed that they have a pretty non-traditional dynamic and I think that's interesting.

Geralt/Jaskier(Dandelion) - Opposites attract. This one is my favorite. Cute as hell. Geralt is jaded and cynical except... he's fallen for this cheerful, upbeat bard. Jaskier is interested in fame and amusement and women except... he's fallen for this serious warrior who is shunned by society. If the series hadn't started thirty years ago, before the gay era, you know these two would've been fucking in canon.

Yennefer/Jaskier(Dandelion) - lol jk [Update Jan'22: I cannot believe I'm saying this but under the right circumstances, they are a great pairing. Good friendship (eventually). Good sex, presumably. But no romance.]

Geralt/Triss - I guess this was a thing in Witcher 1 and 2 but I don't really see the chemistry. And I don't like how pushy she was in Blood of Elves.

Geralt/Cahir - Enemies to lovers!!! Enemies to lovers!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciri/Anyone - Headcanon that Ciri is not romantically or sexually interested in anyone beyond occasional curiosity.

15 - Thoughts on Specific Stories

Netflix Show: I don't like a lot of the changes that were made - Jaskier and Geralt's relationship (though the conflict gives it greater narrative value), Yennefer's choice to sacrifice Ciri in s2 (though the choice gave her greater narrative value), etc. But I do think it is adapted pretty well for TV.

Books: My favorites probably (besides Witcher 3), though it was at times frustrating to hear about characters I didn't care about when I just wanted to hear about the ones who did interest me. Favorite parts: "A Little Sacrifice;" Geralt going to the sorcerer party in book 2; almost everything with the hansa, especially with Regis.

Games: Witcher 1 & 2 are good but frustrating to move around in because Geralt is slow and it is not completely open-world. Witcher 3 is one of my all-time favorite games, both the gameplay and the story, and I love the role-playing aspect to it and the details and how choices actually have consequences. The Blood and Wine is probably my favorite because Toussaint and Regis are great.

16 - Other blogs

@actualsoyboy - main blog

@audi-nos-bitch - supernatural blog

@my-hero-lemillion - bnha blog

@foxthefanboi - creation blog (gifs & fics)

“Bard.” Yennefer could barely believe it was him. Months after their last meeting, and he turned out to be none other than the Sandpiper. Yennefer never thought she’d be so relieved to see him.

Jaskier looked her over for a long moment. “Witch,” he said, disdain in his voice. “What are you doing here? And what fresh hell did you just crawl out of?”

“A sewer,” Yennefer responded. “What’s your excuse?”

“Ah, a sewer,” he said as she approached. “I always knew you were a bloodsucking, joyless…”

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. A warm sense of comfort spread through her at being with someone who, despite everything, she would call a friend. Finally, after weeks of pain and discomfort and being on the run, she was with a friend.

“…Hugger,” Jaskier finished. “We are hugging.”

Yennefer pulled back and looked into his confused, cornflower-blue eyes for a moment. She was so relieved to be near someone she knew after weeks of loneliness and despair, and without thinking, she leaned in and kissed him. He tensed for a moment and then relaxed into it, his hands resting on her waist. He tasted like beer, and he smelled like the smoke of the tavern and sweat and a little bit like dandelions.

Yennefer realized what she’d done and quickly pulled away. She tried to keep her face calm and collected, but what had she been thinking? Kissing him? Him ?

“Hold on,” he said after a short moment, their faces still close. “You hate me.”

“Yes,” she replied, and then she understood. “But I know you.”

She leaned in to kiss him again, but he held her back.

“Yennefer,” he said softly. “As delightful as you taste, you smell truly awful.”

She smiled just slightly. “I’ve been on the run for a while.”

He searched her eyes with his and then sighed. “All right. Let’s get you a bath.”

* * * * *

The bath felt amazing, and Yennefer leaned back to soak her hair in the warm water, which was turning gray from the filth of the sewer.

Jaskier sat nearby, close enough to talk to her, but with his back turned to give her some privacy. Polite, but she had no intention of keeping her body concealed from him once she was done with this bath.

“You know, I’ve heard some of your songs,” Yennefer said.

“Oh?”

“Sounds like you dedicated a good few verses to me.”

Jaskier cleared his throat. “Perhaps.”

“How did that one go? ‘Her heart, as though a jewel, adorned her neck. Hard as if of diamond made, and as a diamond so unfeeling, sharper than obsidian, cutting—’”

“I get the point,” Jaskier said, the tips of his ears turning red. “But don’t pretend we’ve ever been able to stand each other.”

She finished scrubbing herself clean. Jaskier passed her a towel over his shoulder as she climbed out of the tub, again politely averting his eyes. As if he’d ever done so before. She knew he was being unusually careful around her because of her situation as a poor, helpless quarter-elf, which would have annoyed her if she hadn’t been so relieved to feel clean and safe.

She dried herself off with the towel and wrapped it around herself, then went to stand in front of Jaskier. He swallowed and looked up at her eyes as she pulled him to his feet. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “So, I’m clean.”

“So?”

“So…” She tugged at the corner of the towel and it fell to the floor at her feet.

Finally, Jaskier’s eyes roamed over her bare form. Slowly and with a light touch, as if she was forbidden to him, the tips of his fingers trailed down her curves from her collarbone to her waist. She closed her eyes and let out a low, satisfied hum at the touch as his hand finally stopped to rest against her bare skin.

He looked back up at her face. “But Geralt…”

“Fuck Geralt,” she said. She pulled him close and pressed her lips to his, trying not to be too desperate though she really was. She wanted comfort, she wanted pleasure, she wanted something familiar, before she lost it by getting captured or killed or exiled to a land she barely knew.

“Yennefer, wait,” Jaskier says again, breathless but insistent. “I love—loved—Geralt too.”

She hesitated, surprised. She shouldn’t have been, the way Jaskier followed around the witcher like an adoring puppy. The way he so patiently took care of Geralt when they traveled together. The way that, only an hour before, he had sung bitterly about Geralt with heartbreak in his voice. But she was only surprised for a moment.

“Fuck Geralt,” she said again. “He’s not here. I am.”

Finally, Jaskier nodded and acquiesced, picking her up. Her bare legs wrapped around his hips as he walked her back towards the bed, their lips never leaving each other's.

He grinned as he laid her down on the bed and started to pull off his clothes. “I never would’ve dreamed I’d want to do this with you, witch.”

“Nor I with you, bard,” she said, kissing him again before he got a chance to respond.

* * * * *

They got dressed immediately afterward. Jaskier had Sandpiper work to do, and Yennefer needed to get to Cintra; it wasn’t safe for her in Oxenfurt, especially not outside of the safe cellars where the elves were hidden.

“I hope you know this was just a one-time thing,” Jaskier said, pulling on his pants. He was unexpectedly muscular, with thick hair covering his toned chest. And now he also had messy hair and fingernail scratches down his back, which was a look that, for once, Yennefer thought suited him rather than being an annoying indicator of his womanizing personality.

“I hope you know this was just a one-time thing,” Yennefer replied. She knew it would be, even though it had felt so good. She hated to admit there was some truth in the rumors about the poet’s love-making capabilities.

“I still don’t like you, you know,” Jaskier said.

“The feeling is mutual.”

He smiled at her lightly, and then his face became serious. “I’ll make sure you get to Cintra safely, Yennefer.”

Yennefer clenched her jaw, irritated again that she was again being reminded of how helpless she was. That she had to be helped by none other than this sing-songy twit. But she plastered on an expression of gratitude. “Thank you.”

Jaskier cleared his throat. “Come on, let’s go. We don’t have much time to prepare for the next ship.”

“Dandelion, we need to talk,” Geralt says to the bard. Dandelion is perched on a divan, strumming chords his lute, in a room filled with a dozen sycophantic nobles. Dandelion’s only a viscount, but his relationship with the Duchess has made him a popular individual in Toussaint.

Dandelion sets down his lute and stands up. “Good timing. I need to talk to you too.” He glances around the room and then claps several times to get the attention of the others. “Leave, please.”

The others in the room politely file out. Dandelion turns his full attention to Geralt and smiles. “So?”

“We’re leaving Toussaint,” Geralt says. “Finally.”

Dandelion’s smile falters. “Oh. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been getting restless.”

“And? What did you have to tell me?”

Dandelion hesitates for a moment. “Anarietta has offered me a permanent position at court as a ducal consort. I accepted.”

Geralt lets out an incredulous huff of laughter. “You can’t be serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You? Settling down with one person?”

“Why is that so hard to believe? I love her. I’m willing to make the commitment, for her.”

Geralt feels a wave of jealousy at Dandelion’s words. “I know you, Dandelion. It won’t last.”

“She’s different.”

“Even if she were, as soon as she gets bored of you, or as soon as you step even an inch out of line, she’ll throw you out, make a spectacle of it. Your favor with her is unsteady at best.”

“She loves me! It’s not just a tryst, Geralt, this is real! I know you’re cynical, but can’t you just be happy for me?”

“No,” Geralt snaps. “If I thought this was the best decision, I would. But it’s not.”

“And why not?”

“Because I love you,” Geralt says, surprising even himself. He’d considered it before, thought maybe he’d felt something more for his friend. But faced with the thought of losing Dandelion, he knows it’s true.

Dandelion’s eyes are wide, his mouth open just slightly in shock.

Geralt takes a deep breath. He’s committed now. “She’s not the one for you, Dandelion. I am.”

Dandelion stares for a moment before gritting his teeth and turning away. “Two years, Geralt. I told you two years ago how I felt.”

“I know.”

Dandelion turns back to Geralt and meets his eyes firmly. “You told me I was your best friend, but only a friend.”

“I know.”

“I spent two years struggling to get over you. Two years, sleeping around, trying to find someone who made me feel even close to a fraction of what I felt for you.”

“I…” Geralt hadn’t known that. He’d figured Dandelion had moved on quickly, the way he did from every failed relationship.

“And now that I’m happy. Now that I’ve found someone I love, and who loves me back, who I’m ready to settle down with, now you tell me you love me?”

“I didn’t know,” Geralt says, and his defense feels weak.

“It’s too late,” Dandelion says. “You’re too late.”

“I need you.”