💩Merp💩

A quick fall path!

The Tumblr portion of the Steven universe fandom has always been really obsessed with the idea that Lars was transgender. I can’t say I agree with it, but I get it. It’s what Tumblr does and you can’t blame a stigmatized group for believing their most supportive, accepting cartoon on television will have some kind of trans representation. I’m not doubting that they would either.

What bothers me is that the community fixates so much on Lars (honestly, why would anyone want him as their representative) when there are so many better examples. The male-coded rubies and their female pronouns, amethyst’s discomfort in her own form and her favorite male alter-ego the purple puma, etc. But probably the straightest case has been staring us in the face this whole time.

Are we just going to forget that this happened? Yes, Steven had promised a special act to the crowd, and yes, he needed to fill in Sadie’s place to avoid disappointing them, but there was no need for him to dress in drag, complete with makeup. 

Also, is it not strange how well it fits him? I don’t just mean that it has the right size and proportions, or that he’s able to walk dance effortlessly in high heels, but look closely at those pumps for a second. Zoom in in you need to. Here, I’ll make it easy for you

Look familiar?

That’s a rose bud! Rose’s Symbol! THOSE ARE HIS HIGH HEELS!

Of course, none of this should be weird considering how much a part of him Rose’s gem and spirit are. Hell, considering how unified they are, Steven is basically just her soul occupying a fleshy boy body (let me never write that three word sentence ever again). In other words:

Steven is literally a woman trapped in a boy’s body!

Okay, by now I imagine a lot of the tumblr fandom is already on board, but many more of you are probably looking for more evidence. How about the times Steven has actually taken a female form?

Yeah, I know, Stevonnie is supposed to be of ambiguous sex. I get that, but it’s clear they’re not an even mix. Between Rose, Steven and Connie they’re anywhere between 66.67% and 75% female. Their features are feminine and they’re voiced by a woman, so it seems pretty clear that Stevonnie is leaning heavily on one side of the scale, and how do they react

First with panic. Connie’s panic.

Connie has no idea if she’s stuck like this. What will she tell her parents? Steven wouldn’t have a problem with this, considering he wanted to be able to fuse, and his first reaction was to show the gems. When their fear subsides (in a matter of seconds, by the way) this is the kind of reaction we get out of Stevonnie

Running around with glee, cartwheeling and tripping over rocks. This is way too uninhibited to be Connie’s expression of excitement. A major part of the episode was about her being too embarrassed to dance around in public! This has to be Steven, but even then he’s never reacted this much to a new power, before or after this event. This means more to Steven than just getting a new power. He is excited to be a woman.

It’s not like I’m just pulling that claim out of my ass. He said it outright in Giant Woman (Both the episode and the song)

All I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman, A giant woman! All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman.

All I wanna do is help you turn into a giant woman, A giant woman! All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman.

Oh I know it’ll be great and I just can’t wait to see the person you are together. If you give it a chance you can do a huge dance because you are a giant woman. You might even like being together and if you don’t it won’t be forever.

It’s stated in the books that tuition to Hogwarts is “free for all children in Britain”. I don’t know why they thought it wouldn’t be - it’s a British high school, not a college. So there, you just saved yourself $42,024.

In Chamber of Secrets, Mrs. Weasley emptied her entire bank account which contained only two galleons [£10 / US$20] and she managed to buy all five children’s entire set of books and potion ingredients with this, as well as Ginny’s robes, hat, clock, cauldron, and wand!!! And we know she bought all of these as she mentioned having to buy them. The fact that she bought all of these with only £10 pretty much proves how absolutely ridiculous CNNs estimation is.

If you want more proof, the actual cost of Harry’s want is far over estimated here, and the exact price in both pounds as US dollars can easily be found right within the books! Harry’s wand is bought for seven galleons, a galleon being worth about five pounds [mentioned by JK Rowling in an interview and in FBAWTFT/QTTA] means that his wand was £35, or US$53. So there’s some straight-out-of-the-books-and-word-of-god proof that the figures CNN have given are way off the mark. Not to mention the fact that even if you don’t go to Hogwarts, as a magical human you’re gonna have to buy a wand anyway if you want to do magic.

As for the school books, I’ve done an approximation based on various prices given through-out the books and on Pottermore. While these prices involve a substantial amount of guess-work, I think you’ll agree that my calculation is far more accurate than CNNs:

The Standard book of Spells costs one sickle [29p / US59c]. On the back of my comic relief copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them it says it costs fourteen sickles [£4.60 / US$8.26]. One Pottermore, all text books are one galleon [£4.97  / US$10.17] - however Pottermore currency only uses galleons so it’s likely they have rounded off. Lockhart’s books, the most expensive in the series, are five galleons on Pottermore meaning that the exchange rate in the books puts them around two galleons and fourteen sickles [£14.60 / US$20.80]. If we put a high average on this and assume that all textbooks are approximately a galleon [they are likely much less], and that each year has around seven required reading books, the entire price for seven years worth of books would be forty-nine galleons, which equals approximately £243, or US$367 - and remember, this is the maximum estimated price for the textbooks.

For the minimum, we need to consider that the Weasleys get a lot of things second hand, with Ginny’s copy of A Begginers Guide To Transfiguration being described as “a very old, very battered copy” - likely no more than five sickles. If they got all their books around that price, it would cost them no more than £14 / US$21 for the entire seven years worth! So school books, far from being US$516, fall somewhere between US$14 and US$367 for the entire seven years at Hogwarts.

Next we have robe, glove, cloak, and hat prices - these are never mentioned in the books or on Pottermore, so I can’t account for that. However I seriously doubt it’s as a high as they’ve got here. Considering books in the wizarding world are generally much cheaper than in the muggle world, I think it’s fairly safe to assume that clothing is as well. Likely a maximum of a galleon for a single set of robes.

They’ve also forgotten a huge number of things - cauldrons, potion ingredients, scales, and star charts, among others.