A Fragile Heart

If you could see what I see, you wouldn't be saying that now... {Her chest seemed to have an unliftable weight on top of it as her chest heaved a little.} There is good in you, Castello. {She whispered, their pained expressions meeting.} I saw it in you the moment I met you. I wish you could see that.

{When he said guy or girl, she felt her stomach drop. Her feelings had always been something she was uncomfortable with, and Cas saying it out loud actually made her feel a little better about it. He wasn't running away, he didn't think she was a freak. It was nice.}

{A heavy silence filled the air, the feeling of his lips on her cheek like a ghost.} I have to go... {She whispered, her voice shaking.} I-I need to get back to work. {She hopped down from the counter, her knees feeling a little shaky as she walked toward him.} Don't let your life pass you by because this is the way you think it's supposed to be, Cas.

Why do stars fall down from the sky, ev'ry time you walk by?

Those best parts are still there, though, {She whispered, her fingertips lightly brushing his jawline. Her heart felt very heavy.} We all make mistakes, Cas... some of them haunt us forever... but I don't think they should define us. You learn from them and then try to let them go. What defines us is what we choose to do after the mistake. And you chose to come back for Sherri and your daughter. Natalie is a precious gift - your precious gift. Yours and Sherri's. The boys are too. Children are something to be treasured, no matter what. {There was a flash of pain in her eyes.} I completely understand. {He was being so selfless. She wanted to tell him that he had a life too, that they could be together, even if just for a few minutes a day at lunch, or on the nights that Sherri had Nat, but she didn't. It was selfish of her to want him.} I... {She trailed off. She didn't know what else to say. There seemed to be so many things left unsaid, so many unanswered questions hanging in the thick air around them.}

{Gwen looked down and nodded before glancing back up again with a sad smile. Her heart ached for him.} You're right, it's not fair... to either of us. We've both been burned before. {She nudged him and smiled, but there was a truthful haunting behind her green eyes. An understanding.} So. {She clapped her hands together, withdrawing them from his grasp.} Until you figure it all out, and you will, Cas - it just takes a little time and patient... Until you figure it all out, I'll be here. As your friend. Aaand, you can come over at any time, day or night. And we can stay up late and eat cookie dough - I always burn them so I never finish them up - and we can pet Zorro and you can talk my head off about all your responsibilities and I'll help you figure it all out. And I'll just blab about my totally privileged and uncomplicated Soc life and you can take a nap next to me. And we can read Penny Lane articles about our alleged relationship and watch people stare at us while they try and figure it out and totally laugh in their faces. And we can go to the drive-in and watch those stupid movies and listen to people having sex in their cars, and I can study my medical books while you read your novels, and it will all be a total gas. Yeah? {She kissed his cheek, warmth exuding from her very bones.}