fuck it, we bawl

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

just saw a chair so photogenic I had to reevaluate my feelings towards plastic furniture

i like when both people in a relationship are scared of it

even better when they are not in a relationship but you can't exactly say they are not not in a relationship

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

i appear to have infected 14k people with the phrase "sniling so sneetly". it makes me grin. snile, even. perhaps sneetly

did you know avoidance only makes all of your problems worse. no one has ever discovered this before

I've suspected this for a long time but I usually try not to think about it

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

"i could fix him" please don't it took a lot of work to fuck him up this bad