you can call me a lady

*in the baseball field*

laurent: i am laurent. and this is victoria, and james.

james: Hi Sisters!

james: *smells bella*

james: you’ve brought a Sister Snack

*in phoenix*

bella: hey, mom, i’m glad you got my message. what’re you doing home?

renée: bella!? bella!? bella, where are you!? bella!?

bella: calm down, everything’s fine. i’ll explain everything later—mom, are you there?

james: forks high school doesn’t protect its Sister Students’ privacy very well. it was easy The House for victoria to find your previous address. it’s a nice house you have here. Love That! i was prepared to wait for you, but then Mom came home after she received a very worried call from your dad, and it all worked out The House.

bella: don’t touch her! don’t—

james: you can still Sister Save her. but you’re going to have to get away from your Sister Squad. can you handle that?

bella: where should i meet you?

james: how about your old ballet studio? and i’ll know if you bring anyone along. poor mommy will pay the price for that Sister Slip-Up

*in the ballet studio*

bella: she’s not even here

james: no. Sister Sorry. you know, you really made it easy The House

james: you’re alone, because you’re faster than the others. but not Sister Stronger!

james: *bites bella*

james: Sister Scrumptious!

edward: *rips james’ throat out*

james: *gargling* Uh Oh Sisters!

⋄☽ Destruction of Life ☾⋄

the butch man 🐍

These are hilarious! NGL major preference for adults here. Other adult bonuses:

Don’t need naps

Can go on hikes for longer

Can be left alone for longer

Less fragile

Teeth don’t randomly fall out

Majority of teenage hormonal bullshit is over

Surprise fear periods done with

Please don’t look the other way!

This time of year, open all the plastic bags, insulated cardboard boxes met. When you see on the road a bag with the impression that it contains something, don’t ride on it but stop by to check the content. Open your ears and eyes on the edge of the ditches, waste, collective garbage, whether in town or in the countryside.

[ALERT] THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST MESSAGE [ALERT] THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST MESSAGE ALL CITIZENS ARE ADVISED TO REMAIN INDOORS AND LOCK ALL ENTRANCES AND EXITS DO NOT LOOK OUTSIDE, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOMES IT IS ADVISED THAT YOU ARM YOURSELF, AND MAKE LITTLE NOISE THEY CAN HEAR YOU BREATHE, THEY CAN HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT THEY K̷̫N̸͎O̦̖̬̻W̮̫̣͓̹ ̘͇W̝͙̩̭͔̱͙Ḩ̣̹̤̱̟A̤̘̩̺̭̻̜T͎͠ ͚̬ Y̵̋ͬ͛ͯ҉̩Ơ̶̰̭͚̤̘̩̱̟̎ͮ̀̂ͮ̕U͚̞͕̠̜̭͛̕'̷̧̝͇̞͚̮̞̗͆̆ͣ̃ͧV͉̯̯̫̖ͩ͑͗̾̍̚E̴̡͙̯̫̭̟̺̱̰ͭ̇̑͑̾ͫͪ͝ ̋̓̎ͥ̚҉̖̥͕́D̨̠͓̯̩̰ͫ͋͐͗Ȯ̸͍̻ͯN̨̗̗̟̲̞̳̅̌̈Ë͈͔̞̞͓̖͙́͊̑͛,̗̄ͫͫ̈ ̶̧̝̥͚̰̹͇̺͊̀̊ͪA̶̓̉͐ͣ͐̑ͥ̓̚҉̦̜͉͈̭͉I̧̨̥̫͚͖̣͈ͯ̈̋ͧ̽ͅD̡͑̈́̑̋͊̈́̚҉͙͕̻̠̣̩̪̲͜A̵͔̺̙̮̳̟̺ͪ̐ͫ̇͌ͨ͘N̸̠͎̖̖̈́ͥ͋̅ [ALERT] THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST MESSAGE [ALERT] THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST MESSAGE

Silent Hill from the perspective of a person who’s never played a Silent Hill game.

But if anyone in upstate New York is looking for a sweet, amazing, cuddly, sensitive cat, please consider Garfield!

Garfield is an amazing cat! He’ll jump right up into your lap and purrs so loudly. He also adores belly rubs!

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have stellar mental health… This year has been rough for him. He was adopted from and dropped back off at the shelter twice in a 6 week time span. After settling back in after weeks of hiding and being aggressive, the shelter shut down for 3 months due to a fungal outbreak amongst the cats. He also hates other cats and being surrounded by 40+ other cats has been way too stressful and overwhelming for him. He has to be on Prozac, an antidepressant, to calm down, and he pulls his own hair out. The poor boy is so upset he’s self harming.

He truly doesn’t deserve all that’s happening to him. If you’d like a sweet, harmless, cuddly cat, please consider adopting Garfield. He’s absolutely gorgeous. His reddish-orange fur is stunning and he has the most strangely adorable alien eyes. If you can’t adopt him, any attention this post gets will make him just as happy. ❤

((If you’re wondering: yes, this is the second time I posted this. I edited the original and suddenly every note vanished, probably because I changed my @ beforehand. It’s really frustrating and heartbreaking that all the attention he got disappeared, but I owe it to this sweetheart to try again.))