Guns&Love (Compass&Anchor)

You know what scene from the Cut and Run series I can’t stop thinking about?

That scene in crash and burn when the group was being marched into the holding tank, and Zane pretended to turn against everyone. And Ty, for a moment, was also fooled.

Of course, it was an amazing ploy. It did the trick, helped them escape.

But Ty, the man who knew Zane better than anyone, who loved and would kill just about anyone to protect the man, was fooled by Zane.

Here’s a little snippet as a reminder:

And here’s the thing: Beaumont Tyler Grady is not stupid. Not. Even. Close. He was an FBI profiler, for God’s sake. An assassin, at one point. Force Recon. The best of the best, the deadliest, one of the greatest weapons one could possess. And the one person Ty knows better than maybe even himself is also the one who tricks him.

At first, I thought the fact that Zane managed to trick Ty was unrealistic; that it was just a “dramatic flare” to the finale.

And then I thought a little deeper, and by God Abigail Roux did it again: it makes so much fucking sense.

Hear me out. Throughout the series, we learn more and more about Ty and Zane. We think we know everything, and yet by the time of Touch and Geaux, we realize we barely know the half of it.

Example: Ty and Zane had met years before in New Orleans, and neither knew. We sure as hell didn’t. By T&G, Ty was still a marine. Ty was an assassin. Ty’s assignment was Zane.

Which begs the question: how much of a threat was Zane to warrant Burns assigning Ty to watch him?

Yes, Burns was corrupt, as we find out later. But the fact remains that Burns did still suspect Zane to also be corrupt. Why?

Zane was an actor. A shapeshifter, if you will. He wore so many masks, even he himself began to forget who he truly was. He went by different names, different identities. Xander. Drug lord.

You don’t survive the type of life Zane went through in Miami without lying, without acting, without killing. Ty has demons, and so does Zane. The problem for them is that those demons are trapped within themselves, and fighting each other’s.

As much as they learn each other, there will still always be secrets. Classified information. Unpeakable truths. They are good men, and they are learning to live the best way they can. But let’s be honest, they weren’t always this way, and old habits die very damn hard.

So I’m thinking about this scene in the holding tank where everything is coming to a climax. The gang is locked up, trying to accept the fact they’ll all be executed, and Zane Garrett, their friend, their partner, their own family seemingly turns against them. Zane shoots them. And their hearts, along with Ty’s, along with mine, break.

Because even after NINE books, nine stories of this glorious man learning to heal and learning to better himself—there is still suspicion. There is still uncertainty. There is still doubt.

And that’s why I love Abi. That’s why I love the C&R series: the pure, unfiltered, realism. Because life doesn’t meet a problem and never encounter it again. Life meets a problem and that problem becomes part of life.

Zane Garrett has demons. Zane Garrett has done horrible things. It’s noble of him to try to right his wrongs, to be a better man for himself and for his family. But the reality is that his past won’t go away so easily. Even his best friend, his lover, his husband wasn’t certain about him after all those years.

And that’s what makes their love beautiful. Because they don’t always know. Instead of harsh certainty, they have incredible faith. Faith that, even in the face of the unknown, they trust that they will get through it. They will survive. They will heal. They will grow.

Ty was fooled, and that’s okay. The reality is that we can’t know everything about a person, even as much as we want to. The important thing is that we do our best to try and right the mistakes we make, to learn to let go when necessary, and even learn to trust again when possible.