wick from objectified's #1 fan

I’m so fucking sad dude like I’m not even host anymore so I should be okay with not having to deal with any of this but got fucking damnit I don’t know why but sometimes I miss them even though they were the one who hurt me even if wasn’t on purpose like why did you do that I only know what I did wrong and that hurts like hell

like I know it’s been months, we’ve switched hosts and moved on, but I haven’t moved on. sure I can accept that they aren’t in my life anymore but god damn it I just want to onow if it’s my fault but I’m too scared to reach out and ask because I don’t wanna seem weird but it’s been eating at my mind and it makes me spiral no your explanation wasn’t good enough. maybe for someone else it would have been but for me it wasn’t.

not even the first time this has happened either. not with this person in particular but like the whole “ghost then shitty explanation” At fucking least I had an idea of what happened to my best friend and his situation. but with this it’s like you just straight up vanished. I don’t think you understand how much you hurt me. that long, agonizing week of me feeling horrible, thinking I did something because you wouldn’t talk to me, only to practically punch me in the face through the screen with some bullshit that you could’ve explained right off the bat. im not mad that you left me. Im pissed that you took so long to explain. I know some things are uncontrollable, but you left me in the dust and played it off like it was nothing. And then you posted some UTTER BULLSHIT about it being “messy.”???????? MESSY????? IT WASNT MESSY??? The only “messy” thing was how much I cried that night and wanted to fucking Kill myself because I was so confused and scared.

Whoever the hell is your host now, if that is even the truth of what happened, you made me feel horrible. I don’t care if he was dormant suddenly, YOU could’ve explained. YOU could’ve said ANYTHING. But you didn’t until MY cohost called you out on your bullshit God I know I’ve been vague but FUCKING HELL. I miss you man. I miss you. YOU. not anyone else. Just you. I just wish I could’ve said bye properly. you were the best. so kind, so amazing. made me feel like myself again. until that stupid fucking week. worst week of my life. one year of my life down the drain, and I’m still wishing for an explanation. a real one that I’m never gonna get. I feel like a fool. Stupid and hopeless. And I think I’m gonna feel like that forever, because of the lack of closure.

(^ changed this part to keep to vauge because it isn’t his fault this happened idont think and don’t want him to be outed like this if he somehow sees this)