I'll keep you my dirty little secret

1) “Do you know what an infected wisdom tooth can lead to? Blood poisoning, encephalitis, endocarditis, calcification of the molar leading to cancer years down the line. Not to mention the lack of eating and drinking to avoid the pain isn’t good!”

2) Roger rolls his eyes and pulls him in into the once-office-now-nurses-station

3) “And you call me a romantic.” Brian says, completely taken aback by his friend’s rant. “That’s the sappiest thing i’ve ever heard you say. Mr ‘Won’t sing happy at home cos i’m a fucking Rock Star’”.

4) “Hm, but unlike you darling, I age like a fine wine. You on the other hand are like bread, gone all mouldy around the edges and falling apart.”

5) “Well, it’s nice to see you too, Rog…” Brian said, smiling quite amicably considering the situation.

6) “Fine. But just remember this, if he gets a girlfriend and he wants to have sex all the time with her, I’ll be making him agree to a set time and day as well!”

“See, that’s what I like about you, Rog, dear, your sense of fairness.”

7) Roger should have known he was being lulled into a false sense of security. “I’m not moping,” he said, full in the knowledge his tone of voice betrayed him.

8) Roger: Who really spilt beer on my stripey jacket? Freddie: Me. OH fuck. Shit. Oh you arsehole

9) “That’s odd,” Brian said, and frowned at the sound, “That’s not one of my ringtones.”

10) “I think… that was a long time coming, don’t you?”

11)  “Look I’m sure you’re, er, great at what you do-” “I’ve had no complaints” Roger said rather smugly. He winked at him. The bastard.

12) Freddie held him at arm’s length and looked him right in the eyes. “You are one of my very dear friends, Deaky, and I will fuss over you if I think you need fussing over.”

13) Brian laughs awkwardly, “Er. No.  Not really. I mean not right now. Not exactly. no. No. I don’t fancy anyone male right now.” “I’m hearing a yes in all of that rambling.”

14)  “Roger, I’m probably going to regret this.” Brian said, already regretting it, “But can we get back to your original point, please? What are you on about?”

15) “Shame, I wanted to know what Chucky egg was.” Ruth’s face brightened up. “It’s mashed up boiled egg! It’s a scottish and northern term” she said smiling, “I used to make it all the time for this one here, when he wasn’t well.” She turned to Brian, “You’re probably fed up with it.”

16)  Roger kept one arm around Brian as he guided him through the double doors of the building. “She was very frosty with me when I spoke to her before. She must have a soft spot for you.”

17) John looked at him carefully. “ … As in musical writing partner? The McCartney to your Lennon?”

18) “Oh fuckking hell, just stop drinking it Freddie.” Brian dragged a hand up and down his face and looked at Freddie, exhausted and upset. “What have I done to it?”

19) “On second thoughts,” John said, trying to cut oncoming argument. “Do we have monopoly?” “NO!” Brian exclaimed, sounding horrified at the question more than in answer to it. “Oh god no, not monopoly.”

20) Roger: … Brian, I’m going to go. There’s a FREDDIE IT’S ON FIRE. Shit Bye Bri. Brian: … Bye Roger.

21) “Oh! Where’s Jules and George?” Roger said, gesturing to the empty corner of the bed.

“Ah. Up there.” Brian replied, pointing to the bookshelf.

22)  Roger: What happened to the tribbles? Dr Aug: that’s my queue to let you sleep.

23) “Right. Relax my knees… Are your knees relaxed?” ”I don’t know what my knees are doing.”

24) “I was horrified for a moment. I thought she really had adopted a tiger.”

25) “Did you want me for something or is my name just funny today?”

26) “No. No. I mean. Its not that. It’s just… Yes, I'm… you know…” Brian waves his hand around in a vague gesture, from around the room to the bar they’re sat at, but fails come up with what exactly it is that he is.

“An auditor for the tetley company?” Ewan asks, laughing, though not unkindly.

27) "Did you tell the inferior one to fuck off again?"