GuestRelated

Dear Valued Guest,

While most hotels, especially chains like this one, DO competitively price-match, there is a bare-minimum rate that I do not have the authority nor ability to set your reservation below (which just so happens to be $60.) Even my manager can’t alter the price beyond that without asking Corporate’s permission first, which they almost never actually grant for us barring a few extraordinary circumstances (which this most certainly IS NOT.)

If you want your $50 room, I suggest you go ahead and book directly through the site you mentioned. But before you come down to my desk and make ridiculous demands, you could at least have the decency to verify that this is in fact the correct hotel instead of pulling up the name of a cheaper sister-property and trying to fuck me like a bitch.

My name is NOT Marcellus Wallace.

Me: (loud and clear enough) Front desk?

Guest: Uh, hi.. Is this the front desk?

Hi everyone. Thank you for continuing to read us through the years. We appreciate it. If you’re looking for even more reasons to cringe, buy our book that comes out tomorrow. It’s full of games, essays, stories, photos and illustrations about the terrors that are hotel guests. 

http://www.amazon.com/How-May-Hate-You-Concierge/dp/055344834X/

And if you’re in New York? Come party with us tomorrow night at our official book release party! It’s totally free and you can meet us in person. 

I’m all like….

Guest: “I didn’t think animals were permitted in the hotel.”

Me: “Service animals are.”

Guest: “It doesn’t look like a service animal to me.”