god complex

a collection of wild things my friends and myself have said. tw: drugs, alcohol, and some nsfw.

‘ you got drunk and ate a discount bag of extra powdered doughnuts. it happens. ’

‘ i chugged half a bottle of cough medicine today. ’

‘ we’re worried wieners. ’

‘ is that my effing pop-tart? ’

‘ i drank three mountain dews while you were gone. ’

‘ i’m pretty sure i caught a pneumonia. ’

‘ my brain feels like mush. like, the mush white people feed you at holiday dinners. ’

‘ sex in the pantry. that’s…ew, gross. ’

‘ i will murder you in spanish. ’

‘ you’re the milk to my shake. the sun to my shine. ’

‘ i’m gonna turn around and pretend i’m invisible. ’

‘ she meant to say bond but she said bondage instead. ’

‘ the nurse gave me some metamorphosis and i forgot about the pain. ’

‘ taste the rainbooow. ’

‘ HIDE THE WEED. HIDE IT RIGHT NOW. ’

‘ you have to stop moshing in my backyard. the neighbors think you’re possessed. ’

‘ eat your cereal like a fucking adult. ’

‘ wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey, asshole. ’

‘ i mailed a letter to jedi master yoda when i was seven. he never replied. ’

‘ a pepsi bottle can make a decent weapon, if you respect its power. ’

‘ i thought he was handing out drugs, but it was only breath mints. ’

‘ your eye is twitching like crazy and it’s freaking me the fuck out. ’

‘ i hope i didn’t break anything important. you know, like a nail. ’

‘ the mailman hugged me this morning. ’

‘ my favorite horror story is watership down. ’

‘ fuck your hair and fuck your leopard prints. ’

‘ get away from my blanket burrito or you die. ’

‘ tourists give me heartburn. ’

SO I’VE GOT A COUPLE OF HOUSE CLEANING TO DO HERE.   first off   ,   i’ve only got a handful of commissions from the past couple months left to finish   ,   which i will be completing this week.   if you’re interested in having something commissioned   ,   i have 50 open slots available.   just shoot me a message for more information.   on top of that   ,   i’lll be updating my theme   ,   pages   ,   &   google docs over the next few days to give this blog a fresh new look   &   to clear out any outdated information.

while i’m doing all of that   ,   I’LL BE DOING A FLASH WINTER SALE.   the sale will be open thru friday 2/26   &   will be available via pa.ypal   &   cas.happ.   after the sale   ,   there are a couple older templates   &   psds i’m going to retire as i work to release new ones   ,   so get them while they’re still available.   im me if you’re interested to purchase.

buy 1 psd for $5 usd   ,   get 1 free.

buy 1 template for $5 usd   ,   get 1 free.

psd combo   ———   get all 25 premium psds for $15 usd   (   88% off   ).

template combo   ———   get all 35 premium templates for $25 usd   (   86% off   ).

♡♡♡   GVRPH FREE RESOURCES   ———   TRAVEL HOPEFULLY   !

♡♡♡   google doc template made with single muse blogs in mind.   template includes a statistics outline developed by me for over the years.

♡♡♡   to use   ,   open the doc    ,   go to file   ,    &   select make a copy.   to change the bg color of the doc    ,    go to file   &    select page setup.   fonts used are abril fatface   &   times new roman.

♡♡♡   please replace the images with your own or delete mine from the document entirely.   image sizes are a guideline   &   resizing may need to be done once added to the document.

♡♡♡   don’t resell   /   pass off as your own.   do not use in commissions.

♡♡♡   credit is MANDATORY.   please include it somewhere in your credits section.

♡♡♡   template is free.

♡♡♡   to get document link   ,   REBLOG this post   &   message me via the IMS.