a collection of wild things my friends and myself have said. tw: drugs, alcohol, and some nsfw.
‘ you got drunk and ate a discount bag of extra powdered doughnuts. it happens. ’
‘ i chugged half a bottle of cough medicine today. ’
‘ we’re worried wieners. ’
‘ is that my effing pop-tart? ’
‘ i drank three mountain dews while you were gone. ’
‘ i’m pretty sure i caught a pneumonia. ’
‘ my brain feels like mush. like, the mush white people feed you at holiday dinners. ’
‘ sex in the pantry. that’s…ew, gross. ’
‘ i will murder you in spanish. ’
‘ you’re the milk to my shake. the sun to my shine. ’
‘ i’m gonna turn around and pretend i’m invisible. ’
‘ she meant to say bond but she said bondage instead. ’
‘ the nurse gave me some metamorphosis and i forgot about the pain. ’
‘ HIDE THE WEED. HIDE IT RIGHT NOW. ’
‘ you have to stop moshing in my backyard. the neighbors think you’re possessed. ’
‘ eat your cereal like a fucking adult. ’
‘ wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey, asshole. ’
‘ i mailed a letter to jedi master yoda when i was seven. he never replied. ’
‘ a pepsi bottle can make a decent weapon, if you respect its power. ’
‘ i thought he was handing out drugs, but it was only breath mints. ’
‘ your eye is twitching like crazy and it’s freaking me the fuck out. ’
‘ i hope i didn’t break anything important. you know, like a nail. ’
‘ the mailman hugged me this morning. ’
‘ my favorite horror story is watership down. ’
‘ fuck your hair and fuck your leopard prints. ’
‘ get away from my blanket burrito or you die. ’
‘ tourists give me heartburn. ’
‘ that spider had a family, you monster. ’
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
andulkaphoto
2087
vaporwave
