I saw a post about 'bad' others and it got me thinking about myself and an other of mine named Vetis. I don't know where to start on formulating my thoughts into words but I'll try.
When younger, around age seventeen or so (2007), my traumatic years had come to a close only two years prior so I was still a big mess. I was self-harming in any way I could but mainly cutting all over my body. From what I gather from those days, Vetis wasn't a pleasant other in any manner. (Bare in mind I'm aware that we're all the same person but different states as such.) He wouldn't be cruel to my friends but would be snarky and sly, pushy at times, but never harmful. But he was bad to myself and would go beyond my usual SH levels and land me needing stitches on four occasions with further medical attention elsewhere.
Now, again, I'm aware Vetis is me, I am him etc. in many ways. I just got thinking that there can be 'bad' others in a sense but not stereotypically as such. I mean, stereotypes can happen as anything can happen with anybody and their others and some people are just plain old evil people. But I wouldn't call Vetis bad or evil. He, like the rest of my others, and myself included, were all going through a very horrible and unstable time. Prior to 2007, I have no memory of how my mental health manifested other than me being heavily depressed and dissociative, knowing of 'Kane' (aka KJ), else I may weigh on those years a bit more in this post. I only found out that Vetis exists in 2006.
Vetis had a conversation with a friend about five or so years so and admitted a lot to them, having read the chatlogs back then. He did admit he used to do bad things for whatever reason I never found out, but had changed for the better over the years. To add, there were times from 2009 onwards where there was some dormancy for months on end, to even a year or just over (I think), even though I was going through just as bad times as the 'more traumatic' years; I had another traumatic event in mid-2009 but was able to separate my mind from it as such (again, I think.) I also denied I had this disorder and kept it to myself for the most part, especially when taking seroquel that put up a strong barrier between myself and the others or whatever. So, as a thing, I have no idea what went on during those days with the others, but something changed at least and Vetis is (seemingly) not as bad anymore, if 'reformed'? Time will tell.
I quit SH in 2017 and haven't had any slipups since, though often think about it. When I've changed to an other, nobody has hurt me, not even Vetis.
So, I do wonder if he was truly a 'bad' other at some point or just misunderstood and in pain like I was, and who knows what trauma he remembers and how he reacts to it? If he is actually bad or evil then I must be. I know I'm not perfect but it does make me sort of nervous that I may be holding some evil inside.
I do believe some people are simply bad or evil and that means their DID can manifest with 'bad' others. I don't adhere to the whole thing of DID being pleasant with others that never do wrong. Again, some people are just evil, and that means that their others will be similar if not the same. Saying that, I don't believe in the stereotype of 'evil' others having to exist or existing in a purely good person's mind. If a good person has a 'bad' one then something probably needs tackling and looking into, if anything, and they shouldn't be judged as just being bad or evil.
Anyway. My food for thought on my own experiences.
