Misanthrapology

OK Ok OK.... I meant for the GG to be done before the season started - all thirty teams, and I had plenty of time, I have no one to blame except global capitalism, and it’s insistence that I maintain a full time job, during waking hours, with which I use to earn money and pay for food and rent. anyways.

Here’s my 30 teams hot takes... Well, not 30, but the one’s I’ve seen snippets of. 

Lakers: They suck. I’m not just saying that, but I am. I am a Dubs fan, so I wanted to get that out of the way: they sold the farm to get AD, Lebron wants him to be the bestest, and will feed him, and they will be unstoppable in any Two-on-Two pick up game they play. But the NBA if 5 on 5. I wish Danny Green was a Warrior.

Clippers: They are pretty good, but I don’t believe the hype. They beat the Lakers, Kawhi is a total beast, but I don’t get all the talk about how deep they are...  ok they have like 9 good NBA players (2 of which are HoFers, - and one is hurt) but come on... Montrezl is sick though, on offense at least.

Pelicans: Good, solid, even with the loss. I saw a smattering of highlights, and a terrible over-time where they couldn’t score - but even without Zion, they are good. I’m sold on Lonzo - didn’t get it his rookie season. Not on Ingram though, too much ISO. Jrue looks like he could run a great team. And I’ve always like Josh Hart. 

Raptors: They are good - I absolutely think they should be more respected. Just seeing Fred Van Fleet after killing the Warriors, he looks confident. Lowry deserves that pay day ($31 mill extension). And Siakam?! Oh my!

Kings: Re-hire Joerger. I’m not kidding. There was something about this team last year that I just didn’t see during game 1. There’s some new faces, but it was a me-first affair. Last year it was a team. People need reps. Cory Joseph was out for the pre-season, and when Fox got in foul trouble, it was up to him and Bogie. Bogdan: be yourself. Good hustle from Nemanja though. 

Suns: This team is better than you think. To be honest, I never really got Booker. But now that he’s got something around him, he looks good. Rubio is a pro. Baynes is a pro. I love Oubre, he seems a little wild though. Ayton is no longer lost in his home town, and Mikal Bridges... he’s gonna be good. 

Trail Blazers: They still got it. I was worried about their lopsided height (since the Knicks have all the power forwards) but its not much different from last year. They lost two swing forwards, who were skinny, and ran a 3 guard line up last year. And Bazemore might not be Seth Curry on offense, but he’s much better on defense. 

Nuggets: They are bad, which means good. Really good. Again, they were the best team in the NBA for a bit last year, and when they lost in 8 games to the Blazers in the playoffs (remember: like 4 overtimes, that counts as extra) people called them soft and too young. But Jokic is going to kick everyone’s ass this year and be the MVP. And they added another 6′8″ dude (they have like 10 now)

Thunder: This team got all that stuff that made people think the Clipper’s were deep, but for some reason people think the Clippers are still deep. Chris Paul: I am on the CP-bus. I honestly hated him since Lob City, but for some reason now I am rooting for him. I wanted to like him, but didn’t, but now I do. If he doesn’t complain to the refs anymore, he will be my favorite player. I want him to stay in OKC, and light the doubters on fire. I am rooting for this dude, and Steven Adams. 

Nets: Yeah right. This is the worst story ever. Pretty good underdog team signs ISO-ball god and savior guard Kyrie Irving. He goes for 50 in the opener, and misses the game winner to lose. All the magic is gone, and the badnews bears are now Kyrie’s supporting cast. The court looks dope though. 

These here are my second squad... (I know there is a historic rivalry here with my Dubs, but its not as bad as with the Lakers... and both the Warriors and Kings have had to endure shocks to their pride, with their recent poor-play spells - the Lakers have sucked as of late, but it doesn’t effect their pride, apparently)

Last off-season I decided that the Kings would be my other team, for some reasons: 

1. They were bad, underdogs... i felt like a bandwagoner with the Warriors, so: I wanted to pick a “bad” team i could get behind.

2. They were local: Sacramento isn’t so far away, it’s closer than LA, and I might move there someday. I love the town, its beautiful. the weather is great. the surrounding mountains, plains, delta is beautiful. I love Sacto, now I love the Kings.

3. They got some great young players (see below).

4. And last: purple. For some reason in fourth grade, i decided purple was my favorite color. It wasn't. I don’t like it, but neither did anyone else. That’s why i chose it. It wasn’t masculine, not too feminine. It was a mix. No one would choose it, so I got to have it for my own... so now... go Kings!

The Squad: Last season they did better than expected. Every podcast personality (see a later post) was talking about how “exciting” it was to watch them, calling them “League Pass Darlings” and ranting about their “pace.” Well, it was true. They always put up a fight, made some highlights, and played with a lot of heart. Dave Joerger (Yea-ger) was always looking befuddled. They had some characters on the team, lovable dudes who could hit shots, pass well and dunk. Their announcers are friggen golden. One old white dude who says stuff like “that was some major whammage!” when De’aaron Fox dunks and an ex-player that humors him, and offers some insight into their play. Thy two never seemed like biased homers. They were often critical of the team, like a stern teacher, that ended up being your favorite because they offered their criticism with love and honesty. The Kings are really a pleasure to watch on TV. 

De’Aaron Fox is going to be an all-star. Maybe not this year, or next year, but soon. This season (19-20) will be his third year in the league. He had a poor Rookie season, it was for a poor team, so let’s give him a break. His second season really showed some flashes, but his team was still trying to figure it out. This past season was full of running point, decent shooting, highlight dunks, and even some good defense. He looks wild, he plays fast, and he gets up.

Bogdan Bogdanovic is my favorite. This adorable Serbian with a funny name is what I mean when I say “playing with heart.” He is from Europe, so he played there a bit before coming to the NBA and landing on the Kings: this means he is old for his years in the NBA. He looks small, he looks young, but he’s 6′6″ and 27 years old. He is the combo guard coming off the bench. He has hit some clutch shots for the boys in purple, and is often just referred to as “Bogie.”

Buddy Hield is going to be an all-star. This might be a hot take, but he might be more deserving than Fox, right about now. His shooting is great (best 3PT%), his D is great. he is from the Bahamas, and his accent is great. He came over from the New Orleans Pelicans when the Kings traded Boogie Cousins. He was getting some notice there, but he really showed up for the Kings. He plays shooting guard but handles the ball a lot. He, like Bogie, is bigger than he seems on the court.

Marvin Bagley and Harry Giles. I am placing these two together because I have already done three players, and believe me there are many more to rant about on this team (YOOOOOOGGGIIIII.......?) Bags and Harry are sort of best as a pair anyways. Two 7-footers, I can’t tell who plays Center and who plays Power Forward but together they are a treat! Marvin was a rookie last year, and is super huge and is easy to spot on the court. He rebounded, he dunked, he shot the ball. and mostly a play would end with him (i don’t think his assist numbers were all that great). Harry was a redshirt rookie last year. Meaning he missed his rookie season with surgery/injury. But he can pass!!! He is tall, lanky, looks like he might be 14 years old (except for size). The two connected for some great plays, and this is a great pairing. If there weren’t 12 other good teams in the West this year, the Kings might make the playoffs behind these dudes.

OK. This is my home team, so I am like, an expert...

(First, aside: This is #1 of 30, GF-guides to NBA basketball - treat all of this analysis as my opinion. Its based on fact, or other people’s opinions, but I am trying to distill each team - and other shit - down to regurgitate-able snippets; so here we go)

The Golden State Warriors (formerly of Oakland, CA - until the start of the 2019-20 season- Now in SF) represent the Bay Area in the NBA. But their fandom extends into enemy territory, most notably, Sacramento (where the Kings reside) because of their recent dominance and star power. Until about 2012 they were notoriously bad, missing the playoffs for much of the modern era. They had last won a championship in the mid-70′s and had smatterings of playoff berths. But it was 2012, behind the ascendance of Steph Curry that they started to become a force. This is about when I got back into basketball - I was going to grad school in Berkeley (and living in Oakland) and started casually watching games. This is the point of view from which all of my analysis will be coming from.

The Team: Over the last 5 years, they have made it to the NBA Finals (championship series) all 5 times - and have been treated as inevitable champs for most of that time. This has led to a lot of eye rolling and bitching about “parity in the NBA.” Ignore that much of the team’s “core” was drafted - they happened to land one all-time great free-agent (Kevin Durant - see: Brooklyn Nets) and people lost their shit, wondering how anyone could ever beat them. Well, two teams in five years did: The Cleveland Cavaliers (2016) with Lebron James leading them, and the Toronto Raptors (2019). Well, with the most recent loss, and departure of said-free-agent in free-agency, many people think that the Warrior’s run may be over. This last NBA Finals certain people got hurt, some things went wrong, and during the off-season the team got all switched up - so talking heads are wondering if perhaps the Warrior’s run is over.

Steph Curry: At 6′3″, Steph plays primarily point guard for the Dubs. This is akin to quarterback. but for basketball. And many young basketball players grow up idolizing point guards - they have the ball most of the time, can be showy with fancy handles and are often the focus of an offense. Steph does just this, coupled with historic shooting ability. But beyond this, he is the face of the organization and fan favorite. These past few years he has deferred to Kevin Durant’s offensive prowess, and tried to play a supportive role, frustrating fans who remember a kid who won back-to-back MVP awards, and was the first MVP to be unanimously elected. Many pundits try to talk about how Steph’s weakness is defense, perhaps because: being human, he should have a weakness; but i haven’t noticed it. He does get into foul trouble from time to time, and is the victim of continuous holding and grabbing when he is playing off the ball. But he gets steals, even blocks, and is by no means played off the floor in end-of-game situations. 

Klay Thompson: at 6′7″, Klay is big for a guard, average height for a NBA player. He and Curry are known as the Splash Brothers, because of their tandem shooting prowess, and constitute 2/3 of what makes the Warriors so unique. Klay is heralded as a great shooter, but many talking heads are keen to talk about his defensive capabilities. More than anything though, Klay is the Yin to Draymond Green’s Yang. He is calm (and when he shows emotion its always something special) and focused. He rarely seeks attention and always does his job. This guy is the ultimate warrior. Off-court he is quirky and loved all around the league. I really don’t know if I have ever heard a criticism of him at all. He plays injured, rarely complains, and seldom showboats. 

Draymond Green: at 6′7″, Dray plays “the Four” or power-forward for the Warriors. But does most of his damage when he plays “the Five” or center. He should be too short to play any of those positions, but here we are. Green is a monster. He might be my favorite player. He is primarily known for his defensive skills, blocking shots, making steals, and generally messing up an opponent’s offense. Ideally he is placed on the oppositions weakest player, and allowed to roam and disrupt: shunning defensive schemes and playing a sort of free-safety for the Dubs. Offensively he can play “point-forward.” He is a dangerous passer, and is looking to set his teammate up with an alley-oop, back cut, layup or open shot, rather than score for himself. He is a little emotional. He will bitch at refs (something he’s working on) and talk a whole lot of shit. This might work to both his advantage and effectiveness as a player, and also be a liability. I cringe sometimes when watching it. But he’s still my fave. 

coming soon: See the title.

I have lamented over the title, because, what does it imply? Perhaps your girlfriend needs a guide? maybe you are the girlfriend and you need a guide... maybe you are the girlfriend and your ____friend needs a guide... ok but what?

chill man, I’ll tell you: I have a girlfriend. and like most partner’s of NBA fans, she has to endure dinner-table, after-work, after-game talk of the latest shit. I spend my work day working with headphones in. (actually i have bluetooth enable ear protection. I have to wear ear protection anyways (loud machines) so they might as well be blue-tooth enabled...

right, but, I don’t have music on my phone - so its pod casts. about basketball. then, during the season (for dubs fans, thats Oct - June -wink emoji) I watch games, and tell her all of the exciting shit.

sometimes its not just her, its other friends who could give a shit about basketball, so maybe its their guide too.

anyways, here’s the premise: 

I am going to lay out the league, and important personalities around it. Ill make some bold predictions, give some hot takes, shoot from the hip, etc... why? so you can too. if you find yourself around NBA freaks, who just repeat what they hear on sports radio, and pod casts, in bars, to other buddies, smoking cigarettes and drinking IPAs, then you can glean some info here at this tumblr or whatever, and talk it up... spit some knowledge like you are all caught up too. Noone will ever find my post, except you of course, and so you can just adopt it as your own. I will start with my fave teams, the ones closest to me, and make my way over to the teams i dont think much about. no particular order other than that... and we’ll see where it goes.

Misanthropy: active disdain for men. and/or humans in general

anthropology: study of human culture

Ok. today is the day. Its 21:21 PST, and I wanna stop messing around.

i am hopping on this little medium for blogging or whatever to give myself some sort of out-put-landing-spot, for my thoughts and words. 

1. At first I wanted to write about politics. Actually more like economics. I have no qualifications, except to say that I have worked the past 3-4 years straddling the lines between capitalism and not-capitalism (was it mercantilism before? Well, where ever we had masters and apprentices). before that I was a teacher. before that I thought I wanted to be an architect (I was in school). Then I wanted to be a railroad bum, squatter, revolutionary, emigrant. ETC 

I want a spot to put down the one-sided, in-head, conversations I have with myself (redundant?) at work, while the dust collector is blaring and blowing, and the router and table saw and planer, and joiner is screeching, and the sanding machines are humming. I am arguing with my boss. I am arguing with myself, with imagines political opponents. I am getting slapped on the back by comrades. So I thought I would test it out.

2. Next I want to write about basketball. I am short. I am remarkably un-athletic. And I love basketball - i think it can save the world. That is a profound pronouncement to make for someone who hasn’t played organized basketball in nearly 30 years! But its a remarkable sport. The best athletes in the world are attracted to it. its a team sport that no one person can dominate, but certainly can have a profound effect. The NBA is an open minded organization that offers its members a platform, mouthpiece, and a growing stage. It transcends global strife, and mirrors modern life, but it pushes us forward, inspires and... you get the picture.

2b. I wanted to talk about country music. Music in general - not art music though. not pop. folk music. music without emotion, music for a purpose. Music to dance to, music to form community behind. I guess that can be pop music. but its certainly not pop-country... let’s make that one short.

2c. Skateboarding. this was community for me when I was 15. This later became punk, then vegan/vegetarianism, then more punk, then freight trains, squatting, old time (country) music. and hopefully now, back to skateboarding. I am 25 years older than when I landed my first kickflip. But the boards look the same, and so do the red curbs, fresh-black parking lots, street lamps, manual boxes, sidewalk gaps, ledges, four-stairs, you get the idea... This was the first everything for me. I have other everythings. but here I am again. and here we go. 

3. Twitter: god I hate this place. don’t get me wrong: a great place for a global discussion and instant journalism. But swamped with pile-on bullies and extreme rhetoric. its the text version of flashing neon signs, meant to get my attention, and draw me in- no matter how unappealing it may be. (I actually think neon signs are pretty aesthetically pleasing - see: Architecture). But I feel the need to call people out with my own platform. so If i get the notion, I will screen shot and criticize here.

4. Architecture (actually just work). I work on houses - and interact with architects... or people called architects who drew a house, at least once. join me as I bitch about them here.