to 37
it's been a wild year. perhaps externally. if you were to take a look at my schedule, absolutely.
but internally, new ways of healing and thinking and choosing a slower, more intentional pace (and space).
a year ago I reached out to my therapist again, and we hit a new stride with some real goals of healing my little self, the 6-year-old Allea, even 33-year-old Allea. to remove some deep shame, harmful beliefs, and create new freedoms.
I traveled my heart out all of 2025 until January, then made a hard pivot to decide to travel less for work — to be more present in the city where I'm living, available for farmers markets, pool dates, new coffee places, walks on Fridays, shows on Monday nights. and that's paid off in dividends; less time scattered across airports, more time at home on Friday nights, slow Saturdays and the emotional space to text a local friend to hang out.
already this year, four friends came to visit me over 5 weekends, including my beautiful 15-year-old niece. my heart was so full I can't even explain. I bawled after dropping her off at the airport.
I'm currently on the hunt for a brewery where I can bring my laptop on a Thursday afternoon to sit outside and sip a red ale while checking things off my list.
my business feels stable, my team amazing, and my messaging in the works. some of the best work this year has been internal and reflecting, then seeing what sets me apart and and gets me excited. the kind of help you have to pay to get help with but trusting that it'll make the whole job of getting clients easier and easier once it's dialed in.
I'm taking a big trip during 37 — Rome, Florence, Cinque Terre, Nice, Barcelona. about freaking time! I'm shopping for dresses, tours of the Duomo, food tours, train tickets. a true vacation, not a day tagged onto a conference this time.
spent 10 days in Nebraska in May, getting hugs and face time and Carbon coffee with my loved ones, feeling richer and richer each day, pockets weighed down as I flew home on a Tuesday.
my anticipation for life and work feels moderate, fairly content, semi-optimistic but largely middle-of-the-road and a tinge nervous about what's possible and what's on me to change. there's so much room for "what if?" and the fear of my responsibility to manage that well has me in a standstill. I could live on a beach; why don't I live on a beach? but I like having roots, friends, a local church, walking paths. also 37 and single, no kids, no house, and a cat I'm sure I can cart off to Portugal if I really want.
the decisions available to me are too numerous sometimes. a freedom I created, a cell of "the fear of a better option" trapping me in by a multitude of indecisions.
at 36, I finally felt pissed off enough to shut down the idea of dating for a good, long while. a healing process, a grieving of my time dedicated to this "idea" for 19 years of my life (17 in Lincoln), and choosing to reclaim my mental space. to occupy it with literally anything else. I felt freedom, perspective, anger, disappointment, resentment; basically still on loop.
no pretty poetic words this year, only a record of the truth — another year passed, lessons learned, friends gained and maintained, and a gratitude for the love and affection of the Lord through Himself, community, safe spaces, and air conditioning.















