untitled

I will succeed because I am crazy

and what if my heart is full. what if the endless possibilities motivate me and push me to live a life that matters to me. what if none of it ever mattered except for the stuff that did. what if I can take a little bit more misery to flood my life with more happiness. what if nothing is what I ever expected and that's the best part. what if just trying it out despite everything is the hardest part. what if trying is the hardest part. what if my mind and heart are open and I have confidence that they won't lead me astray.

When I go out now I feel like lesbians and queer women are looking at me like 👁️👄👁️ ALL the time and I can't tell if it's something that is new to my current era of going out in which I identify as a lesbian or if I was just oblivious before

Going to a show that I'm not working tomorrow night FOR ONCE and I'm so excited to drink socially (in a normal way)

My OCD was perhaps the most under control it had ever been until I could reflect on the all encompassing transformation of true love and imagine a future for myself

I keep thinking it impossible that I could fall in love any deeper and yet every day I am surprised by my depth of love which remains ever expanding

Something I think almost no one around me understands is what it's like to come from Nothing. Like not only was my family something I wanted desperately to escape for every moment of my life until I did it, but those people never told me fucking anything about the family that came before us. I have nothing but me to return to no matter how deep I search for belonging and identity, I've built everything I am from the ground up and continue to do so every day I'm alive. It's kinda lonely if I'm being honest!

I am truly so lucky to be alive and to know what it means to be alive