*whispering to myself as i try to email my academic advisor* fear is the mind killer. fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. i will permit it to pass through me and over me. when it is gone i will turn the inner eye to see it's path. where the fear is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.

in case no one’s told you yet, you feel exhausted and hungover and sometimes even sick after panic attacks/meltdowns/flashbacks/dissociative episodes/etc. because of very real chemical processes that are involved in your nervous system activation and de-activation during those times. it’s chemical dump effects, and no, you SHOULDN’T be able to just brush it off and feel and act normal. you’ve got a bunch of physical things that got activated and that all has to wind down. It’s not in your head, it’s very physical, and you need to work WITH your body during the after-periods instead of trying to curb stomp it. be gentle to yourself, okay?

I think, therefore I am (exhausted)

You have so much life left to enjoy. So many days to be thankful for. Do not give up, you will find happiness.