Ástríðr

#your 20s is picking up the pieces and trying to play catch-up with ppl who had a plan (via merovingiens)

why does looking for new clothes always drain me why do i care so much about sizes i know they’re all made up so why does it bother me so much why can’t i just shrug and move on why is it that when something i loved doesn’t look good on my body i feel it personally like i never put something on and feel good anymore i just feel tired and ugly and like i’m pretending

me: *doin anything at all* me: is this okay??? can i do this?? like that?? is it okay to do this like that?? am i doing this right???????

mood drop but every time i become aware my mood is dropping it drops faster

imagine being secure in ur relationships and not convincing urself that ur friends all secretly hate u at least once a day

no offense but i’m literally starving for affection but when people give it to me i can’t accept it as valid because i’m worried i’ve manipulated their perception of me by only portraying myself a certain way and feeling like this portrayal of myself is an imposter and makes me disingenuous and not deserving of the affection they give me.

i’ve lost my youth and young adult life to mental illness and those are years i’ll never fucking get back and it’s not poetic it’s fucking devastating

I literally fuck everything up and I always get so moody and when someone’s voice changes I literally become so sensitive and I just can’t help it. I wish I didn’t feel like such a screw up half the time.

i feel so terrible when i think abt my future like what can i do?? im good at nothing and i get hurt easily :-/ this is so sad