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GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, DON'T DIE (2026) dir. by Gore Verbinski

Time is running out. Are you ready to join the revolution?

The scene in Disclosure Day where Richard Nixon shows a famous sitcom star alien bodies at Homestead Air Force Base is actually based on a supposed true story shared by Beverly Gleason, one of Jackie Gleason's ex-wives. The story is widely known in UFO circles.

Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't, but his ex-wife absolutely claimed it did.

Twin Peaks co-creator Mark Frost also incorporated this incident into the larger Twin Peaks lore in his novel The Secret History of Twin Peaks (2016)

empathy and intelligence

LIKE THE END AND ALL THAT.

The Andromedans are bad. They're colonists. They fucked up Earth and blamed humanity for it, and when their own attempts to "fix" it failed they killed all humans but claimed moral superiority for being sad about it.

Because okay, taking Michelle at her word for the history of the world, they arrived at Earth and found a place that they loved and was in harmony but they accidentally introduced a virus that killed off the dinosaurs. Which is a basic bitch mistake that humanity knows about and tries to prevent even when it comes to going to planets that might maybe have microscopic life. But do the Andromedans learn from their mistake, realize that their actions have consequences that they can't predict, and leave it be? Or at least try to exist alongside the current inhabitants?

No, they colonize Earth and create an intelligent species based off themselves that they then reign over as gods. Which clearly humans didn't like, because they created a version of themselves that could fight back. Unfortunately, that version was more aggressive (or so she says, because to a people who want to be worshipped anything but docility and servility is aggression) and lead to a nuclear war, erasing all evidence of what came before as well as the version of humanity that worshipped the Andromedans.

And the Andromedans still don't recognize that they're causing problems they don't know how to prevent and leave Earth alone. No, they come back and experiment on innocent people. They don't do it in a way that avoids the suffering of their test subjects and of their loved ones, and they certainly don't get any kind of informed consent. When it causes someone to act out violently, does Michelle consider her place in the system her people caused, if not created? Of course not, he's just an aggressive ape to her.

Then finally the Andromedans kill every human alive. The people in charge and their victims, adults and children, the people doing harm and the people trying to stop it. Everyone is dead. The Andromedans--and the audience--can pretend it's for the good of the Earth, but the Andromedans show no interest in actually protecting the Earth, we're just bringing in our own bias that the Earth would be better off without us. We're all just pretending along with the Andromedans that a species wide genocide is somehow beneficial.

Even if we disregard the history she gives, Michelle, as our biggest representative of the Andromedans, is an awful person. She doesn't take steps to ensure that her employees have a work-life balance--she just tells them that they should. She doesn't have policies to protect her workers, they get injured and can't report it for fear of retribution. She lives in luxury on their backs. She is callous to the suffering of the people hurt by the experiment. Even if she is trying to fit into the role of a CEO, she has the ability to be better and she's chooses not to be.

Michelle claims that humanity made her that way, but that just means the Andromedans are not so different than us. They have the same potential for evil. She can claim that she became something she didn't want to be because of humanity's influence, but we don't see true regret for her actions. She never considers that if she could be better in different circumstances, so could humans. And we don't see the other Andromedans push back against her. Nobody argues for more time for people to change, or for a different path. If she's not a representation of them, they let her make choices for them.

but i really wanna delve into just how terrifying and tragic teddy is??? (also shoutout to jesse plemons you da goat)

SPOILERS FOR BUGONIA BELOW + TW FOR MENTIONS OF KIDNAPPING, SU*CIDE, VIOLENCE, MENTAL ILLNESS, AND SA

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there's so much stuff going on with his character and you can't help but feel a bit sorry for him tbh;

his mom was in a coma until he injected that antifreeze in her iv drip which would eventually kill her

his dad was seemingly pretty awful and just vanished

he works a crappy warehouse job (and speaking as someone who used to work one, i definitely understand hating said job)

the only person close to him, his cousin and confidant, don d1ed and he never got the peace of knowing what truly happened and just thinks that michelle was behind it

AND piecing together the dialogue between him and casey, he was probably sa-ed or overall taken advantage of in some sort of way as a child

it really is just so tragic, because when he blames all of this on aliens, it's not even really too far from the truth (aside from casey f him frl) but it can also be read as a way of trying to cope with everything by blaming it on some sort of higher being

however, don't let that distract you from the fact that he is genuinely the most terrifying one in this film (imo anyway),, more so than the aliens themself

at first when he's setting out his plans and whatnot, you obviously know he's gonna kidnap michelle but there's still a sort of silliness and sincerity to his character, as shown through how he treats don (which I'm still debating on whether or not he was serious of just being pushy) and the fact that he's just seen doing funny things! the scene of him 'training' with don really reflects that when he's doing the high kick and is laughed at for it looking stupid

even down to the scene where he's trying to actively kidnap michelle, he keeps spraying a spray and just overall failing miserably, and you cant help but just laugh at it a little bit because damn he really sucks lol

this carries on into the first basement scene where he is talking to michelle and while getting pretty angry just keeps it pushing and him and don share a sort of cute-in-a-messed-up-way scene of the two jumping with joy over their kidnapping being a success and it's just like haha

however, what makes him interesting is that he has these silly scenes, a sad backstory, and a shift that gave me a bit of whiplash tbh

kidnapping a person seems to already show that teddy is a bit of a violent person, as well as him saying michelle should be glad he didnt "gut her" (crazy ik), but for the most part, he wasn't shown to really be doing much

or this is the case until the second basement scene, where (as per usual) things arent going to well

michelle is basically ragebaiting him and, like last time it worked, a lot

but what makes this scene different is that we see the first big portrayal of teddy outright having deep rooted hatred and violence inside, 1st when he starts banging the chair on the floor and against the wall before throwing it in michelle's direction (she luckily dodged) and finally striking her in the face

THIS was where teddy's true nature becomes apparent, showing that he really is a deeply traumatized, mentally unwell, and VIOLENT man, as opposed to just being the first two, which creates an air of tension for every scene he interacts with michelle in

michelle could literally say one wrong thing and he'll just explode

he's quite literally a ticking time bomb waiting to explode at any minute (pun intended ifykyk)

this is made worse when he decides to strap michelle to the chair and turn up the voltage all the way

although there is a slight hesitation before, he's genuinely so far gone that he's still willing to go through with this torture method

even with don begging him to stop

even with michelle screaming her lungs out (phenomenal acting btw)

he just keeps going and the only thing that really stopped him was don physically unplugging the power

(+ i feel like basket case by green day was an elite song choice)

after this, teddy seems to be so far gone in his way of thinking that he's actively becoming more aggressive and letting his calm facade fade

you can especially see it when he's saying that the plan to save earth by kidnapping michelle was all his work as if don didnt help him AND when don asks to go to the bathroom he's just like "stay here" and as an autistic girl, i just know all of the conflict don had to witness and be involved in was soul crushing

(+ when don first says sorry, teddy says 'dont apologize' but he eventually stops saying that)

BUT IT GETS WORSE

despite already being terrified of this man, the scene that really brought it home was him quite literally SPRINTING towards michelle across the table on all fours to begin to fight and try to kill her for speaking of his mother, because in this moment you really wonder if this is going to be it until the roles reverse, and i feel like this isn't just a simple 'haha michelle got u back' scene but also where the shift in power dynamics begin

throughout his life, teddy seems to just never have power over anything, and so when he captures michelle and can physically take out his anger on her, this gives him power over something for once

when he believes that capturing this alien will help him save earth, it gives him power over the way his life can go on, but also humanity

so when michelle takes power back from him and begins to fight back, it makes her dialogue of her being the winner and him being the loser all the more important

she represents the giant corporations so much through her fake care for her employees work-life balance and also with her seemingly not really providing many reparations for the condition of teddy's mother

when michelle starts fighting back, it (on a VERY meta level) seems to feel like a commentary on how even if you're on top for a while, capitalism and corporate greed will always prevail

(or maybe im reading too deep into this idk)

this flipped power dynamic is later pushed when a grieving teddy points his rifle at michelle, thinking she killed don, and michelle is able to save herself by providing a cure to a problem she essentially created (the cure to teddy's mom waking from the coma) by saying that teddy needs to give his mother antifreeze

now, back to teddy, who at this point in the film, is just completely over the edge

at this point in time, he had just killed casey (good riddance) for catching on and lost the closest person to him to this 'alien' and despite everything he still believes her words and is a babbling mess and even with all the chips down and everything pointing to him being the problem he's deflecting in a weak voice and blaming the alien scum, making things easier to process

like a child, basically

which feels like a reference to earlier in the film when he tells michelle how he isn't a child anymore, much like what an angsty teen would say to their mother

this childishness aspect of his character is further built on by the fact that michelle talks to him as though he is one and is now donning his mother's old gown, obviously he'd listen to her

as predicted the antifreeze, kills the mother and teddy has a new resolve, to kill michelle

as this is happening, michelle ventures through the basement and finds out the truth, with the truth being that she wasn't teddy's first victim, and that there were others

some taken photos of and kept in scrapbooks, paired with mad journal entries, and some who have been kept as wet specimens in jars

teddy returns to an enraged michelle and despite teddy being the one with the rifle, michelle is the one in power here

she monologues about how humans are ruining their planet and how her colony experimented on a handful of humans hoping to make them better

one of them including teddy's mother

this scene blew me away upon watching because it shows just how domineering michelle truly is, using her ceo prowess (if thats even real) and doesn't try to be cordial towards him anymore, with her asking him

"how many were andromedons"

to which he replies "2"

which i feel like is where things get serious, because if michelle was just a random ceo, then why would these dead people make her truly so enraged? was it her humanity speaking, or something else?

to keep things short, crazy stuff happens, michelle IS an alien and decides to pull the plug on humanity, and oh yeah, teddy has a bomb strapped to his chest which goes off (tying back to that ticking time bomb comparison)

back to teddy, because this jusy turned into a plot summary

what starts off as a bit of a wacky character, delves into showing the true psyche of a man who is not just deeply disturbed but also insanely violent and what makes him so interesting is that for every scene he's in, not only did i flinch, but he's also just so unpredictable and wild that you really just are always guessing how much worse it can get, and this is made even worse when the only anchor he really had (don) dies, he gets so extreme to the point where he's willing to ride around on a bike in broad daylight with blood splattered across him and straps a bomb to his chest, on the WHIM that michelle might try something funny with him only for him to be right

teddy was essentially right

michelle was the alien sent to destroy humanity that he was so worried about and in a grand attempt to change fate for the better, his declining mental health and violent tendencies only ended up making things worse and dooming humanity, when michelle returns to the council and makes the decision to pull the plug on humanity

Because the whole colony collapse disorder thing had me a little bit rolling my eyes. Not because I don't care about bees and their place in the environment, but because, like Michelle said, people want to have one enemy doing one evil thing, and the real problem is actually so many problems that we can't fight by banning a few chemicals and blaming a few CEOs. It's not a big conspiracy, it's how our societies are structured. So I wasn't thinking about why it was included in the movie because I don't like engaging with conspiracy theories designed to give comfort.

But really, humans are the bees. Michelle says she likes bees because they're industrious little workers, all doing their jobs without complaint* (I wish I remembered this part better, but that was the gist of it). And Teddy explains colony collapse disorder as the bees abandoning their queen and dying out because of it. Which fits so well with the Andromedans creating humans as servants and subjects, and then humans turning on them because they're not just mindless workers. And not just historically, Teddy kidnapping Michelle is another example of it. He is in so many ways her worker bee. Literally, he works for her, but also his mother was a test subject in a test that she couldn't have consented to, because to Michelle her consent doesn't matter. When he turns on her, it's like the bees turning on their queen.

But like how the conspiracy about colony collapse makes a complex situation simple for comfort, Michelle makes humanity and her kidnapping simple. Humans are flawed because they made themselves flawed, and they can't be fixed because they broke themselves too much, so they need to be eradicated. That's simple and comforting. But Michelle ignores that the Andromedans killed off the dinosaurs, created humanity, created the situation where humanity felt the need to make themselves stronger and more aggressive. She ignores that she personally created the situation where Teddy felt like he needed to kidnap and torture her to protect the people and the planet he cares about. He wouldn't have done it had she not turned his mother into a test subject, and likely wouldn't have done it had she treated him better after putting his mother in a coma. She and the Andromedans are no better than humans, she just gets to pretend that they are because she killed off everyone who would disagree.

The memes woulda been like "when you tune into The Truman Show but he's just sleeping again:

Shrinking (2023-present) Happiness Mission (S03E02)