court jester

got the club pleaking up on a thursday

i notice everything i’ll play dumb tho

(obvious boner) you’re so stupid

damn it's only wednesday?? ??? i need to get fucked within an inch of my life

I know those cens lads saw big dick shane hollander in the showers for the first time and wondered what he did in a past life to be the god of hockey with a huge cock

Not where I think I’m supposed to be going with this but in a past life I think Shane was an extremely devout mentally ill monk in some kind of hardcore very ascetic sect and he had st. Theresa style ecstasies from denying himself all worldly pleasures and wearing nothing but sackcloth and eating gruel and whipping himself or calcifying one of his limbs and he was like slightly superior about the other monks struggling with their vows of chastity because he’s never even been tempted to lust after a woman and then he kills himself via a months long self mummification ritual using those juniper berries and his last dying deranged thought on this earth is “I did it. I won. 🥰”

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

kevin day should’ve been an ancient greek tragic heroine and instead he got stuck in a self published 2010s contemporary sports/crime thriller… and he didn’t even get put on the woke team so he doesn’t know about estrogen or bisexuality

it's thousand yard stare summer