special interest: men

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men

this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men 

to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men

Gonna be honest a lot of people deep down view cheating as worse than abuse which is why so many people view downright controlling and manipulative behavior in a relationship as 100% permissible so long as that behavior is centered around either preventing or discovering cheating.

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

hi we’re a24 and we loved the ytp you posted when you were 15. do you want to direct the multimillion dollar adaptation of your opus, simpsons gone purple?

Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you

"sex should be less stigmatized and talked about more" and "you should always make sure people who dont want to consume sexual media that you present dont have to see it" are two statements that can and should coexist. by the way.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

they call it his achilles heel because ack! It killies him

They call it the Odyssey because it really do be Odd at Sea

ohhhh i get it theyre called cigarettes because for no reason