Benjamin "Bug" Jaegers low life
warnings: alcohol, hints of racism, fighting, violence, murder?? abuse and spoilers to the outsiders book.
Benjamin was always known around town as the devilâs child. Thatâs what they called him, mostly behind his back, but sometimes even right to his face. He could never really figure out if it was the way he looked or just what people assumed about him, but it always felt like there was something about him that made people uneasy. Maybe it was the way his skin was so pale, so white it almost glowed under the sun. Or maybe it was his eyesâthose strange, grey-purple eyes, like a storm cloud that never quite passed. People couldnât look him in the eye for too long. It made them uncomfortable, and in a town like Tulsa, Oklahoma, where things were already tense, it didnât help that Benjamin was different. And his mom? Well, she was black. In 1965, that was a hard combination to deal with. With the civil rights movement stirring up all kinds of trouble, things were already divided enough, and Benjamin seemed to exist in some kind of gray area. He was allowed to attend school with the white kids, but no one ever guessed the full story. Benjamin didnât look like the other black kids, so they didnât know he had that blood in him. They just saw someone differentâmaybe an oddity, maybe just another misfit. But that was enough to get by. He was almost grateful for it. At least he didnât have to deal with the kind of hate that the other black kids did. No one suspected what he was. If they knewâif they knew he was albino and blackâhe probably wouldnât have lasted a day. The thought of it made him shiver. He didnât want to end up like Johnny, that poor kid down the road. Johnny hadnât made it out of the town alive, and Benjamin wasnât sure heâd fare any better. Johnny had burned and died, that's all he knew, some boy forgotten in his death, and Benjamin couldnât help but think the same could happen to him. People used to wonder why he was still in high school at the age of 19. Benjamin didnât have an answer for them, except the truth: life had a way of tripping him up. He had been held back a few timesâmore than a fewâand it wasnât because he was dumb. He had the brains to get through it, but life just kept getting in the way. When he was about 9, his mom passed away from cancer. That was the first big blow, the first thing that knocked him flat on his back. He couldnât focus on school, couldnât care about anything but the fact that his world had gone from normal to a wreck in a heartbeat. His dad? Well, his dad took up drinking and driving as a hobby. It wasnât long before Benjamin was held back for the first time. That wasnât a surprise. The year his mom died was the year his dad started showing up drunk at home more and more. And the next year? Same thing. Benjamin got held back again. And this time, it was even worse. His dad had driven drunk and hit a mother and child. Killed them both instantly. DUI manslaughter, they called it. His dad went away for a long time, and Benjamin was left alone, left with the mess his father had made. He didnât have anyone, not really. Thatâs when he ended up moving in with his aunt. She wasnât the warm, loving type. She was a hothead with a bad temper. And she hated his dad. Hated him with everything she had. And Benjamin? Well, she hated him too. He was a constant reminder of everything she couldnât stand. She made it clear to him every day, reminding him how much of a mistake he was. He never felt at home there, but there was no other place to go. He didnât have a choice. Still,
somehow, he managed to make it through. He wasnât dead yet, at least. That was about the only thing he could hold onto. By the time Benjamin was a teenager, he had learned how to fight. He wasnât good at school, wasnât good at making friends, but he could throw a punch. And when things got heated, when someone decided to take a swing at him or make fun of him, he didnât hesitate to throw one right back. He wasnât afraid of it, either. If the fight got too bad, heâd pull a knife just to make sure he wasnât going down without a fight. Life had been rough, but it had made him tough. And he didnât know how to do anything else. He wasnât going to back down, no matter what. As the years went on, Benjamin got older. He moved out, trying to find some sense of freedom, trying to carve out something that felt like a life. But the streets were cold, unforgiving. He drank more than he should have, fought whenever he had the chance, and ended up living in places that werenât exactly homesâjust shelters or alleys, places where he could sleep, even if it was just for a few hours. The world didnât care about him, and he had made peace with that. It was rough, but it was what he knew. He spent his nights wandering the streets, trying to forget about all the things that had happened. The things that had led him here. But no matter how much he drank, no matter how many fights he got into, none of it ever really felt like it fixed anything. One night, Benjamin made a decision. It wasnât a smart decision, not by any means, but it was the kind of decision you make when youâve had enough and you stop caring about the consequences. He was drunk, as usual, and he decided to steal a car. He didnât even think twice about it. He just saw it there, and the impulse kicked in. He jumped in, started it up, and took off. He didnât care where he was going. He didnât care that the cops were already chasing him. He just wanted to go. But as he sped through the streets, something went wrong. He didnât see the bridge. The car hit the guardrail, and before he could even react, it was off the edge. He couldnât stop it. The car plunged into the water, and Benjamin went down with it, helpless against the weight of it all. The cold water hit him like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, he thought maybe this was itâmaybe this was how it would end. It was too cold, too dark, and there was no way to get out. He sank deeper, and that was the end. The last thing he ever felt was the water, pulling him down, drowning him in the mistakes heâd made. In the end, Benjamin was just another lost soul. Another person who had been too broken by life to make it out alive. Another kid from a town that didnât care.
sry ik this sucks im not a writer hehehe
