aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

Unpopular opinion I support men in skinny jeans. You claim to love men dressing slutty and this man is showing you the whole form and curvature of his lady lumps ready to be peeled out like an unripe banana and you hate?? Fake fans all around me

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

M Nm s 8 PM. nd m lws rrvng whn y trnt Lkng

if you two had a baby it would be a regular sentence. or perhaps silence.

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

everytime i want something i should be shot in the head

“Cook at home to save money” sounds all well and good until you get a little too into it and suddenly you’re bookmarking recipes that call for The Preserved Grace of God and that shit is $13 at the specialty store

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man