Had a traumatic experience at the surgery center and the colonoscopy didn't end up happening. It was entirely on the medical staff for failing to communicate. I went through prep for nothing. Will get into it more later but it's too stressful to think about right now. I feel physically and mentally weak, and frustrated beyond belief. Fuck the medical system.

Finished my colonoscopy prep. By some miracle I was actually able to sleep a few hours during the night. Evening prep wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting, but this morning was rough. I'm so happy to be through with it, now just gotta wait for the procedure.

Colonoscopy prep day. My diet has been Gatorade, Jello, apple juice, protein water, and gummy bears. You have to have a liquid diet with no red or blue dyes the day before. I'm hungry as fuck. Can't wait for this to be over. Only 17 hours until my procedure.

Colonoscopy in 2 days 🎊 I'm visiting family today, so I've got my bag of low-fiber foods in case they're serving anything I can't eat 💲💲💲👍 will be getting FRIES soon

Guess who's getting a colonoscopy at the ripe age of 22!

It's wild how chronic health issues can shape your view of medication. I've heard from multiple people that being on a daily med is a scary change, they try to avoid it, they can't swallow pills even as adults, etc etc. I kinda wish I knew what that was like. But alas. That is not my reality lmao. I've been taking daily meds pretty much as long as I've been alive. I take half a dozen pills every day that get me to a base level of functioning. I'm much more afraid of the prospect of not having access to medication, than taking meds.

I hear his voice criticizing me all day, every day, whether he's near or far. He never stops.

What's up or down?

You can't tell anyone anything these days

Fml

I'm so hungrh

Love love love

I feel so scared whenever someone raises their voice at me and I don't know how to ever get over it and I am so confused about it all