World's Best Grandpa

I need to collect one who uses he/him pronouns, one I don't know very well, one who's slutty, and one who's really funny.

Neil Banging Out the Tunes (2023)

Remember that you're not alone in this. Make efforts to reach out and connect with other guys who share your convictions. Form communities and support each other.

If you're white, cis, heterosexual, and abled, understand that the thing that's oppressing you is classism. The harmful (if not impossible) ideals of manhood you're expected to live up to were invented by a bunch of rich guys who got rich by exploiting people like you. Help other guys understand this.

Learn and help other guys learn how men can be affected by ableism, racism, homophobia, and transphobia.

Learn and help other guys understand that suffering is not a contest, and other people talking about their problems are not taking anything away from you. The woman talking about how much she's suffering from institutional misogyny is not your rival. If you're white, the person talking about racism is not your rival. You're just suffering in different ways under the same shitty system. The system that exploits you all wants you fighting each other.

Learn to recognize where systems and social norms pit people against each other in ways that generate genuine hostility. Understand and help others understand that this is inherently unhealthy.

Learn and help other guys learn healthy emotional regulation skills.

Learn and help other guys learn how to find validation and fulfillment outside of success as defined by capitalism and heteronormativity.

Learn and help other guys learn how to take care of yourselves in general.

Learn and help other guys learn critical thinking skills and media literacy. (Click here for resources!)

Offer other guys emotional support when they need it, and help guys understand that this is healthy behavior that should be normalized.

Remember and remind other guys that when women talk about men being disgusting, it's probably not about you, personally. It's probably about her frustrations with a bunch of assholes you don't even know.

Remember and remind other guys that women who actually believe men are inherently evil have been radicalized, and that the best response to this isn't to get into some other kind of radical nonsense, but to work against all types of radicalization.

IME a thing some people fall into is just severely overestimating the size of the former group of people, and that can be a pitfall because the manosphere wants guys to think there are a huge number of women like that, and that’s part of how “women who hate men so so much” as a class get used to derail arguments: when you concede that there is a huge, statistically-significant population of women (all around you! who could be anywhere!) who genuinely, deeply believe in gender-based (or sex-based) ontological morality.

That’s also how you get things like men believing all feminists think that. If a bunch of women do, surely they must be somewhere, so logically it’s probably in spaces where they’re safe to criticize patriarchy (when in reality you can also find extreme belief about men being inherently violent, aggressive and sexually dangerous from birth etc etc in, say, some conservative religious contexts where those people are in fact very antifeminist and still think men are superior and should not be hated, just that women should have to manage them—it’s a staple of evangelical purity culture for example).