“We cannot learn without pain.” -Aristotle

So, reason why I haven’t been on in a while, I’ve been rather depressed lately. It’s that season that should make me happy, but my close grandfather passed away last year at this time and I’m feeling rather melancholy and lifeless. I need to back off of the heady, intellect stuff, which means I can’t really play Will Graham right now. I’ve been submerged in the Pokemon fandom again because it is more lighthearted and colorful. Don’t get me wrong, I love Hannibal and the deep thinking. But I need to air out at this time. I’m sorry I could not tell you guys before, every time I logged in here I felt really down and unmotivated. I hope you all understand, and I might be back sometime when my classes start again in August.

I have so much stuff to catch up on

“You make it sound like it’s a choice.” He responded carefully, watching a bit of ash crumble from the cigarette she was holding. He was glad he never developed that particular habit; the bottle wasn’t any better though. “But it isn’t, is it?” His eyes lifted to look at her now, wondering if he was crossing territory that he shouldn’t be, challenging her to answer despite her discomforts that he noticed. Loneliness was both a curse and a gift to Will, much like his empathy. He intentionally hid himself away to avoid eventual rejection and protect himself; he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time with false hope of friendship. But his loneliness was also not a choice. His ability to see more than he wanted often disturbed people and kept them away or kept them close for wrong reasons. Will Graham still longed for genuine closeness. He was still a man who had cravings, feelings of his own, devotion, and hobbies. He was still a man who stared five seconds too long at female underwear models in a magazine. He was still a man who thought about kissing and holding someone that wasn’t of the canine species. He was still a man that wanted the gap beside him filled when he was out fishing and the silence of his large house broken by another’s voice. He was still a man.

I’m sorry I haven’t been on so much recently. My eyes have been bothering me a lot recently and I can’t focus on a screen without it really irking me. I’ll try to get some things on here done soon.