when its me that you should be appeasing?

i feel like doing nothing for fun

but you’re tired of me now that i’ve given my best run

the hand that feeds

is a hand that needs to be held

you know i’m not feeling so well

come let hell

ravage our flesh

like you used to think i was the best

but maybe too fast

was a warning we shouldn’t have disregarded

love me back with your tongue and your hand around my neck

love me back with your fingernails dug through my chest

love me back with your sweetness revealed after sex

and your mouth running wild as stolen liquor runs dry

somehow each time i try to remind you

that i’m hurting somewhere deep down inside

and nothings nearly as pretty

but i’m sitting here staring at your face

hoping you find me funny

somewhere inside

the parts you’re longing to hide

show themselves sometimes

at night

but not for a while

i’ve not seen you smile too often lately

but i hear your heart working overtime

over and over

just to cover it up

wrap it away

and swallow the key

i’m just digging for something you might’ve already found

but last night my heart was unzipped

it was out

and i was proud

and we come back to where we both could just be

and you still couldn’t do that for me

i’m town between two selves i want to be

and i squeezed you into both

please don’t leave me before i get you out

please don’t leave before i figure it all out

please don’t leave me at all

i’m content

to brush your hair back with my fingers

and touch you somewhere to get that feeling

but the feeling is rare

you would never kiss me there

comparisons the enemy

but the enemy was him

and now i’m torn between my new one being you

or the zipped up version of my heart

that sits on my shoulder in plain sight

begging to be undone

and never zipped back up right

i’m the kind of girl that looks for things in the wrong places

and the something i get from you is so unusual

and cool

and i’m drooling over you again like you just did

all over your pillow

and wondering how or when i came to feel like i understand you so little

i don’t want to put my heart away

i can’t cause the zippers broke

so even when i do some pepto bismal pink sap

comes pouring through the cracks

and everyday i choke

on words i want to say to you

and words that you say back

and all the things left unsaid

just ringing in my head

ringing is a lonely word

i am a lonely world 

your heart would feel so good next to mine

if you could make your fears unheard

so i guess the point of all this

is just to say

i’ve been staring at the back of your head for 3 hours now

and i’m still fucking enthralled

and i can wait for the hard parts of a hard heart to crumble

break your shell

i just hope you know i’m waiting for you tomorrow and until

i’ve drained all the sap from my broken heart

and cuts my teeth

you’d understand my wrath

if you saw the map

i’m a sinking feeling built to last

your apathy defeats the need to swim

i know i’ll sink easily

you’ll put me out of my misery

for seven minutes of ecstasy

hang me out to dry

i’ll shrivel up

and come right back inside

look into my eyes

and tell me something nice

33 degrees no shoes on my feet

missing you everyday isn’t restraint

its a pain that lingers past when you’re awake

grows in your toes

comes out through my nose

lift my face to the sky so your fingers might find it

you’re my alibi

wink your eye

and toss your cigarette into its final resting place

come inside grace

you’re so contentious 

but i’m in my head less