guileful.

a fresh start in japan was all you wanted. falling for the dangerously charming man was never part of the plan—but neither of them seem willing to walk away.

you guys never had a solid relationship, your mother being narcissistic tendencies and your father being present but not emotionally there, it made you feel like this is what all your life is going to be. a continuous cycle of asking for help while nobody truly listened. you gave up on the idea of having a relationship with them after trying so long, so you cut off- for your own sake.

you decided to choose yourself.

you sat in your apartment a year ago today before getting a job at a company near your apartment, jackpot!

you couldn’t help but feel like you’re succeeding in life, being alone and getting a job was something you never could see yourself doing if you were in your parents household. they made you feel incompetent, belittling you for not doing what other people your age are achieving. you were in your twenties, a good student, a good daughter but not good enough-according to them.

you couldn’t help but smile softly to yourself, your reflection on your laptop catching a glimpse of that smile. genuine and unapologetic.

now you’re in the cubicle in the upper floor of the company, you have friends in this building, thank god. it’s normal for you and your coworkers to hang out together but there was a few male co-workers being odd towards you and your told them off, since you’re a foreigner you naturally gained attention, many people wanting to speak and ask you why you decided japan. just being friendly and inquisitive, but can you blame them though?

you became a very hand but definitely determined worker, the boss really did appreciate your efforts and you even got paid extra for reading documents in english so a wins a win.

you were going through your day and your daily routine comes along-a smoke break. you weren’t necessarily dependent on it, or atleast that’s what you tell yourself but it’s more of a comfort. since you were a teen you stole one of your mothers cigarettes when life felt too much and you needed to slow down. you use to worry about things you can’t control-like how you use to be treated. you then reached adulthood and realised that your worth isn’t based on their words let alone a reflection on you. but atlas you use to and still do smoke, the ability to inhale and exhale the dry, toasted, earthy plant matter, it gave you a sense of control of how much smoke you could inhale.

you make your way to the elevator on your floor and stand inside it, not many people in your company smoke or if they did they would have it on a different time than you, but you didn’t realised the break slowly became a daily thing at 3 o clock.

leaning against the cool metal you hear the elevator noise, a chime that tells a person they are at the desired floor, for you the ground floor. you walk out of the elevator your heels clacking as you walk with one foot infront of another before you exit the building. you walk your way to the side of the building that reads ‘smoking area.’ and you take a seat with a soft sigh.

you take out your box of cigarettes and flip open the box with easy flow to it, and take one out. you put the box in your pocket as quickly as you took one out and you reach for the pocket you’d normally carry your lighter in. you feel nothing. confused, you continue to pat yourself down and you realised you actually forgot it. with that you were about to stand up before you hear some footsteps in the distance, it wasn’t fast, it was something deliberate, as if they wanted your attention.

you look up slowly and see a crisp black suit..nothing out of the ordinary, you did work in corporate, it was common attire. you meet this persons gaze and their eyes look somewhat calculated, his hair is dark almost matching with the suit his wearing, its parted in a way that looks effortless but you know they put in effort. it clicks to you, you have seen him before, he was at the companies celebrating 25 years. he was attending under the company that was next to yours, naturally these two companies were on friendly like terms. you couldn’t deny he was attractive, and he looks like he knows it. it’s like they all say a man who knows his attractive is dangerous.

you continue to sit down and you watch him approach you. his belt that’s now on his hip, waist moving while he watches over, the way his his broad shoulders filled out the suit. you advert you gaze realising you were staring. he walks up and his looking at you, you didn’t know that he saw you patting yourself down like a mad women and you tilt your head slightly in confusion. you read his name tag and it finally clicks this is shiu kong.

shiu has always been attentive when it came to you..his seen you around and has taken an interest in you- in a sense he finds you different. the way you carry yourself and present yourself really did something to him, like the night of the company’s celebration with the dress you wore, instead of wearing the dress the dress wore you. the quiet confident about you was intriguing. he noticed that always at 3 o clock in the afternoon you’d have a smoke break.

he speaks first “3 o clock again,hm?” he says his voice deep and gravely. you meet his gaze “are you stalking me?..” you ask slightly teasing but also confused, the unlit cigarette still in your hand. he lets out a slight huff almost a laugh “oh please, stalking?..you think that lowly of me?” he tilts his head to the side slightly before crossing his arms. you can’t help but quickly peak at his biceps stretching the fabric around it. you meet his gaze again before shrugging lightly, he adds a comment looking down at your cigarette “aw. seven stars.” he smirks a bit. you roll your eyes “came over to judge this.” he shakes his head slightly “no just noticed that you’re just sitting here..it’s still unlit.” he says.

“forgot your lighter i’m assuming?” he moves forward slightly looking down at you. you look up before saying a bit quieter “just left it upstairs.” not wanting to admit you had forgotten it. his smirk widens by a fraction “so..basically forgot..here let me help you.” you put your cigarette to your lips before extending your hands out, expecting a lighter to be put in your hand. he lights up his cigarette before he pockets his lighter, “c’mere..” he says, your eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion before standing up. he leans in gently, the tip of his cigarette touches yours. the heat transfers with a faint crackle, the ash beaming with subtle orange light. your cigarette catches the light almost immediately, you and him maintaining eye contact throughout this. he doesn’t move right away but stays for a second long than necessary.

he leans back taking a drag of his own cigarette “there.” he simply says before exhaling the smoke out his nose.

you stare at him before taking a puff “you do with with everyone?” you tease lightly.

his eyes flicker to you “only those who forget their lighter.” one of the corners of his mouth lifts.

“you’re never letting this down are you?..” you chuckle softly while shaking your head slightly. you put one leg over another before fixing your hiking pencil skirt “you always smoke at 3 o clock..” he adds,almost like a thought he didn’t mean to speak out loud. “why do you know that-are you keeping track or?“ you chuckle softly before he replies “hard not to” he shrugs before stepping on his cigarette, you inhale the tar flavour smoke “why’s that?..” you ask, and his eyes deliberately move over your face. “you’re hard to miss.” he says, simple and final. your heart beats slightly faster after that.

before you could deflect the comment with a joke or something equally stupid, he was already walking away.

just like that.

one hand tucked into his pocket, the other adjusting the cuff of his sleeve as he headed toward the neighboring building.

you stared after him for a moment.

"...asshole."

the insult held no real bite.

you looked down at the cigarette between your fingers, still burning steadily.

"you're hard to miss."

the words replayed in your head far more than they should have. with an irritated sigh, you took one last drag before crushing the cigarette beneath your heel.

it was ridiculous.

you'd had people flirt with you before.

people complimented you.

people stared.

so why did that one sentence feel different?

shaking your head, you pushed the thought away and headed back inside.

the cool air of the lobby greeted you immediately. you stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for your floor.

the doors slid shut. finally alone, you caught your reflection in the mirrored wall.

and for the first time since stepping outside—

you noticed you were smiling.

"...oh, shut up. you’re being so delusional-“ you muttered to yourself.

the elevator continued its ascent.

unfortunately, so did the memory of dark eyes and a voice like gravel saying,

you're hard to miss.

after that interaction you entered your floor and quickly headed to your cubicle, drowning yourself in work, of course this did not work. your friend- hana, your closest friend noticed that your ears are completely red. she knew you blush by your ears rather than face. she walks up behind you and noticed how you were re-reading the same email three times. she saw it when she was at her own cubicle, when she was talking to another colleague and now that’s she’s behind you. she decided to sneak up on you, making her footsteps silent. “boo-“ your eyes widen and quite frankly your body takes a screenshot. it’s way better than screaming on top of you lungs in a place like this. she crackles behind you and earns a few looks by some of your guys colleagues. you clutched your heart and it was beating insanely fast, almostnout of your throat. “what the hell!” you whisper shout looking over your shoulder.

hana looks you up and down like she almost caught doing something you weren’t supposed be doing in the first place. she sniffs you “you smell like that cigarettes.” she mutters before meeting your gaze “..after your smoke break it seems like you have been distracted y/n.” she wiggles her eyebrows slightly, you can’t help but let a sigh out. “you know hana-san..you’re looking too deep into that-“ you say before she quickly cuts you off. “you’ve been reading the same email..three times so please-“ she gently flicks your forehead before you let a slight “ow” out. “so what happened on the break..you seem..” she looks you up and down. “happy..too happy- i don’t think even nicotine gives you that much happiness.” you roll your eyes “t’s nothing..” you mutter before you start smiling automatically.

her eyes widen slightly because she knows this all to well. “girl- who did you see.” she says softly, she looks at the time “it’s lunch now-“ she says before practically pulling you up for your chair. you let out a slight gasp when being pulled onto your feet. “you have to tell me who you saw no gatekeeping please-“ you can’t help but chuckle. you guys get to the lunch room and she quickly sits you down. “so-“ she instantly starts “what happened-“. you explain to her and her eyes widen “wait you mean the hottie?..shiu?..” she whispers, you nod. she hits your arm “you’re joking- and he was flirting with you just like that!” she gasps. you can’t help but blush slightly “his attractive-“ before you can finally finish your sentence she adds “he literally is the epitome of sexy- what the hell do you mean attractive?..” she thinks “he walks like it’s heavy-“ your eyes widen slightly before pushing her “oh my god can you not!” you guys laugh together.

it’s been two days since that day and to say his words weren’t on repeat would be a lie. it’s friday now after and work and you and hana decided to have a sleepover at your place. you guys always always have done this. it’s like she’s a sister.

she’s sitting at your vanity and you’re laying on your bed and you guys are just casually talking about things. she looks at you through the mirror before bringing him up “did you get his number?” you look up from your phone. “who?” you asked slightly confused, she clicks her tongue before sighing “you have to be joking me-“ she turns to face you “the hottie..who else?” you mumble slightly before sitting up against your head board. “oh..that..” you look up at the ceiling. “i didn’t..” she rolls her eyes before sitting on the edge of you bed “in all seriousness i hope you get it before you’re wayyy better than me.” you can’t help but laugh “oh please i know-“ she hits you with a pillow from you bed.

in these moments you really see hana not just as a friend, but as family. she really replaced the deep loneliness i had when moving to the countries away of family and my past that use to comfort me before moving out of the comfort zone. how i came here with practically only with the clothes in my back, and my aspersions, and now i gained her.

the next day you and her got ready together to go to a new bar that just opened. you guys both match, some kitten heels, black short dress and a shoulder bag. for makeup you did something light. you guys uber and the car comes to a halt. you and hana exit the car and the cool night breeze brushes against your guys skin. the bar was loud with chatter and some live karaoke. you and her sit down at the bar and you look around the area, the interior was more like a traditional pub. the wood, warm lighting, it was inviting.

as you look around you meet someone’s gaze. quickly. it’s shiu. you quickly look at hana and at the bartender before he notices you. hana talks to the bartender like the natural extrovert she is, even slightly flirting with him. you don’t know if it’s actually because she wants free drinks or actually liking him. you let out a slight huff at the ridiculous sight.

“‘m gonna go smoke.” you muttered softly to hana and she gives you a nod and hands your phone to you incase anything happens. you head outside finally with your own lighter. you sit down at the bench and light it up before you take a puff. there’s a looming presence covering the light, making you look over your shoulder and you see it’s him. “hidin’ from me now, hm?” he lightly teases. you meet his gaze “no..no i’m not what makes you say that?..” he takes a seat next to you before extending his arm out behind the bench where you’re sitting, the heat from his arm slightly seeping into your back.

he meets your gaze before saying “oh, really?..could have convinced me otherwise.” he looks you up in down, his gaze looking appreciative with something darker. you gulp slightly “no i wasn’t really..” you say before taking a puff. he takes your cigarette “i don’t really smoke this brand..kinda shitty-“ he puts it to his lips. your heart thumps loudly in your ears. indirect kiss,omgomgomg.

he flicks off the ash and then puts it to your lips, you look and him and her jerks his head towards it and you take a puff. your soft, plump lips slightly make contact with his fingers. you exhale the smoke and you guys technically share this cigarette while talking. it wasn’t awkward at all, it was actually very comfortable despite barely knowing each other deeply. you guys talk about work, families, goals. just getting to know each other.

before you know it, it’s over. the cigarette is long gone before he sighs softly leaning his head against the window on the bar. you stand up adjusting your bag on your shoulder and somehow was standing in between his legs, you fix you hair but his eyes is travelling down your body. the way your legs look in heels, the way the dress hugs your curves perfectly, the way your hair falls effortlessly on your shoulders, the natural arch in you back- god. it was a sight to behold and you don’t even know it. he puts his hand to his mouth before slightly biting his finger and adverting his gaze.

you look down at him and cross your arms over your chest “..did you come with anything?..” this question has been nagging on your mind since you saw him. “i mean..a friend.” he simply replied before standing up, the proximity feeling more closer than before. you look up to meet his gaze, even in heels his taller. “oh..me too.” you simply reply. you guys both walk in and continue to talk before making your walk to hana. her eyes directly land on shiu and she gives you a sneaky knowingly smile. you roll you eyes before he speaks “you girls want a drink?..” he ask both you and her. you guys nod and he orders you and drink and she whispers something in your ear like “hot and gentlemanly..if you don’t snatch him up-“ you chuckle choosing to laugh it up before he catches on. before you were going to speak to shiu someone comes up and it’s his friend. toji. toji looks at shiu then you then back at him.

he plays a slight smirk that tugs on the scar on his lip before sitting down next to shiu at the bar. “this is the infamous y/n” his eyes travel down you body and shius jaw clench’s slightly but you don’t notice. “oh hi..nice to meet you..i’m assuming you’re shius friend?” you ask politely before he nods “yeah..something like that..” you tilt your head slightly “what’s your name.” he looks at him “toji fushiguro.” he simply says. he whispers something about you to shiu and he gets irritated by how bold tojis being now.

you and hana continue to talk to the bartender slightly laughing at his jokes, seems like hana really likes him. before you reply to the bartender, toji addresses you “so..do you have a boyfriend?..” he ask, you look over your shoulder before looking at him fully. “no..no i don’t have one.” you reply and you see his smirk lift up before he gently nudges shius arm. you don’t look deep into it. after a few drinks you and hana decide to call it a night.

you greet the bartender and toji before shiu grabs your wrist slightly. you look over your shoulder “wait..y/n.” you nod, noncommittally telling him to continue. “i know you like seven stars..” your eyes narrow slightly “but here.” he pulls out a cigarette, camel-his favourite. he palms it and you hold it. “try it.” you can’t help by feeling confused but nod before waving him bye.

you and hana continue to laugh and talk and she ask how shiu and you were at the smoke break and you tell her and you guys both squeal like teenage girls. you remember the cigarette he had given you and you show her and she looks it at and her eyes widen slightly. "what?" you asked, confused.hana snatched the cigarette from your hand.

"no way."

"hana?"

she turned the cigarette slightly under the streetlight.

there, written neatly along the paper in black ink— a phone number.

you stared. then stared some more.

"...you're joking."

"i am absolutely not joking."you took the cigarette from her, your eyes scanning the numbers again.

once.

twice.

three times.

it was definitely a phone number.

his phone number.

your jaw dropped slightly.

"that sneaky bastard."

hana grabbed your shoulders immediately.

"y/n."

"what?"

"he gave you his number on a cigarette."

you looked down at it again.

"...he gave me his number on a cigarette."

"do you know how insane that is?"

"i don't know if insane is the word—"

"romantic."

"hana."

"hot."

"hana."

"criminally hot."

you covered your face with your hands.

"oh my god."

she was already pulling her phone out.

"we're texting him."

"we are absolutely not texting him right now."

"yes we are."

"it's midnight."

"and?"

"people sleep."

hana deadpanned.

"that man has been watching you take a smoke break at exactly three o'clock every day."

"..."

"..."

"fair."

the two of you dissolved into laughter as you started walking home.

yet despite the jokes and teasing, your fingers never loosened around the cigarette. careful not to smudge the ink.

careful not to lose the number.

when you get how you nervously take off your shoes wipe off you makeup and flop onto your bed face first and kick your feet. you look at the cigarette on your vanity before looking at your phone. you sit up and you take the cigarette into your hand. you look at his hand writing, it feels oddly intimate seeing a person’s handwriting for the first time. you first message how nervous you are to hana and she hypes you up for at least 30 minutes before you decided to type the number in, a bit hesitated. you take a breath before texting.

“hi.”

you sit and stare at your screen for a while before seeing the three bubbles pop up.

“hello, assuming this is y/n?”

you can’t help but feel a slight pang of irritation. does he do this a lot?

“assuming?..so you do this a lot huh?”

you type.

“never that, i was just kidding with you.”

you roll your eyes before replying.

“better be. i don’t like sharing.”

the alcohol making you slightly feel bolder.

after that night you guys became a part of daily routine, texting, co-ordinating your guys smoke breaks to follow each others, hanging outside of work. just infiltrating into each others life seamlessly.

particularly today the smoke break feels heavier, with words being unsaid. you look at him while he french inhales. “you’re way more quiet than usual..bad day?” you ask, he meets your gaze and chuckles softly “not that…especially when i’m with you.” you can’t help but feel your stomach flutter. “yeah?..” you tease lightly, “doesn’t change the fact that you’re quiet.” he shrugs “can i ask you something?” you nod “i’d like to take you out to dinner if that’s okay?” he asked. your eyes widen slightly because you realise now that this wasn’t necessarily unrequited. you nod trying not to sound way too eager “yeah..of course.” you say softly with a soft smile and for the first time you see him smile even if it was small, it was real.

the restaurant was surprisingly quiet.

warm lighting hung overhead, casting a soft glow over the wooden tables. the occasional clink of cutlery and low chatter filled the space around them.

you sat across from shiu, absentmindedly tracing the rim of your water glass.

"so."

his voice pulled your attention back to him.

"so?" you echoed.

one corner of his mouth lifted.

"you moved countries by yourself."

you already knew where this was going.

"yes."

"and you didn't think that was terrifying?"

you laughed softly.

"oh, it absolutely was."

"yet you still did it."

"i still did it."

his gaze lingered on you for a moment.

not intense.

just thoughtful.

"most people wouldn't."

you shrugged.

"most people weren't desperate enough for a fresh start."

the words slipped out before you could stop them.

for a second, silence settled between you.

not uncomfortable.

just quieter.

shiu leaned back in his chair.

"you regret it?"

you thought about it. the tiny apartment. the language barriers. the homesickness.

the nights spent wondering if you'd made the biggest mistake of your life. then you thought about hana. your job. the independence. the peace.

"No."

the answer came easily.

"not once."

something softened in his expression.

"good."

your heart skipped slightly.

"good?"

he nodded.

"because i'd hate to think you came all this way just to leave."

you blinked.

there it was again.

those comments.

the ones that sounded casual but somehow settled somewhere beneath your ribs.

before you could respond, the waiter arrived with your food. the moment broke. but not completely. because even as shiu thanked the waiter and reached for his chopsticks—

his eyes found yours again.

and this time neither of you looked away first.

your foot gently grazes the shin of his leg and you don’t notice. you guys both wanted the soy sauce and your guys hands touch but nobody is quick to move it away. you meet his gaze, and he meets yours. the tension that’s been building over days, weeks even months felt as if it was crushing down all on the both of you. you cleared your throat slightly before you take a sip of you wine.

you let out a small ‘hm’ before settling the glass down. “t’s sweet.” i say. “want to taste?” you as him and he nods. “you’re right it does taste sweet.” he replys, he thinks to himself (you’re probably sweeter) but does not that it out loud.

the night comes to an end and he drops you off by the apartment and walks you to your door. as soon as that door closes it starts pouring. the rain drops hitting your window panels hurriedly. “we just made it-“ i whisper while leaning against the door. “yeah..” he says looking down at you and you notice how he doesn’t even have a jacket. “i should go.” he says, you instantly grab his arm “no..you’re not, don’t be ridiculous do you want to get sick?” he chuckles softly “okay mom.” you roll your eyes before taking off your heels “oh please..just relax and make yourself at home..i’ll change.” he nods before settling in the couch.

you walk to your room and get dressed into your pjs, your apartments heater was working so you did decide to wear a shorts and a tank top. you walk behind him and tap his shoulder and chuckle softly “hi.” you say before walking around the couch. “you’re not getting cold?” he ask before putting his phone down on the couch. you shake your head no before sitting down next to him and the night sky has fallen upon you guys. you put on the netflix “we might as well past time..apparently the rain isn’t going down anytime soon.” he nods and his eyes instantly travel down how your shorts are slightly riding up on your thighs.

.

plap plap plap

the sound of your skin smacking against his thick, powerful thighs. he was so massive underneath you, his broad shoulders giving you something perfectly to hold onto rather than the couch. your nails sink into his triceps while he hisses slightly. you were biting your bottom lip so hard it felt as if you were drawing blood from them, small moans escaped past your lips feeling the hugeeee stretch of his cock.

“oh my fu-“ you whisper into his neck, he holds your waist as if you’re going to disappear, like this was all a dream “yeah..take it..use me..it’s all yours.” you nod and sink further down on him, his grip on you was not to guide you but just holding you in place, allowing to go at your own pace. to take what’s been yours.

you sink down on him full and you guys both let out a moan at the same time. you hold his head in your hands and gently kiss him before you start to devour him. he reciprocates and tilts his head giving you more access to his mouth. your tastebuds taste the dinner you guys just had and something more, you couldn’t get enough. you slowly start riding him, your thighs on either side of him. your cute little moans get inbetween you guys kissing, and he can’t help but smile like he knows his the reason why you can’t kiss him back.

his hips buck into yours, involuntarily. “oh baby..” he whispers gravely. he gently brushes through your hair while you’re on top. you whine softly “t’s too much..can’t..i can’t.” he leans in “but you will..i know you can take it..are you a good girl?..” you nod “yeah?..do you really think you’re a good?” you whine softly “yes yes. i’m a good girl.” he slaps your ass, not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to let you yelp. you moan loudly, his pupils darken. “you like that huh?” he spanks you again before you hide your face out of embarrassment. “no no no..” he says “i want to see you..i want to see what’s been mine from the beginning.” he chuckles softly when he sees your face and kisses your forehead.

before you can process what’s happening he puts your back against the couch and his hovering on top. his eyes travels over your body and and he whispers how much his been wanting you, how beautiful you are and how precious you are to him. he kisses each part of your body and you feel more confident and less shy. “lay on your stomach.” he commands, you quickly comply before he lets out a slight growl. he inserts himself in your warm, wet pussy. you can’t help but claw at the couches pillows muffling your moans.

you start kicking you feet feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure. you look over your shoulder and he starts moving slowly, drawing out soft moans from you.

"doing such a good job f'me m'so proud of you" his voice cracks slightly as his trying to regain his composure. “mhmmm” you let out. he chuckles softly mixed with heavy breathing. “my good girl..i’ve wanted you ever since i’ve seen you at the company shit..wanted to have you forever.” he whispers against your back, his hot breath fanning your skin.

“i wanted to feel how it feels to fuck- no make love to you..you’re so beautiful..my beautiful.-“ he slaps your ass and you moan louder but it’s slightly muffled. he quickly wraps his left arm around your neck, your back against his chest while your slobber drips down the meaty section of his bicep. you quickly close your eyes as he goes faster, each thrust making you jolt upward, you hold on to his arm that was around you neck.

before you know it you’re not even on your stomach but half standing on the couch while he keeps his arm around your neck and plays with your nipples. “oh my gah-“ your breathing becomes instantly heavy “too much..oh.shiuuuuu-“ “it’s so wet for you..” you moan loud “yeah yeah..take this fuc-king cock hic!, you can take it all-i know you can.” you hold his hips while he drillings into you from behind. he presses a heart shape on your slit drawing moans that were unrecognisable to you. you look down and see him bulging through your stomach and you get even more wetter.

your jaw tightens on his arm biting it, as the heat in your lower stomach grows closer. “‘m gonna- cum.im gonna cum please plea please.” you mumble out and he says “yeah? yeah,baby.” “me too..god you feel like heaven- i could live inside you baby-“ he whispers into the shell of your ear, thrusting into you for the last time before you guys are both cumming.

you immediately collapse onto the couch and he follows too, he feels like a weighted blanket. you guys both fill the room with your heavy breathing, the rain adding to the intimate atmosphere too. he starts kissing your neck and when he gently pulls out he quickly puts on his boxers before getting something to wipe you down with. he flips over with such care and cleans you, you shiver slightly at the contact and he watches you intensely to keep for any discomfort. you watch him and you can’t help but laugh softly, his head snaps up “what?..” he asked gruffly. “didn’t expect for us to have our first time on my couch-“ he quickly slaps your leg gently “shut up..smart mouth.” you smile softly and play with his hair before giving him a kiss on the forehead.

he carries you to your bed and he grabs your face to popcorn kiss you before laying you down on the bed and crawling on top of you.

blurred.

previous

synopsis: best friends suddenly feeling like strangers hurts more than either of you expected. what was once effortless between you and kei is now filled with awkward silences, avoidance and words that cut deeper than intended. but beneath all the tension, neither of you truly know how to let go of each other.

you woke up, the sun being your natural alarm on the weekends- its not like you woke up late. you groan softly rubbing your eyes as you hear your mother in the kitchen making something. you can tell by the music shes playing and sing along too that shes happy- excited even. you sit up slowly, your legs sore from training the day before. the dull ache in your calves immediately reminds you of the upcoming race and you click your tongue softly in irritation. great. as if your brain wasn’t crowded enough already.

you look at the alarm clock on your side table near your bed and you read 9:30. you get up, open your windows and make up your bed, as you do that you start to think about the liabary sitution. how odd it was.

you get ready for the day just to relax at your own house- in your own room so you decided to wash and brush your teeth before slipping into a comforable sundress, the one that compliments your eyes- the one keis mother had gifted you. today you were just going with the flow- well derserved because school was draining you. the tasks, homework and even training being a factor to your exhustion. you walk out of your room letting out a soft exhale after getting ready and your mother hears your room door being opened. "good morning sweets- kei and aunty are coming today." your mother calls out from the kitchen whike you were at the top of the staircase. "this cant be happening." you whisper to yourself. "good morning mother..okay then." you say quickly before going back to your room.

you run your fingers through your hair feeling frustated- not at your mom but at this sitution. before you could pave up and down your room your phone screen lights up.

fubuki
alive?

yuki
or did the race training finally kill you

despite yourself, you let out a quiet laugh through your nose.

you
unfortunately alive

almost immediately:

fubuki
you sound miserable

you stare at the screen for a second before typing again.

you
kei’s coming over later.

typing bubbles appear instantly.

then disappear.

then appear again.

yuki
OH.

fubuki
oh that’s actually horrible

you fall back against your pillows dramatically.

yeah.
horrible sounded about right.

fubuki

its okay, we are here for you okay?..queen never cry

yuki

you is kind

you is important

you is smart

fubuki

okay the first one is a lie

yuki

LOL BYE

you

ugh guys im so stressed though. ill keep you posted. ily guys

yuki

i love you more

fubuki

i love you forever more

you heart their messages,and close your phone.

the tsukishimas coming over used to never mean much.

kei would walk into your house like he lived there himself, his mother greeting yours loudly from the kitchen while he headed straight for the fridge without asking. sometimes he’d steal your snacks and deny it even with evidence. sometimes he’d sit at the edge of your bed while complaining about practice while you studied beside him. sometimes the two of you would simply exist in the same room without needing to fill the silence. sometimes he'd annoy you just to hear you complain.

it had always felt easy.

until recently.

your mother calls you down from the kitchen to stand by the door when they come because she’s busy at the stove and doesn’t want to leave it unattended. now you stood in front of the hallway mirror pretending to fix your hair for the third time while your stomach twisted itself into knots.

pathetic.

then the doorbell rings- even though your mom told you to stand at the door and open for them she quite sprinted to open the door. your mom happily opens the door, a loud, warm greeting comes from both your and miss tsukishmas mom. they pull eachother into a loving embrace, acting like its been centuries since they saw eachother but it was okay two weeks. you can help but let a soft smile appear on your face- the same scence reminds you alot if your own best friends, girlhood at its finest. miss tsukishma immediately starts talking and meanwhile you and kei are just standing awkwardly behind your guys mothers. keis frame is way taller than his moms, so you can see his facial expressions- he looks bored, like he desepertly wants to be somewhere else but here. you look away feeling hurt but keep your face emotionless.

he immediatly starts to take off his shoes and put it on a rack- his placed it on the rack. he sees your dress, smells your scent, and your painfully sad face thats still beatiful. when you guys were small and naughty, you guys had this thing of writing on furniture and decided to write your guys names on the wooden shoe rack with a perment marker. your heart ached slightly. all of you guys go sit in the lounge, when ever keis mom is over you dad decides to hang out with his friends- its like a little exchanged between your parents. your mother tells you to both keis mom and her some water but kei was already on his feet walking to the kitchen, already knowinf where the cups are, pouring them water. you sit in your usaul spot.

keis mom looks over at you with a tender gaze-she has always seen you as a daughter of her own since she only had boys. she notices the dress you're wearing. "i must say my taste is exquisite, you look so beautiful in this dress." she says lovingly. "stand up for me." she says with a smile, you stand up, straightening the front of thr dress slightly. she looks at you up and down "wow you grew some much- how are alreadly this tall." she contiunes "yeah..this is lovely, you, me and your mother should go shopping together. id love to buy you some more clothes." you chuckle sofly, being compliemented this much made you a bit flusted but you really do loves keis mom. shes so honest and caring. your mom smiles and agrees with keis mom. kei comes in the with the two cups of water and you sit down in your usaul spot, and he does too, the spot next you. but theres so much distance between you guys.

you glance at him over you shoulder, you hair gently coverinf your side profile so he cant really see but his looking at your guys moms talking. before you can say anything you mom talks to kei "you know kei its been forever since youd been over..whys that? too busy for your aunty now or what?" she teases, he lets out a small chuckle "you know aunt its never like that.. just been very busy with school. second last year of highschool and to say the work load and practice is draining is an understatment." he says and your mom nods, understanding. his mom speaks out "school is abusing thie children these days." your mom cant help but nod "look how tired they both are-" keis mom blurts out "especially him, he looks like his one inconvince away from collapsing." kei sighs softly "i can still hear you mom." he mutters. despite yourself a tiny smile almost appears on you face.

almost.

your mom and his mom are in their own world- chatting away. you get up to get something in kitchen but kei stops you. your eyebrows furrow slightly but sit back down. he looks down at you while he stood up "what do you want?" he ask monotoned. "sweets.." you say, slightly confused. he goes to the kitchen and gets it for you before settling back on the couch and hands the sweets to you like how he always did without thinking. the reason why he got it for you is because you were slightly limping from practice. he realized that he did it and it gets weird again. you mutter a small 'thanks' before opening the packets.

the moms notice the tension slightly, not fully, but enough to realise. your mom speaks up "why are you two acting like divorced parents?" kei looks up from his phone and you look up from thr packet of sweets that was laying in your lap. kei nearly chokes and you want the whole floor to swallow everything and everyone whole. your mother suddenly waves a hand dismissively. “kei, go sit with y/n while we finish talking. you two used to be attached at the hip anyway.”

your chest tightens.

used to.

your mom and keis mom go to the kitchen. you mom wanted to show her the new recipe she found on tiktok and wants her to try it. you need to get your mom off these apps immediatly.

you sigh softly, the tv playing in the background filling in the oppressive silence between you and kei. now its just silence, not angry silence, somethign that was familiar silence that turned uncomforable.

kei looks at your leg, remebering how you were slightly limping. kei hesitated for half a second before speaking out. his deep voice bounced off the walls, how'd it manage to get more depper- you thoughtd were quickly interupted by what he said. "you overtrained again." you blink "what?" you mutter not looking at him. "your knee," he says simply, like its the most ovibous thing. "you're limping."

oh.

you look at him, his blonde hair slightly messy and his glasses. fimalir, thats your bestfriend- so why does this feel forced. then you look away. "t's fine.." he hums in response. "mhm."

from the kitchen your mom laughs loudly at something and keis mom adds on to their inside joke.

while you and kei sit there quietly like strangers wearing the skin of old best friends.

beofore you cant stop yourself it comes out.

"are you avoiding me?" simple, direct, painful even.

and kei freezes, his thumb hovering over the screen of his phone.

because he has been avioding you, he doesnt even know how to explain why.

"you're overthinking it." he replies vaguely.

something snaps in you. all the built up anger, confusion, hurt and lack of answers catching up.

"you used to tell me everything, kei,"

"now i don't even know where i stand with this-us, you."

your tears well up in your eyes, unapolgetically. threating to spill.

and for the first time kei sees how much this has been hurting you and this isnt only affecting him, but you.

kei’s throat feels tight, the accusation landing harder than you intended.

but instead of looking hurt, his expression shifts into something flatter.
guarded.it’s almost automatic.

“you’re being dramatic,” he mutters.

the words hit you like a slap.

your face falls slightly and kei notices immediately—but instead of taking it back, he leans further into the defense mechanism he’s built for himself over the years.

because if he acts unaffected first, maybe this won’t hurt as much.

“i’m serious,” you whisper.

kei exhales sharply through his nose, looking away from you and toward the tv like this conversation is exhausting him.

“so what? i’ve been busy lately. that suddenly means i hate you now?”

“that’s not what i said.”

“you implied it.”

his tone isn’t harsh exactly.
just frustratingly dismissive.

like he’s trying to shrink the conversation before it gets too real.

you wipe your face quickly, embarrassed now for even bringing it up.

“forget that i said anything,” you mutter.

kei’s jaw tightens.

because he knows that tone.

the shut down tone.


the one you use when you’re genuinely hurt.

but he still doesn’t know how to fix this without making everything worse.

“you’re acting like i abandoned you or something,” he says quieter now, though it still sounds defensive.

you stare at him in disbelief.

“kei, you did.”

he immediately scoffs softly. “i’m literally here.”

“physically, yeah.”

that shuts him up for half a second.

your chest aches painfully.

“you used to talk to me about everything.”
“now i barely know what’s going on in your life unless i hear it from someone else,”

“you keep pushing me away, im always here for you i made it clear, always have kei-“

kei rubs the back of his neck roughly, already irritated with himself for letting this conversation happen.

“people change.”

the second the words leave his mouth, regret flashes across his face.

small.
quick.
but there.

because your expression completely crumbles.

you nod slowly like you’re trying to convince yourself not to cry harder.

“right,” you whisper.

kei’s stomach twists unpleasantly.

he didn’t mean it like that.

he didn’t.

but every time he opens his mouth lately, things come out wrong around you.

you stand up quickly, needing space before you embarrass yourself further.

“where are you going?” kei asks immediately.

you laugh quietly wiping your tears with the back of your hand, fidgeting with your nails.

“relax, tsukishima. i just don’t wanna sit here and feel stupid anymore.”

his chest tightens painfully at that, he noticed how you used his last name.

because that’s the exact opposite of what he wanted.

you take another step away but kei speaks again before he can stop himself.

“i never said i didn’t want you around.”

you pause.

finally.

kei looks frustrated now—not at you, at himself.

his fingers tap restlessly against his knee.

“you just…” he starts before cutting himself off.

you wait quietly.

but he shakes his head.

“forget it.”

and somehow that hurts even more than the dismissiveness.

previous

synopsis: after weeks of working together, studying with hinata starts feeling a little too comfortable. what should’ve been another ordinary afternoon in the library quickly turns awkward when kei unexpectedly shows up and witnesses more than he wanted to. meanwhile, the pressure of the upcoming race continues to weigh heavily on you—along with emotions no one is addressing out loud.

a week goes by and presentations were due in a few days. you look at hinata sitting across from you in the library talking about something that isn’t related to the project and you nod and listen attentively.

you hear the library door open and see a tall figure walking in-not that your attention was focused on it but the shadow was hard to ignore when the sun was shining creating this dark figure.

“yeah- honestly i think we’re going to ace this project” hinata laughs “get it because of ace- volleyball.” you look at him almost unimpressed but try to keep your laugh in “you’re being way to loud again, it’s like you want us to be kicked out.” you chuckle softly. he immediately straightens up and clears his throat “wait im so sorry,-“ he continues to talk “i heard you having a race against that other school..is that true?” your eyebrows furrow slightly, caught off guard. you nod “yeah..i’ve been practicing for it..they counting on me.” you mutter the last part a bit quiet.

you’ve been doubting yourself because this race means a lot- the opposing school has beaten your school a few times and you hate losing, even if it’s just small. you are really competitive by nature and naturally that makes you doubt yourself, your abilities. hinata had noticed that part being a tad bit quieter, he looks at you, his eyes more softer. he doesn’t comment on it though. “you know..i really do admire the way you train and have all those things and still managing to be team captain.” he comments. you look at him and chuckle softly even thought there’s no humour to it “well..i appreciate that a lot. thank you hinata-“ he quickly stops you “shoyo. my name is shoyo.. i mean we have been working for a good amount of time so cut the formality.”

your ears are slightly red, almost embarrassed. “ha- okay then..i’m sorry. shoyo it is. thank you..shoyo.” you say with a soft smile on your face. little did you know that someone is near by. kei had quickly found out where you guys had studied. the school library after practice. you’d always post something on your spam instagram account and since majority of your time you’ve been in the library for this project you’d post something in there. his slender fingers grip the pen his holding tighter.

he looks over at you, his head snapping to the back of your head at your table. he knows that laugh. that soft, quiet one that you do when you’re embarrassed or flustered. he doesn’t even know what his doing at the school library out of all places. he had said to you before that the schools library was for friends who just want to hang out and not for studying. he loves studying in his own room, either with headphones in playing his music or silence.

hinata speaks again “it’s quite warm..i’ll buy us drinks when it’s time to go since we can’t drink in the library.” you nod and start packing your stationary away in your bag “ah thank you..i’m actually thirsty.” you smile softly, slightly push your hair out of your face. the slight sweat letting your hair sticking to your face.

kei notices immediately because he knows your expressions too well. how you smiled. like it was easy. soft. almost automatic.

hinata looks around the library and sees kei. you call out “shoyo” while packing your bag noticing how quiet he had gotten. kei overhears how you call out hinata name that it sounds natural, no hesitation. his pencil pauses mid-sentence he was writing. because somehow hearing you say some elses first name so easily feels strangely personal.

you, hinata and even kei hear a crack. kei looks down at his hands. you and hinatas heads snap to the sound. “shit.” kei mutters to himself. he had accidentally squeezed his pen to hard until the ink stains his book, hand and even the table.

your eyes widen slightly- in your head why is he here? why?

you quickly compose yourself, you eyes make eye contact. you freeze. he looks away first- like his ashamed. hinata oblivious to the tension between you and kei blurts out “oh?..tsukishima?” he says.

awkward.

hinata quickly gets up and finds tissues to help kei clean up his mess of pen ink. you look down at your lap your heart slightly beating out of your chest. so many unanswered questions. you quickly get up and then put on your bag on your back.

you excuse yourself to hinata “sorry shoyo- my parents want me earlier home. thank you.” you say before he can’t even reply you start walking, “wait y/n-“ he says, kei looks at your figure, your hair that fell perfectly in place as you walk. the way you carried yourself was always something he admired, the way the sun hit your skin making it glow. you look over your shoulder and accidentally make eye contact with him and see hinata trying to help kei and you look away exiting the library. his thoughts and vision of you was quickly interrupted by hinatas voice. kei groaned to himself, he didn’t like hinata as much and the fact his hanging out with you and now helping him clean up- god time was so against kei.

he looks at hinata “tch- i can do this myself. i don’t need your help.” he says irritatedly. hinata presses his lips into a straight line but continues to give kei tissues to help him wipe up the ink. he knows how kei gets. nothing new.

after that whole ordeal hinata left too and it left kei to sit down and realise what he was doing. he felt pathetic. he technically stalked you, can’t even look you in the eye. he feels weird seeing you being close to someone he doesn’t necessarily like, hinata being so likeable and friendly- it was infuriating. something on board-line jealousy?..he quickly shakes that thought out of his head before throwing the discarded pen shards in the bin near the exit before heading home.

kei unlocks his phone absentmindedly while walking home.

your spam account is still open.

the newest story posted only ten minutes ago.

a blurry picture of scattered notes across the library table.

hinata’s sleeve barely visible in the corner.

the caption:

“going insane.”

kei stares at the screen longer than he should.

then exits the story immediately.

his jaw tightens.

pathetic.

previous

synopsis: after being paired with hinata for a school project, you expect nothing but stress and exhaustion. instead, between library sessions, volleyball practices, and nonstop teasing from your friends, spending time with him becomes easier than you expected. meanwhile, giving kageyama yuki’s number for “project purposes” creates chaos of its own.

the bell rings.

sharp. sudden. loud enough to snap the class out of its scattered conversations—but not loud enough to settle what’s been building underneath.

chairs scrape back. voices rise. the usual chaos.

you close your book slowly, fingers lingering on the edge of the page for a second longer than necessary before you finally let it shut.

“okay—so,” hinata starts immediately, like he’s been waiting for the sound of that bell, already half-standing beside your desk. “when do you wanna work on it? we could do lunch? or after school? or both—actually both might be better—”

you blink up at him, caught slightly off guard by how fast he’s moving.

“uh—after practice is fine,” you say, adjusting your bag strap as you stand. “we can at least figure out what we’re doing then.”

“yeah, yeah—perfect,” he nods quickly, grin already back like nothing in the world could complicate this. “we’ll get ahead of everyone.”

you hum softly in response, slinging your bag over your shoulder ready to get out of class to meet your friends.

you walk to the usual spot where you guys have always met up at and see they are sitting there already. a soft smile appears on you face almost automatically, you walk and-

before you can sit down you, you already regret it. you don’t even get a full second to breathe before—

“i got paired up with kageyama..i can’t even lie, his kinda cute-too nonchalant for me-“ she blurts out with a soft smile. you and fubuki make brief eye contact knowing that yuki thinks that kageyama is MORE than cute to her. she has liked him for a few years but been to scared to say anything. “sounds like you got paired with your soulmate-“ you say before fubuki pokes the side of your rib, “wait the kageyama tobio? the one you like-“ yuki quickly covers fubukis mouth even though it’s just you guys in the area. “STOP SPREADING PROAGANDA!” she shouts and you and fubuki both laugh.

“so. enough about me-“ she says with her face and ears blushed.

yuki’s voice.

dangerous. you know your teasing is definitely going to back fire.

you pause mid-motion, slowly setting your bag down letting out a soft sigh, preparing for whatever she’s going to spit out.

“…what.”

fubuki is sitting across from you, already suspiciously quiet, which somehow makes it worse.

yuki leans forward, elbows on the table, chin resting on her hands like she’s about to interrogate you.

“how was your partner?” she asks, dragging the word out just enough to be annoying.

you stare at her.

“…normal.”

“normal,” she repeats flatly, like she doesn’t believe you for a second. “that’s crazy. because from what i saw—”

“you saw nothing,” you cut in quickly.

“—i saw a very energetic orange problem sitting way too close to you,” she continues over you, completely ignoring your interruption.

fubuki snorts, covering her mouth slightly.

you shoot her a look.

“don’t encourage her.”

“i’m not,” she says, but she’s already smiling. “i’m just observing.”

“you’re both insufferable,” you mutter, reaching for your food.

yuki gasps softly like you’ve offended her deeply.

“no, no—listen,” she says, sitting up straighter now, eyes lighting up like she just had the best idea of her life. “it makes sense.”

you don’t like that tone.

“…what makes sense.”

she points between you and absolutely nothing, like she’s visualizing it.

“black cat girl,” she says, pointing at you.

you blink.

“…i’m going to need you to stop right there—”

“and—” she continues, ignoring you completely, “golden retriever boy.”

fubuki lets out a quiet laugh this time, shoulders shaking slightly.

you stare at both of them.

“…you’re not serious.”

yuki leans back, crossing her arms with a satisfied nod.

“i ship.”

“you ship what,” you deadpan.

“you and hinata,” she says immediately, like it’s obvious.

you choke slightly on your drink.

“what—no, you— we literally just got paired for a project.”

“exactly,” she says, like that proves her point.

“that proves nothing.”

“it proves everything,” yuki counters.

fubuki rests her chin on her hand, tilting her head slightly as she looks at you.

“…i mean,” she says casually, “the dynamic is kind of there.”

you look at her like she just betrayed you.

“not you too.”

she shrugs lightly. “i’m just saying. you’re… quieter. he’s not.”

“that doesn’t mean anything.”

“it means balance,” yuki cuts in.

“it means you both need to mind your business,” you snap, but there’s no real heat behind it.

yuki grins.

“oh, we are. your business is just entertaining.”

you roll your eyes, looking away, trying to ignore the way your ears feel slightly warmer from embarrassment.

“it’s not like that.”

“mmhm,” yuki hums, completely unconvinced.

a pause.

then—

“so when are you seeing him again?”

you hesitate.

just for a second.

too quick for you to stop.

but not quick enough to go unnoticed.

yuki’s grin widens.

“oh my god—you are seeing him again.”

“it’s for the project,” you say immediately.

“after school?” fubuki asks.

“…yeah.”

“at the gym?” yuki adds.

you don’t answer.

you don’t need to.

“OH MY GOD,” she whisper-yells, grabbing fubuki’s arm. “it’s literally black cat girl x golden retriever boy.”

“stop calling it that,” you mutter, rubbing your temple.

“i’m invested now,” she continues.

“please don’t be.”

“too late.”

fubuki smiles softly, glancing at you.

“…just don’t overthink it,” she says, a little quieter than yuki. “it’s just a project, right?”

you nod.

“yeah.”

you reply nonchalantly, with a slight shrug.

the bell rang, you quickly get up putting your bag again on your back. you all three grumble “this school calls that a break? this is utterly ridiculous-“ you mutter.

you head back to your classes and the day goes on.

after school- meaning you and hinata have to met up for this project. you sigh softly making your way to the gymnasium to not met him, but rather hinata.

you enter the gym and the sound of the volleyball being hit, bounced and the shoes squeaking on the floor surrounded you. you look around and see the orange haired boy, well it’s super easy to spot him-especially when his jumping so high. he walks to the bench where his bag has been placed and you guys make eye contact. i give a nod in acknowledgment before you walk towards the bench where hinata and kageyama are sitting.

“hello..hinata.” you say neutrally before turning to kageyama- you knew about him, it was the boy kei likes to argue with and call him the “king of the court” just to piss him off. he surprisingly give you a nod in acknowledgment before hinata puts down his water bottle. “oh hi there y/n- wait i mean l/n.” he chuckles softly and you do too “it’s okay if you call me by my name..i’m not necessarily strict when it comes to formality.” he nods and kageyama speaks up “are you guys going to the library after this?..for the project i mean?” you guys both nod. “yeah..sir is really strict about the project this term..kinda scary.” hinata replies and you nod “i got paired up with sato, yuki.” kageyama says and your eyes widen slightly before looking away.

they don’t notice your reaction because of how quickly you had turn your head but you look back at him. “you’re friends with her..right?” he questions. you nod of course “yes..she’s been my friend since forever to think about it..she might be a bit loud but she’s really smart. you’re in good hands.” you say speaking fondly of one of your best friends. “this is a weird request” he blurts out rubbing the back of his neck with his phone in his hand and gently raises it “i hadn’t gotten her number- for the project i mean, so could you please put her number in and save her contact?”

you and your little match making scheme is finally coming to play-

“sure. i’ll give you her number.” you say nonchalantly but you know deep down how you’re going to tell her and fubuki later. you put her number in his phone and hand it back to him “just say that l/n y/n gave it if she questions anything, yeah?” he nods and him and hinata greet each other goodbye.

timeskip.

you and hinata are sitting together in the library discussing the project, what needs to be done and the requirements. it wasn’t bad at all, you’re actually glad that you got partnered up with him because he is actually interested in his marks. you nod and listen to what his saying then you look at the time 5 p.m.

the session had came to an end but you guys made a lot of progress on the planning now it’s just the content. thank the heavens. you sigh softly and bag your bag before hinata speaks up again-

“hey,” hinata says suddenly before you can fully stand.

you glance at him, pausing mid-motion with your bag half-zipped.

he’s leaning back slightly in his chair, one hand behind his head while the other taps absentmindedly against the notebook between you two. despite the hours that had passed, he somehow still looked annoyingly energetic.

“you’re free tomorrow too, right?” he asks. “we could finish the research part faster if we do it together again.”

you blink once.
“…you make it sound like we’re cramming for finals.”

“because we kinda are,” he says dramatically. “our teacher scares me.”

a quiet laugh leaves you before you can stop it.


small.
brief.


but enough to make his expression brighten instantly like he’d won something.

“see!” he points at you accusingly. “you do laugh.”

you narrow your eyes slightly.
“…what is that supposed to mean.”

“nothing!” he says quickly, grinning anyway. “you just always look super serious.”

“maybe because i am serious.”

“nah,” he shakes his head immediately. “i don’t think so.”

you stare at him for a second.
he says things so casually sometimes that it catches you off guard before you can properly react.

“so library tomorrow?” you give nod “i don’t like projects..all the requirements all the work” he lets out a dramatic sigh “-it’s all to much.” i look at him “you know we can have a day one and off, we will still have a good pace-“ he shakes his head

“after all,you’re the one who wanted to get ahead of everyone,” you remind him flatly.

“yeah but i didn’t realize getting ahead involved actual effort.”

you stare at him for a second before shaking your head slightly.

“…that makes no sense.”

he laughs loudly at that, earning a quiet “shhh” from somewhere deeper in the library.

“sorry,” he whisper-shouts back before looking at you again with a grin. “see? this is why working with you is useful. you actually understand what’s happening.”

you roll your eyes playfully “you’re distracting the others hinata.” you let out a quiet laugh.

that evening after the meet up in the library when you start to walk home, you feelings of this day was easier than the most you’ve been having emotionally. you can’t help but smile softly while walking home the sunset creating a orange hue that makes your skin glow in such a soft way. you feel warm. your mind not even lingering near kei right now. just focusing on you.

that night after you bathed you finally got to lay on your bed and be on your phone and then-

your group chat with yuki and fubuki starts blowing up, your eye twitches slightly from exhaustion.

without even opening the app properly, you already know who’s responsible.

yuki:
soooo how was library time 🤨

you:
normal

yuki:
boring answer. try again

you:
we worked on the project

fubuki:
did he survive

you:
barely

yuki:
HELP 😭

another message immediately appears.

yuki:
WAIT HOLD ON

yuki:
WHY IS KAGEYAMA TEXTING ME

you pause.

then slowly sit up straighter in bed.

fubuki:
OH?

yuki:
WHY DOES HE HAVE MY NUMBER

you:
project purposes

the typing bubble appears instantly.

yuki:
YOU DID NOT

you:
i literally did

yuki:
Y/N???

fubuki:
matchmaker allegations growing stronger every day

you:
you’re all insane

yuki:
HE SAID “hello sato. this is kageyama regarding the project.”

yuki:
WHY DOES HE TEXT LIKE AN EMAIL

you snort quietly to yourself.

fubuki:
that actually sounds exactly like him

yuki:
I’M GOING TO THROW MY PHONE

you:
dramatic

yuki:
THIS IS YOUR FAULT

you:
and yet you’re smiling

three dots appear.
disappear.
appear again.

then—

yuki:
shut up FUBUKI AND Y/N IM GOING TO KILL YOUW AHT DO I SAY PMGOMGOGM

for the first time all day, you laugh properly.

assigned.

previous

synopsis: after that match day it was still a school week and unfortunately the day of the project partners going to be picked-double homicide. you make you way to school not so optimistic but, you realise maybe..just maybe it’s not that bad.

(w.c 2921)

unfortunately after the day of the match it was a week day, thursday, meaning a school day. you swear these past weeks had been slowly dragging. you groan softly hearing your alarm clock blaring in your ears, you then slowly sit up trying to prolong the process of leaving your lovely, amazing, warm and soft bed before sitting on those hard chairs for hours. you put on your slippers before getting ready for school like some robot who has a routine. you go to wash yourself, brush your teeth, brush your hair and do your skincare, before putting on your uniform: button up shirt, tie, stockings, skirt and lastly your school shoes. your bag was already packed with the books for each co-ordained subject. 

you put that heavy bag on you back before heading downstairs, something you're always grateful for is that your mother just loves to cook or bake. shes always making breakfast which honestly makes your life easier. your parents greet you and you greet back before placing your bag on the couch, ready to grab when you're on your way to school. you sit down at the kitchen island with your place of pancakes and apple slices, your mother and father talk amongst eachother- they are such morning people its surprising that wasnt pasted down to you. 

you eat your apple slices before induling with pancake your mom had freshly made, you were in your own world until you dad speaks to you, “hey sweets, how was the match yesterday?” he ask casually “and did you go out after the match?, you came home a bit later” you meet your fathere gaze before swallowing the left over food in your mouth “-oh..sorry i forgot to text you that i was going out but yes i was with yuki and fubuki, we went to a nearby cafe-you know the one that i asked to go to?” you take a sip of your water “and the match..yeah it was fine honestly..”

your dad hums softly, leaning back slightly against the counter, arms loosely crossed.

“just fine, huh?” he says, a small smile tugging at his lips—but there’s something more observant behind it.

you pause for a second, picking at the edge of your pancake.

“yeah… it was a good game,” you add, a little more carefully this time slightly confused to what his implying.

he watches you for a moment longer than necessary.

not intense.
just… noticing.

“you’ve been going to a lot of his matches lately,” he says casually, like it’s just an observation. your fingers still for a split second.

“supporting a friend isn’t a crime,” you reply, a little too quick.

he lets out a quiet chuckle.

“didn’t say it was.”

a small pause settles between you.

your mom moves around the kitchen, the soft clinking of utensils filling the space. before she glances over her shoulder to gauge your reaction.

your dad leans forward slightly now, resting his elbows on the counter.

“you know,” he starts, voice a little softer, “sometimes ‘fine’ just means you don’t feel like explaining things.”

your grip tightens slightly around your fork.

he doesn’t push further.

doesn’t ask another question.

instead, he just reaches over and taps your plate lightly.

“just make sure you’re not keeping everything up here,” he says, gently tapping his temple, “all the time.”

you glance up at him.

his expression is easy, warm—but there’s that quiet understanding sitting underneath it. the kind that makes it harder to lie. you never been the type to talk about your feelings with your parents but that doesn’t change the fact they don’t see you.

you look back down at your plate.

“…i’m not,” you murmur.

he doesn’t call you out.

just nods once.

“alright.”

but the way he says it?

he doesn’t fully believe you and you know that. your mom slides a plate a little closer to you, adding another pancake without asking.

“eat a bit more,” she says absentmindedly. “you’ll complain about being hungry later.”

you let out a small breath through your nose.

“i won’t.”

“you always say that,” she replies, not even looking at you.

a small pause.

then—

“was it crowded after the match?” she asks, tone light, like she’s just making conversation.

you shrug slightly. “a bit… we didn’t stay long though.”

she nods, finally glancing at you.

“mm.”

another pause

“you always talk about the match in full detail..” she says, tone light, almost casual.

you pause.

“…but not this one?”

it’s such a small question.

but it feels bigger than it should.

“there’s not much to say,” you shrug, keeping your eyes on your plate. “they won. that’s it.”

they both look at each other discreetly before they let out a slight ‘hm’ of acknowledgement.

you finish your pancake lost in thought and you realise you’re eating faster than usual so you can quickly get out of this awkward situation. i put your plate in the sink and say thank you to your mother and greet them both before walking to school.

you walk to school with one earphone in your ear with the other one dangling, you normally walk alone to school- you preferred it that way, it allowed you to think and feel on your own timing without having to worry that people will see through you.

you look around you and see how the sunset is rising, and how the wind is slightly blowing in a different direction making your hair flow with it. you sigh softly before closing your eyes quickly to just feel like you’re here- who are you kidding it’s another school day and the impending doom of a project was your destination, yeah, let not. after walking for 14 minutes before reaching hell on earth, a.k.a school.

you finally enter the school gates and grip your bag strap tighter. you step inside and scan the crowds for your best friends- yuki and fubuki. they’re not there.

your brows knit slightly. they’re always here this time.

where—

suddenly, a weight crashes onto your back.

you let out a strangled noise.

“what the hell—!”

you twist your head over your shoulder and there she is.

yuki.

with the biggest, most obnoxious shit-eating grin, barely holding in her laughter.

fubuki stands a few steps away, already wincing.

“yuki, don’t—“

too late.

“surpriiise!” yuki laughs, clinging onto you like this was the best idea she’s ever had.

“oh my fu— yuki, you know you shouldn’t do that to me,” you snap, trying to pry her off, “what if i actually body slammed you?!”

“you wouldn’t,” she shoots back instantly, still laughing. “you love me too much.”

you manage to shove her off—surprisingly easily since she’s too busy laughing at her own chaos.

she stumbles back, holding her stomach.

“okay—okay—worth it,” she breathes out.

you adjust your bag with a groan.

“well… good morning to you guys.”

fubuki snorts softly.

“good morning,” she says, giving you an apologetic look before glancing at yuki. “i tried to stop her.”

“no you didn’t,” yuki points at her, offended. “you hesitated.”

“because i knew you wouldn’t listen,” fubuki shrugs.

you sigh, rubbing the back of your neck.

“one day i am going to drop you, yuki. and i won’t feel bad about it.”

yuki grins again—just as smug.

“yeah, yeah. you say that every time.”

she slings an arm over your shoulder like nothing happened.

“anyway,” she adds, suddenly way too cheerful, “ready to meet your soulmate today?”

you blink.

“…what?”

fubuki winces.

“she means the project.”

“oh,” you deadpan.

a beat.

“no—wait… what do you even mean by soulmate, yuki? please, it’s so early, i can’t even—” you pinch the bridge of your nose, jaw tightening slightly. “and my neck hurts like hell because of you,” you add, glaring at her. “ohh, i’m so getting you back, yuki. watch out.”

you flick her forehead.

“ow—!” she recoils, rubbing the spot dramatically. “violence? this early in the morning? wow.”

“deserved,” fubuki mutters under her breath.

you exhale, rolling your shoulders before glancing between the two of them.

“…and speaking of ‘soulmates,’” you say, putting air quotes around the word, “are you guys excited to meet the‘soulmates’?”

yuki groans immediately, dragging her hands down her face.

“no. absolutely not. i rebuke it.”

fubuki sighs.

“i’m actually nervous,” she admits. “what if i get someone who doesn’t do anything?”

“then you suffer,” you reply flatly.

“wow, thanks for the support,” she shoots you a look.

“i’m being realistic,” you shrug.

yuki perks up suddenly, eyes narrowing slightly—like she just had a thought.

“wait…” she leans closer to you.

“what if you get someone interesting?”

you give her a blank look.

“define interesting.” she grins.

“like… someone unexpected.”

you stare at her for a second longer.

“…i don’t like the way you said that. you’re making me more uncomfortable than scared are you planning something?”

fubuki snorts.

“yeah, that sounded like foreshadowing.”

yuki just shrugs, that same mischievous smile creeping back.

“i’m just saying—today might not be as boring as you think.”

you sigh, already feeling a headache forming.

“great. can’t wait.”

the classroom feels louder than usual.

chairs scraping, voices overlapping, the low hum of students already complaining before anything’s even started.

you sit in your seat, chin resting lightly on your palm, half-listening to yuki and fubuki whispering beside you.

“i’m telling you, it’s going to be bad,” yuki mutters.

“you’re giving anxiety and you know my stomach doesn’t work well with that-“

you whisper

“stop manifesting it,” fubuki hisses back.

you don’t say anything.

your eyes drift toward the front of the class.

right on cue—the door slides open.

mr. suzuki walks in, his presence oozing controlled, precise, and hard to challenge.

and just like that, the room quiets. the quiet authority speaking volumes.

he sets his books down neatly on the desk, adjusting his glasses before scanning the class.

“good morning.”

a weak chorus of good morning, sir follows. he nods once.

“as you are all aware, we will be starting your english project today.” collective groans. he ignores them.

“this will be a paired assignment. you will be analyzing a piece of literature and presenting your interpretation to the class.”

you already don’t like where this is going.

“to ensure fairness—” he continues, tone flat, “partners will be assigned randomly.”

yuki grabs your sleeve.

“i told you,” she whispers dramatically.

you close your eyes for a second.

of course.

mr. suzuki reaches into a small box on his desk and pulls it forward.

thin wooden sticks.

names written on each.

“you will each come forward and draw one stick,” he explains. “whoever shares the same mark as you will be your partner.”

he pauses.

“no exchanges.”

yuki makes a strangled noise.

fubuki looks like she’s about to pass out.

you just stare at the sticks.

expression blank.

one by one, names are called.

students walk up, pick a stick, reactions ranging from relief to immediate regret.

your turn comes sooner than you’d like.

you stand, adjusting your uniform slightly before walking up to the front.

the box sits there.

waiting.

you reach in without hesitation, pulling out a stick.

a small marking etched at the end.

you glance at it once—

then step back.

no reaction.

of course.

you return to your seat, resting the stick against your desk.

yuki leans over immediately.

“what did you get?”

you tilt it slightly so she can see.

“…i don’t even know what that means,” she whispers.

“same.”

fubuki groans softly.

“this is actually torture.”

a few more names are called.

then—

an orange haired boys gets up.

there’s a small shuffle of movement from across the room.

you don’t look up immediately.

but you hear it.

light footsteps.

a stick being pulled.

a pause.

“…oh.”

your fingers still slightly against your desk.

something about that tone—

you glance up.

bright.

easy to spot.

he’s looking down at his stick, then around the room like he’s trying to match it.

your eyes flick down to yours.

same marking.

you blink once.

…of course.

mr. suzuki looks up.

“partners, find each other.”

there’s movement all around you.

chairs scraping again, voices picking up.

you stay seated.

watching as hinata scans the room—

until his eyes land on you.

there’s a brief moment of recognition.

then his face lights up slightly.

he walks over quickly.

“uh—hey!” he says, stopping just beside your desk, holding up his stick. “i think we’re partners.”

you glance at it.

same marking.

you nod once, rubbing the back of your neck.

“looks like it.”

he grins—easy, unfiltered.

“nice.”

you don’t miss how different that feels.

light. simple. not complicated.

you sit up a little straighter, pulling your book closer.

“guess we should start figuring out what we’re doing,” you say.

“yeah—yeah, for sure,” he nods quickly, already pulling his chair closer without hesitation.

“sorry i think this is our first time interacting..so i hope you don’t mind if i ask your name?” you ask slightly cringing at how awkward your feeling and hope he doesn’t realise the tension in yourself.

he smiles “oh!- i found about that,” he chuckles “i have seen you around though mostly at the matches?..if im not mistaken.” he thinks, scratching like the back of his head like that’s going to tell him the answer. “oh sorry- my name is shoyo hinata..and yours?” he ask and you smile softly feeling the tension in your body relax slightly. “my name is l/n y/n.”

maybe this isn’t going to be that bad after all?..it’s tolerable.

he beams at that “oh okay then! l/n you’re officially stuck with me and this project, we can do this!” he says enthusiastically

and you can’t help but chuckle softly shaking your head slightly.

no awkward pause.

no expectation that you’ll do everything.

just… natural.

your eyes flick briefly across the room—

and for a second to see who your friends are partnered with. subconsciously your eyes land on him. kei.

you don’t hold it long enough to read his expression.

you look away first.

but something about the air feels different.

because across the room—

kei’s grip tightens slightly around his own stick.

his gaze fixed.

on you.

and him.

kei :

kei leans back in his chair, his attention only half on the conversation happening in front of him.

his partner is talking—something about the project, ideas, how they should split the work—but kei just nods occasionally, giving short responses when needed. enough to seem like he’s listening.

he isn’t.

his focus keeps drifting across the room.

he didn’t mean to notice at first. it just… happened.

the moment hinata walked over to your desk, all bright and easy like he always is, kei felt something in his chest tighten slightly.

out of everyone.

he exhales quietly through his nose, resting his chin against his hand as if

nothing’s wrong.

it shouldn’t matter.

it’s just a project.

just a partner.

still—

his eyes flick up again before he can stop himself.

you’re sitting a little straighter now, your book open as you talk to hinata. your tone is calm, like always, but there’s something lighter in it. something he doesn’t hear as often.

the voices around him muffle into background noise and he strained his ears while trying to listen to the conversation between you and hinata.

“sorry… i think this is our first time interacting,” you say.

kei’s fingers pause slightly against his desk.

he watches as hinata laughs, scratching the back of his head.

“i’ve seen you around though—mostly at the matches?”

kei’s jaw tightens just a fraction.

of course he has, of course. hinata probably noticed how you were there watching matches, even came after to school to walk with kei.

he knows exactly where his eyes want to go, and he knows he shouldn’t look—but he does anyway. you’re sitting with hinata, already talking like it’s easy.

of course it is.

he looks down at his desk again, tapping his pen once before stilling it.

he shouldn’t be paying this much attention.

but he does. his attention keeps drifting, it’s irritating. he knows exactly where his eyes want to go, and he knows he shouldn’t look—but he does anyway.

his partner’s voice pulls him back for a second. he looks up, already slightly annoyed. “what?”

“i was asking if you’re okay with doing the analysis part—”

“yeah, whatever,” kei cuts in, not even letting them finish properly. his tone is sharper than usual, but he doesn’t bother correcting it.

his partner tries speaking again, something about meeting after school, but kei barely listens.

“we’ll figure it out later,” he says flatly, cutting them off before they can continue.

there’s a short silence after that, his tone making it clear the conversation is over.

kei exhales through his nose, running a hand through his hair as he stares down at his desk.

this is stupid.

it’s just a project.

just a partner.

hinata’s like that with everyone—loud, friendly, easy to talk to. of course you’d respond.

so why—

his eyes lift without thinking.

you’re talking to hinata like you guys have been friends for a while despite just this is your guys first interaction.

like it’s normal.

kei’s jaw tightens. you saw his story. you were there at the match. and you didn’t say anything.

but here you are, talking with someone else(let alone his teammate) like none of it mattered.

kei looks away again, this time more deliberately, forcing his attention back to his work.

it doesn’t help.

previous

synopsis: after a lighthearted afternoon with your best friends, you return home feeling lighter-but not completely at ease. that night you come across kei’s instagram story, though it’s just a story it’s more than that. you recognise it as his way of expressing his emotions, but you choose to ignore it, choosing yourself, pushing aside thoughts you don’t want to confront.

(w.c 1838)

after the cafe with your two favourite people, eating, having your favourite matcha with a pump of vanilla-just the way you like it, and a lovely time overall with your best friends way better time you had than at the match you were watching.

you guys decide to walk to walk home, you living in a different neighbourhood-1 block down from thier neighbourhood saying goodbye feels like eternity until you guys see another again. it’s an established plan set up, they drop you off by your house and they walk home together.

you continue to listen to yuki and fubuki talking feeling at ease, feeling lighter-physically and emotionally. they look over at you and smile softly seeing that weight has been lifted off your shoulders,maybe not fully but they can sense that he helped a bit.

the topic of a project for english and partners come up and you can’t help but let a soft groan slip from your mouth, you didn’t like projects with people-especially when it’s assigned it’s like hell on earth.

being introverted and having assigned parents was a humbling experience-you’d get partnered up with someone and they just expect you to do all the work or they just don’t try at all, so of course you’d just do it all yourself, defeating the purpose of ‘group projects’.

fubuki continues “mister suzuki does not play when to comes to this projects im so annoyed like why can’t we just pick our own partner-“ she’s abruptly cut off my yuki with a small gasp “i heard he does it infront of the class with sticks and you pick one and then he says something stupid like,” she tries to make her voice deeper but fails miserably “well you guys technically picked your partners no take backs-“ you look at fubuki and see that you guys are both biting back a laugh but then unfortunately you couldn’t keep it in and start laughing.

yuki pouts slightly “you guys are laughing but i’m being dead serious, you won’t be laughing when you’re standing up in that class with someone random.” you and fubuki calm down from the little laugh fit you guys had before you speak up “oh trust me my face is going to be so blank-“

fubuki says “your face always looks expressionless most times, why do they call it again?..resting bitch face so-“ you gently flick the back of her head “hey-“ you say, yuki chimes in “she’s lowkey right i’m not even going to lie,” she puts her hands behind her head while walking “you do have this little ‘ice queen’ vibe going- wait you’re literally ayanokoji.” yuki and fubuki hold their stomachs while their knees buck while laughing at that joke, you try to not laugh but their laughs are infectious and you can’t hold back from laughing anymore.

you and the two girls take the last turn into your neighbourhood and you look at them before greeting them goodbye-this feels more of a solider farewell, the hugs and the over exaggerated comments on how you guys are going to miss each other, it not fake but definitely over the top for people who live a few minutes away.

“text in the group chat when you guys get home yeah?..” you say softly while hugging them and they nod before throwing you with a smile and a wave before turning around to walk.

you enter your house, taking off your shoes at the door before placing them on the shoe rack. your mom is cooking, and the smell fills your nose. you go into the kitchen to make your presence known and your mom knows when kei has a match, kei’s mother always tells her, and she knows you always there to watch, to support. “how was the match?..” she asks looking over her shoulder and you stiffen slightly but she doesn’t fully notice since her back is turn towards you.

“it was fine..i mean they had a good competition with the other team so to say.” you say being sitting down on the couch.

“and who won?..” she asks again, “our school, basically our volleyball team.” you reply casually- almost too casually. your mothers eyes narrow slightly trying to study you, but knows better than not to mention it because you’ll just deny it.

she gives a simple hum in acknowledgment.

later that night

after you ate your mothers delicious food, you felt sleepy-and rightfully so. you take a seat on the edge of your bed and sigh before taking out your pjs for the night.

you decide to take a shower, and get ready to relax in your bed.

as you’re in the shower you can’t help but think about the match, the distance, and something else you cannot quite grasp yet. you snap out of your thoughts feeling the hot water fog up the glass on the shower and apparently your mind too.

you get out the shower, dry yourself and then lotion yourself. you sit down at your vanity and do your skincare while you show your fake youtube channel step-by-step tutorials on it.

after all of that you get up and lay face first on the bed, nuzzling the fluffy blanket slightly. you lay on your stomach and get your phone off the side table and read the messages yuki and fubuki are sending. mostly memes and silly little inside jokes.

you reply to most of them because, honestly, they love to spam. you log on into your instagram account and look at the stories. one stands out in particular. it’s keis. your thumb hovers over the screen longer than necessary. you don’t even realise you’ve stopped scrolling and actually saw what you were seeing. it’s just a picture of the court—empty now, lights dimmed, the net still standing like it’s waiting for something.

one thing about kei is that he communicates through songs, his not necessarily good with talking about his emotions that’s why he chooses to drain it out with music that speaks to him.

you hear the song in the background of this picture:

the neighbourhood, reflections, 1:17-1:57

your lips press into a thin line.

you don’t know why that bothers you.

maybe because you were there.
maybe because you saw him play.
maybe because—

you lock your phone before you can finish that thought.

you put your phone on do-not-disturb feeling agitated, why are you looking into this so deeply?..is it because you want to believe or?

you fall asleep refusing your brain to overwork itself again.

meanwhile kei:

he had posted that because he knows that you know him better than everyone else. a song isn’t just a song. it’s his feelings. he had hoped this would spark a reaction.

his been looking at his story nonstop since he had posted it- his friends commenting on the fact he post once in a blue moon, he wasn’t the type to necessarily post and when he does it’s barely about him, mostly places.

he fidgets with his hands while sitting on the couch and akiteru notices him being on edge-totally not normal behaviour after just scoring your team the winning point, and kei isn’t the type to be nervous and when he is, and well unfortunately for him that was not that case. before akiteru gets a chance to speak keis mother speaks to him. “how was the match my son- i’ve seen the clips of it and you were..what do they call it again?..MVP? ah yes- MVP, i’m so proud of you.” she claps her hands together smiling softly “did your friends watch you?” she ask again “-was y/n there?” she ask and keis breath slightly hitches.

his mother doesn’t notice but akiteru who has been studying kei and his mannerisms caught it. kei replies to his mother with a slight huff “yes mom..it’s call the mvp- and thank you..and for my friends yes they were watching me.” he reply’s too calmly clearly trying to force this narrative but akiteru calls nonsense but waits for ther mom to get out the room. “and y/n?..speaking of i haven’t see her in a while has she been okay?” kei looks down at his lap his hands clenching slightly then unclenched. one thing kei hated was questions he didn’t know the answers to, and the distance between you guys.

he replies gruffly, “she’s been fine mom..busy like the usual.” keis mothers eyes narrow slightly but give a slow nod and exits the room sensing the odd tension when your name was brought up. akiteru finally lays it out. “..you don’t seem happy- you’ve been more sulky and even throwing a fit when mom asks you about her?..yeah you’re not exactly discreet.”

kei rolls his eyes “you literally don’t know anything-“ he says a bit defensively, akiteru smirks slightly, it was so easy to see through keis lies when you know him for so long.

“you don’t have to lie,” akiteru “clearly something happened between you and her-what did you do?” he ask, leaning in his hand that’s on his lap. kei shoots him a look of ‘shut up’ but he doesn’t care “whatever you did you better fix it-she’s technically the sister i never had and im not going to let you destroy that.” he says half serious and half heartedly before he genuinely looks at how worked up kei is.

he stops his teasing and kei sits there, phone in his lap, looking at his notifications for the 50th..no..67th time actually- no he lost count.

he storms off to his room and groans into his pillow feeling conflicted and confused to what is happening.

kei stares at his phone a second longer.

that small green dot next to your name feels louder than it should.

you’re online. you saw it. you didn’t say anything.

his jaw tightens slightly.

“…seriously?” he mutters under his breath.

his thumb hovers over your chat. he opens it. blank.

the last message you had sent sitting there like it’s mocking him.

he clicks the text bar.

types—

did you see it

did you notice ?

he stares at the words.

his grip tightens around his phone. it sounds stupid. too obvious. too… him.

he deletes it.

tries again.

you were there

pause.

delete.

his chest feels tight—annoyingly so.

he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair.

“forget it.”

he locks his phone and tosses it onto his bed a little harder than necessary.

but it buzzes almost instantly.

his heart jumps—

he grabs it quickly.

not you.

just another teammate.

his expression drops just as fast.

“…tch.”

he throws the phone back onto the bed, this time not even looking where it lands.

he leans back, staring at the ceiling.

the silence in his room feels too similar to the court.

empty.

unfinished.

his brows furrow slightly.

“…you saw everything,” he mutters quietly, almost to himself.

“so why does it feel like you didn’t?”

he turns his head, looking at his phone again.

it stays silent.

and that somehow bothers him more than anything.

as it was.

previous

synopsis: while watching kei’s match, the bond between you guys slowly starts to unravel. you confront your feelings of being overlooked and taken for granted, an you finally tell your friends what has been on your mind. meanwhile, kei is left unsettled and started to realise you’re presence meant more than he understood.

(w.c 1516)

after the match had ended the the screams erupted from the bleachers and the applause cutting the air it all becomes eerily quiet in your mind while you contemplate to why you actually here, why do you always make an effort to see and be there for him-it’s not like it’s even a question you’d asked yourself but just do out of instinct.

you and kei make eye contact-brief, quick. it was all done when noya starts clapping keis back as a congratulations for blocking the ball-which scored them a point. his eyes didn’t look like usual-soft and aware of your presence but rather calculated.

you feel a cold sweat on the back of you neck before yuki and fubuki look at you. they can’t let this go on-they need you to tell them what’s been going on with you since you haven’t been yourself fully for the past week.

“yo..are you okay, like seriously.” yuki asked before fubuki chimes in “you know you can tell us anything and everything, you haven’t been yourself- you’re more quiet than usual and i can’t help but notice..” she continues a bit more hushed but concerned, “..i’ve see the way you’re looking at him..did something happen?”

you look at her with a heavy heart and your eyes speaks for you.

you and your two best friends walk outside since fubuki wanted you to get fresh air. you look at them both taking in the fresh air, the sun begins to set while the people exit from the gym, and you three sit at a nearby bench on the school yard.

you begin explaining what happened at his house-how you felt as if something was different, charged with something you’re not familiar with. the incident of him texting you and walking off with another girl, how it made you feel. betrayal, replaced and something else you can’t control. they both look at you with understanding and worry as they hear you speak your heart out before-they see your eyes water up, tears welling in your eyes threatening to spill.

yuki looks at fubuki, since she doesn’t know how to necessarily comfort you-not because she doesn’t want to, because she doesn’t know how too. fubuki looks at her and with a nod she holds you hand while yuki rubs your back, comforting you.

you quickly wipe your eyes on your sleeves,feeling horrible with the way you pent this up and it all just releasing at once. you take some breaths to calm yourself down. yuki says “you don’t have to explain anything-just let it out, we’re here.always.” fubuki smiles softly at yuki feeling the genuine warmth behind her words, and you do too nodding your head.

after you’re calmed down you can’t let out a small laugh “this is so pathetic guys..”

you mutter referring you yourself-the emotions and the way you’re acting. “It felt like I mattered… and now I don’t know if I ever did.”

they both assure you it’s okay “your feelings are completely valid and honestly?..i’ve noticed he has been hanging out with this girl-“ before fubuki finishes her sentence yuki buts in “her name is hana, she’s in my biology class, and honestly i don’t like her, i don’t know…something about her just feels off. like she’s trying too hard. ‘t’s weird.” you look at fubuki and she hums in agreement, but keeping her focus on you, her thumb brushing gentle circles against your hand grounding you in a way that makes your chest ache a little less.

you stare out at the tiny flowers growing from the grass, watching how the ants walk on the concrete. your grip tightens slightly in fubuki’s hold before you let out a shaky breath, “it’s not even just her…” your voice comes out quieter than you expected, almost like saying it any louder would make it too real. “it’s him.”

the words sit heavy between the three of you.

“he looked at me like i was…nothing.” you laugh softly but there’s no humor in it, your gaze dropping to your lap as your fingers curl into the fabric of your sleeves. “like i wasn’t even there. and i—” you hesitate, your throat tightening before you force the rest out, “i hate that it bothered me that much.”

yuki’s hand pauses on your back for a second before she presses a little firmer, like she’s silently telling you to keep going.

“i didn’t even question coming today,” you continue, your voice trembling at the edges, “i just did. like i always do. and for what?” you shake your head, a small bitter smile forming, “to feel like i’m…replaceable?”

fubuki squeezes your hand gently, “you’re not replaceable.” you look at her, yuki crosses her arms feeling angry for you “you seriously not replaceable, you’re literally irreplaceable, and honestly i’m going to be brutally honest with you but don’t take it in the wrong way,” she looks at you and fubuki almost tells her to stop before she word vomits. “you’re such a good friend, like genuinely. but sometimes i think you give too much of yourself away-like you’re too available for him…but when it comes to you, you get so little and run off that.” fubuki nods as well as you feeling slightly hurt but understanding of what she means-it’s not the best feeling ever but she’s right, she’s actually spot on.

“you’re always there. like—no hesitation, no second thought. anyone calls, you go. anyone needs something, you’re already halfway there before they even finish asking.” she continues. fubuki nods softly, giving your hand a small squeeze. “it’s not a bad thing… it’s just—” she hesitates, choosing her words carefully, “people can start expecting it. and then…they stop appreciating it.”

the words hit harder than expected.

you look down at your hands, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, “so what…i’m just supposed to stop caring?”

“no,” yuki says quickly, sitting up a little straighter. “just…care about yourself too. at least as much as you care about everyone else.”

you smile softly feeling slightly lighter “thank you guys..i needed this-to let it all out..” yuki chuckles softly trying to make the situation lighter “..you’re such a dummy,” she flicks your forehead and you let out a small ‘ow’ and let out a huff “we told you we always here so don’t get sappy on us-its unlike you, don’t make this weird.” fubuki barks out a laugh loud enough for people nearby to look at you three and you guys chuckle.

you let out a soft weary sigh before looking at them “guys i’m a bit hungry-“ yuki chimed in “oh please i’ve been starvin’ the snacks they sell barely can fill a person.” fubuki mutters “big back.” referring to yuki and they start bickering making you giggle to yourself. “okay okay but seriously guys im hungry, should we go to the cafe nearby?” they both nod and you three all stand up in unison and walk to the cafe.

meanwhile kei:

he sits in the locker room, drying off his sweat off his body before heading out taking his bag with. without even thinking he looks for you in the bleachers and was quickly interrupted his thought process when his friends come up to him-still he couldn’t help looking for you. you always waited for him to get out the locker room so you guys can talk and you would congratulate him if they won or comfort him if they had lost their match.

his heart drops slightly feeling heavy seeing that you went and not stayed. he gave a quick nod to his friends congratulating him and made his way quickly out the gymnasium. “she just left?..” he mutters to himself while he replays how the match had when down and realised that you hadn’t be cheering for him the way you normally do. he goes to the vending machine to buy himself a cold water and a black coffee in a can-something to relieve his thirst.

he walks outside and looks for where you could have gone, to see if he could get anything about your whereabouts, but unfortunately to his luck he wasn’t met with anything useful. he looks at his phone and your contact, feeling hesitant and unsure.

he thinks to himself :

can i text her? why do i feel so nervous about texting and asked where she is? why didn’t she wait? why didn’t she cheer for me like the way she use to-just a measly clap? what was that about?

he types.

where are you?

he stares at it.

then deletes it.

too blunt.

he tries again.

did you already leave?

delete.

his jaw clenches slightly.

his mind goes overdrive trying to find logical reasoning for all of this, yet he wasn’t able to find one.

he walks past the spot-your spot, familiar. where you guys had met before, during, after school. his chest feels slightly fuzzy before the reality of the state your relationship with each other sets in. it feels uncomfortable, suffocating even.

it doesn’t feel like a win without you watching.

they’ve got it.

previous

synopsis: you promised you’d always be there to watch him play. but when someone else cheers for him the way you used to—
louder, easier, like it belongs—
you realize some things don’t need to be said to feel like a loss.

(w.c 1629)

you keep all this bubbling up emotions to yourself not wanting to burden others with your heavy heart. the past days become a blur and yuki and fubuki had noticed but they know better than to pry the information out of you- they know how that goes so they rather let you tell them what's been bothering you yourself.

you three walk through the hallways of your school and yuki is chatting to you while fubuki looks on the wall, "UPCOMING MATCHES" it reads. she looks over her shoulder at the two of you before stopping in front of it and you and yuki notice. you are the first one to speak up "whatcha looking for on the board?.." your eyes and yuki's eyes follow her gaze before she replies "you didn't tell me your races are in two days-" she points to the poster and lets out a silent huff "that's my fault- i actually forgot to tell you, are you guys coming to watch me?" they both roll their eyes at you in unison like that question was so obvious that it was somewhat stupid. "we always do and this time is going to be no different." yuki adds tenderly, "yeah and our cheering is going to be the loudest- just you wait and see." you chuckle softly, feeling a surge of belonging and appreciation in your friend group. as you laugh you see the other posters then one- bright orange.

you think to yourself that kei didn't even bother in mentioning that he had a match so earlier on like he always does and ask you to watch him, you swallow you strawberry milk slowly while trying to process this and the incident before this. what came to this? you had promised him to always come to his games, matches, whenever he needed you, you will be there. empty words and no actions kill hope, and you did not want to do that to him-ever.

time skip to day of the keis match.

the gym was louder than you had remembered it or maybe it wasn’t. maybe it was just you and your emotions telling this.

the overlapping of voices, shoes squeaked sharply against the shiny, polished floor, the echo of the ball striking hands cutting clean though the air.

you look around and your senses tell you this is familiar-too familiar-like something you would have gotten used to now.

you tightened your grip on the strap of your bag as you stepped inside. a voice cuts through your thoughts “-hey you can’t just stop in the doorway,” yuki flicked the back of your head slightly causing you to wince, as she slips past you with ease before ruffling your hair “you’re blocking traffic you silly.” before she lets out a small chuckle. you mutter a quick “‘m sorry.” fubuki followed behind her greeting you with a hug and you hugging her back.

“you came earlier than usual.” she noted.

you hummed in acknowledgement “practice was cut short today because of the volley match.” that wasn’t a lie- but certainly wasn’t the main reason.

“hm mhm.” yuki glances back at you before meeting your gaze with a smile grin. “or maybe you just came quickly before you didn’t want to miss his match?” she adds before wiggling her eyebrows. you rolled your eyes amused even by her boldness and annoyed by how much she teases you over this boy-kei.

“it’s just a match.” you simply reply. yuki looks at you deadpanned and says “you say that all the time, don’t you think that excuse is getting old?” she teases.

fubuki chimes in “and yet you drag us here every time.” her tone gentle not teasing unlike yuki, that troublemaker.

you give a grunt in acknowledgment before all of the three of you move up the bleachers, settling into seats that overlooked the court perfectly. not the very front, not the very back-somewhere in between. the same spot you always sat in. you don’t even think about it as much because this was like a second nature to you about how many times you chose to watch him- chose to sit here, and certainly don’t even think about how easy it is to spot him from this angle.

your gaze drifted taking in the court and the players warming up, jerseys moving in flashes of black and yellow and a split of white because of their numbers- before subconsciously shifted towards the side and then, you found him.

kei stood in his position near the net, tall as ever. one hand loosely holding a volleyball as someone beside him starts chatting to him, his expression seemed calm, slightly bored, like nothing was on his mind and if there was he wasn’t wearing it on his face. it was familiar-comfortably so. the way the sun hits his now-dirty blonde hair and his eyes gleaming like honey and amber.

for a second you felt away ease but then you remember-

“there.” yuki blurts out following your line of sight. “number eleven,right?” 

you nodded. fubuki leans forward slightly, resting her elbows on her knees. “he’s gotten better.” “he’s always been good.”you replied automatically knowing you saw how he progressed through volleyball over the years you watched him.

yuki lets out a snort “you’re so biased.”

you don’t deny it- you don’t have too.

your gaze stayed on him,watching the way he moved.

it felt normal..like that incident in his room and day before didn’t occur. or at least close to it.

before-

someone stepped into your peripheral.

a small shift—barely anything—but enough to pull your attention.

a girl. standing a little too close. close enough to speak without raising her voice.

close enough to not feel like just another person in the crowd.

your eyes lingered for a second.

then another.recognition came quietly.

you’d seen her before.that day.

the one you hadn’t let yourself think about too much.

your grip on your bag tightened slightly.

“…you good?” yuki’s voice cut in, softer this time.

you blinked, tearing your gaze away. “yeah.”

“you sure?” she tilted her head, studying you.

“yeah,” you repeated, a little firmer. “i’m fine.”

fubuki didn’t say anything.

but you could feel her glance.

you looked back toward the court.

kei was still there.

of course he was. talking. listening.

existing in a space that didn’t feel as familiar anymore.

the whistle blew sharply, cutting through the noise.

players began moving into position.

the match was about to start.

“finally,” yuki stretched her arms slightly. “i was getting bored.”

“you were just talking the whole time,” you muttered letting a small huff of laughter. “exactly.”

fubuki let out a small breath beside you, eyes already on the court.

the game began.

the sound of the first serve echoed through the gym, followed by a burst of noise from the stands.

you leaned forward slightly. out of habit. out of instinct.

out of something you didn’t question.

your eyes followed the ball—quick passes, sharp movements, the rhythm of the game building steadily. you open your mouthe to call out to him-

and then,

her voice gets to him first

“tsukki!”

the voice rang out, clear and bright.

too familiar.

your body reacted before your mind did. you stilled. just for a second. your gaze shifted.

not to him.

but to her.

that same girl.

standing a few rows down.

leaning forward slightly, hands cupped around her mouth.

“nice receive!”

your fingers curled slightly against your bag.

you’d said that before.

same tone.

same timing.

same—

your thoughts cut off as movement on the court caught your attention again.

kei.

he adjusted his position, glancing briefly toward the stands.

not searching.

not really.

just a glance.

but it landed in the same direction. in her direction.

and then he looked away. like it was nothing.

like it meant nothing. your chest felt… tight.

not sharp.

not overwhelming.

just—

uncomfortable.

like something sitting where it shouldn’t be.

“hey, aren’t you gonna say something?” yuki nudged you lightly, eyes still on the game. “you’re always yelling during his matches.”

you opened your mouth.

paused.

for a second, you weren’t sure what you were going to say.

the words felt there.

familiar.

practiced.

but—

“they’ve got it,” you said instead, quieter than you intended. his friend group cheers him on and makes you feel like your cheer is just some other background noise.

yuki glanced at you briefly. “since when do you stay quiet?”

you shrugged, eyes fixed on the court.

“just watching.”

fubuki’s gaze shifted.

not to the game.

but to you.

you could feel it.

you didn’t look back.

another point was scored.

cheers rose again.

that same voice among them.

clear.

easy.

belonging.

your hands came together in a small clap.

once.

twice.

measured.

controlled.

not the way it used to be.

not the way it should’ve been.

your eyes stayed on the court.

on him.

but for the first time—

it felt like you were watching from somewhere further away.

like there was space now.

space that hadn’t been there before.

and no matter how much you told yourself it didn’t matter—

you noticed it.

every second of it.

when did i stop being the person who did that for you?..

a.n: it’s me again, i’m posting quite fast because i’m on break 😅, but i’ve made a playlist of what kei would probably listen to that’s in the first picture, and yes i too made the poster, it’s kinda ugly the more i stare at it😭.

can you lose something that wasn’t yours to begin with?

previous

synopsis: at sixteen everything should feel the same or even more familiar,right?..between the lines of different schedules and quiet distance that grew unintentionally. you tell yourself it doesn’t matter, until one afternoon. you are then forced to wonder.

(w.c 1560)

(this has both you and kei’s pov.)

you had to admit you both had changed a lot not just physically but emotionally too- especially kei after the incident with his brother when he was ten years old. he became emotionally closed off and his love for volleyball has been rocky. as for you, you started to get into sports now- you’re the captain of the athletics team of your high school while kei still plays in volleyball.

when high school started you still had fubuki and yuki- they were your constants, best friends. as for kei the friends he had made that day on the first day of school was still carried with him, but his best friend is someone named yamaguchi tadashi. you’ve spoke to him a few times his nice, gentle and overall a good friend.

when high school started at fourteen, you still walked home together sometimes.

at fifteen, that became less frequent.

by sixteen, you weren’t sure when it stopped completely. the lines blurred slightly as for the fact that you were in different classes and extra activities causing you guys to spend less time together, does it hurt?..you try to convince yourself it doesn’t hurt as much but the more you lie to yourself the less convincing you get.

you spot him talking to his friends a mixed friend group with girls and boys, normally you guys would walk together- this is the spot you usually met up at so you can travel together.

you silently just stand there wondering if you should go up there as you were taking a step forward a girl, says very loudly “tsukki are we walking home together?” she lets out a small huff and he looks at her and nods and he walks with her. you hear the nickname- the name you gave him when you use to be lazy to not pronounce his whole surname,that just became a habit of saying- something that belonged to you.

you stand completely still not knowing what just happened?..who was that?..why is happening he asked you to walk with him today?..you feel your heart pain from not only the distance between you guys but also he had let you down- you were looking forward to when your schedules do align with each other only to be met with this.your grip on your bag tightens trying to keep your composure in check.

“..but you promised..today we will walk together today.” you whisper to yourself before looking back at your phone to see if it was real and not just some ploy-

it was real. he sent the message.

he didn’t even look around for you, not even a glance at the reply you eagerly wrote out while rushing out of practice.

you told yourself it doesn’t matter again. people change. things change. you knew that.

we’re you seriously jealous he has other friends- seriously grow up. you understood this.you tell yourself, trying to downplay that gnawing feeling in your chest but this doesn’t just feel like jealousy, it feels like something slipping.

a silent breeze passed by softly, brushing against your skin, but it did nothing to settle the feeling that had begun to settle in your chest. you forced your feet to move again.

step by step.

but the path felt a little longer than usual.

and for the first time walking home didn’t feel as light as it use to.

you walk the familiar paths where you and kei would walk, the leaves crunched beneath your shoes with each step, the sound louder than usual in the silence surrounding you.

you reached for your earphones, slipping them in as music filled your ears—loud enough to drown out your thoughts, or at least try to.

your feet carried you toward the small convenience store near your neighborhood.

you pushed the door open, the soft chime above it ringing as you entered.

you grabbed a basket, your gaze fixed downward as you walked through the aisles, picking up snacks you’d been craving without really thinking.

the music in your ears bled faintly into the air around you.

you paid at the counter, barely making eye contact, before stepping back outside. noticing the sun slowly dipping creating a orange hue and yellow tinge on the horizon.

you adjusted your grip on the plastic bag and continued walking.

when you passed kei’s house, since you guys lived in the same area.

you didn’t look.

you didn’t slow down.

you didn’t wait.

why am i this bothered?

your chest felt tight.

your thoughts louder now, harder to ignore.

do i even have the right to feel this way?

KEIS POV:

he saw you.

not immediately.

not when he first stepped out with the others, their voices overlapping, easy and loud in a way he had gotten used to.

but eventually he did.

you were standing where you always stood.

that same spot.

the one that had never needed to be said out loud, the spot that was yours.

his steps slowed—just slightly.

barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t watching him. but enough for him to feel it.

he knew that look.

the way you stood there, like you were deciding whether to come over or not.

you never used to hesitate, you would walk right up to him..so why is today different?

his thoughts were momentarily cut off my a girl’s voice ringing in his ears.

“tsukki, are we walking home together?”

he heard it before he really processed it.

the voice next to him, he hadn’t even heard the nickname she had called him since it was yours and it didn’t have any meaning.

he looked to his side to see his friend he made in the second year of school through mutual friends.

familiar.

expectant.

he glanced at her. then— back at you.

just for a second. you were still there. lingering, hesitant.

he should’ve said something.

he knew that.

he could’ve.

it wouldn’t have been hard.

wait.

give me a second.

let me just— something simple.

something normal.

but the moment stretched.

too long.

long enough for it to feel… awkward.

long enough for the others to notice.

long enough for him to hesitate. feeling slightly vulnerable.

so he nodded.

“yeah.”

the word came out easily.

too easily.

and then he walked.

he felt it immediately.

not regret.

not exactly.

just—

awareness.

the kind that sat quietly in his chest, heavier with every step he took away.

he didn’t look back right away.

he told himself he didn’t need to.

that you’d catch up.

that you always did.

but you didn’t.

the conversation around him continued.

someone said something.

someone laughed.

he responded automatically.

but his attention wasn’t there.

not fully.

after a few steps—

he glanced back.subtly.

just enough.

you were still standing there.

something in his chest tightened.

small.

sharp.

unexpected.

he looked away.

quickly.

like he hadn’t meant to check.

she’ll come.

the thought came naturally.

familiar.

but something about it didn’t sit right.

his pace slowed again.

just slightly.

he barely noticed it himself—

but the girl next to him did.

“tsukki?”

he blinked.

“what?”

“you’re walking slower.”

“…am i?”

she gave him a look, half amused. “yeah.”

he hummed quietly, adjusting his pace again.

back to normal.

he didn’t look back a second time.

he didn’t need to.

if you were going to follow—

you would’ve by now. even when you were younger you told yourself and kei that you wouldn’t follow someone it makes you feel more of a burden and he understood.

the realization settled in slowly.

too slowly.

like something sinking beneath the surface.

you weren’t behind him.

you weren’t catching up.

you weren’t there.

and for some reason—

that felt… wrong.

his hand shifted slightly at his side.

fingers curling, then relaxing again.

he wasn’t sure what he was expecting.

or why it mattered.

you had your own things.

your own schedule.

your own life.

so did he.this was normal. you guys haven’t walked together in a long time so why would this time feel different? because he asked? because he told you to met up with him? because he stalked to see if your practice is ending earlier today?

but as the conversation around him continued

as the street stretched further ahead—

as your presence stayed noticeably absent.

kei found himself thinking about something he hadn’t considered before.

since when did she stop walking with me?

he didn’t have an answer.

and for the first time—

he noticed the silence beside him.

the one that used to be filled without effort.

without thought.

now—

it wasn’t.

kei exhaled quietly.

almost inaudible.

he didn’t turn around.

he didn’t stop.

he didn’t say anything.

but the thought stayed with him.

long after the moment passed.

long after the walk ended.

something had changed.

he could feel it now.

clearly.

and this time—

he wasn’t sure when it started.

or how to fix it. he starts to remember the day you visited before school started- the atmosphere, the slight tension. the change- the shift or whatever it called.

but for some reason—

he knew one thing.

you hadn’t followed him. and that

felt like it meant more than it should’ve.

softer, harder, in between.

previous

synopsis:a quiet afternoon at kei’s house begins like it always has, but something feels different. in the silence between familiar routines, you both notice the changes-subtle, undeniable, and impossible to ignore. without saying it out loud, you realize your bond isn’t as simple as it used to be, and the line blurs, neither of you know what that means yet.

(w.c 1076)

a few years had past since that ‘first day’ and now you guys are in high school.

it wasn’t unusual for you to be at kei’s house, especially since it was school holidays, you decide to pop in by his house two days before school starts again.

it had been that way for years—walking in without hesitation, greeting his mom, heading upstairs like it was second nature.

his room had always felt familiar.

comfortable.

safe.

⋆.˚⋆˚

“i’ll be in kei’s room!” you called out as you stepped inside, already slipping off your shoes.

“okay, dear!” his mother replied warmly from the kitchen.

you made your way upstairs, the soft creak of the steps unchanged, your hand brushing against the wall as you reached his door.

you knocked once out of habit before opening it.

“kei—”

you paused.

he was sitting at his desk, back slightly turned, headphones resting around his neck as he looked over something—notes, maybe. he glanced up at the sound of your voice.

“oh… you’re here.”

“yeah,” you replied, stepping inside and closing the door behind you. “doesn’t seem like you happy to see me.” you dryly joke and let out a small smile.

for a moment, everything felt the same.

his room was still neat, just like always.

books stacked neatly.

his volleyball resting near the corner.

his bed untouched, like he rarely used it during the day.

familiar.

and yet something felt different.

you couldn’t quite place it.

you moved toward his bed, sitting down like you always did, your fingers brushing lightly over the fabric making yourself at home- like always.

“what are you doing?” you asked.

“studying,” he replied simply, turning back to his desk.

you hummed in response, leaning back slightly on your hands.

silence settled between you.

not uncomfortable.

but not as easy as it used to be.

before, you would’ve filled it without thinking—talking about anything and everything, rambling until he gave you one of his usual dry responses.

but now…

you hesitated.

your eyes drifted toward him instead.

really looking at him.

his shoulders seemed broader than before, his blonde hair become a shade darker than he was when he was child. the way his adam’s apple bobbed even he swallowed. his long hand and fingers grazing the textbooks pages, the way he grew into his glasses, the way his eyes still have that glow to them.

his posture more relaxed, but grounded.

even the way he sat—there was a quiet confidence in it, something steady.

his voice, when he spoke, felt deeper too.

you hadn’t noticed when that changed.

you weren’t sure when it did.

“you’re staring,” he said suddenly before standing up to get another book on his book shelf.

you blinked, snapping out of your thoughts. “i’m not.”, but you’re lying to convince yourself and honestly that doesn’t work. you notice how tall he is now, how his waist his slightly tapered, the way his muscles silently move when he moves. the more you look the more you can’t look away- it’s like you were infatuated with the way he carried himself now, as soon he moves to look at you noticing your silence he noticed your mouth is slightly parted- you quickly close it.

he glanced at you over his shoulder, his expression unreadable—but there was a faint hint of amusement there.

“you are.”

you huffed lightly, looking away. “i was just thinking, don’t get too cocky.”

“dangerous, whoa you can think? that’s a new one.” he says teasingly with a click of his teeth.

“shut up,” you muttered, but there was no real bite to it.

another silence followed.

you shifted slightly on the bed, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve.

“…you’ve changed,” you said before you could stop yourself.

the words hung in the air.

kei didn’t respond immediately, thinking of a reply- to be honest he had noticed you changed, but hasn’t said it out loud. you’re more confident now but not in a way you use to be hesitant but now more bolder. the way you carry yourself as a younger women than as a young girl- it made him feel things he didn’t know or didn’t want to acknowledge about you, and how you hair has been growing out, your real smile only came out when you were at ease with yourself-

he turned to sit back in his chair slightly, now facing you more directly.

“so have you.”

you looked at him again.

really looked.

his gaze was steady—calm, observant, like he was seeing more than he was saying.

and for a second, it made your chest feel tight.

this wasn’t the same boy who used to stand awkwardly next to you, waiting for you to lead every conversation.

this wasn’t the same kei who relied on your presence to fill the quiet.

he didn’t need that anymore.

“…i guess,” you murmured, your voice softer now, looking down at yourself. you’ve grew a bit taller, your hairs longer, how you present yourself more with pride.

your eyes drifted around the room again, searching for something familiar to hold onto.

“did you need something?” kei asked, breaking the silence again trying to act casual.

“no,” you replied quickly. “i just… wanted to come over, i was really bored at home, why want me to leave?” you say with a teasing tilt in your voice.

he nodded once, like that answer was enough, “if that was the case i’ve would have thrown you out already so please-don’t make me say that i want your company out loud- that’s embarrassing.” he counters back with a small huff.

but as you sat there, in a room that used to feel like a second home. you realized something quietly.

it still was.

you glanced around the room again, searching for something familiar to ground yourself.

but even that felt different.

or maybe—

maybe it wasn’t the room that changed.

maybe it was him.

maybe it was you.

maybe it was both of you.

you weren’t sure. something heavier you guys both don’t know how to navigate.

you know it’s not the same as it was.

neither of you said anything that day—
but something unspoken lingered, stretching further than either of you expected.

a place next to you.

previous

synopsis: it’s been day since you saw kei from your first interaction- the play date. since mrs. tsukishima and her family had moved they had to change things- a lot of things, keis and akiteru’s schooling included. it’s keis first day at your school and you’re his friend that guides him through his first day.

(w.c 1088)

two weeks had gone by since that first interaction, and your mother had told you that kei was transferring to your school.

a small wave of anxiety settled in your chest.

you hadn’t seen him since that day.

will it be the same as last time? will it be awkward?

your thoughts spiraled quietly while your mom continued talking, ranting about how difficult it had been for mrs. tsukishima to enroll kei in the middle of the school year

“-and honestly the paperwork alone was a buzzkil-.” she calls out your name seeing you weren’t paying attention and zoning out.

you only snapped out of it when you met your mother’s gaze.

“yes, mom?” you blurted out quickly.

she narrowed her eyes slightly. “were you listening… or just pretending to?”

your expression answered for you.

she sighed softly, taking a sip of her herbal tea—the one she loved so much. “overthinking again?” she asked. “you don’t think kei wants to be friends with you or something?”

you hesitated… then nodded shyly, embarrassed.

she let out a small huff. “kei’s mom said she’s hoping you’ll be his friend there too. she really likes you—well, of course, you’re my child,” she added lightly. “but she also likes the bond you and kei have.”

her voice softened.

“he likes your company. so don’t overthink it, okay?”

you nodded again, a bit more firmly this time, feeling some of the tension ease.

⋆.˚⋆˚

the weekend passed quickly, and before you knew it, it was monday.

you got ready while your mother made breakfast downstairs. the smell of pancakes drifted through the house as you made your way down.

your dad met your gaze while your mom, back turned, still noticed you.

“morning,” they said in unison.

“morning,” you replied softly.

your mom placed pancakes in front of you—on your favorite plate.

“it’s kei’s first day today,” she said. “please make him feel welcome, for mrs. tsukishima?”

“yes, i will, mommy,” you answered, a small confidence in your voice.

your parents hummed in approval.

⋆.˚⋆˚

after breakfast, you and your dad headed to the car.

the engine hummed as you sat in the backseat, listening to him talk about games—something you both enjoyed.

the familiar trees and houses came into view.

you were close.

you closed your eyes, trying to calm your nerves.

“hey, kiddo—we’re here. you got everything?” your dad asked.

“uh… yeah. yes, dad, i have everything.”

he smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to your forehead. “good. i’ll pick you up today, so keep an eye out.”

“okay.”

you stepped out and walked through the school gates, your dad only driving off once you were inside.

⋆.˚⋆˚

your eyes immediately searched for him.

blonde hair. glasses.

you didn’t see him.you let out a small breath,you weren’t sure if it was relief or disappointment.

“hey, hey, hey—you!”

you turned to see yuki and fubuki running toward you.

you smiled, hugging them as they reached you.the bell rang, the school day officially started, and you all headed to class.

⋆.˚⋆˚

you sat in your usual seat, taking out your things.

then the door opened.

the teacher walked in… with someone behind him.your heart started pounding.

it was him.

your eyes met instantly.

“good morning, everyone,” the teacher said. “i hope you all had a lovely weekend. we have a new student joining us—please let him introduce himself.”

kei nodded slightly.

“morning. my name is tsukishima kei. it’s nice to meet you all.”

whispers filled the room, but you barely heard them.

you were too focused on him.

you quickly looked down, pretending to organize your things and suddenly you were stopped by hearing a familiar voice.

“hey…”

you looked up.

he was standing right in front of your desk.

“…hi,” you said softly. “you can sit next to me—if you want. i can help you get used to everything.”

he nodded and took the seat beside you.

class continued, but every now and then, you found yourself glancing at him—checking if he was okay, if he was comfortable, if he felt belonged.

you guys spoke in class too, he was mostly asking about teachers and schedules, just the basics. you guys both speak and you ask him how the school has been treating him so far.

⋆.˚⋆˚

break came quickly.

you and kei had just started talking when-

“ooo, so this is the new boy?” fubuki said, suddenly appearing.

“his hair is really nice,” yuki added.

you groaned softly, your face heating up as you turned to them. when you looked back at kei, he stood there a little stiff, clearly unsure. you cleared your throat.

“yuki, fubuki—this is tsukishima. tsukishima, this is yuki and fubuki.”

kei gave a small nod, lifting his hand in a slight wave.

before anything else could be said, voices called out to him from the field.

his attention shifted immediately.

you shot your friends a look—you can’t just say things like that out loud.

kei glanced at you. “i’m sorry… i’ll be back. they’re calling me.”

you nodded. “it’s okay.”

you watched him leave, hoping—quietly—that he’d find friends there.

you turned back to your friends, only to be met with curious stares.

“are you replacing us?” fubuki asked, pouting slightly.

you blinked, then shook your head quickly.

“no… he’s my mom’s best friend’s son. he’s… a friend to me,” you said softly. they both look at each other then back at you- it took a lot for you to even consider or call someone a friend so knowing he got that title was also an indication that you weren’t so closed off anymore and they feel a sense of pride, “but i could never replace you guys. you know that.”

they relaxed a little, and you gave them a small smile.

but even as you talked—

your eyes drifted back to the field.

to him.

you see him out on the field, playing with the boys in your grade.for a moment, you just stand there, watching.

and then it hits you..it feels like your mission is complete.

a quiet sense of relief settles in your chest, followed by something warmer…

softer.

pride.

you can’t help it.

seeing him laugh—well, not fully laugh, but something close enough—seeing him actually join in, talking to them, moving with ease… it makes something in you lighten.

especially knowing how quiet he is.

how similar he is to you in that way.

yet here he is, finding his place.

making friends.

maybe… he’ll be okay here.

maybe you both will.

saved file: you.

previous

synopsis: you meet your mother’s long-time best friend and her child during a playdate she arranged for you. what you expected to be an awkward interaction turns into something easy and unexpected. by the end, you realize you’ve found something someone special.

(w.c 1312)

your mother’s car hums softly as it moves through unfamiliar streets, the scenery outside your window slowly changing with every turn. houses you’ve never seen before pass by, each one making your chest tighten just a little more.

then the car slows.

it pulls into a quiet driveway.

the engine cuts, and the sudden silence feels louder than the drive itself.

your mother exhales softly, a small, knowing smile tugging at her lips as she looks at the house in front of you. there’s something gentle in her expression—something familiar, comforting.

she turns to you.

you meet her gaze, your fingers curling slightly in your lap. your heart beats faster, caught somewhere between nervousness and something lighter… something hopeful.

she unbuckles her seatbelt. you follow.

the car door opens with a quiet creak, cool air brushing against your skin as you step out. when you close it, the soft thump echoes faintly in the stillness.

you shake out your arms, a habit you’ve had for as long as you can remember—like you’re trying to shake the nerves out of your body.

just because this is different doesn’t mean it’s bad. you tell yourself in your head.

your mother notices. she always does.

her hand finds yours, warm and steady, giving it a gentle squeeze. it grounds you instantly.

“are you ready?” she asks.

her voice is soft, but certain.

you take a deep breath, the air filling your lungs slowly, and nod.

together, you walk up to the front door. each step feels louder than it should, your focus narrowing as your mother reaches out and presses the doorbell.

a chime rings inside.

then footsteps—quick, approaching.

the door swings open.

a woman stands there, and the moment she sees your mother, her entire face lights up.

“ahhh, my hon!” she squeals, her voice bright and full of energy as she pulls your mother into a tight hug, swaying her side to side like she can’t quite contain her excitement.

your mother laughs, her own arms wrapping around her just as tightly.

their voices overlap, warm and familiar, blending into something you can’t quite make out—but you can feel it. years of friendship, of memories, of closeness.

when they finally pull apart, the woman keeps her hands on your mother’s shoulders, looking at her like she’s trying to take in every detail at once.

“it’s been forever… you even changed your hair!”

your mother smiles, a soft laugh escaping her.


“i told you i would.”

you watch quietly, studying her.

there’s something about her… the way she talks, the way she smiles—it tugs at your memory until it clicks. you’ve heard this voice over the phone many of times and seen her face in pictures with your mother when she was younger.

an epiphany occurred to you.

mrs. tsukishima.

your mother shifts to the side, revealing you.

and just like that, the woman’s attention is completely on you.

her eyes widen, lighting up instantly.
“oh my gosh—this is her? she looks just like you!”

before you can react, she leans down, gently pinching your cheek.

“your mom talks about you all the time. do you know who i am?”

you glance up at your mother for a second before answering,
“…are you mrs. tsukishima?”

her smile softens into something almost fond.

“that’s right,” she says, pulling you into a warm hug that smells faintly like laundry soap and something sweet.

it’s unfamiliar—but not uncomfortable.

just… new.

she ushers you both inside, and you slip off your shoes at the door. the house feels warm the moment you step in, like it’s holding onto the day’s heat.

your eyes wander.

family photos line the walls—smiling faces, captured moments. laughter frozen in time. it tells you everything you need to know about the kind of home this is.

lived in. loved.

while your mother and mrs. tsukishima fall into easy conversation, their voices overlapping again, you sit on the couch, your hands resting in your lap as you take it all in.

then your mother calls out your name.

you look up immediately.

your mother gestures for you to come over.

you slide off the couch and walk toward the kitchen, your steps slowing when you notice someone else there.

a boy.

blonde hair. bulky glasses but fit his face. about your height. he looks like a younger version of mrs. tsukishima.

he notices you at the same time.

your eyes meet—just for a second—before both of you look away.

“this is my son, kei,” mrs. tsukishima says, her voice softer now, almost encouraging. “he’s your age.”

there’s a pause.

“why don’t you two get to know each other?”

your mother nudges you gently.

you glance at kei again, your voice barely above a whisper.
“…hi.”

heat creeps up your ears out of nervousness.

kei scratches the back of his head, shifting his weight slightly.
“hi,” he replies, just as quiet.

your mothers laugh lightly.

“don’t be so shy,” one of them says.

but neither of you move.

the silence lingers—awkward, but not unbearable.

then your mother speaks again.

“didn’t you bring your nintendo ps? or what ever that small thing is called?”

you let out a small laugh despite yourself.
“mom, it’s a nintendo ds,” you correct, a tiny bit of confidence slipping through. “and yeah, i brought it.”

that’s when you notice it,

kei’s eyes light up.

it’s subtle, but it’s there.

“kei’s been wanting one for a while,” his mother says casually.

he hesitates, then looks at you.
“…do you have pokémon soulsilver?”

your entire demeanor shifts.

“that’s my favorite,” you say quickly, the words coming easier now. “do you want to try?”

you pull it out, holding it toward him.

he blinks, surprised.
“are you sure?”

you nod, offering a small thumbs up.

and just like that—

something changes.

you both move to the lounge, sitting side by side. at first, it’s just small comments… then questions… then full conversations.

pokémon. favorite starters. battles. other games.

you don’t even realize when the awkwardness disappears.

it just… does.

from across the room, your mothers share a quiet look, smiling to themselves.

outside, time slips by unnoticed.

the sky slowly deepens into shades of purple and orange, the fading sunlight filtering through the curtains and casting soft patterns across the floor around you.

it feels calm.

easy.

like you’ve known him longer than just a few hours.

then your name is called.

you blink, pulled back into the present.

standing up feels harder than it should.

“it’s time to go home,” your mother says gently.

you pout without meaning to—but you nod.

you say your goodbyes, lingering just a second longer than necessary.

kei stands nearby, a little quieter again, but not as distant as before.

back in the car, the familiar hum returns as you pull away.

your mother glances at you through the mirror, smiling.

“so?”

you don’t hesitate.
“i had an amazing time.”

there’s a small pause before you speak again.

“…mommy?”

“hm?”

“why is this my first time meeting them?”

she thinks for a moment before answering.


“they used to live far away—about five hours from here. they only moved recently, so they had a lot to figure out first.”

you nod slowly.


“who’s akiteru?”

“kei’s older brother,” she says. “he’s quite a bit older than you two.”

by the time you get home, it’s late.

the house is quiet, wrapped in that still, nighttime calm.

you change into your pajamas, slipping into bed as the soft glow of your night light paints shifting shapes across your ceiling.

you watch them for a while.

your chest feels warm.

full.

…i found a friend.

and with that thought, you drift off to sleep- the unfamiliar feeling from earlier no longer unsettling…

but something you hope stays.

the promise our mothers made.

synopsis: you and kei tsukishima are born just months apart, brought together by your mother’s long-standing friendship. at eight years old, your mother arranges a playdate to help you open up. though unsure, you agree—unaware it will become an important moment in your childhood.

(w.c 574)

you and kei tsukishima had been friends since childhood—long before either of you could even remember.

your mothers had been inseparable since high school. even as life grew busier with adulthood, responsibilities, and eventually motherhood, their bond never faded. if anything, it only grew stronger. back then, they used to joke about how their children would be just as close as they were—no matter what.

that dream began to take shape the night your mother found out she was pregnant with you. excited and emotional, she shared the news with kei’s mother, who, half-jokingly, decided to take a pregnancy test of her own that same night. to both their surprise, it came back positive. the timing felt almost unreal, like fate had decided to honour a promise they’d made years ago.

you were born first—the beginning of everything. two months later, kei followed.

unlike your mother, who was experiencing motherhood for the first time, kei’s mother had already gone through it with akiteru. still, the joy between them was shared, overwhelming, and unforgettable.

when your mother held you for the first time, the world seemed to fall silent. you were a perfect blend of her and your father, her long-awaited miracle. she had once been told that having a child might not be possible for her—but there you were, healthy and real in her arms. in that moment, nothing else mattered.

because of that, your parents became incredibly protective of you. you were their only child, their treasure, and they wanted nothing more than to give you the best life possible. both of them were naturally outgoing and lively—but you were the opposite.

even as a small child, you were quiet and reserved, often choosing to observe rather than participate.

when you were eight, your mother noticed just how quiet you had become compared to other children your age. wanting to help you open up and experience something new, your mother and kei’s mother were talking about how introverted you guys both were and your mother, she decided to take you on a play date and kei’s mother was on board with that very idea.

“playdate?” you murmured, the word unfamiliar and confusing.

she smiled brightly, nodding with enthusiasm. “yeah! a playdate. doesn’t that sound fun, baby?”

when she saw the uncertainty on your face, her expression softened. she let out a small chuckle and reached over to gently reassure you.

“don’t worry, okay? we’ll just try it. and if you don’t like it, we can go straight home. deal?”

after a moment, you gave a small, hesitant nod, still unsure but willing to trust her.

not long after, you found yourself sitting in the backseat of the car as your mother drove. she sang along passionately to one of her favourite songs—completely off-key.

you couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh.

as you gazed out the window, watching the world blur past, your thoughts wandered.

what exactly was a playdate going to be like?