it registers with hande, however dimly, that neither of them really has a leg to stand on, here, even if it feels as if they do. her problem is with a boy long dead, still seen a villain, still imagined the sole reason their friendship crumbled so completely. gracie’s is with her and her inaction, something that her stomach knots just thinking about but that she hates to claim ; it’s easier to blame it all on vincent because he isn’t here, he can’t defend himself, he probably wouldn’t even try, even if he could. it’s easier to boil it down to ‘him or me’ when it was never really that simple and the close relationship they had formed as two fresh faced first years had already started suffering weeks before that fateful day. they’d carried the weight of carrow rule and their respective secrets & insecurities like atlas and the heavens, but they were only teenage girls. neither of them actually stood a chance against something like that, and hande’s spent eight years trying to grapple and come to terms with that - she might’ve thought she succeeded if the full force of all these tumultuous feelings weren’t hitting her for the first time in a long time, right now, making the blood rush in her ears and her cheeks embarrassingly damp. knowing that neither of them can ever really be right can’t help, at this point. “i never said i was a good person, but you are certainly not the victim, gracie - you knew all along what kind of person vincent was, you just didn’t care enough to let him go.” gracie pushes and hande refuses to push BACK, not because she recognises it’s for the best but because she knows how irrational it makes gracie look and how infuriating that is, in equal measure. it’s not the high road when the decision is made out of pure spite. “no, it isn’t,” she’s SHRILL, by now, and the argument has devolved past sense or reason ; it’s not about admitting anything, anymore, but being the one to cut deepest. “it’s too late. you will always be the person who chose a death eater over everyone else that mattered. after everything he did- everything they did, to my family, to your mum…- how do you live with that?”
you are certainly not the victim, gracie. there is no PRIDE in claiming victim - it isn’t a crown one happily wears and grace has never claimed to be one, either, but she can’t help the way she feels she IS being wronged ( they both are, but there is a failure to see that ). there is no string of words grace could conjure up to make hande understand ( or anyone, it seems ), but it wouldn’t matter - she doesn’t seem that she wants to. “so that i could have been on the receiving end of his crucio? would you have preferred that ? i have SO many regrets over how things played out and right up there is how i regret wasting so much time on you.” there is very little room for her own rebuttal when she’s confronted with thoughts she’s already had of herself, but she TRIES, even with how irrational the entirety of the interaction is. if near indifference was meant to infuriate then that is exactly where the arrow has landed - blue eyes search for a bigger reaction that doesn’t come and grace hates it. this would have been the perfect time to walk away and accept some sort of defeat. an unsteady mind continues to choose fight over flight, however ; a decision that is SOLIDIFIED when the other reaches her final point and her words sting. in what feels like a split second the full force of grace’s open palm meets hande’s cheek - it doesn’t give the feeling of relief that she hoped it would. this prompts tears, finally, but of frustration. “fuck you, hande.”