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sometimes i remember this post that said "there was a time you played outside as a kid and had no idea it would be the last time you ever did" and it makes me sad thinking about how many last times there were that you never knew would be the last time... the last time you went to play at a friend's house or the last time you ever spoke, the last time you played a certain game you used to love, the last time you ever played with toys, the last time you ever had a snack before it got discontinued, the last time you ever read a certain book you used to love, the last time you ever saw a certain commercial, the last time you went into the kids section at a library or anywhere else for that matter...

I consistently leave social situations feeling like I’ve talked too much and too loudly, and emphatically said things I don’t mean. I leave wishing I’d given more compliments and eaten more slowly. How do other people speak so fluidly, tell their stories so gracefully? I am messy and hungry and always swearing, always starting my sentences without knowing where they’ll end. 

I be like “idc” then have an anxiety attack.

actually means "i care"