&burn

I haven’t seen what is going on with the Kardashians in ages. What did I miss? Tell me all the gossip. The only thing I kind of know about Twilight is that the lad that sparkle in the sun is going to play Batman. Hunger Games is great, really. I have yet to read the third book but I’m a lazy person.

Lately I’ve just been trying to see if Khloe’s okay. You missed the whole thing about her boyfriend kissing Kylie’s best friend? It was like Watergate, let me tell you. Is Rob really gonna play Batman, though? I thought that was a rumor.

Is that a such thing? ‘Cause if it is then I want to be pointed in it’s direction because that would be funny as all get out. Hm, let me see. One of my biggest guilty pleasures is mint chocolate chip ice cream covered in fruity pebbles. Don’t ask, I have weird tastes, but it’s good nonetheless. You should try it.

Oh, I thought you were about to say your guilty pleasure was mint chocolate chip ice cream and I was about to tell you that doesn’t count but since you put the fruity pebbles in there... I might try it or I might just need to see someone else try it.

We all have our little quirks in life. Tabloids are not one of mine. After ending up in them years ago when dating one of my exs because I had to half carry her out from being beyond wasted, it’s not something I enjoy. Never read either of those books but I’m sure there are things just like them that you can find.

I wanna know that full story, but I won’t ask. Definitely not my business but if I happen upon a tabloid about it... don’t judge me for reading it. 

Not too sure I’d be a very good one, I get distracted too easily and would most likely forget what I was even asking questions about. Nor should you. We all have our guilty pleasures, even some that we don’t want to admit to. Do you have any other ones?

Nice try, buddy! I’m not gonna give up all my secrets. It’s your turn! What’s your guilty pleasure, huh? I bet it’s something weird, like... videos of farm animals playing mini golf. Or something.

I never pay attention to the tabloids because I’m terrified of what people are going to say about me, ignoring is the way to go. What happened, though? Did you read a lot of stuff about the Kardashians? I’ve never read Twilight or Fifty Shades books, thank God. You can always read Hunger Games shit all over again, I dunno.

Yeah, of course I read a lot about the Kardashians. They completely monopolize the tabloids, it’s impressive, really. Twilight and Fifty Shades had an underlying element of trash that the Hunger Games series didn’t, I couldn’t read it the same way. 

Pretty much.  I mean we turn thirty this year and we met when we were fifteen.  A grey hair?  Damn girl.  Should I be calling you grammy now?

I was gonna say we should have a joint birthday party, but your birthday’s months after mine. Call me grammy and you’re dead.

Cara: caught me red-handed. what sounds better: wild night out, sweet night in or smoking at the beach?

Equally as bad sounds good to me. Oh man, throwback to my fanfiction days. I know, it’s so hard to follow shows today. I’m right there with you though, I need something really juicy to read. 

That’s it, I’m starting a book club. Do you wanna be a co-founder with me?

Oh really? But you seem so much smarter than that, Luce, half of it ain’t true anyways. But then again I guess if you’re readin’ it for fun then who cares if it’s true. Know Twilight was more true-to-life than some of the things they wrote about me.

Hey, I didn’t say I was proud of it! Plus, not everyone has the wild shit written about them that you have. I think the boy band made it easier for you.

Nahh I’m not one to judge on what people read, I’m just trying to figure out what everyone loved about them.

I just love trash, I guess. I get into it just like everyone else does and then when everyone stops being into the latest trash, I continue to enjoy it every once in a while. Don’t you have a guilty pleasure?

Oh my God, really? that’s really messed up, I couldn’t imagine what’s wrong with the person who said that. Right? I don’t see me either, thank God because I see people coming up with the most strange things. I wonder what’s in their mind.

Me too. Maybe we should start going to all the places people go to so they can start making things up about us. See what they come up with.

Cara: not yeeeeet but i will be tomorrow, babes. did you have any fun ideas we could get up to?

Sometimes they can be so toxic but I have to admit I also sin of being curious and check what’s said about me or people I’ve worked with so I know all the gossip, but I don’t do that often. The less credible source is Twitter, I barely believe anything I read there. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in the tabloids?

I think I saw something about Kris Jenner and Kanye West’s secret relationship the other day, that was fucking weird. I don’t see you in there often, I think the tabloid people respect you too much. Must be nice!

You don’t like reading different things about yourself that you hadn’t known before? I can see your point there though. It’d be a little bit on the weird side for sure. You gotta admit that’d be a kinda funny and ironic front page story.

“Lucy Hale reads about... Lucy Hale?” I can see the buzzfeed listicles now about how that’s someone’s “eternal mood” or something.

At first I wasn’t quite sure where you were going with this, but I think I’m on board now. I mean the tabloids are absolutely ridiculous but as long as you take it all with a grain of salt, they can be fun. I also appreciate your honesty on the subject.

I’m surprised that I’m not being judged at all for my love of tabloids... I really expected some kind of backlash for this, especially since the tabloids make money off of their lies, but... it’s so good. I can’t get enough.