scream queen

So I’ve seen way too many movies about the girl that moves to a new town alone, introduces herself to everybody by asking for sugar or directions and then turns out to be a psycho killer or a stalker, that I’m actually kinda suss about my own intentions for packing up my whole life and moving to Bayview. Hopefully, I’m not the crazy new neighbour but ironically, I did forget to pack sugar and coffee so I do already need to beg and fit into that cliche whilst hoping you all take pity on me and don’t run away scared. Hey Bayviewians, I’m Alison - your new resident crazy cat lady and not a serial killer trying to up her body count by befriending you all. Pinky promise. 

So are you outing yourself as Bayview’s psycho killer/stalker? Because Ryan Murphy and my many season of American Horror Story has prepared me for this very moment, so don’t mess with me. I will however give you the benefit of the doubt and get to know you before deciding if you’re a serial killer or not. I’m Billie and welcome to Bayview! What part of town are you calling home? And also did you sneak away onto this town trip?

They love it! Still have a lot more to watch and get into, but it’s still exciting. Astronaut Elsa it is, I’m not gonna argue on that one! Ohh, she’s definitely got the sass. Ha, right? See, that I wanna at least see. I mean… I’ve told him before, I’ll be bellhop or even a lamp for fuck’s sake. Now that, I am totally here for. Maybe we need to send him a basket of mini muffins or something!

At least they gave it a chance and they’re into it! That’s all that matters. Plus as they get older, they can always rewatch them as much as their hearts desire. I know I definitely do sometimes. I need to sweet talk him into writing us into a season together. Next time I see him, it’s on. But I think the mini muffin basket is always a step in the right direction. Who can say no to a basket of baked goods?

Churros and funnel cake — I can’t believe I forgot to mention the other most important thing ‘bout Disneyland. You can’t have a birthday without cake, right? And nothing better than the fried type. Thanks, girl! On both counts! Whew, you sure know the way to a girl’s heart. Damn. Those drinks better be some Jarritos to go with the tacos! …and maybe some tequila if we’re feeling fierce.

Yes, funnel cake is always a must as well! I feel like the type of cake is up to the birthday person. So if funnel cake makes you happy, then funnel cake it is! It was nice seeing you for tacos and tequila. We should do it again sometime!

Me too! We’ll be here most of the weekend, I’ve got water balloon wars with Jason and the kids to win, and I know that everyone’s looking forward to the fireworks happening at the end of the weekend, too, so it should be a really good time! It was a great opportunity, just getting to put my touch on something special and create something for the rest of the world to enjoy, you know? The feedback has been amazing. Have you been doing much eating here this weekend? Get anything yummy from the food trucks?

It was nice seeing you guys over the weekend for a bit! A party on the beach with friends, games, food, and fireworks is always a great time! Exactly! Plus it’s something different to get creative with, which I’m sure was a fun process for you to go through. I’m in need of some new swimsuits so I’ll be checking out and supporting your line, because I love you. I was practically living by the food trucks over the 4th of July weekend. The taco food truck was of course my favorite. The vendor and I became best friends by the end of the day and he was hooking me up with extra sides. How did you and the family enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend?

See! That’s how precious a good hairdresser is. And that’s how important it is to find said hairdresser. Damn, yes. I’m lucky cause at the end of the day we just went back to the color I had before the gray hair shows up but it’s annoying when it’s a brand new color. Outch yeah, I get it!

I went through so many hairdressers before I found her. Now she’s stuck with me and she knows it too. That sounds like an easy process at least! When you have to go through the process of bleach and adding a whole new color, that’s when it gets complicated and takes so much time. 

oh god i believe you. those are way, way dangerous. and also not very good so a good thing to stay away from them. see, that does drunk natalia too. like, drunk natalia thinks the alcohol is enough and forgets that it’s not and then it’s just too late. yes, he is my cute little prince and i love him. you have to come over as often as you want to meet mr floppy ears.

They really aren’t good and they should be discontinued. Drunk Billie always tries to play it off like she’s not that drunk and she had plenty of time to take her makeup off. Nine times out of ten, I’ll pass out before taking it off. Unless I’m lucky or have a friend with me to remind me. I of course need to meet Mr. Floppy Ears. Are you free this weekend sometime?

Hey, people! After many pleads and texts from my cast members, I decided to join  — kidding, they only wanted Kit Young, but whatever, here I am. My name is Archie, and I’m twenty-three years old. BBC One lovers might know me from Gold Diggers, but I also play Mal in Shadow and Bone. I know most of us don’t really know each other, but hey, who says we can’t get to know each other? Tell me your most embarrassing story… Okay, kidding, that’s maybe too much, but how about your favourite song, and is there a meaning behind it? I’ll start with saying my favourite song is Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. There are so many songs from Tracy that I listen to daily; Baby Can I Hold You, Talkin’ ‘bout a Revolution, and Give Me One Reason. She’s wonderful. There’s not really a meaning behind it, for me, the vibes just right. @townofbayview​

I feel like I have way too many favorite songs, orit changes on a daily baiss for me to really choose one. Of course I love the classics like The Beatles and Fleetwood Mac. Tracy Chapman is also classic. I feel like it just depends what kind of music I’m in and that influences what I feel like listening to. Sometimes I want to shake my ass to some Cardi B. Other times I want to scream sing Landslide while I’m in my feels. I’m Billie by the way!

Wow, it has been a crazy 24 hours. And by crazy, I pretty much mean I’ve been laying in bed, eating Cheetos, playing video games and wondering if there’s a local D&D group in Bayview. If not, you better watch out, I’m bringin’ it to ya. Anyway, what’s up, Bayview? Have any pointers for this newbie? I might be a self-admitted huge nerd, but I’m not antisocial. I need some help getting out of these four walls - ASAP! @townofbayview​

That sounds very similar to my past 24 hours. I’ve been laying in bed and I did snack on some Cheetos. But I haven’t been playing video games. Instead I’ve been shuffling across streaming networks until something jumps out at me. You know, I know absolutely nothing about D&D, or if Bayview even has a group for that matter. But I fully support you in starting one of your own. I may even check it out and see what all the hype is about. I’m Billie by the way!

I have a list of scary but exciting things I wanna do in life and this Summer I crossed “moving to a new place” and “releasing my debut single”. I’ll let you guess which one of those things was the scariest. But now I’m curious. Do you have a bucket list, too? Or is there a scary but exciting thing you’ve been dreaming of doing? I’ll listen to all of your wishes while I’m exploring the area – it’s so pretty here! Oh, I’m Inbar, by the way.

Congratulations on checking tow big things off of your bucket list for the year! My gut is telling me the debut single was much scarier, since I can only imagine it would be. I feel like my bucket list is more of places that I want to travel at some point in my life. I’ve done a good job of checking them off over the years, but I still have a way to go. I’m Billie by the way! Welcome to town!

Nothing like moving to a new place as an early birthday gift and then remembering once you get there that you have to unpack. On the bright side I have a whole new place to decorate and I’m totally rewarding myself every night until I finish. So for my first night I ordered pizza with everything, having a big glass of wine and watching Workin Mom’s even though I have no kids. If anyone wants to throw out ideas for rewards for the future I’m all ears. Oh and I’m Phoebe, just came from Australia and still can’t get used to be thrown into a different timezone…let alone a day behind. Kind of feel like I time traveled. @townofbayview

Well first of all, happy birthday! Second of all, you should have gotten the movers to do the unpacking and heavy lifting. Although decorating and putting the finishing touches on everything is always a ton of fun. That certainly sounds like a perfect first night reward. If you want to try out a bunch of the amazing restaurants in town, you can always treat yourself to some takeout from one of those places after every night you get some stuff done. I’m Billie by the way! What part of town are you in?

I thought I had known true exhaustion already, but it turns out I was mistaken because true exhaustion is moving into a new place in the heat of July whilst pregnant. Who told me this was a good idea? I haven’t a clue. Catch me hiding in my new house for the rest of the summer and ordering nothing but take-away every night. @townofbayview​

I’m already exhausted from this summer heat, but I couldn’t even imagine being pregnant in the middle of this. You poor thing. I hope you’re keeping cool and finally relaxing now that you’re here. Hiding inside with the air conditioning and take out sounds like exactly what you need right now. Have a good movie marathon or a Netflix binge while you’re at it. Welcome to town by the way, I’m Billie!

After wrapping on season seven, I flew into LA and celebrated my thirty-third trip around the sun by spending the day at Disneyland, and when I say I ate my weight in churros… I’m saying I ate my weight in churros, with the occasional pickle thrown in for good measure. From soaking in that California sun, your girl is ready to switch up and get back to her roots – in other words: Dice is back, baby! I’m officially in my hot girl summer, and nobody’s going to take it away from me. I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, Bayview. @townofbayview​

As a fellow Disneyland lover, eating your weight in churros sounds like the perfect way to celebrate. Happy birthday, by the way! And also welcome back to Bayview! Meet me over by the food trucks and I’ll treat you to some welcome home tacos and some drinks! 

So I hear Disney is having all these cool movies hit streaming this summer. The kids also are got their toes dipped into Star Wars for the first time and Amorette went from wanting to be Astronaut Elsa to Princess Leia. I mean, that’s pretty close, right? Space princesses are the best. So that’s my oddly fun Disney news of the week. In other news, I am super excited for the new season of American Horror Story. I still think Justin’s ghost can come back and annoy the shit out of everyone. Just don’t tell Ryan that… he might get ideas. @ffslourd​

It makes my heart so happy knowing the kids are getting into Star Wars. I feel like Astronaut Elsa is close enough. She’s got the spirit and I know my mom would be super proud of her regardless. Listen, I will never forgive Ryan for not casting you and I on a season together. I keep crossing my fingers for future seasons or even other projects he comes up with. I need to start bugging him or even bribing him to make this happen for us.

But that’s difficult. I told someone that it’s like finding your soulmate. It takes some time but once you’ve found them, you never let them go. It was an easy transformation indeed, although I’m looking forward to having it grow back gray. Ouh, yeah, I’m with you on that. We feel amazing afterwards but the noises are a bit scary.

That’s actually a perfect comparison because I adore my hairdresser and she basically is my hair’s soulmate. I can imagine! Dyeing your hair can be a pain in the ass if you have to keep it up. It’s just much easier to have it grow out all natural. I don’t mind all of the cracks and pops. It’s just when my neck cracks and the pops ring through my ears that makes it scary.