lioness

i knew that you'd relate to the struggle, seriously! i feel like you probably have me beat with the amount of fake blood you have had to contend with. honestly, you will find it on you weeks later, i feel like that. it basically turns into a random surprise when you find some. you might have lost your mind, but i'm right there with you! i still also have the fear of watch me get pulled over and i'm covered in and trying to explain i play pretend for a living and i promise i did not harm a single person.

i've had to deal with quite a bit, though you've dealt with enough to know it can be a challenge to spot it all at once. though what helps me is a soak in the tub at the end of the day, since it'll at least loosen the bits of blood you can't see. if i'm not already battling exhaustion, that helps a lot. i never claimed to be sane, though thank you for embracing me regardless. oh my god, now i have a new fear there in case i drive home. that's when you start name dropping every famous person you know as a character reference, like really, talk to them, they know i'm not a murderer!

I like the way you think. This isn't a missed opportunity, it's just postponed. Which might be even better because then we can actually plan it instead of trying to squeeze it in between call times. And yes! That's exactly what happens. You finally settle in, stop second-guessing every scene, everyone finds their rhythm. and then someone hands you flowers and says, that's a wrap. Home has been really nice, though. I think I needed it more than I realized. I've mostly just been soaking up time with Taylor and River, sleeping in my own bed, and remembering what it's like to have absolutely nowhere to be. It's kind of wonderful. I'm trying very hard not to jump straight into another project. Normally I'd already be looking at the next script, but I promised myself I'd actually enjoy this little break before disappearing onto another set. What about you? What have I missed? Tell me everything.

that's very true, that we'll have the luxury of planning so we can fit in every single detail we'd like, and even leave some room for spontaneity. it always feels that way, yeah? all the time we've spent with these characters is finally paying off, and then it's all finished and we're left with them still running about our minds. i know it always takes me a beat to let go of a character, anyway. i'm so thrilled you're getting the time at home, love, and nothing like being able to stay there for an extended time. i'm jealous since i'm looking forward to that soon enough, once promo is over. and i'm proud of you for actually enjoying your break rather than rushing into work since i know that can be really tough. well, once i'm done on the promo trail, i'll have some time to figure out my next moves too, so naturally hoping to head home for a little while, take a page out of your book and actually enjoy some time off.

i'm convinced fake blood has a personal vendetta against actors. no matter how careful i am, i always seem to find a random streak of it somewhere hours later. i refuse to believe i'm the only one who's gone home looking like they've committed several crimes. @gothmgs

oh, hardly the only one who's gone through that sort of trouble with too clingy fake blood, i promise! i've probably gone though literal gallons of it throughout my films, and i've accepted the inevitable that i'll always take it home with me in some form, whether it's in my hair or hidden patches on my skin. it turns into a game of hide and seek, and i've also found there's a calm in peeling it off later on. though is that just me, or have i official lost what's left of my mind?

Okay, maybe I over-exaggerated, but it does feel like you somehow escape from my grasp. Not that I can be mad about it. I don't know how you successfully manage being a mother to such a young child and juggling the work that comes along with filming. All the travelling must be a nightmare, but I'm still so grateful for every piece of movie media you give me. We're all so lucky to have you in the industry. If we ever did manage to book the same project, just know, I might not be able to control my excitment. No, I find watching myself on screen really off putting for some reason. I'll watch pieces that I think are important, if entirely necessary, but usually, I want to run and hide. You're wise with it. I knew you would be. I think you have a good few years before she'll be old enough to watch anything you've starred in. You're phenomenal, but a lot of your work is terrifying.

i wish that weren't the case, love! you know i'd work with you on something in a heartbeat. i'd say the same, but isabel honestly makes it all effortless when i'd do anything for her. she's my heart. and sometimes it's draining, but i love to travel, and i'd like to think i'm giving isabel a bit of my childhood too, seeing the world at such an early age. and listen to you, you're going to make me blush with all these compliments! if we end up booking the same project, we can always throw our own party over it to celebrate, how about that? i get it because i'm not used to watching myself on screen without judging myself a little either, so i completely understand the folks who don't want to watch at all. that's true, so much of my work isn't for children, and maybe by then, she'll be old enough to just want to watch those things on her own.

i can understand that. it’s easy to take on roles when the director and creator is just as passionate about things. shame we’re not getting a jane fonda movie, but the mystery around this is more than enough for me to know i’ll be tuning in. a sister? even better. did you two first meet on marrowbone or was there a friendship happening before that was even a thing? i can confirm that she’s indeed lovely to work with. one of the best in hollywood. doesn’t shock me. you and zendaya? the star power there alone is insane.

exactly, it ends up feeling like they're taking you along for their vision of the project. i agree, though she's too much a legend not to have a film of her own at some point. i'm happy the mystery of the film intrigues you, though! may have been the goal. we did indeed meet filming marrowbone, and in fact, she was the first person from the cast i met. i just knew immediately i wanted to be in her life forever. and it's perfect you got the experience of working with her too. oh, don't remind me of who's all in the cast because i'm regularly pinching myself just getting mentioned with any of them, powerhouses they all are.

congratulations, and that's honestly so exciting! you'll have to tell me all about it, at least as much as you're allowed to while filming, but i can't imagine that set will be anything but an incredible time. we'll have to have our adventure, and if that includes smuggling me onto set, i wouldn't argue with that ever.

i was in bits reading that script and it really was the most nate way of going out. him leaving this mortal coil because of a snake bite was everything to me and you know i hammed it up when i got the chance. i had a lot of mixed feelings returning for season three and i would be lying if i said i wasn't relieved to put an end to that chapter of my life. is that ungrateful of me? don't get me wrong, without the show, i wouldn't have the career that i now have but yeah. it's complicated. what's been your fave death scene you've ever filmed?

i also think the death suited him so much, and that just made it all the more amusing to me, aside from thinking about you having a ball with it on set. what a memorable way to end his time on the show! oh, i don't think it's ungrateful of you in the least to be relieved by euphoria ending, love. there was so much time between the first season and the end, and i think that alone would have perhaps changed some feelings. you can still have room to be grateful for all the show's done for you, yet also be relieved it's ended when it doesn't quite fit the way it once did. oh, easily elderly pearl. i did my own stunts so i spent a whole day being yanked around on wires when she broke her hip shooting a gun. and of course the grand finale of having her head run over.

It's definitely one of the kindest things anyone can do for another person. Sometimes your brain gets itself stuck in a loop and no amount of logic will convince it to calm down, so having people around you who can gently pull you back to reality is such a gift. Wait, that's really lovely to hear! I don't always get it right, but I've always thought that if someone I care about is struggling with something, I'd rather be the person helping carry the weight than adding to it. I'd argue with that but where would that get us? I also think Meryl, Nicole and Lupita are hard people to compete with. Although the idea of me replacing you is making me laugh. Imagine the meeting. I feel like there'd be at least a few follow-up questions. It would be one of the strangest recasts in cinema history. Ha, "sort of okay" is a understatement. You did much better than sort of okay. Which is already an impressive achievement considering I was probably sitting there making the most unhelpful expression imaginable. I much prefer the idea of it being blessed rather than cursed. The cool side of the pillow, yeah but don't forget always find the perfect parking spot! Those are the kinds of magical powers people actually want. I'm more tempted so I can enjoy watching you get embarrassed every time it's mentioned.

the gentleness being the main point, since i know i've frustrated people to the point of snapping at me. not that i can blame them, but just makes me value the folks who have a gentle technique about pulling me out of my head all the more. none of us are perfect, though you've always been calming vibes to me, and that always makes any struggle a little easier, in my opinion. they're the best in the business, so i'd almost be proud of being replaced by any of them. what, you don't think you could pull off any of my roles? because i think you could! meanwhile, no one could believe me as spiderman. i'm so glad you like the painting more than sort of okay. at least that's what i can tell people if they judge it at all, like you try painting andrew when he's making faces the whole time! blessed, the word i was looking for when my mind conjured good curse, which i guess exists there now. the perfect parking spot, all the green lights, just go all out. if you end up framing the painting, i'm just going to cover my face every time i come see you, since you know i'll be red the whole time.

that is true and I hope they carry that experience with them for a lifetime. I would have appreciated seeing your face in the crowd. I do have the best management team in the world. they've even helped me curb my social media addiction; which has taken such a load off my shoulders. the less I hear from the peanut gallery, the better. and like you said, our friends and families are more deserving of our eyes and ears. it really is! a cultural hub unlike any other. would definitely go back there again if I had chance. 'cause even when working I had a blast. fingers crossed, it happens for you! that I am. it was recently renewed for season two! so hopefully, you'll be seeing more of my face. haha. from your mouth to the universe's ears.

i'm certain they will, and believe that next time you're on stage, i'll be there to witness and cheer you on. oh, not being on social media honestly helps so much, and i really don't think our brains were made for reading opinions like that in bulk anyway, not without being completely overwhelmed. so i'm happy to avoid that too and just pay attention to what friends and family are telling me since they have my best interests at heart. would you live in new york given the chance? and i'd be thrilled about that, though it's always about the opportunity and which projects come up, the timing. i'm open to theater either way. congratulations on the renewal too! i just can't see them not inviting you back since clearly that'd be the best decision for them.

any time, because you deserve all compliments you've received. i bet you've been getting praise for years though, but if you're anything like me, you never really get used to it. i've been excited for the odyssey since hearing it was being made. the cast is amazing and working with sir christopher nolan has to have felt like such an honor, i'm sure. i'll be first in line to see the film when it's released and i won't plague you for any information that could get you in trouble. i am actually taking a small break before getting back to work. i have a few projects lined up, so i guess you'll have to wait and see what comes.

i don't think i'll ever get used to any praise, you're right about that! it's funny though since a few years ago, i just felt so frustrated with being in the cycle of playing the same roles, and i felt so ready to take on something different and where i could contribute a little more. fast forward to now when i'm living that professional life i wanted and i'm still in disbelief of it sometimes. so no, getting used to it isn't happening, i'm afraid. absolute honor, and i didn't even read the script before saying yes to chris' offer. he's brilliant, i'd work with him on anything, and i just feel so lucky he thought of me for the role i have. thank you, and you'll certainly have to tell me what you think of the film when it's finally released. a few projects, he says, while probably juggling like 12 at once! i joke, but please do keep me in the loop with any nibbles of intel you can share, since you know i'll be excited for it.

That's exactly the kind of support I need. Someone who immediately hears dream vacation and volunteers themselves for it. France still? You're really committed to making me jealous. Every time I think about you over there eating incredible food and looking effortlessly chic, I get fomo. I'm about to start filming Iron Jane in Kentucky, so my life right now is just training, eating, and pretending seven meals a day is a normal way for a person to exist. But I mean it, the second I have a break, I'm finding you. I don't care if you're still in France, back home, or hiding somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We're making up for lost time.

who am i if not someone to volunteer myself for a dream vacation with you? i'd have to be completely ill otherwise. i'd say you know what the solution to fomo is, having you here with me, but pesky work has gotten in the way, i see! although iron jane? i already can't wait to see you in this role, especially knowing how hard you're working for it. god, seven meals? i had to sort of make sure i had balanced meals when i filmed starfighter, but nothing like that. i hope they're tasty and not like, a boiled chicken plate i'm imagining. and yes please, come and see me! although if i end up with a break first, i'll come see you instead, deal? we'll be making up for lost time before you know it.

it's all the truth and that much is so obvious considering what you've done so far. thank you for saying that, too. you're living the dream, oh my god. how long are you there for? and trust me, i know how it can be with the secrets there. am i right at least in assuming that means it's about jane fonda? yes, you heard right. it's my first in year and so far, so good. i thought it'd be a little harder getting back into the swing of things but it's come back pretty naturally which i'm so grateful for.

living the dream, there's not been a more accurate phrase to describe this whole project! i'll be here in france a while longer, at least until having to do some promo. sadly, it's not about jane fonda at all, though i wish it were. though i don't think you'll be disappointed with the story all the same, since it's a gorgeous one. i'm so happy to hear you've gotten into the swing of being on tour again, which does't surprise me because in my book, there's nothing you can't do, love. i wish i could see a show since i know it has to be a stunner. though maybe once filming is over, i can make some plans.

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the truth is i should have known how that would play out, given i'm rather picky about my produce even when i pick it out myself. so trusting some stranger with it was always going to be a failure. plus you said the magic words with a farmer's market, and i can easily make a day of going to one. in fact, i may try to find one here in france where i'm filming, make a mission of a fruit salad. i did end up throwing them out in the yard so they weren't completely wasted, but all the same, lesson learned. i'm glad your story had a happy ending though, that you got the food you actually wanted even if you had to shop for it yourself.